All comics by atomiclunch

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by atomiclunch
1-02-16
Wow!
That oughta do it. Doc?
Uh, sir. It didn't take. What now?
The rules are clear, he lives, he walks.
So long, Ralph. Try to stay outta trouble this time, eh?
Ay! Taxi!

 

This isn't exactly what I meant when I asked you to "take a little off the back".
by atomiclunch, 1-03-16

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
The Return
Honey, I'm home!
How was your week?
Okay, normally I love Camden this time of the year. Not so much this year, though.
Oh? Why is that?
Warm winter. It's normally under snow so I don't have to look at it.
Ba-dum tish!

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
What a week! My ass hurts and for some reason, I can't feel myself fart. Oh well, I'm just so happy to be home with my beautiful wife!
1. Don't doubt it, you are most DEFINITELY farting. 2. It's just you.
Huh?
It's just you. I don't exist, silly. Remember?
Oh. Yeah. Welp, guess i'll just log on to stripcreator, then. See what's new.

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
Lunch checks stripcreator after a week in Camden...
Oh, that Beeko!
What's this?
"Dude, you won the contest!"
Contest? What contest? I've been out of town.
The apathy contest, ya dipshit. Here, look!

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
What th..? Someone's entered ragu's contest under my name and won...
and started another contest, again under my name... Let's see what THAT contest is about.
Um, you might want to rethink that decision...
Hmm, says to take me down a few notches, to insult and humilia... that's not very nice. Still, people like me, it's not like anyone would enter
There are currently 13 entries.

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
Atomiclunch reads the entries to "his" contest.
I don't know who started this but I guess I'll finish it. It needs to be judged. Let me read on, i'm sure it's just good-natured ribbing, anyway.
"who?" "sucks" "sucks like wirthling" "sucks more than wirthling"
Even a noob weighed in, it was only his fifth comic.
Twice! also his 13th!
I feel, I feel so...
Yeah yeah, snowflake. Who wins?

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
Well all of the entries are good, for what they ARE, I give the win to ZMannZilla for his excoriating, yet biting. yet amusing summarization of "me". I need time to think, now.
Going to the zoo, again? Want me to come with?
No, I think I'll just go by myself.
Dun-Dun-DUN
That's odd. Herb, did you just hear sort of ominous background music?
Not a thing, George. Why?

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
I don't get it. Who would do me like that? I feel beaten up, abused, like, like... someone else, but I can't quite put my finger on who...
Hey Mister! Fydolla for sucky sucky. Oh wait, you sucky sucky without me!
Meanwhile, elsewhere...
*sound of footsteps approaching* Let's see how my plan is playing out...
Eeexcellent. How you like me now, "cartoonist"?!

 

by atomiclunch
1-04-16
Jim, this is 2016, that sort of behavior is no longer acceptable in the workplace. If you get another write up, your employment will have to be terminated, understand?
Yes, Ms. Sanders. It won't happen again.
Very well. You can head back to your station, then.
Ms. Sanders, can I have my meat back?
Not if you're gonna keep beating it in the middle of the Lingerie department, no.
Oh yeah, that's what brought me here...

 

by atomiclunch
1-05-16
Let's see if i have this straight. You come pouring out of my range hood -
It, uh, looked like a chimney...
land in my pot of chicken soup, ruining that, denting my stove, and you say you're Santa, come to give me presents, not a thief...
Right! um, HO!
It's January 5th, you knob!
Look, Blitzen's meth habit cleaned us out last year, can you spot me a few bucks and a plate of cookies?

 

by atomiclunch
1-08-16
ow
The hipsters tried...
urk
groovy
but Gnome Jarts never became a thing.
...little help, please
Looks like you won, Stan. Let's go play Fallout 4.

 

by atomiclunch
1-11-16
I was running at the speed of life
through mornings thoughts and fantasies
Then I saw your eyes at the cross fades
Hey! They're up here, bub!

 

by atomiclunch
1-12-16
*ring* *RING*
Hello? Oh, Hi mom. What's that? Dinner? I'd love to but I can't, tonight.
Seriously, I already have plans with Phrea - What do you mean, "This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me"?
So, what time are we going to your mother's?
Around 6. We need to stop and pick up dessert on the way.

 

by atomiclunch
1-13-16
There are 8 million stories in the naked city...
7,999,999 of them...
are more interesting than this guy's.
Yes! I'm having a sausage mcmuffin WITH egg, today!

 

by atomiclunch
1-14-16
8 million stories, etc. Ragu4u's got the Number 1 spot.
Yes! Suck it, 'lunch!
Hey Rags, we're yours for the night. It's like "A Christmas Carol", only with much more kink!
in the morning, we're gonna fix you breakfast...
and go home. Until next time.
Look, you KNOW you're just dreaming that. You're still on the mat after "The Undertaker" did a piledriver on you.
Fine, kill me before I come to, then! And we never speak of Undertaker's proclivities concerning my hemorrhoids again, EVER!

 

by atomiclunch
1-15-16
YAY! FREEDOM!!
What are you doing? Get back in my crotch right now, Mister!
HA! How would you like to be beaten with giant sausages all day while constantly breathing a vile stench resembling fermented rotten herring?
. . .
Oh, that's right, it doesn't bother YOU, yeast-factory.

 

by atomiclunch
1-15-16
Ding Dong!
Yes? Who is it?
Mr. Chen, it has come to my attention that you are not... sharing... your allotment of table scraps with the... scavengers on this planet. We're not greedy, but we have kids to feed, too. Y'know?
Well, I've been composting more, lately. That's why there's not much to give to the collection crew...
AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!! I'm being de-meated!!!
Indeed. I'm not certain that the last donation, of 15 gallons of DDT, was in good faith. However, no hard feelings, we've left you a large pod out back as a gift. Mrs. Chen seemed eager to unwrap it.
Hell, just for that, I'll double my donations! You prefer your filet mignon fresh or extra rotten?

 

by atomiclunch
1-16-16
You seem troubled, O Mighty One.
Meh, Just got word that our ectoplasm supplier is jacking up his price.
So get another bid.
Can't, he's the only game in town. If we can't get costs down, we're gonna have to rethink the whole afterlife thing.
If only there was a cheaper way.
You rang?!

 

by atomiclunch
1-16-16
And you are?
Mel T. Down, nuclear engineer and salesman. I believe the solution to your problem lies in clean, economical nuclear power!
You want to build a nuke plant in heaven?
Pretty much, sir. We estimate it'll save you 85% in ghost production costs.
The coal guys aren't gonna like it but, hey, fuck 'em if it saves me money! How long to build and start production?
I don't know, you're the God, here. Just pop it into existence.

 

by atomiclunch
1-16-16
At the new Nuke Ghost Plant.
Okay, Mr?
Pyle, Tomic Pyle.
So, how does this work? Testing complete?
The souls of the dead arrive in the chamber behind you and get reformed as "ghosts" here in this chamber.
Testing is done, there were a few early bugs, but we've squashed 'em! Right, Mr. Trump?
You know, moving your lips and not making sound was cute at first but it's gettin' old, so knock it off!

 

by atomiclunch
1-16-16
Let's see this thing work!
Yes sir, we just have to wait for a soul to arri -
*DING*
Here's one, now. Just a sec... YES! SUCCESS!!
Wow. Sparkly. Are they all gonna look like they died in mid lay-up?
AY!

 

by atomiclunch
1-16-16
Six months later...
Sir, how has the plasm-less ghost process been working out?
Very well, we've saved a shit-ton of money, but there's still one niggling little glitch in that they can't be allowed -
- to come into contact with each other...

 

by atomiclunch
1-17-16
Match prep continues...
Undertaker! I know you're in there! Show yourself!
Who are you?
I'm Larry. UT's not here. Can I give him a message?
Why yes, tell him that ragu4u wants to get this show on the roa -
He's not hiding inside the wall, using a puppet! ssshhh! Larry, you're not supposed to tell him!

 

by atomiclunch
1-17-16
I was being honest.
Look, I'm just saying, when you're 35,000 feet in the air and your wife asks if her pants make her butt look big...
It may be the wrong time to say
"No, it's all that meat that makes your butt look big, Bessie! MOOOO!"
In retrospect, I'd have done well not to agree with you. How much farther?
About 8,000 feet I reckon. Look! We're going to land on our offices. Damn, she's good.

 

by atomiclunch
1-18-16
Where's Phreaky?
Tore outta here to see Chuck. I don't get that. What's that schlub got that I don't?
Well, Chen...
Hey Chuck, I'm here! Say, is that a dodo in your pocket.
Gosh no, I'm just happy to see you!

 

by atomiclunch
1-18-16
A Friday the 13th, sometime in the early 60's...
Sure hon', a blowjob sounds a lot better than mowing the lawn.
Meet me upstairs in 5 minutes, I'll lick you cleaner than this plate I've been wiping compulsively for the past hour!
*RRRRRUMMMMBLE!!* *POIT*
Shit. NOW? What do you want?
*zzppsszzzppsstt*
Okay Martha, I have to meet with the leaders of the free world in 10 minutes so let's get crackin'!
Did death stop by again? And can we turn the picture of the two commie chinese girls around, please?

 

by atomiclunch
1-18-16
10 minutes and one money shot later...
Gentleman, sorry for the short notice but Death just paid me a visit to inform me... us... That the process is beginning. Stopping it. Is up to us.
Process?
You mean like the olympics?
Missiles in cuba?
                                  *dun dun DUN*
One of your wife's blowjobs? I mean, the Red Menace?
I mean. The apocalypse!

 

by atomiclunch
1-18-16
Here's all I know: A harbinger of the apocalypse has been delivered on this day. He will umtimately cause the fall of humanity, unless we stop him.
We know not exactly who or where he is at this time but he will become evident WITH time.
Yeah, but who the hell is he supposed to be, anyway? Son of Satan? Tiny Tim? Chuck Barris?
Are you bloody stupid or something? Just a couple panels back I clearly said "A Harbinger of the Fucking Apocalypse"!
                                     Elsewhere...
I wasn't given any details as far as looks go, but i'll bet this guy looks pretty goddamned wicked, red skin, horns, the works!
Did you hear that, dear?

 

by atomiclunch
1-18-16
While the power-men are meeting...
What's that, sweetcheeks?
I thought I heard something outside the door. I'll take a look.
Anything?
Um, honey. Come out here...
Dun-Dun- aww, fuck it, You know!
Groovy!
oo - ee! Pbblllttpppt!

 

by atomiclunch
1-19-16
Back at the meeting...
So, this being is affected by certain emotional and... hormonal... stimuli.
Strong reactions in HIM mean big problems for humanity. We must find him and destroy him!
So, this guy gets angry. What? Boom?
Worse, what happens when he sees his first stag film?
Excellent point! The reality is: This guy gets a boner...
WE'LL be getting fucked!

 

by atomiclunch
1-19-16
A couple months later.
Hey Carol, I need a favor. I know you're nursing little Phreaky and all but could you feed A.L.? He's run me dry, today.
Sure, no problem. I guess it's different since you're inducing. I have plenty! Need some in your coffee? Ha!
Hey Pumpkin, you're gettin' a special treat from "Aunt" Carol, today! Let me just get this top off
GOO! ooooooooo
This is a special report. The President has just been assassinated in Dallas! This is a dark day for America.
And so it begins. I need coffee, shame we're out of milk.

 

by atomiclunch
1-19-16
At Li'l Phreaky's house, circa 1965
So, you want to play "Doctor", and be the patient? Okay! So, Miss Phreaky, can you show me where it hurts?
Yes, Dr. Lunch. It hurts between my legs, right... here!
!
Introducing a NEW way to listen to your music! Buy new, space-age, space-saving 8-track tapes!
George! It's one of those totally fucked up crises that you're always watching for!

 

by atomiclunch
1-19-16
Hey Susie, Would you tell Mr. Disney that I found his original, happy ending for "Old Yeller". Now he can release the movie as he originally envisioned it!
Great, he'll be happy to hear that. Say, wasn't that shot on -
Owie!
Hey Junior, everything okay?
I'm fine. Just accidentally bit the inside of my cheek. Ouch.
- Nitrate film?
Uh, never mind, Susie. Guess the movie will remain as is.

 

by atomiclunch
1-21-16
June 20, 1972: Lunch's House
Mom, dad! I'm going next door to Tommy's house. I'll be back innn.. What's going on in there? Let me look...
OH, OH, OH! YESSSS! HOMMINAHOMMINAHOMMINA! EE EE EE EE!
18 1/2 minutes later...
...
Groovy! Let me get you a towel.
November 21, 1973
No sir, Judge Sirica, we don't have any explanation for that 18 1/2 minute gap in Mr. Nixon's recording. Is that bad?

 

by atomiclunch
1-23-16
Chen, you finished off the pot of coffee I made!
Just trying to keep the EPA out of here. They'd turn this place into a Superfund site if they found that swill!
You're right, that was some pretty bad coffee! I need to practice more.
?

 

by atomiclunch
1-23-16
March 24, 1965
Congratulations, Mrs. Taker, it's a boy! A big, healthy? one. He's so sweet!
I can't wait to say hi to my little schnookums!
Truth is, junior, the coyote never catches the road runner. That's the joke.
Beepbeep! What?
Bouncing baby undertaker.
Pumpkin! I've been waiting 9 whole months! which is probably how long it'll be until I can sit again...
bbbbbllltt! raGOO!4u! coming4u!!

 

by atomiclunch
1-23-16
What beautiful weather we've been having! I'm gonna need more sunscreen!
Brace yourself! Winter is coming!
Yeah, right. I'm bakin' here!
Shit.
Get shoveling, son.

 

by atomiclunch
1-23-16
legend says: that if Chen goes a whole day
Chen, Cliff saw you swat the security bug on the way in this morning.
Great. >sigh<
without an ass kicking...
Look, Cliff...
Don't worry about it, he was an annoying little prick, anyway
that his curse will be lifted.
I-I-I
...could it be?

 

by atomiclunch
1-24-16
So, it seems that if I last a full day without an ass kicking, I'll be free forever! Just one day!
It also seems that I'm immune from them, today. How can I prove it?
Well, you could order lunch...
Hellooo! Earth to Chen! Can I take your order?
Oh, yes. I'll have a 10-piece chicken mcloogies, fries and a mcflint water, extra chewy... Bitch.
That oughta test it, alright.
Yes sir, coming right up! Meet me at the address on the receipt after work for a free sexual encounter. Have a great day, sir!
Yesss!

 

by atomiclunch
1-24-16
Sir, something's amiss.
What is it, Lou?
It's Chen, sir. It's 3 pm local and he hasn't had his ass handed to him ONCE, today!
I thought things seemed unbalanced today. By now he should've been pounded 4 times at least!
If not you, then what's causing this?
Not what, WHO. I have to have a talk with someone.

 

by atomiclunch
1-24-16
"11:55" PM, Chen Local Time
Wow.
That was fantastic.
"11:59:59" PM, Chen Local Time
Why'd you come by so late?
To celebrate never getting my ass kicked again, you homely t-
Meanwhile...
So, just for fun, you set Chen's time 5 minutes ahead? Still, why is he not beaten up?
I basically xanaxed the planet, to keep it from happening. Watch, the good part is coming up!

 

by atomiclunch
1-24-16
"11:59:59.99" Chen Time
- wwwwaaaaaa -
"12:00 A.M." Chen Time. 11:55 Real Time Corrected
- t!
"Xanax off!"
Excuse me? What was that?
Something is decidedly not right, here.

 

by atomiclunch
1-24-16
11:55:30 Real Chen Time
Oh, this party is just getting started, Chen, look behind you...
Why God, why?
*Sound of knuckles cracking*
Swill?!
You don't talk to your own mother that way, you fuck.
Y'know, every time I think I'M the king of evil, I get reminded of who taught me. Well played.
It's so much fun, it's sinful! C'mon, let's go get a malt duck and catch up!

 

by atomiclunch
1-25-16
As the match draws nearer, without ever actually arriving, let's check in at Casa del 4U, where Ragu is training furiously
She's Tight!
OO La La La
Stop This Game!
Yeah Yeah
This Time You Got It
Come On Come On Come On!

 

by atomiclunch
1-25-16
What is it now, Lunch?
I've found a solution! again. I have a friend who needs a few extra bucks since he left the band. He's good at this, trust me!
This "friend", what's his name and will he work for 20 bucks?
You'll have to negotiate the price but it shouldn't be a problem. Now, I'd like you to meet -
I'm so sorry. - A.L.
Bunny Carlos!
I Want You To Want Me...

 

by atomiclunch
1-25-16
At The Undertaker's Training Facility
Okay, we're here. Go get 'im, champ! Send him to Heaven Tonight!
SURRENDER!
POP!
Oh, forgot to tell you. Don't bring up stuff about the band, he gets a little, um, touchy, about it.
What band was he in, anyway?

 

by atomiclunch
1-25-16
You're back! How'd it go?
Well, nothing personal, this is just business, but, The Undertaker had 30 bucks...
Well, that's a pretty Cheap Trick...
I'm Up The Creek...
I'm REALLY gonna enjoy this.

 

by atomiclunch
1-25-16
What's in YOUR wallet?!
Lessee, two Walgreen's receipts, one old, sadly unused prophylactic,
a massage parlor coupon and a phone number for "Trixie", who may or may not be female...
Well, if you don't find $3.87 in there, you ain't getting your chicken mcloogies.
Are there complimentary breadsticks?

 

by atomiclunch
1-26-16
Hey cutie, what say we go back to my place for a nooner?
It's 12:45.
Okay, a 1er, then.
Also, I'm not a girl, I'm Chen.
Is that a yes?

Showing page 6.

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