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| Nielsen ratings tell us that parents leave for the middle ten minutes to take care of chores, or gin, or the gardener's cock. so we're going to take this time to teach you how the world really works | |
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| you see, everyone's always talking about love. but love is really just limerence, a chemical response that evolved so that fathers would stick around long enough to protect their big-headed human baby | |
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| it lasts 4 years at the most and then it's gone. the real way the world works is power. all those things you've been taught are good and bad are just because someone gained power and made them rules | |
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| our ten minutes is almost up, kids. but remember, power not love, so if you grow up and write a Lifetime movie about the power of love, Mr. Hooper's gonna cut you | |
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