We've all done it. We've all tried to fuck with the Jesus. Post your first Jesus comic here. I know, they can't all be as good as kramer v kramer's. Do it - do it and shame the devil.

Here's mine:

Don't Mess With The Jesus by boloboffin 6-01-06

Oh....dear God... No, no! Not me! Not me.... Haa-cha!

It was my 27th one. Sigh.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Wow, it took me 2 years b4 I gave Jesus his break.

Teh Omen - The salt of the etheral is bad for you. by smamurai 10-29-03

Just leave the pizza on the doorstep please, the money is under the doormat. Lord, it is I, Father O'Irish. We have have suceeded in traking down and killing the spawn of Satan. You were in peril for she was quickly bearing down on this location. Really? My child that is fantastic news. You made sure of it? Oh yes. She clearly had the mark of the beast on her left hand. It was the colour of blood and read, 555-0139. Never before have I seen such an evil in the guise of a human. 555-0139? But that's my phone number. Do you think that perhaps this number may have been written in red felt-tip and you have just murdered the pizza delivery girl? Well now that you mention it, the evil hell-breed was wielding a bread-based savoury. We just assumed it was evil pizza. The anchovies were palpable.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Evangelism by HCRoyall 9-14-05

Good morning! Can I help you? I'm with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Have you accepted Jesus into your life? Are you kidding me?! I let the bastard in two years ago and he never left! You're out of milk again.

That's my first one that I remember. I recently went back and switched the 3reasons jesus with Injokester's because it fit better.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

The "meat and potatoes" stripcreator Christianity sketch by TheGovernor 11-30-02

The Roman Perspective You comfortable Jesus? yeah, its not too bad once you're up So let me get this straight, you nail me to a cross, and this in some way allows me to forgive all humanities sins in the eyes of god? Na not really, just thought it'd be a laugh.

CC155: An Evening with Jesus H. Christ by UnknownEric 11-22-02

Wow. Jesus Christ? Is it really you? Yes, my son. I'm here to answer one question for you and one question alone. Only one question? Yes. Okay, that's it. Your one question was answered. Aww, crud. And I had a really good question about me, Laetitia Casta, and a tub of butter. No.

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I has a flavor!

Didn't take me long - it's my second comic.

American Sacrilege Pie by TheBlairZip 8-18-01

One Autumn Day... Excuse me, sir? Where are you going? I'm looking for my next customer. Have you seen anyone that might fit my needs as a potential client? Um...Nope. Good girl...

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

One of my first 20 or so, and also the one with the most positive comments ever out of mine:

 

Spirit guide, part 2 by NeoVid 4-22-01

A depressed Jon talks with his new advisor, Jesus' brother Bob. So drinking more will solve all of my problems? Naw, but it'll give you something to blame besides yerself... ...Are you sure you're related to Jesus? You don't seem to have the love of mankind thing going on. Hey, I love Mick Foley! And I like my brother... he's just kind of snotty about stuff..... Bob thinks back to an argument they had in the past. He always wins these fights with the same damn comeback... Dad loves me more.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Alas, my first Jesus comic was a part of the tragedy which was a serial comic:

 

Serial Comic 8: They Usually Don't Suck This Much 'Til Later by not_Scyess 3-31-03

Hello? 'allo! Is Jezus in trouble? 'ow can I 'alp? What you should be asking is how you can help yourself, with the new-and-improved RONCO FEMUR MASSAGER -- Ach! Damned telemarketeurs! **CLICK** At least this means Jezus is steel okhay... Meanwhile Want to see me fire lasers from my eyes? Um, yeah... maybe if you weren't staring at my crotch...

Of course it makes no sense.  It made no sense even as part of the serial comic.  More alas, I got through three years of my comics and didn't see another.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

My first comic was my first Jesus comic:

How hung is god? by choadwarrior 4-30-03

Jesus, is it true God created us in His own image? Yes, my child And He also made us ashamed of our nakedness? Yes, my child So He has a tiny wang too?

Cheesus Movies (Just Wrong on Many Levels) by christopher7murphy 1-06-07

Ladies and Gentelmen, Stripcreator.com does not have a "Wedge of Cheese" as part of thier Prop Selection. Consequently, the part of Marlon Brando will be played by Jesus, in a WEDGE OF CHEESE PRODUCTION: -----------------On The Waterfront -------------- I 'Gouda' been a contender!

Fromage Homage! More Sweet Cheesus Movies by christopher7murphy 1-15-07

Wedge of Cheese Productions bring you: Jesus, in........The Wizard of Oz. There's no place like 'provolone!' There's no place like 'provolone!' And don't miss Jesus as............Hamlet! To 'brie,' or not to 'brie!' And coming soon! Jesus in that Atomic Thriller from Japan: King Kong vs 'Gorgonzolla!'

Sweet Cheesus...Will it Never End? by christopher7murphy 1-16-07

Ladies and Gentelmen, Stripcreator.com does not have a "Wedge of Cheese" as part of thier Prop Selection. Consequently, the part of Robert Preston will be played by Jesus, in a WEDGE OF CHEESE PRODUCTION: Seventysix Trombones in the big parade! Hey...where's the 'Cheese' in that? Trombone equals...'LONGHORN!' Get it?

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

The Toga Bar - What the hell. by up4abeer 5-07-07

What are you doing here? I have come to remind people that sex is natural and war is not. I'm here for karaoke. What are you going to sing? "Onward Christian Soldiers" and "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" You are such an Asshole.

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Shovel Ready

Took me almost a year -

CCIX #17: NaE by Namgubed 8-06-02

KP - K7 ... Check! Well, make your move! Fine ... B x KP! Celestial Battle Chess ROCKS, Jesus! AAAAIIIEEEE!! I AM DIEING!! ROOAAR !!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

My first was a Easter comic

Here is my first "normal" one

Swim with the Jeezfish

Help! Save me!!! What again?

by RedfeatheR, 8-07-05

And here is my favorite.

McButchers IX by RedfeatheR 6-17-06

Welcome to McButcher's. What would you like? To preach the good news of the kingdom of God *sigh* to eat... FUCKIN' seasoned curlieeeees

-- red

I long ago deleted my first Jesus comic. This is the only one that shows up anymore in my comic history:

What a Bully by crackpanther 11-21-06

Do I see Superstar behind any of your names? No? Then shut the fuck up.

Choose your own divine biblical adventure by ObiJo 2-09-01

It really is a great thing you're doing, giving your life to save us from our sins. Why, thank you, son. You don't know how refreshing it is to hear that. You wouldn't BELIEVE some of the things I hear around here. So, how's the pussy in heaven? OK, kids, now here's the choose-your-own-adventure part. For an upright Jesus comment, cover the right half of this panel and read the left. For a pimp daddy Jesus, cover the left and read the right Don't make me get off this cross and come down there. DEE-vine.

Not as bad as my first drug comic at least.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

My only one (51st overall):

RCL Intermezzo: The Air That I Breathe by DrMorton 6-11-07

Please save me, Jesus! What can I do for you, little fish? Could you turn all this air around me into water? Sorry, the trick works with wine only. But I can multiply fish. Okay, at least I won´t die alone. Cough! Cough! Glad I could help.

Ha ha, I should give a bit of a noob alert on this one. In my defence it does make a little bit of sense if you read the whole series (which I wouldn't recommend).

You Guessed It- A Strip About VOI's Anus, part 16. by TooMuchCoffeeGuy 8-05-04

The Robotic legion pushes ever Eastward from Los Angeles. You'd better call me like you promised... No dice. You will die! Crushing every human in their path. Where do I put the money in? I am not a Poker Machine! Die Flesh-Bag Some put up very little resistance. Heavenly father will save us! No, you're pretty much fucked.

Well I did at least spell, but otherwise I think every one of the rules I put up in the "I don't know how to post in a thread" thread.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I used Christ in my second comic. It was for an FTC contest, so using him was dictated by the rules:

FTC #14: You're the great Jesus Christ by Xuanwu 12-15-03

Happy Birthday, Jesus! Santa sends his love...and this present. That milk-swilling glory hound? Put it with the others. ...and I want a doggy, and another leg for Jimmy, and a seashell, and a Polly Perky Tits dolly, and... For the last time, I'm not Santa!! Now go play in Saddam's bunker. Jesus, you just won't believe the hit you've made around here. You are all we talk about, the wonder of the year... When I get back, Neeley and Webber are going to get a crucifix where I don't shine.

The first time I used Christ on my own was as part of a DBZ parody:

Anime Guide 7 - Dragonball Z Part 7 by Xuanwu 1-09-04

Goku goes in search of his opponent! Where is my worthy-yet-weaker-than-me rival? I'm down here! I have come for you, my opponent! Face me so I maybe smite you with my SUPER SAIYIN powers! Fool! I, too, have powered up! BEHOLD! NO! Now I will have to power up more in order to match his power! Curse you, plot twists! AHA! It is me, Jesus!

Anyone else remember the "AHA! It is me, Jesus!" meme? 

Xuanwuyeah that was fun. (until jesus got all prima donna about the size of his trailer)

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what if nigger meant kite

G.I. Jesus by The_young_scot 7-13-05

clips from the new show G.I. Jesus G.I. Jesus! The cartel have us surrounded! Suppressing fire on them! send the alter boys on a flanking mission, and for my sake woman, show us some cleavage! I'll never tell you the access codes Dr.Steelshaft! Could you at least put some clothes on? Dad, I'll get your killer, if its the last thing I do!

Only took me 19 comics to start blasphemy.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Of Scarlet letters and such... by pita 9-06-03

This woman committed adultery, for which, according to the scriptures, she should be stoned to death... Wait!!! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!!! Aw, C'mon, Dad..., I'm trying to make a point here!

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I didn't wait long, my very first comic featured Jesus. It went downhill from there.

They melt in your mouth... by niteowl 6-11-01

*giggle* *snicker* What's your problem, buddy?!?!? Hey....want some M&M's? Some Skittles maybe? Oh, don't EVEN go there....

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Think classy, you'll be classy.