Vulcan Limerick by kaufman 3-05-11

A human residing on an island off the coast of Cape Cod was endowed with such a lengthy sex organ that he could insert it into his mouth and create a partial vacuum. In an illogical display of emotion, he removed some foreign matter from the underside of his jaw and made the following counterfactual statement: "If a transporter malfunction had caused one of my aural organs to be replaced by female human genitalia, I would be capable of copulation without a partner."

Another Vulcan Limerick by kaufman 3-05-11

Apparently experiencing an extreme case of pon farr, a human female attempted to have sexual relations with a stick of trinitrotoluene. The ensuing explosion and unusually turbulent meteorological conditions caused her remains to be spread over fifteen hundred kilometers. Most fascinating.

One Saturday Night Along Fraternity Row by kaufman 3-02-11

MUBARAK!!! MOAMMAR KHADAFFI! Jeez, I wish those guys would argue about Mideast politics a bit quieter. Actually, I think they're just puking in the bushes.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Another Interactive Strip if it Makes the Front Page by christopher7murphy 6-19-08

Hey? What the heck are you doing? Trying to reach the "read this comic " clicky thing below this panel. You fool! If that gets clicked with you down there, you'll be lost forever. Hello?

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Separating the wheat from the chaff in the random comic by donor stream:

Needs assessment by boorite 2-18-04

BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF MORDOR! How about an army worthy of Arbutus, Maryland? Well, alright. BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF ARBUTUS, MARYLAND! And instead of an army, how about a Microsoft Access database? Alright. BUILD ME A MICROSOFT ACCESS DATABASE WORTHY OF ARBUTUS, MARYLAND! I love this job.

Stickblade Comics #1 (My Robot) by scnbenstein 3-17-07

Hey I-69... You know what I like about you the most? What's that Steve? No matter what I say to you, I know you'll never judge me. Well Steve... I'm programmed not to judge people. It's not in my nature to do so. Just between you and me... I'm 30 years old and I've never had sex before. Are you f***ing kidding me?

Earth And Elsewhere by Stevorama 9-29-09

Listen, if I let you crash here, can I trust you to be a good roommate? Absolutely. I'm quiet as a mouse, I'm clean as a whistle, I shower twice a day, and I eat like a bird. OK, get your stuff, I'll get your room ready. Who knew you could cross your hoof?

Kattgrrl #1 by mattiekitty 4-05-05

So I puked on her bed this morning. You sure that was a good idea? Well... she said she was sick and tired of cleaning up puke off the carpets every day. I figured she'd enjoy the change. I'm outta here..

Pity Sprite

If a fool is alone in the woods, and no one is there hear his Jibba Jabba, does Mr. T still pity him?

by Zimri, 10-26-06

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

the trouble with the lemons by keanna1 3-30-11

let's go to the quarry? ok let's go before somebody notice we not here. look lymie i found a dead body. look promise not to tell anyone about what we saw lastnight i wonder who body that was i found? i dont know. but it's all your fault for wanting to go to the quarry. now all the sudden we find a dead person.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Doctor Comic by Beeko180 5-07-10

Congratulations, you now have a healthy baby boy. But my wife told me she gave birth to a girl. What happened back there? Where to begin...

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

SEXBEARD by mandingo 2-03-10

SEXBEARD WILL SEDUCE YOU sorry, Sexbeard. i'm... uh... a lesbian. yeah, let's go with that. lesbian SEXBEARD WILL SEX YOU UP sorry, Sexbeard. i'm allergic to the bearded's semen SEXBEARD WILL MASTURBATE TO PRETTY IN PINK sorry, Sexbeard.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

The accidental call. by nguyenha 4-06-11

Don't you think that the water in Africa needs some improving, Noah? Excuse me? Who is it calling? Me! Maxie! Noah, can't you reconize me? I've just been away for two d... Ok, ok. Does it sound like whoeverNoahis? NO! I am a 5th grader. Oops. Sorry. B... Wait! I think that water in Africa does need improving. Bye.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Refreshingly straightforward:

Pythagorean theorm by allisonkenna 4-21-11

hey do you know how to do this question? pythagorean theorm? all you do is A2+B2=C2 can you show me how? so you have a triangle and there is A,B,and C. okay! then if A=10 and B=11 you do A2+B2=C2 10+11=C2 100+121=221 The square root of 221 is 14.8 so C=14.8

pythagorean theorm by allisonkenna 4-21-11

wow! that's so easy thanks! how do you find B? so start with a triangle! okay! soo if A=10 and C=11 and B=? okay! so A2+B2=C2 10+B2=11 100+B2=121 100-100=0 121-100=21the aquare root of 21 is 4.9 so C=4.9

PGYUFG\\ by allisonkenna 4-21-11

Ohhh That So Easy! What About A2 First Yo Draw A Triangle! okay! so if A=? and B=10 and C=11 okayyy! A2+B2=C2A2+B

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

For reals, though:

I've Been A Bitch All Week by choadwarrior 5-11-06

I like your tie. Thanks, I like your...uhhhh... ...uhhhhhh... ...taste in men's clothing.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

ArtemisStrong wrote:

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pythagorean theorm by allisonkenna 4-21-11

wow! that's so easy thanks! how do you find B? so start with a triangle! okay! soo if A=10 and C=11 and B=? okay! so A2+B2=C2 10+B2=11 100+B2=121 100-100=0 121-100=21the aquare root of 21 is 4.9 so C=4.9

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evil_d wrote:

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Man, this is so confused.  For starters, sqrt(21) is less than 4.6.  More importantly, what's with the random "100-100=0" in the middle?

But at least that one is finished.  It's like this series is a snapshot of someone giving up on passing their math class.

...I may have just talked myself into rating it "good".

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Hot off the presses:

Easter by lulz 4-24-11

Pleeeaaaase? Pleasepleaseplease? Oh, all right. Brraaaains. Hehehehe.

That's No Urologist! by travisweird 5-03-11

God, my urologist gave me the strangest test! It didn't even seem like a test, it seemed more like a handjob! And he wasn't even dressed like a doctor, he was dressed like a cowboy! And he didn't even use a cup to collect the sample, he- AAHHH that's enough!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

credit by saracallie00 4-29-11

So I know what soft checks are but what are hard checks? Hard checks do effect your inquiries. An example is when your parents file for a credit card. Ok, so I understand the credit report, but what about your credit score? Credit scores are a mathamatical tool created to help a lender evaluate the risk associated with lending a customer money. So how is it calculated? 10% is the types of credit in use, another 10% is pursuit of new credit, 15% is credit history, 30% is outstanding debt, and 35% is payment history.

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what if nigger meant kite

FTC 123: A Little Crazy by boloboffin 12-15-07

Mommy, why am I so "different" from the other little boys? Don't all the other little boys dig up their mom's corpse and mount it in the kitchen? Why, of course, Norman. Now be a good boy and light some more incense.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Wilde party

Have you heard the joke about Dorian Gray? Yeah man, that one never gets old.

by NickNumber, 5-17-11

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Spiritual Support by gglobus 5-18-11

Lord, there is so much sin and suffering in the world. Wars and corruption span the globe. People are starving to death. What can we do to save the world? Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

gays and muslims

I think I mostly have gay friends because I know I can trust them and they have no ulterior motives. I understand completely that is why all my friends are muslims.

by dcomposed, 11-14-09

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Speaking Clock by TheGovernor 5-25-11

Ok so the plan is to assault Troy at 4pm, but what time is it now? Hold on I'll check *I SUMMON CHRONOS, KEEPER OF TIME!!!* At the sound of the tone the time will be exactly 2.43pm ........*Beep* Fuck my life

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Dunna nunna nunna nunna.

by mandingo, 5-31-11

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Tee Hee Shirt by vagrancy 12-03-08

I met a guy yesterday and his shirt said something funny. What did it say? It said, "I give hugs not drugs." That's pretty clever. He also asked for my number and wanted to know if I was free this weekend. Maybe his shirt should've said, "I smoke cocks, not rocks."

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Geoff and Jonny #2 by Marcus_Tee 11-03-10

Geoff! Are you still attached to that weird thing? Yeah. Looks like you got one too. Not really. I got hit by a car. Then what did *I* get hit by?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.