I got this idea during lukket's Comics Gone Bad contest. Remember how in BC they always do a short comic in the beginning and then a larger one for the rest of the strip?

Same thing for this contest.

Your first panel must stand-alone all by itself. The last two panels must be a separate comic.

The two sets of comics (the one-panel comic and the two-panel comic) can either be related:

Foursome by ObiJo 9-05-03

Oh Phillip is it really you! It is, Clara! I was a fool! You can't marry Joseph! I DO love you and I'll never let you out of my sight again! Julie! Julie, I found you! I'm so sorry! I know you'd never cheat on me! I was just blinded by jealousy! I love you! There! I finally said it! I LOVE YOU! SHHHHHH!!!! I think Phillip's about to propose.

Or they can be completely independent:

... by ObiJo 9-06-03

There you are, Bill! I couldn't find my contacts and I've been swimming in circles all day! It's an absolute miracle I haven't been eaten by that pussy-ass shark. KNOCK KNOCK Can I help you? I accidentally threw my frisbee over your fence. Let me go check. It's shaped like a small korean boy and likely telling some OUTRAGEOUS lies.

And like the first comic above shows, the one-panel doesn't *necesarilly* have to be funny by itself - I'll only be juding by the overall effect of the entire strip. (So, whereas the first comic above only gave one laugh, its one laugh may have been more intense than the two laughs of the second.)

I think that's about it. Any questions, let me know.

I'll be judging on Wednesday night, or early Thursday AM.

Good luck. Have fun.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

cc209 by KajunFirefly 9-06-03

What's with the gay scarf? I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

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Dad was flammable

CC209: Boom by Zegota 9-06-03

And that concludes today's episode of "When Children Collide". Tomorrow we'll see what happens when a boy with an abnormally small head collides with a boy who has rather large nostrils. Man, that was scary. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever have the guts to bend over again. That kids head was like totally buried inside the other's... God, I can't bring myself to say it. A pity we didn't have a camera, we could have sent it to "When Children Collide".

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

!+!+@ by crabby 9-06-03

Oh sweet holy shiznit! Your time is up Super Pimp! So then Bob decides he's rather repaint the house himself, but Suzy is worried that while it may be cheaper it will take twice as long. You know what that reminds me. What? Pimpin' ain't easy, Bitch!

CC 209: Stereotypewritten by lukket 9-06-03

Will you contribute to the Red Cross so we can help those in need in the third world countries? Help those rice-eating gooks? No way. Screw them! Have you noticed something's strange with the Red Cross guys these days? Yeah. It's like they're coming on to us. Wait. I know where this strip is heading. It's gonna suck big time! Well. That's where the money is.

CC 209: Some are more equal than others by lukket 9-06-03

We saw lukket's last strip. He sucks. For fi dolla we do too. I'm not comfortable with all this politically incorrect humour. You're right. Everyone should be treated equally and with respect. I aggree wholeheartedly. Aren't you just tired of sexist and racist jokes? Yeah. Sexist jokes are stupid. We all know men are superior to women so why make fun of it?

CC 209: The little difference by lukket 9-06-03

I can't understand how you can say that men are superior to women!? See: You women don't understand anything. My plan didn't work out. What plan? Well. You know, when you're dating you basically spend a lot of money on someone and after a couple of dates you get to go in bed with them. So you offered your date the money in advance? Wonder why that didn't work...

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troelsea at gmail dot com

I don't suppose you'd accept comics where the last panel stands alone? I've got tons of those.

We keep you legal for less.

2-in-1 Blowjobbing Special by akirajim 9-06-03

But who sucks MORE? Which way to Arkansas? Turn onto the next interstate. Thanks, dickbag!

Yep! by akirajim 9-06-03

How many nails does it take to get into Heaven? One for every sin! I am incrementally funnier than you will ever be. HAWHAHAH! He's eatin' a carrot! You rock, Bugs! I still got it.

What about his Mates? by akirajim 9-06-03

So what did you win? Herpes! I'll take Door #1, Jim. Door #1, is it? Ooooh, you have to spend the night with LongDongSilver!

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Nope, it's gotta be first.

I'm a fascist.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 209: Boom... by lukket 9-06-03

Blowjob: When a hitman uses explosives. It's a damn shame that the bank job didn't work out. Yeah. Tell me about bad luck with the explosives. Well. There we were in the vault of the bank with 10 pounds of marzipan when... It was just a figure of speech, dammit!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC 209 : Order now by niteowl 9-06-03

What did you do last night? I watched Squirrels Gone Wild. Hot babes man, hot babes. WOOOOOOOOO! You know, that looks like...HOLY SHIT! How could you? My own daughter in a Girls Gone Wild video! Why are you so mad, Dad? Do I look fat in it?

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 209: The "U.S. Acres" Jim Davis Doesn't Want You to See by habnem 9-06-03

Hey, folks! I just flew in from Muncie, and boy are my... aww, fuck it. Hey there, Equelston. I hear you have a sore throat. Are you feeling okay? All right. I think I'm losing my voice, though. Ah ha! So would you say you're getting... heh heh... would you say you're getting-- If you finish that sentence, I will end you, you hear me? I will fucking end you.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC 209: Detective Fun Pack Comix by kaufman 9-06-03

I look up and see vast numbers of stars. From that I deduce there's almost certainly intelligent life out there. Is that what you mean, Holmes? Cut the crap, Watson. What I deduce is that somebody stole our bloody tent. I'm sure you're wondering why I gathered you all here. It is because I have proof who the murderer is. The killer is in this room as a matter of fact, and that person is ... * THUD * Me.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I haven't really felt like making comics recently but since my last effort managed somehow to get an honourable mention...

CC 209: Got your number! + It says so in the recipe by jes_lawson 9-07-03

*Puff* Think this is the best way to advertise Stripcreator in the UK, 28? Sure 28, running non-stop across country is easy *puff*... or would you prefer we were the ones giving the population blow-jobs for $5? Hmm... That's 5 times I've read it now. I'm sorry but it's there in black and white... Check again. Are you sure? Honestly I don't think eviscerating a talking emu is the best way to start cooking one! Hey, I should know!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 209: Let's drink to that by lukket 9-07-03

Can I buy you a drink, babe? Yeah. I'd like a "Now go bother someone else you old fart" May I take your order? I'd like that drink with Sloe Gin, Vodka, Southern Comfort, Galliano, and Orange Juice But officer, I didn't rape her. She asked for a Long Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall Uh okay. How do you spell consensual?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

I oughta point out visiting the The 118 118 Experience web-site might make my comic funnier to non-UK readers. I've been wanting to do a 118 118 comic for a while.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Pretty Pretty by choadwarrior 9-08-03

So why are you switching salons? I have no idea what those Vietnamese women who work there are saying, but I get the feeling they aren't very nice. No wonder you never get laid, cowboy. Just look at your nails.

CC 209: Umfum's Dizzy by umfumdisi 9-08-03

So, when I rub my wax on your hands, your skin feels smoother. Oooh, that IS nice. Yep, you're only this tall. And your neck's only this wide. Dang, ain't we a pair?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 209: Matt, Rest in Peace by kaufman 9-08-03

You say you have an electric mixer lodged in your rectum? Yes, Matthew, I think I'll be able to remove it. No, Doc, you don't understand. I just want you to plug it in and turn it on. You know the plan. Now that we've broken into the morgue, we find Matt's body and sneak it away. Yeah, but how will we know which one was his? They say he was badly burned. That's why they have toe tags. See that one there? What does it say? It says, "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF THE LAW."

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

You funny bastards.

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What others say about boorite!

CC 209: The Two Married Guys hanging out at the bar by mmyers 9-08-03

I tell you, man, I feel sorry for single guys. They hangout at the bars for awhile, then get a new girlfriend and have to spend the next 6 months at home with them. Yep, being married is where it's at. We get to stay out as late as we want at the bar. If I get home before my wife's asleep, she groans, walks up stairs, and hides in the bathroom until I passout. Hey, I'm married. Allright! So? Well, chicks go crazy for married guys, right? This wedding ring is like catnip to a loose chick. Yeah, um, women usually look for a married guy who has a lot of money and is eager to please. You look like you could barely please one woman, much less two.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC 209: JLo Blow by kaufman 9-08-03

Abdul, I just downloaded a bootleg copy of Police Academy 5 off the internet. Want to come over to my tent and watch it? Can we make it tomorrow? I have a bris to attend this evening. Quick, Marge, get in here. The President's about to announce complete victory in the war on terrorism. My fellow Americans, today every single member of Al Qaeda has blown himself up at NO loss to innocent civilian life. Mr. President, It has recently come to light that Clear Channel secretly bought the Al-Jazeera network and began running Gigli 24/7 on it. Any comment on this concentration of media power? Please, gentlemen, today I only want to talk about our victory over the terrorists.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 209: Robot Bonding Experiences by KungChiFu 9-08-03

Let's play a new game: Let's play war, daddy! Look! I'm with Iraqi Special Forces! "I surrender! I surrender!" You've got to stop downlinking CNN, son. Camp fire conversations: What scares you the most, daddy? Oh... rust, I guess. And maybe hitting end of lifecycle without software support.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Reality/television by boorite 9-08-03

And now your host, Burt Reynolds! Come on down! You're the next contestant on "Who Wants to Shoot Jerry Lewis!" YAY! What a nightmare. That's the last time I eat a sqid and mayonnaise pizza and fall asleep on the Game Show channel. Burt, I'd like to shoot Jerry Lewis BEFORE the quiz round! GAH! Ha ha! Sorry, you have to answer the questions first.

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What others say about boorite!

CC 209: Teh Suck about Parks by KungChiFu 9-08-03

NYAR!! Come back here you little Boy Scout bastard!! I love coming to the park and watching the entertaining wildlife. Dammit, MOVE already.

worse and worse... sorry.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

With due apologies to threebrain.com for stealing the punchline in panel 1 from them:

CC 209: Auditions at teh Sucky Revue by KungChiFu 9-08-03

This is the best you could do?? Koko the Talking Monkey?! Nipple, apple, crap. ...I'm Mr. Stinky, so sing along, if you smoke to much you'll end up...you know, like, dead! Woo! Woo! Next, please.

Just because comics are bad does NOT mean they shouldn't be posted. I've suffered for my art. Now it's your turn.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.