All comics by IB_XC

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by IB_XC
10-11-03
Matt searches for someone to kill.
RARR!! I am so pumped today. I have to kill someone. Anyone you want me to kill, Alex?
WOMEN LOVE ME! *SOB SOB*
I hate it when they beat you to it...
AHHH!!!! THE NAIL IS IN MY HEAD, AHHH!!
You know who that is.
Sucky sucky, five dolla.
I would so kill her if it weren't for the dozens of STDs I would get when the blood splatters.

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Matt receives divine inspiration.
Matt, it is I, Jesus. I have teleported you here because I have heard of your dilemma.
Anyone for me to kill? I'm sure you don't want to taint your holy hands with blood...well, besides what those nails did. Ouch.
Kill senseless amounts of people and the truth shall be revealed. Now go forth and leave me alone.
Mmm...truth...
Back at Henrico
Sucky sucky, five dolla.
This time I will focus my mental powers to kill her without getting those STDs.

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Dammit! I didn't want a bloody explosion!! I sure hope I don't get any STDs.
And so Matt went to kill more people. Senselessly.
Hey Matt, why don't you come join Drama Club?
And hang out with those CFA fags? Never!! *kill*
I am such a better hockey player than you because Swedish people are better than Irish people.
DIE!! *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Next on Matt's list is Robot Eric.
Please don't smash my head against the bus window...again.
Let me think about that one...no. *kill*
Matt I told you, I'm not giving Spencer his dollar back.
Then die. *kill*
Don't give me such a hard time, he said that about himself. I'm not making fun of him. Calm the fuck down, alright?
I am John Thornton, the amazing hairless wonder.
Not anymore. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Matt! I'm stuck in this trash can.
Madhu, you're using up space where people should be putting their trash. For this you must die... *kill*
Because I can't think of anything for Hwi to say.
*stuff in Korean*
I don't speak Dutch or whatever. *kill*
Who can tell me who invented America? Anyone? Buehler?
You will pay for kicking me off the couch. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Sorry Matt, I don't want to talk about Dune with you anymore.
Then you are of no use to me. *kill*
I'm just using Bryson's character since I haven't decided on one of my own.
What do you mean you didn't have time to do your reading logs? YOU HAD 11 DAYS OFF THANKS TO HURRICANE ISABEL.
Call my parents and you die. Actually, just die, alright? *kill*
I do not believe in progress...paradise is a prison...I am so cool because I'm a poet.
This one should've happened a long, long time ago. Bitch. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
You never should've taken an elective with me too. Now your soul belongs to me.
Alright I'm taking it back then. *kill*
Matt's great, he puts the "violent" in "benevolent." Hey, wait...
Yo yo Matt. Rose and Yuliya are mine, word?
Well since I'm going to kill them eventually I might as well let you be with them. *kill*
I can't believe you killed Hwi.
No I didn't. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
I have no earthly idea what Yuliya could say to make someone kill her.
*something that would make Matt want to kill her*
*kill*
Why did people think I had a girlfriend? They ruined it all...man... *angst* *sob sob*
Pain will help that pass, Alex. *kill*
Put away those iBooks.
You've crossed me for the last time, Kroll. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Hey Matt, I heard you were killing everyone. It isn't true, is it?
No. *kill*
I am the ranger from the legendary comic, the Ranger Dance.
The Ranger Dance is above my maturity level and I'm too lame for it. *kill*
Violence is not the answer.
You're right. Violence is the question. Yes is the answer. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
MATT!! *hug*
Hi Japera. *kill*
No Matt, I will not make out with you.
As if I wanted such a thing... *sob sob* *kill*
Save the bay!
What has the bay ever done for me, hurr hurr. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Remember how I told you I could have any girl I wanted?
Yeah, so Yuliya said she would rather go with Taylor than me.
Awww, I'm sorry.
*mental powers*
Do you want to go with me?
Actually I rather enjoy saying "I told you so." I told you so.
Yeah, that would be really cool. :D
It must be the pixy dust.

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
No one likes war more than me, Donald Rumsfeld.
Except for me. Cunt. *kill*
ÃœBERKARINA TO THE RESCUE!
Hey, I can see your panties. *kill*
Shut up or I'll be your governator. It's not a tumuh, I have to get to the copter. I'll be back. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Your clothes, give them to me.
It is with a heavy heart (and a heavy axe) that I do this. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Matt strikes when the Secret Service isn't around.
More war with Iraq!
You already lost my respect by not nuking France back to the Stone Age. *kill*
I'm having a heart attack!
Your name is Dick, ha ha ha. *kill*
Alex is dead, now I'll never get my System of a Down CD that I paid for...
Go bother him in heaven, or hell, or whatever. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Hi, you've never met me before, I'm Meg's older sister Leyna, I go to VCU.
Boring! *kill*
That chain mail is so you.
I hate homos. *kill*
Now Matt, I expect all your work to be completely your own, no plagiarizing.
I just printed the wrong document. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
I am William Poole.
Skank. *kill*
We Scottish can drink ten tahms betta than ya Irish laddies.
Ireland forever! *kill*
Even though you take French you must speaka Spanish.
Voy a matarte ahora. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Matt, you're never going to get laid, by me that is!
Stupid freshman... *kill*
Black Power
Conservatives are the best. *kill*
So now I've killed almost everyone in IB, a couple of random people, and several high-ranking members of the US government. What's next?

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Shit the STDs that I contracted back in Episode II are catching up to me.
Then fall Matt...
Jesus, I killed a bunch of people senselessly as you asked, now the truth will be revealed.
Then follow me...

 

by IB_XC
10-11-03
Here is the truth - heaven is Valhalla.
It's fightin' time!
This is the shittiest ending ever.

 

by IB_XC
10-12-03
If you want to talk about the Warriors' 7-6 loss to Atlee or anything else we've discussed, call me at [number I forgot].
Hey Rome, first time long time. Thanks for the vine man.
No problem, what's on your mind?
I just don't see how the Warriors could lose like that. Usually we lose by a good 20 points at least. Furthermore how do we get smashed by Armstrong and then lose to Atlee by only one?
Either way, Warrior XC is better than football but that makes sense because XC is better than football anyway. That's all I've got to say, I'm out, seeya Rome.
Rack 'em!

 

by IB_XC
10-12-03
The Ramones.
The kids are losing their minds, blitzkrieg bop!
I guess this background looks like the England or something.
The Sex Pistols.
Anarchy fa da UK!!
The Clash. Note the word "the" in the name of all three bands.
Daddy was a bankrobber...

 

by IB_XC
10-12-03
At home with my brother...
Hey Mike, I was just reading the AIM info of that moderator from the MX forums and he had a subprofile section of bumper stickers.
Wow.
My brother doesn't have red hair, and he is really fat.
How do you fix a dish washer?
I don't know, how?
Slap her.
MEGAROOFLES

 

by IB_XC
10-13-03
Mrs. Scott has a word with me after class...
Alex, I don't want to speak too soon here, but...
Oh boy, more unnecessary praise for me.
I almost failed Bio 1 last year and now I have an A.
I've been teaching for 21 years, or maybe 22 years, or maybe 23 years...but in all these years you are the one success story.
Yeah, thanks.
Maybe you could write an essay or something about how this experience has helped you.
Um...what? I work well so I should be rewarded with more work?

 

by IB_XC
10-13-03
More adventures in math class...
...where's Zaid?
Uh...he's having a baby.
LOL
LOL
???
Hey there little guy! Youw so wittle and cute!
Wahhh

 

by IB_XC
10-13-03
Here are some ridiculously easy problems to do of Algebra I content at the very best. You have until 3:15 to do them.
Isn't this class over at 3:15?
Yeah. That ol' Rammy. Hahaha.
This comic is only two panels long.

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
From the beginning...
IB_XC
SirIndianALot
Crash
ApacheROSEpeacock
Yulia
Public service announcement to all IB kids. Do funny stuff because Alex is shit out of ideas.

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
*paints on easel*
Hey Alex. What are you drawing?
This is awful! Although the dragon is masterfully drawn.
I learned from the master - Strong Bad himself.
On the easel...
BURNINATION

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
Hello, I am the nameless wizard here to bring your painting to life.
And why the hell would you want to do that?
Think about this, Alex! This will give you a vague semblance of a plot to follow, a plot which can be an entire series, thus eliminating your need for inspiration for a bit.
I guess you're right. Go ahead, wizard guy.
"Nevermind it was just a fart attack lol"

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
BURNINATION
With the wizard's magic, Trogdor and the horse emerge from the easel, alive.
RARR!!!
Help!!!
What was I thinking when I drew that thing?
Mreoo, mreoo!

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
BURNINATION
HOT! HOT!
If the fire reaches the TNT rocket we're all doomed!

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
Trogdor's fire approaches the rocket...
This was the worst storyline ever.

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
I, Katie, will turn in this assignment and only lose a few points because it was only due earlier this day.
I have my paper, Mrs. Scott...
I'm watering my plants.
*waters* Now I'll take thirty points off because she'll have it in on Monday. I would never accept it if she brought it to me over the weekend but I will take points off for her not doing so!

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
ONE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO THAT'S THE YEAR I GOT HERE WHEN MY DEAR MOTHER'S WATER BLEW NOT REALLY REALIZIN THE PRIZE THAT'S BEEN BEGOT TO HER THE BONA FIDE LO-FI HIGH-OCTANE PHILOSOPHER
GENIUS WITH A PENIS THE FEW THE PROUD THE ME I LIKED ME SO MUCH I HAD TO BUY THE COMPANY SOUL FOR SALE SOLD TO SATAN FOR A HELL OF A LOT OF LUCK
I'M HARD TO COME BY LIKE A STRAIGHT GUY WORKIN AT STARBUCKS I AM THE ANGEL OF DEF WITH MY RHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY TEETER TOTTERING BETWEEN BRILLIANCE AND INSANIT
ONE PART THE FÃœHRER ONE PART THE POPE IT'S THE INEVITABLE RETURN BABY OF THE GREAT WHITE DOPE, CONCLUSIONS YOU DREW PROPORTIONS YOU BLEW LOST SON OF IGGY FALSE BIGGER NOSE THAN ZIGGY TRUE
YES MY NAME IS JIMMY POP NO MY POP'S NAME IS DICK DON'T ADMIT TO KICK IT SLICK YOU THICK DERELICT CRITIC
WRITTEN ON WRITTEN OFF SCOFF CALLIN ME A JOKE I DON'T THINK THAT I'M A SELLOUT BUT I DO ENJOY COKE, ONE PART THE FÃœHRER ONE PART THE POPE IT'S THE INEVITABLE RETURN BABY OF THE GREAT WHITE DOPE

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo'.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbangin' thug that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Rock me Amadeus!
Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.
What? Falco?

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! What it is motherfuckers?
Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?
Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?
No Pac-Man, drugs are bad!
Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!

 

by IB_XC
10-14-03
In this corner, the terror of the Chinese Army, the best damn chicken maker ever - give it up for General Tso!!
And in this corner, a southern gentleman with a cane that he is not afraid to use, America's Chicken Champion, Colonel Harland Sanders!
My superefficient Asian nature will decimate you!
You'll be down fah da count in no tahm. No won bates Kentuckeh Frod Chickin!
10 minutes later, General Tso has won.
Haha! May the Chinese Empire live forever and never succumb to something like communism.
Now how did Ah lose to a young whippasnappa lahk that damn Chahnaman?

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
The following scene could almost literally be put in any part of the Valhalla Calling series. Enjoy.
Hey Matt, like my new Speedosâ„¢?
Aaron, that is fucking disgusting you stupid fat Jew. *kill*

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
I'll tell you a story, believe me it's true - a tale you'd best hope never happens to you: old Spicy McHaggis, how he met his fate. You I can save, but for him it's too late.
"Spicy was big, burly, and strong. His pipes were gigantic and so was his schlong."
"From city to city, running around, always looking for chicks over four hundred pounds."
Way too thin...

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
"One night at the pub a girl caught his eye - big as a house, just the right size! The broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt. Spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt."
"The piper delivered his best pick-up line."
I'd love to water your plant, baby.
"He thought to himself,"
This beast is all mine!

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
"The portly young lady could stand for no more, grabbed his cojones and went for the door."
"They got to her house and dimmed all the lights. Spicy was in for one hell of a night! He said that he loved her, he'd always be true."
But Mr. McHaggis, I've only just met you!
"By now he saw double through his drunken eyes - neither had looks or appropriate size he came to his senses and thought to himself,"
At this time of night I won't find nothing else.

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
"He took off his shirt, she lifted her skirt, they pulled out his unit and started to play. She asked for a glove, he gave her a shove..."
This really isn't something you'd like to see, is it?
"...had baby McHaggis nine months to the day!"
Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'til he dies.
Spicy McHaggis...one hell of a guy!

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
I don't know what you all are talking about, and who drank all my beer?

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
This comic is told BACKWARDS.
Xerox
Putt-Putt
Frisbee
Band-Aid
Let's have a contest to see who can name the most brand-name products or places regularly used as generic names.
Ok.

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
I'm sure Bryson's comeback to the Spicy McHaggis Jig will be halfway decent.
LOL
LOL
Yeah, just like all of his comics!
LOL
LOL

 

by IB_XC
10-15-03
More boredom in math...
Here, you can have the rest of these BonBons, I'm tired of them.
You're not supposed to say it like that. You're supposed to say it like...uh, like...
Ah. Like "Yuliya, I will give you these to show my undying love for you," right? That's what I said.
I thought you said you were tired of them.
No, no. It's actually a big complicated english word, Aimtyredouthes, which means "to show my undying love for you, I give you these." So now you learned a new word in English today!
Oh, yes.

 

by IB_XC
10-16-03
Finally, my revenge on the world that shunned me is happening! The revenge is carried out by me burning things that belonged to people who were mean to me: ex-girlfriends, gym teachers, and bosses.
Crackle.
How can this be? I have accidentally thrown my wallet into the fire. All my credit cards are in there.
Singe.
Burn.
Did he jump into the fire or not? It is a Rashomon-esque mystery.

 

by IB_XC
10-16-03
I bet if your name was Spike, you would feel kind of bad when you took the spikes out of your shoes.
What?! What?!
You just don't get it Bryson!
What?! What?!
HELLO I'M THE PUNCHLINE

 

by IB_XC
10-16-03
YO ESTOY YO ESTOY YO ESTOY
let's throw a love feast

 

by IB_XC
10-17-03
A play by me, Bryson Davis.
The horribly witty title is by me, because Bryson's suggestion was "Comedy" which really sucks.
Act I, Scene I
Mr. Samir, ze UN thinks zat your nuclear program iz a sret to ze rest of ze world.
But Mr. Hussein said for me to say that we are not trying to develop nuclear weapons, that this is a bread factory.
Mr. Samir, there are scientists over there dealing with radioactive plutonium, I don't think that's an ingredient in bread.
But Mr. Hussein said...

 

by IB_XC
10-17-03
Ze UN iz not concerned with ze wishes of Mr. Hussein.
But...
Act I, Scene I
Shut up, imbicile!
Jacques, calm down. Now Mr. Samir, you need to give us a tour of your "bread factory."
But Mr. Hussein said not to let in anyone.

 

by IB_XC
10-17-03
Well you already didn't follow orders, because we are already in!
Oh, uh...oops, well, you need to leave.
We need to inspect the plant, by order of George Bush Senior of the United States and the rest of the UN.
Oh okay, I guess, this way...
Later...
Thank you for the tour, Mr. Samir. We have all the information we need.
To shut you Iraqi idiots down and slap you back to ze Stone Age!

Showing page 3.

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