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Nibor
Junior Comic Technician

Well, here I am. I'm still a little stunned that I actually won. I guess maybe I am funny, after all. At least to descolada. And here's the new contest, with some rules. I've browsed back a few to get an idea of what kind of rules are often in place, and, well, here we go...

1) I want every letter in the alphabet in the strip, somewhere. The title does NOT count, but narration does.
1a) If the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, he'd better have a *really* funny reason for doing it.
2) I like props. So use a "character" from the prop section, even if it's just one of height props.
3) To avoid stifiling the creative geniuses that abound on this board, I'm leaving the topic wide open. Yes, even inside jokes; but be warned, since I haven't been around that long, I'm not likely to find inside jokes as funny. Donkey Sodomy, however, is just about always funny.
3a) No, your comic doesn't have to be about Donkey Sodomy to win.

Okay, that's about it. It's pretty wide open, so no excuses!

I'll close the contest 7pm Thursday, Central Daylight time, as that is what time I'll leave work and drive on home. I'll announce a winner a little later that night.

5-20-01 4:16pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Gee whiz, even though this exercises the alphabet restriction even more stringently than the contest requirements, and it happened to be written nineteen hours before the contest announcement was posted, I think this is just what's needed to start this thing off with a vroom!

Telecrostic by kaufman
5-19-01
Aeroflot Boeing comes down -- Eastern Finland. Gosh, hope I'm just kidding!
Look, Mom! News on!
Peter, quick -- remote. Switch to UHF!
Verboten! Watching Xena. Yow!
Zounds!

Needless to say, the introductory paragraph of this post is pangrammatic as well.

==Ken

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

5-20-01 7:34pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=17356
Comic Contest #31 - The double meaning makes it all literary by evil_d
5-20-01
The quick brown fox jumped into my ass!
I hope to Zeus you didn't just say what I think you just said.
I said, "The quick brown fox jumped into my ass!" I think he's still in there -- want to see?
Kid, if you show me your ass, I'm going to be forced to kick it, fox or no.
His ass.
Damn it, Quick Brown Fox! I've told you before, I just don't think of you that way!

Hey, you were right -- donkey sodomy is just about always funny.

I didn't technically use a prop, but you can pretend the left character in the third panel is a height prop, if it helps me not get disqualified.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

5-20-01 8:02pm (new)
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PoKeE
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Feeble attempt at following Steve's rules. by PoKeE
5-20-01
Supercallifragilisticexpialodocius. Even though the thought of it is something quite atrocious...
That is REALLY ****ing annoying.
Are you dizzy? Mary Poppins is a classic!
If you start into the chimney-sweep song, I'm going to hate you...
Chim-chiminACK
I warned you.

This is very weak, I admit, but it follows the rules...are you allowed to post multiple entries in a contest?

5-20-01 9:25pm (new)
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Jael
Resident Wench

Member Rated:

quote:

This is very weak, I admit, but it follows the rules...are you allowed to post multiple entries in a contest?

Man I loved it!!! But of course I'm not the judge so, ANYWAY

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

5-21-01 5:41am (new)
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Fracture
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Hi all. I do these infrequently and this one intregued me so here is effort.

Comic Contest #31 Nondescript Human Marginal Error by Fracture
5-21-01
So what your telling me is that your zebra likes to play the Xylophone?
Yeah, she's really very good too! You should see her play chopsticks.
I'm finding it difficult to believe that an animal that doesn't have opposable thumbs, or even fingers to speak of, could possibly play an instrument that uses mallets.
Oh, well she doesn't use mallets.
Well, her hooves are just too big, right?
Well, they were at one point. But you would be amazed what you could do with a good belt sander. Now it's just a question of finding her the right shoes.

5-21-01 9:52am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

What the **** have you guys been doing all weekend? When I come back after having been gone for three days, I'd expect to be swamps in mounds of old posts that take me a while to get through. Next time I'm gonna leave my wife a list of good insulting replies to wirthling and ObiJo with instructions to post them occaisonally.

In fact, I should do that anyway. Just in case I mysteriously die, I can live on through put downs for a while.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

5-21-01 3:06pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

Enjoy:

CC #31 - Captain Monosyllabic to the rescue! by ladyjdotnet
5-21-01
Captain Monosyllabic waits in his underground lair, ready to zoom into action at the next call for justice!
ring-ring!
Yo!
Like the Shadow, Captain Monosyllabic also knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...
Quickly! We need help from Captain Monosyllabic! Who's this?
Hmmm!
...he just isn't able to say it.
You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic.
No!

I'm spent.

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

5-21-01 6:25pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Since exactly zero people have griped about multiple entries, I'll inflict this one on you. If the judge DQ's it, well, that's life. --KK

CC31: Missing Persons by kaufman
5-21-01
Hey kids, time for Hide & Seek. Six celebrities have hidden and disguised themselves. Can you identify them? They are:
Are you my daddy?
I just finished my new book. Hope the Zoroastrians like it.
(in no particular order) Elvis Presley, the Lindbergh Baby, D.B. Cooper, Salman Rushdie,
I didn't go left at Bora-Bora. I quietly turned upward instead.
You think we'd hide on a golf course or something?
Amelia Earhart, and The Real Killers of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. Good luck!
If anyone saw my briefcase, could they bring it by? I last saw it in Idaho.
And if it's no problem, bring me a peanut butter and pill sandwich. Thank you very much.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

5-21-01 7:12pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

quote:
quote:

I said, "The quick brown fox jumped into my ass!" I think he's still in there -- want to see?

Good God man, I shouldn't even bother entering. That's one of the funniest comics I've ever read on here.
It's donkey sodomy! You can't resist its lasting humor value!

Personally, I'm partial to the line, "You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic?" Now that's comedy.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

5-21-01 9:40pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

quote:

Personally, I'm partial to the line, "You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic?" Now that's comedy.

Thank you. :)

Would it have been funnier if I'd ended it with a question mark? I figured that the period gave the sentence a more disdainful quality.

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

5-22-01 5:16am (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=17491
CC31 - Nobody likes a prima donna... by DexX
5-22-01
Hey Joe? Hello? Could one of you dumb oxes like, I don't know, maybe shift this thing down a notch? Today? Before I get violent?
Testing... testing... one, two three... Is this plugzzzzhhhh....
Thank you. Now... Testing... testing... one, two three... Is this plugged in?
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee....
Ow! Ow! Feedback!

I quite like this strip, but I would like it more if I could have made it funny. Oh well, at least Bunner will appreciate it... :)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

5-22-01 9:28am (new)
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tafkad
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

This one sucks, but I've been unmotivated and I was mainly trying to get the alphabet.
Missing horse by tafkad
5-22-01
Hey kid, have you seen my horse?
If it was up your ass you'd know where it was!
Whoa...you just zip it, little boy. Where do you get off in talking to me like that? I'll kick your ass all the way to ****ing Mexico
Yeah, dressed like that? Hah, I bet kicking is just one of the things you wanna do to my ass, you queer. Just shut the **** up and leave me alone.
Who's the queer now, punk?
"In other news today, a little boy was found at the Mexico border wearing nothing but a leather thong"

5-22-01 9:46am (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

Ok, guy who entered twice, if you do that, you have to pick out one of your entries as the 'official' one.

ANyway, even though this one doesn't suck like most of mine, it still doesn't have a damn chance against "The quick brown fox jumped in my ass!"

CC 31: Care to alphabet? by NeoVid
5-22-01
Senator Lipservice decides to put an end to conspiracies.
I am changing the order of the alphabet! Did you people know why it's laid out the way it is?
It's an incantation for summoning the great demon Eybeeseadee-ee-efgeeaicheyejay-kayelimenohpeaquare-es-teeyouveedubyuw-exwhyzed! Simply saying the entire thing summons great evil!
Actually, Senator, the only people who pronounce the last letter of the alphabet as "zed" instead of "zee" are the Brits...
...And who cares if they summon evil on themselves? Thanks for telling me, Dr Pedantic!

---
I don't do enough pointless stuff.

5-22-01 1:52pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

Am I the only one who pictures big bird instead of a senator there?

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

5-22-01 2:06pm (new)
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NeoVid
Stripcreator Irregular

Member Rated:

Sesame Street is an integral part of the conspiracy.

Really. I have documents that belonged to the Nine Or Ten Guys Who Secretly Run Everything.

---
I don't do enough pointless stuff.

5-22-01 2:15pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

quote:
quote:

Personally, I'm partial to the line, "You can't pronounce your own name, can you, Captain Monosyllabic?" Now that's comedy.

Thank you. :)

Would it have been funnier if I'd ended it with a question mark? I figured that the period gave the sentence a more disdainful quality.


It does. I'm just a compulsive copy editor. Don't mind me.

And hey, wow, it seems that some people like my entry. Oh, to think of all the time I wasted making strips that didn't involve anatomy or farm animals.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

5-22-01 5:47pm (new)
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Nibor
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

quote:

And hey, wow, it seems that some people like my entry. Oh, to think of all the time I wasted making strips that didn't involve anatomy or farm animals.

I'm telling you, man. Donkey Sodomy. Always funny.

In other news, the entries are looking good so far. But if I ever host another comic contest, I'm picking rules that are easier to verify...sheesh.

"I'm sure there's a k in here somewhere..."

5-22-01 6:27pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Comic Contest 31 - Pushing the limits of craptacularness by BigEvilDan
5-22-01
ABCDEFGHIJKLM NOPQRSTUVWXYZ!
What the hell is wrong with you, Dan?
I haven't entered a comic contest in ages! I need to get something into this one.
So your solution is another totally uncreative comic? Hell, I'm surprised you didn't stick in a donkey sodomy reference.
Even I have my limits...
*sniff* Why won't he call?

This comic sucks worse than even the comics that think they suck. Plus it's been so long since I entered a contest that I might be mistaken for a newbie. That's why I think this comic is a winner.

PS: It is pronounced 'zed'. Silly Americans.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a *****." - Donald B. Jones III

5-22-01 6:32pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

quote:
It does. I'm just a compulsive copy editor. Don't mind me.

I can relate. My boyfriend is very, very sick of me correcting his grammar. The really sad thing is that he's one of the most intelligent people I know. I don't even bother correcting other people's spelling and grammar anymore, but I care that Sam presents himself to be as brilliant as he is.

I've unfortunately become part of the permissiveness that has allowed the language to deteriorate to the degree that it has. I just can't risk an ulcer on people using the wrong "your" anymore.

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

5-22-01 6:39pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Your joking, right? ;p

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a *****." - Donald B. Jones III

5-22-01 7:32pm (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

quote:
In other news, the entries are looking good so far. But if I ever host another comic contest, I'm picking rules that are easier to verify...sheesh.

"I'm sure there's a k in here somewhere..."


You know, you don't have to check for whether a strip follows the rules unless you're going to give it the win. The difference between losing and being disqualified is invisible to the contestants.

And when it comes to that, you don't really have to check then, either. Awarding victory to comics that wave their private parts in the general direction of the contest rules is a longstanding tradition here at the Strip Creator.

Not that I'd have any interest in seeing a rule-breaking strip win this contest. Oh gracious no, not me. I'm as strict as they come.

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

5-22-01 9:47pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

CC31: Peril knows no z. by ObiJo
5-22-01
Oh how the Zuckermans loved the Alphabet Song.
*singing* a, b, c, d, e, f, g
h, i, j, k, lmnop
qrs, tuv
w, x, y and...
FIRE!!!

I made this comic before seeing evil_d's last post. I was so close to omitting the z all together, in the grand tradition evil_d spoke of. But, at last, I cowtowed to the pressure and called the family the Zuckermans instead of the Smiths. *sigh* That sigh was just my emphysema acting up. This next one will be that of despair. *sigh* Yep, there it was.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

5-22-01 10:04pm (new)
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Nibor
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

quote:

You know, you don't have to check for whether a strip follows the rules unless you're going to give it the win. The difference between losing and being disqualified is invisible to the contestants.

Heh. Actually, I'm way ahead of you on that. I just thought the idea of someone going through all the comics posted, singing the alphabet song to himself looking for each letter was kinda funny, so I shared it with all of you.
Now Laugh. Visibly.
In fact.

Rule 4) You must laugh at my jokes.
Rule 4a) Go ahead. Thumb your nose at this one. But don't cry to me when you get DQ'd over it.

5-22-01 10:49pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

Ppppfttttbbblahahahachhheddddgghhaiiijjjaaaakkkkll
llmmmmmuahhahahanfffnffooohohoho.

Ok. I'm okay n-quarharharstustustuhuhuhuvhhehehehe
wahahahaxyzahahaha.

How's that?

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

5-22-01 11:08pm (new)
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