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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:
[i]
Dear Wirthling,
As someone who has purchased hardcore snuff films and transgender BDSM videos, you might like to know that The Capture of Trixie von Uberstein, Male Sissy Slut will be released on August 19, 2001, on VHS. For the next few days, you can pre-order your copy at a savings of 27% by following the link below. Act now and get Cum Gargling Asian Circus Midgets IV at no additional cost![/i]

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-16-01 8:09pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

I wasn't sure where to post this. So I figured, when in doubt, go with the colossal geek thread.

The gang's all here by evil_d
8-16-01
I'm glad we could all make it to this picnic. But I think I'd be having more fun if I hadn't gotten my hand stuck in this bear trap.
Well, at least you don't have tree sap gluing various body parts together. I think I'm going to have to amputate something to get out out this.
You know, I don't want to hear one more complaint out of either of you.
Dude, when are we gonna light up the grill? I got a case of the munchies.
...it's like looking into some kind of magic grunge mirror.
Dear god, what have I done?

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-16-01 9:21pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

Let's play "What's Gabe doing with that hand?" by evil_d
8-16-01
Murphy, please tell your friend to take his teeth out of my veins before I die of massive blood loss.
First let me read this list of demands....
Put 'er there, Desc!
That joy buzzer is pretty weak, man.
Now you know what happens to people who don't pay Big Tony what they owe him, huh punk? HUH?
*blurgle burg blululurg*

Fun for the whole family.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-16-01 9:36pm (new)
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descolada99
The Prodigal Son Has Returned

Member Rated:

Yeah!! I'm in streap creator (and damn if I'm not thin!)

This is based on a real event that happened just tonight. My brother is a wierd dude.

Nose Douche (tm) by descolada99
8-16-01
True Story: My brother and I go out drinking
Mmmmm good beer and hot waitresses. This is nice.
Amen! I think I'll droll over that waitress some more while I drink my gin & tonic!
*hack hack cough sputter hack*
Yes, that is an actual quote.
What was that?!
Arghhh the gin & tonic went up my nose.. it burns! I JUST DOUCHED MY NOSE!

---
"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

8-16-01 11:16pm (new)
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descolada99
The Prodigal Son Has Returned

Member Rated:

More wackiness from my brother, this take on Supergirl was inspired by him. Shit, I should get him on here. He's 100 times funnier than me in one night.

Supergirl by descolada99
8-16-01
Welcome to tonight's movie - Supergirl
*cheesy music* *cheesy dialog*
Supergirl? She can super do my laundry!
*cheesy music* *cheesy dialog*
Or super make my babies!

---
"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

8-16-01 11:18pm (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

Terribly obvious, but I wanted to beat everyone else to it...

Sincere apologies to Max Cannon's Red Meat... by DexX
8-17-01
Gaze upon me!
Hey, I wouldn't look when he was talking about sodomy - why should I look now?

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

8-17-01 1:06am (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

So that's what they call dick flicks.

---
What others say about boorite!

8-17-01 9:21am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Balls by kaufman
8-17-01
Hey, I'll trade mine for yours.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

8-17-01 9:48am (new)
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skagg
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

gabe have you ever looked at www.fnerf.com ?

is that where it came from?

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

8-17-01 4:08pm (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

Yknow, Gabe resembles one guy...

He does remind me of someone... by NeoVid
8-17-01
And now, making his way to the ring...
Weighing in at maybe 145 pounds, if you count those Popeye-like forearms...
"STONE DRUNK GABE_BILLINGS!"
Oh, very funny, dumbass.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

8-17-01 4:44pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:
gabe have you ever looked at www.fnerf.com ?

is that where it came from?


Actually it's something stupid a friend of mine from college used to say. I think it's been floating around for years. I have no idea where it came from.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-17-01 6:05pm (new)
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Deisel
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

Yes thou art a collosal geek!
I shall smite you with...um...A toilet seat!!!!!!!!!
Fear my wrath!

---
"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

8-18-01 6:22am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

The New Me by gabe_billings
8-18-01
Who's the letter from?
Brad. He writes, Dear Gabe. Dexx drew your character so you don't need to use the exploding dog stickmen anymore.
Yeah, right. Have you seen that thing? It's a freakish love child of Mr. Clean and Popeye in a polo shirt.
I hear that. You got a pen on you?
So what did it say?
It said, 'Dear Brad. Why don't you go shit in your hat? PS - Get a haircut, hippie.'

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-18-01 6:12pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

quote:
Yes thou art a collosal geek!

---
What others say about boorite!

8-20-01 1:06pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Then Sir Galahad smote Sir Gavin a mighty blow to the head, whereupon Sir Gavin dropped his sword and yielded. Then Sir Gavin bent over to free his opponent's colossal penis, and he began to fellate the victorious Sir Galahad.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-20-01 7:06pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-20-01 7:37pm (new)
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Deisel
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

HAR HAR HAR I Am But a Minion of the Toilet seat Empire! Who Shall Be The King? Be it...Boorite? or be it Gabe_Billings?! You two Shall Decide!

P.s Can I have a second chance?? :_-(

---
"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

8-21-01 11:50am (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

I'm not sure you're done with your first chance yet.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-21-01 12:47pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

I was working on a comic and needed the name for some odd sexual practice. Since I couldn't get ahold of wirthling to ask him, I ended up checking The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sexual Practices and came up with this gem...

Check out Sitophilia.

[i]Sitophilia (sito: food; philia: attachment to) refers to those who use food for sexual purposes. Masturbation aids are found in the form of corn cobs, squash, cucumbers, bananas, sausages, warm melons, liver in a milk carton, or a jar of honey.

Food can be used for a form of flagellation. A regular client of an Oregon bordello during the 1940's would pay to have two prostitutes watch him strip naked, put on high heels, get into a tub of bath water, and walk back and forth. His only request was that they throw oranges at his buttocks as he paced. He would then get out, pick up the oranges, replace them in his paper bag, dress, and leave. (Personal communication.)
[/i]

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-21-01 6:55pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

8-22-01 9:12am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

The power of God is truly wondrous...

ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said , "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

8-22-01 11:46am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Darwinism claims another.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

8-22-01 11:58am (new)
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wirthling
supercalifragilisticexpialadosucks

Member Rated:

Nice story, but it appears to be an urban legend, unfortunately. See here: http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

8-22-01 12:10pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:


I am crest-fallen. I no longer believe in God.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

8-22-01 12:14pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

I don't even have words for how funny that is. Too bad it isn't true. Well, except for all the death and injury and stuff, but you know what I mean. Or maybe you don't.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-22-01 12:17pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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