The theme for this CC is pretty straight forward: People trying to sell something. Whether it's a pitch man in a late night TV ad, someone on eBay selling a grilled cheese sandwich with Jesus on it, a poor kid hawking fake jewelry on a street corner, the stereotypical traveling salesman, or even a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your front door...folks pitching their ridiculous junk is familiar to all of us. Your mission in creating your comics is to chronicle the buying and selling process of stuff we don't need, and frankly, don't really want. Bonus points will given for use of the word "mangravy" in your comic(s). Why? Because the word mangravy makes me laugh, and I like to laugh.

Here's some other minor details, a.k.a. rules:
[list]
[*]No limit on how many entries you submit.
[*]Series are allowed and encouraged.
[*]No archived strips.
[*]No Photoshopped entries.
[*]In-jokes are permitted, but be warned that I probably won't find it too funny unless it's something really clever and original.
[/list]

Judging to take place on July 7th, but could be extended if need be.

That's it, folks. Now go and make me laugh...I know you can.

Ready, set...GO!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Here's a fun one to start off the competition. At the very least it will make you think about what it's like to be on the retail end of the deal (anyone else who's worked retail like me will totally relate).

The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part I by OmniMarconi67 7-01-05

Oh boy, my first day on the job! I hope I get a good sale! Just a sec, I'll be right out! Hi, my name's Cid, can I interest you in some-- You selling anal lube? --tupperware...I take it you're not interested... Sorry, I'm in the middle of something, come back later.

The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part II by OmniMarconi67 7-01-05

Note to self: Tupperware is not a good sale in this neighborhood, try something else. State your name and business. Hi, my name's Cid. Say, you look like a man who could use a good set of business cards. What, you think that just because I wear a suit I work in a fancy business? I'm a stay-at-home dad. If you were selling something useful like tupperware, I'd be interested. But you're not, so scat! ...Dammit...

The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part III by OmniMarconi67 7-01-05

Ok...so the first two sales weren't successful. You're doing ok Cid! You have to expect a few weirdos when you're going door-to-door. Sure, the anal lube really caught you off guard, and sure it cost you a sure sale at the next house, but you can do it! Nothing's gonna weird you out anymore! You're going to make a sale no matter what comes out that door and you're not gonna take "no" for an answer! Go away now without saying a word or I'll be splattered with your blood too. ...Starting at the next house!

The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part IV by OmniMarconi67 7-01-05

Why hello little girl! Is your mother or father home? Daddy's here, but... "God dammit you little bitch! I thought I told you to shut that fucking door! You're letting out all the god damn air conditioning! You stupid, whelp of a whore, when I get my hands on you--" But daddy, there's a salesman at the door! No there's not!

The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part V by OmniMarconi67 7-01-05

Sorry it took me so long to answer the door, I'm in the middle of cooking my husband-dinner. Oh, that's nice, what are you making him? That's it, I'm making him. I butchered him this morning. Nothing beats fresh manroast with rich mangravy. So what was it you wanted? Actually...say...I'll bet you're not going to be able to eat all of him tonight, how about some tupperware to store the leftovers? Nah, manroast doesn't keep very long, epecially with mangravy. But you do have a point, do you want to take some with you? Umm...sorry, I'm a vegan...

[Click to view comic: 'The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part VI']
[Click to view comic: 'The Adventures of Cid the Insufferable Salesman--Part VII']

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

CC287: Mangravy by Ewwwww 7-01-05

Hello! Im here to offer you something special: Mangravy! Go on. Thats it. Want some or not? Ok. So I just close my eyes and suck it out this tube, right?

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

cc287 by dcomposed 7-01-05

Hey NBC, it's Ted Danson. I've got an idea for a new reality show. "Danson With The Stars". Hello?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

the infomercial by qwertyuio 7-01-05

Hi I'm Barry Williams. You probably know me best as Greg Brady on the Brady Bunch. And you may remember me from the prog-rock group Emerson, Lake, & Palmer. I don't remember which one I was though.

the infomercial 2 by qwertyuio 7-01-05

We are proud to offer you this amazing collection of classic rock hits. Four cds containing over fifty rock classics! We got 'Money" by Pink Floyd, 'Kashmir' by Led Zeppelin, 'Hotel California' by the Eagles, 'Joker' by Steve Miller, and so much more. The list just goes on and on. I mean where else can you get to hear all these classics? Besides movies, commercials and oldies radio?

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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids. I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me: YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'

Butch and the Insurance Salesman by HCRoyall 7-02-05

You're selling life insurance? Tell me, do YOU subscribe to this policy as well? Of course! Why I wouldn't feel safe that my family would be provided for should somthing--- EEEeyyaaaargrrggh! *slam* *twitch*

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Ring my Sell by cpausti 7-02-05

Yes? Hi, I'm here selling the new Supreme Vacuum Cleaner. It cleans anything, anywhere. Guaranteed. It comes with a free, self-destructing Carson Daly doll. It self destructs when an audience member laughs. Lifetime guarantee.

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

CC287: what if mangravy meant water by mandingo 7-02-05

you may be thinkin why pay for PUR mangravy when I can turn on a faucet and drink down all the mangravy i could ever want. but sir that mangrvy runs throgh old foul pipes and has all kinds of diseases oh i know. most people think "whats the difference? mangravy's mangravy- god sends it pounding down on our heads and we drink it." but i've been drinking the culligan man's mangravy for years but sir, you're taking a chance every time you send the culligan man's mangravy sloshing down your throat. he says his is the purest mangravy but in reality i doubt it's even drinkable mangravy i've raised four kids on nothing but the culligan man's mangravy. my wife, rest her soul, she couldnt swallow enough of it. even mittens here purrs every time her little tongue flicks at his mangravy sir putting his mangravy in your mouth is as bad as suckin for mangravy right from the spout. havent you noticed the stains when a little of his mangravy dribles down your chin and lands on your shirt oh hogwash. i gulp his mangravy by the galon, i make icecubes from it, gargle with it, and when i'm joggin and get too hot I can always find some nice young man who'll squirt my face with his mangravy

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what if nigger meant kite

The Adventures of Larry O'Conor, Door-to-Door Salesman by Hari_Nezumi 7-02-05

OK...loosen up. Don't be nervous. Just sell the product and leave. May I help you? Hello good sir! I'm selling...uh... Selling what? Well, I'm selling bacon grills and well, I guess you wouldn't be interested. Is it that obvious that I'm Jewish?

The Adventures of Larry O'Conor, Door-to-Door Salesman by Hari_Nezumi 7-02-05

Hello good sir! You look like a man who enjoys his cheese, am I right? Nope.

The Adventures of Larry O'Conor, Door-to-Door Salesman by Hari_Nezumi 7-02-05

What? Make this snappy; I'm in the middle of molesting a couple of kids. You're in luck, sir! I'm selling some high quality leather straps! Perfect! I'll take ten! I'm a terrible person.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

CC 287: Woofy, The Door-To-Door Sales Dog by biped 7-02-05

Yes? What do you want? Woof, woof...woof.

CC 287: Woofy, The Door-To-Door Sales Dog 2 by biped 7-02-05

I must make a sale today or I will be fired. This time, I will try being more aggressive. WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! YAAAAAAA!!! MAD DOG!!! MAAAD DOOOG!!! Oh, SHIT -- WHERE?

CC 287: Woofy, The Door-To-Door Sales Dog 3 by biped 7-02-05

This time I will demonstrate the product. Then the customer will see how delicious "Puppy-Krunch Dog Yummies" are. Mmm...mmm... yummy...(drool)

CC 287: Woofy, The Door-To-Door Sales Dog 4 by biped 7-02-05

Call me...? MANGRAVY! A BUCK A LOAD! GETCHER MANGRAVY RIGHT HERE! What the -- where the hell am I?

CC 287: Woofy, The Door-To-Door Sales Dog 5 by biped 7-02-05

So, how'd it go yesterday? This is a new thing for the company, you know...hiring a dog to sell door-to-door. Oh, that's right...you can't talk. Well, maybe if you just acted it out it for me. Call me...?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped you are _ _ _ _ _

if there are spaces above that is where i would have put letters

like f u n n y or g r e a t or b r o w n

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 287: Subtle advertising by mad_matt 7-03-05

Don't you hate it when someone really gets on your nerves? Don't you just wish they were dead, but you can't kill them cos then you'd end up in jail? Do you wish you could talk to someone about it? Well then call Deathwish now and tell us about the person you wish was dead. Our completely free hotline is open 24 hours a day, although as a non-profit organisation, we need your "donations" to keep going, so feel free to donate a couple of hundred thousand (in cash) and who knows, your Deathwish (wink) may come true.

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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

CC 287: CDCUNL by mandingo 7-04-05

hello i'm with the center for disease control. right now we're selling these coupon books filled with busineses that support the CDC not only monetarily but with their time. would you be interested sure, that sounds worthwhile. besides i really need ... ... ... HACHOOOOO! bless you thank you

$1,000 if you got the title before you read this sentence

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what if nigger meant kite

Tv Commercials gone bad. by ghostplease420 7-04-05

What if I told you could make at least a million dollers by sitting on your couch! Tell me more! Well, I have good news! Yes Yes! Geico strikes again I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurence by switching to Geico! ...

It is the truth!

Yet another comic ruined by improper captioning...Ghostplease420, If you would have just left that caption out it would have caught everyone off guard, but by putting it in you give away your punchline and it's not nearly as effective. It was set up very nice, but you screwed-up at the end.

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

CC 287: Monopoly World, part I by mad_matt 7-05-05

Hello sir and welcome to Old Kent Road. While you're here, would you like to buy the street for £60? What? You can buy Old Kent Road. A steal at only £60! £60 for a whole street? In London? Yes, and then if your friends roll the right number on the dice, they'll have to stay the night here and pay you for it! You'll be alright, just stay calm and back away from the crazy man...

I'm actually going to do a whole series of these, but this is the only one relevant to this competition.

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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

CC 287 by habnem 7-05-05

Excuse me, sir. Would you like to buy some candy for my school band? It's only a dollar. Oh God, am I glad to see you. Wait here a sec. As it happens, one of your friends stopped by the office today, and everyone was raving about this candy. I just couldn't help but try it myself and, well, to cut a long story short-- This stuff tastes like crap. Do you take returns?

Check it out! I almost made a joke!

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC 287b

Call now to get all the greatest, cherished classics of Limp Bizkit for only $15.99! Jesus. The price of blank CDs is really going up.

by habnem, 7-05-05

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Well, if menbah's going to grace this CC with his presence, I'd better as well.

Please don't blame any fat transvestite actors for this by kaufman 7-06-05

Care to buy this goody bag? It's got 20 grams of nitrogen, 7 grams of oxygen, and a few assorted other things inside -- CO2, water vapor, you name it! Sounds great. I'll buy one bag for me and one for the missus. Fluffy, look what I bought for u...HEY! My god, Tiger, is that you? What just happened to you? I guess it's true what they say when they say you are what you buy. And don't forget, they also say that two airs is human.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 287 - FleshWound by matclarke 7-06-05

I'm really not interested in your specials on gaping chest wounds. It would really compliment that red shirt. Umm...No thanks. BEEP.Mangravy cleanup aisle 2.BEEP Do you have any Spider-Man underoos? Aisle 3. Young mens apparel.

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obscenity filter is off

CC 287c by habnem 7-06-05

Welcome to Unnervingly Smiley Funeral Home. How can I help you today? Well, my hu-man creator passed away yesterday. I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah, well it turns out his family is all deceased, and I'm his nearest relative. I'm not sure what to do. The first thing you'll want is a burial plot. Eh, I don't know. I'm not really feeling man-gravy.