Welcome to CC 291.

In this contest the rules are:

1) The last words of the strip should be the title of a song by one of the following four politically correct bands: Green Day, Radiohead, R.E.M. or U2
2) The song title should not be used in the context of a song. It should be a natural part of a sentence.

Example:

CC 291: Compliant example by lukket 7-28-05

Damn it's sad to be a child of two solicitors. It can't be that bad, can it? Well... my dad was supposed to be sterile, but apparently it didn't work. They decided to call me "Exhibit A" to make things easier... Well... my parents are filing clerks. That's even worse. What did they call you? Since I'm their first, they decided to call me "Kid A"

Example of non-compliance:

CC 291: Non-compliant example by lukket 7-28-05

We're going to look at the $1,000,000 question now. Yeah. Let's have a look. How is your knowledge of Radiohead? I think I'm their biggest fan ever. Then this question must be easy for you: "On what Radiohead album do you find the song 'Fake Plastic Trees'" ? Dang. I haven't listened to any of their stuff since "Kid A"

I will judge this contest Saturday the 6th of August.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

I hate this comercial:

CC 291: No Honey, Your Ass Always Looks Enormous by attitudechicka 7-28-05

Honey, do these pants make my butt look big? If I stuff this TwixTM bar into my mouth, she won't hear what I'm really saying. Mno homoneh, yourm massm malmays mloomks menormous. Aren't you the sweetest thing?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

CC291: A Carnival of Sorts by UnknownEric 7-28-05

Hey Rain, did you get us that summer job you were talking about? I got us a great job house sitting for some folks in L.A. Cool. In what part of L.A.? South Central. So. Central? Rain! (I'm sorry!)

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I has a flavor!

CC 291: at the restaurant by mandingo 7-28-05

what up, my nigger Raj, i know you're new to our culture, but black people don't like hearing non-blacks call them nigger porch monkey? what? mud people? table for one

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 291: Virtual technology for the rest of us by OmniMarconi67 7-28-05

Hey you! Yes, you! Do you spend all your time on the internet and not enough time in the real world? Are you a loser who couldn't score in a brothel? That's kinda harsh...I mean I'm no Shank... but...well...yeah. If you're in the mood to alleviate your pent-up sexual frustration, look no further! Circuit-Jerks is proud to present our new line of simulated sexual encounters made specifically to your fantasies! Virtual sex?...I dunno...Won't it be kinda lacking in comparison to actual sex? Not at all! We not only give you the exact same sensations, but we also eliminate the middle-man: No foreplay required, no waiting until she feels like it, and no need to cuddle afterward! Wow, it's even better than the real thing!

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

CC 291: A Very Green Dinner. by DragonXero 7-28-05

I'll have the veggie sub and a side of bacon with a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Um, I'll have the ribeye with a glass of red wine and a side of small order of baked potato. Wow, you really know how to order! Well yes. Being able to order well in a restaurant makes me a connoisseur. So what do my choices make me? A walking contradiction.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

CC 291: I hope you have the time of your life... by HCRoyall 7-29-05

Great Hazunda, I offer you this copy of American Idiot as tribute. Impart to me your wisdom. CHAR NOT THE SKIN, FOR IT SHALL TAINT THE FLAVOR OF THE MEAT. AND IT SHALL BE IN THE TENTH MONTH THAT THE FAITHFUL SHALL AWAKEN TO THEIR JUST REWARDS, AND THE SKIES SHALL RAIN WITH THE FRIED FLESH OF POULTRY... Hokay then... Wake me up When September Ends.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Hi folks, now, starring Daffy Duck and Annoying Arnold, we present-CC 291-Don't want to be a Green Day Idiot!

And, Daffy does mention a song in there. Sorry if I stuffed the Amrican Idiot's song. Never really knew the words, I rather only knew Green Day did it.

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Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Uhhhhn. Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Click. Blam. Onomatopoeia.

CC 291: Scenes from a Vampire Café by jes_lawson 7-29-05

I trust the blue steak met with Sir's approval, and the Sangria wasn't too salty? It was all delightful, but I think I'd like some dessert. And what will Sir be having? Sundae! Bloody Sundae!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC291: Automatic For The Penis by UnknownEric 7-29-05

The sidewinder sleeps tonight. Well, I'll see if I can't wake it up. mmfmmf i'm choking! Try not to breathe.

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I has a flavor!

insurgent general - cc291 entry by arbi 7-29-05

not a political commentary just a contest entry sure why not you wanna come back to my yurt, meet my camel hassan? have a pomegranite or a date? american idiot

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't wanna nation under the new media
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subpliminal mind fuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
There that's enough to argue.

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And say hello to the age of paranoia

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
There that's enough to argue.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
There that's enough to argue

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woof

idiot nation should read alien nation. could be other transcription errors.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002OERI0/002-4715325-2440858?v=glance

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woof

CC 291: Ripping off Nora Ephron by umfumdisi 7-29-05

What seems to be the trouble, Ma'am? The woman behind me is so loud that I can't decide what to order. OH GOD!!! THAT IS SOOOOOO GOOD! YES! YES!! YES!!! GIMME MORE, MORE, MORE!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Mmmmmmmmm, yeah. Sorry, that particular dish seems to make Minnie a bit orgasmic. In that case, I'll have whatever Driver 8.

CC 291: The Night the Lights Went Out in Athens by umfumdisi 7-29-05

Okay, put it in right...there. That doesn't feel quite right. Don't worry, that's the right hole. I can't believe we're trying this. It's supposed to be better this way. Well, I literally can't see the point of Gardening At Night.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

It looks like our host has abandoned us.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Huh? Have you run out of snacks already?

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Bring more lil' smokies!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

CC 291: A Tour of My Place by umfumdisi 7-31-05

My fake plastic trees... My iron lung... My subterranean homesick alien... ¿Que?

CC 291: At the Orphanarium by umfumdisi 7-31-05

You're all kind of goofy-looking, but I think I'll take Kid A.

CC 291: Hail to the Grief

Where I end and you begin.

by umfumdisi, 7-31-05

All off the top of my (radio)head. Sorry, I'll quit now.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 291: fun with ninjas and poor translations by NeKo_chan 8-01-05

I can't wait until my foriegn exchange student friend gets here! note: he's speaking in engrish. Hey, Rinji. Wanna go see a movie? As for the movie sounds largely. later... wow, this line for tickets is really long. Are we 'the waiting?'

CC 291: Wake-up Bomb

Hey! How'd the interview at the drug company go? I got the job! I'm The New Test Leper!

by HCRoyall, 8-02-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 291: Green Eggs and REM by kaufman 8-02-05

I am Sam. Sam I am. Would you like green eggs and ham? I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like green eggs and ham. Would you like them here or there? If I must have your food somewhere, I think I'd prefer ... over there! There is a problem, I do fear. Turns out you can't get there from here.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 291: A Beautiful Day by doomedblue 8-03-05

Hi ray. Oh crap. What do you want? Well, I'm here to collect your soul. Why? Will that make you feel better? Make you feel like a BIG MAN? Make you feel more secure? Huh? Huh!? *weep* Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day.

CC 291: Butch Comes A-Courtin' by biped 8-04-05

I'm freshly-bathed... my hair is combed... I'm wearing my best suit... surely my dear Agnes will look upon me with favor tonight. Oh...it's you. Well, at least you coulda zipped up your pants before you rang the doorbell. My god -- I can see your tiny penis. I...I brought you...some flowers...my d-darling... Good, they'll help cover up that horrible stench -- OH MY GOD, IT'S YOU! WHAT'D YOU DO, SHIT IN YOUR PANTS? FUCK! I'M GONNA THROW UP! GGGYYEECCCHH!!! Whatcha readin' there, Butch? "How To Disappear Completely."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ess-Tay-PAY!

...yeah, I broke the rules.

But sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart.

Brad is awesome. by Oriana 5-13-04

Would you loan me $200? Uh, no. It's to travel to someone's house and kick them in the teeth. Oh, in that case, yes definitely.

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What brad thinks of Oriana: sweet my money bell went off