for christmas you get cockloads of presents! for halloween you get enough candy to choke Carnie Wilson's horse! and for easter you get!

hard boiled eggs.

who the fuck thought of this? sounds like something dreamt up by your grandfather while pulling coins out of your ear. fuck him, and fuck your ear

your job for this one is to give Easter a makeover. whether it's giving the easter bunny laser beam eyes, or replacing easter baskets with infidelity, as long as it's cooler than the current version, i'm down

i'll judge this one in about a week, on Easter or the day after. good luck, have fun

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what if nigger meant kite

I want an Easter Keg by Zaster 4-07-09

Forsooth, maiden! Tis I, the Easter Viking. Thank Ostara! I can't wait to dig in to my basket of Easter plunder. Find ye things to your liking, little one? Sweet! Gold rings, jewels... wait, what's this dumb egg doing in here? Oh, that. A cockatrice made its nest in our hold on the way back! Cool!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I don't know if this quite what you had in mind, but I'm on a roll with the penguin thing.

CC423: Easter Penguin by evil_d 4-07-09

So, how did your first year as Easter Penguin go? Great! I hid 9,015,247,081 ice cubes and filled 1,519,822,487 baskets with regurgitated fish! Liz, call the bunny and tell him we'll meet all his contract demands.

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

RCL no. 1974 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-07-09

So, what are you doing for Easter, Stanley? Never mind that, Larry! What the fuck's wrong with mandingo?? How do you mean? Did you read the contest rules for this comic contest? I sense a lot of ANGER he's harboring towards the Easter, as if he got ass-raped by the Easter Bunny when he was a child or something.. That would explain a lot of his comics. Yes, it would.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

0op, I thought you said give Esther a makeover.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Ninja > Bunneh by Zaster 4-08-09

Greetings little one. It is I, the Easter Ninja! Wow! A ninja? That's way cooler than a stupid bunny. Enjoy your Easter basket. Ninja vanish! Wow! This is the most awesome Easter ever, Mom! Be careful with those caltrops, Jason! They're only to be used against persuing enemies.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Easter Egg Hunt

That was the best Easter Egg Hunt EVER.

by skard123, 4-08-09

Merry Christmas!

CC423: Easter 2.0 by biped 4-08-09

Wow! The Easter Bunny's here, and it's--RON JEREMY?!?!? Hiya, Billy. Where's your mom? What...who...(GASP)... UNNH... UNNNHH... UNNNNGGGHHH!!! Hey, where's my fuckin' eggs?!? Did the Easter Bunny come yet, Billy? Yeah...all over Mom's ass.

Easter Of The Dead by biped 10-08-05

Mommy! Let's go pick up my pretty new Easter dress now! I'm sorry, sweetheart...but as long as the flesh-eating zombies are surrounding the house, we can't go anywhere. Boy, Dad, I can't wait to go see the Cubs play today! Sure hope they hit a -- Son, the living dead... remember? Besides, according to ESPN, most of the Cubs are cannibalistic walking corpses by now. Stupid zombies! I HATE the living dead! Me too, Sis! They've totally ruined Easter weekend!

CC423: Captain Chip in: "Fappy Easter" by biped 4-08-09

This is a very special Easter, because we have--a very special surprise guest! Hi, everybody! And now I'll tell you all about the time I defeated the League of Villainy! One day, I was-- Err...aren't you going to...you know..."wank" it for us, uhh, Captain Wanker? I--huh? But I thought...I was under the impression that... that...I...uhh... (SOB) OH, MY GOD!!! THIS IS HORRIBLE!!! NNNFFF... NNNNNFFFF... UUUNNNGGHHH!!! GO, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, GO!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Because it's mandingo.

Salvation by Aylear 4-07-09

33 CE     OPPOSITE          OVER         HYPOTENUSE!     2009 AD Today we commemorate Jesus Christ, who died for our sines.

Will make something less sucky later maybe.

CC423: Fullmetal Clergyman by evil_d 4-09-09

When the Church asked me to help make Easter special again, I thought, what does Easter have that other holidays don't? The answer: resurrection. And so, I'm proud to present the first in a series of resurrections of people we all know, love, and wish hadn't died: Pope John Paul II! Greetings, my children! The Lord's blessing be upon you! Eh? Eh? Oh, come on! I raise a pope from the dead, and all you can do is sit there with your mouths open like you're horrified about something? I told you you should have done Biggie Smalls.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

It's Kosher by choadwarrior 4-09-09

Jesus! You've come back! Yeah, I thought I'd check out the scene this week. You're going to want to stick around as Christians all over the world rejoice in the miracle of Easter. So how do you celebrate the resurrection of the King of the Jews? With Honey Glazed Ham! Dude, that's fucked up.

cc 423 by NooniePuuBunny 4-10-09

Alright! Its the Easter Bunny! Didja bring me an Easter Egg? No, Little Johnny. I have declared myself a god of death. I have come to spill the blood of the innocent, and to drag their souls to burn in torment forever. Where the fuck is my Easter egg?!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

CC423: Chocolate Egg by LittleRocker 4-10-09

My pet bunny layed an egg yesterday. Well, thats what they do. Yea, but it was a chocolate egg. So the bunny layed an egg, then took a huge shit on it. Yes. Do you have any pictures?

Two young men attempt to save Easter. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! by crabby 4-10-09

Dude, I had the fucking craziest dream last night! DUDE! ME TOO! I dreamt that Uncle Lou finally realized he could use Marshall in relief since he doesn't have a scheduled start until thursday, but then he took him out after facing only one batter. Dude, that fucking happened yesterday. Dude... I dreamt I had to save Easter. DUDE!

Two young men attempt to save Easter. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! by crabby 4-10-09

Dude! Easter is when Jesus comes back to life after dying for all of our sins. Dude! Jesus has hero powers? Why doesn't he just kill all those Jews that killed him in the first place. Dude, I don't think that's historically accurate. DUDE! WIKIPEDIA!!!!! DUDE! DUDE!

Two young men attempt to save Easter. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! by crabby 4-10-09

Wikipedia defines Easter as, "is an important annual religious feast in the Christian liturgical year." Dude, that explains all the eggs and bunnies everywhere. But why is there so much chocolate? DUDE! You eat chocolate! DUDE! DUDE!

Two young men attempt to save Easter. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! by crabby 4-10-09

So how do I save Easter? What? In my dream... I saved Easter. Well, how did you save Easter in the dream. Dude, I don;t remember. Dude...

Two young men attempt to save Easter. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! by crabby 4-10-09

I have to figure out how to save Easter. What are you saving it from? I'm not sure. Dude, who would Jesus want to save Easter from? The far left? Dude! Not hip!

I didn;t read any of the rules except for Easter. And the Easter I read was in the title of the thread and not the actual body of the rules, so fuck your rules and have an Easter.

Easter 2.0

Your Search - "Chocolate Eggs" - Yeilded 0 results Awww

by TheGovernor, 4-11-09

Im reminded of that classic Bill Hicks 'bit' on Easter....

"I was over in Australia during easter, which was intersting. Interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit, left chocolate eggs in the night.


Where do you get this shit from you know?

Why those two things you know?

Why not ‘Goldfish left lincoln logs in your sock drawer’?

As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on it's back goin' across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous conotation to it.

'Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer!'.


'That's the story of Jesus'. "

A Holiday for Everyone by Zaster 4-08-04

Mom, what is the meaning of Easter? An anthropomorphic bunny distributes brightly colored hen fruit to herald in Spring. Dad, what is the meaning of Easter? The creator of the universe squeezes himself into a human frame, is executed in a backwater of the Roman Empire, then gets better. Random Holiday Generator, what is the meaning of Easter? Elvis Presley, dressed as a viking, returns from the planet Tatooine to give left-handed children free pineapples.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Two ROBOWHORES talk about their Easter plans. by crabby 4-11-09

I plan first date with a robot man for a brunch Easter sunday at his place. We are going to watch Pan's Labyrinth. He is making you brunch? He claims to be making me a brunch. How much faith do you have, in said man? 0 confidence. OH NO'S!

Two ROBOWHORES talk about their Easter plans. by crabby 4-12-09

Let me give you inside poop... I met Roger, his name is Roger by the way, yuck. I met him online. He asked me to be a friend on Facebook. He said I popped up in his people he might know. How was his profile? Strategically non descriptive. SEXY! Yes, well every year I meet new man on internets and decide to spend Easter fucking them. I'm an Atheist and my parents disowned me due to my beliefs, so I spend this holiday fucking strangers. Parents? BITCH! YOU WAS MADE ON AN ASSEMBLY LINE!

Two ROBOWHORES talk about their Easter plans. by crabby 4-12-09

There is only one problem... Oh No's, please tell me you did not. I did. WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL HIM YOU WERE A ROBOT? I can't tell if Roger is gay or not and am not sure if I would play girl robot or boy robot yet. You are just a really big whore.

Two ROBOWHORES talk about their Easter plans. by crabby 4-12-09

I'm going to just show up, look him in the eye and yell surprise! In the eye? Is Roger a cyclops? He has pink eye, but he says thats ok and he will wear eye patch so I don't catch it. That's sweet! ROGER IS A SWEET HEART! YOU'RE SO LUCKY!

Two ROBOWHORES talk about their Easter plans.(THE AFTERMATH) by crabby 4-12-09

Easter with roger did not go well! What went wrong? He said he no want fight a robot with poor grammar who has only one facial expression that lacks passion. He said you lack pasion? Yeah. Bitch! You can do better than that small dicked bastard anyways!

Fairy Cotton Tails by choadwarrior 4-12-09

Good morning, brother rabbit. Isn't this a glorious Easter Sunday? I suppose. I'm on a mission from my church to talk to people about the Easter Bunny and how those who believe in Him will receive baskets of eggs, chocolate, and joy for eternity! Actually, I'm a vegan...sooo...yeah. In your heart, you must know the Easter Bunny exists. When I found out about that Jesus dude, the Easter Bunny had no chance.

i'm gonna judge this tonight so get those last minute entries in. no worries if they're pulsating balls of rant and hate after having to deal with family members yesterday

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what if nigger meant kite

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

judging time!

honorable mentions to RCCOLAMAN, crabby, Zaster, and ArtemisStrong, any one of which i'd make hot sloppy with till the cops arrived, but in the end i gave the victory and full-dutch rudder honors to

CC423: Captain Chip in: "Fappy Easter" by biped 4-08-09

This is a very special Easter, because we have--a very special surprise guest! Hi, everybody! And now I'll tell you all about the time I defeated the League of Villainy! One day, I was-- Err...aren't you going to...you know..."wank" it for us, uhh, Captain Wanker? I--huh? But I thought...I was under the impression that... that...I...uhh... (SOB) OH, MY GOD!!! THIS IS HORRIBLE!!! NNNFFF... NNNNNFFFF... UUUNNNGGHHH!!! GO, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, GO!!!

congratulations, biped. may all your dreams come true, even the bad ones like the homeless guy made out of salami who keeps chasing you away from the atm

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what if nigger meant kite

Thank you, mandingo.  I realize that this victory will draw much jealousy and hatred toward me, so I have preemptively beefed up security around my mansion and its grounds.  I have hired several extra hulking, surly, rap-star-level bodyguards, and I have cut the food rations for my attack dogs in half so that they now hunger for human flesh.  Just as wearing women's clothing provides happiness for some men, these defensive measures are my comfort.  And knowing that anyone who sets foot on my property will be blown in half with shotguns or eaten alive by my vicious dogs will afford me the peace of mind in which to think of a new contest for everyone to enjoy!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.