| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 | |  |
| I almost bought a red convertible classic car last week. | |
 | |  |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
| | |
| So this is how you're going to deal with your mid-life crisis, huh? | |
| | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| | |
| Well, I have no wife to divorce and I already date guys half my age. | |
| | |
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for the wishes, my friends.
Oh, and Mandingo, I don't think I'm quite at that point age-wise, but luckily my sense of irony won't allow me to ever dip my toe in that gene pool. Between my uncles, the guys I work with and my one and only time working as a roadie for Jimmy Buffet, I'm certain I'll never slide into the parrot head demographic.
When I turned 21, my roommate and I went to a bar called the Beachcomber. You can guess what kind of crowd that was there. Here's the conversation we had:
Roommate: Look at that old dude hitting on that young blonde.
Me: What old dude hitting on what young blonde?
R: The old dude in the Hawaiian shirt hitting on the young blonde.
M: What old dude in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde?
R: The old dude with a mustache in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde.
M: What old dude with a mustache in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde.
R: The old fat dude with a mustache in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde.
M: What old fat dude with a mustache in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde?
R: The old fat dude with a mustache and pony tail in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde.
M: What old fat dude with a mustache and pony tail in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde?
R: The old fat bald dude with a mustache and pony tail in a Hawaiian shirt hitting on a young blonde.
M: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC!
