All comics by norielX

This is my profile. Some of the best comix have no words. My comix usually have too many. So that means that they are not some of the best. I have nothing else to add. I hope you enjoy my comix.

thank you.


you kicked my dog.

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Craziest
(Just because I like trying to figure out what his comics are about...)

 

Gabe and Satan's Phone by norielX 5-30-01
11:00 PM: waiting... MAN! She said she was going to call... I'm worried... I ain't ringing, boy. Maybe she's out cheatin' on ya!	After a few minutes with Satan's Phone... Heheh, she's probably polishing some mean ass knob as we speak! She should have called you by now. Heheheh... Dude, you're freakin' right! That dirty cheatin' ass whore! She's probably on all fours, giving it to three guys and a poodle! We're freaking though, that bitch! I hate her! It's so over!	The following morning: Hey baby, sorry I didn't call last night. My mom was in the hospital. Oh, that's alright, I understand... I love you...

 

Guys at a Strip Club by norielX 5-30-01
After a "Dollar Dance," Maura works it... Hey, baby, thanks for the dollar. You've got the most gorgeous eyes. Can I sit with you when I'm done dancing on the stage? Sure, honey, I'm right over there, at that dark corner with the group of pathetic-looking guys. I'll be waiting...

 

Guys at a Strip Club -- The Finished Version.... by norielX 5-30-01
After a "Dollar Dance," Maura works it... Hey baby, thanks for the dollar. You've got the most gorgeous eyes. Can I sit with you when I'm done dancing on the stage? Sure, honey, I'm right over there, at that dark corner with the group of pathetic-looking guys. I'll be waiting...	Tyler's found his dream girl! Oh man, I bet this guy'll want a hand job while his loser buddies watch... He'll buy me a Milwaukee's Best and give me a $2 tip. I'm outta here. Man, of all the guys in here, she want to sit with me! Man, she's gorgeous! After she gives me a hand job, I'll ask her out to dinner at Denny's!	Maura moves on while Tyler waits... Hey baby, thanks for the dollar. You've got the most gorgeous eyes. Can I sit with you when I'm done dancing on the stage? Whoa, you bet! When you put on your knee brace, you take your dancing to another level! Do you watch Babylon 5? I'll be at the table with the floor-length tablecloth.

 

IRC: #sex by norielX 5-30-01
Circa 1997, at any university imaginable, 2:00 am Monday Oooh, baby, I'm gonna take it in my hand, rub it on my face, and then slowly put it in... OH JEEZ, OH JEEZ! This chick is so hot! I am..UGH... this IRC shit is the best! I'm glad I'm in college!	5:00 am, and Roger's still at it Ooohh, lover, take me from behind, pull my hair, and ride me like a wild stallion! This is too much! I need to meet this girl! Where are you from! Dammit, I can't type one-handed!	The source of it all... Yes, baby, that's good... Oh, you're so hard! You can meet me if you promise me your soul! Oh, anything! I love you! I want to marry you! BTW, M or F?

 

IRC: #sex by norielX 5-30-01
Circa 1997, at any university imaginable, 2:00 am Monday Oooh, baby, I'm gonna take it in my hand, rub it on my face, and then slowly put it in... OH JEEZ, OH JEEZ! This chick is so hot! I am..UGH... this IRC shit is the best! I'm glad I'm in college!	5:00 am, and Roger's still at it Ooohh, lover, take me from behind, pull my hair, and ride me like a wild stallion! This is too much! I need to meet this girl! Where are you from! Dammit, I can't type one-handed!	The source of it all... Yes, baby, that's good... Oh, you're so hard! You can meet me if you promise me your soul! Oh, anything! I love you! I want to marry you! ...BTW, M or F?

 

SCAT ATTACK! by norielX 5-30-01
How it all starts... Jon gets a message Jon, check out this gallery of this hot ass chick!!! http://www.scatlover.com/index2.htm Really? That hot, huh? Gotta see this...	The Attack Heheh, that's for sending me that crap the other time. I was at work! A$$hole! OH MY GOD!?!?! What the hell is that? That bastard-- made me open this up with my girlfriend over here! Good one, I should send this off...	The Propagation: Diablo gets a message Yeah mom, be there in a minute! Just gotta check this out real fast! Oh, message from Jon... Diablo, I don't know how they did it, but there's a gallery of Britney Spears, NUDE! www.scatlover.com/index2.htm

 

Gabe Goth by norielX 5-30-01
Gabe spots a "Cookie Cutter" My school is so lame... there's an unoffical uniform. Ambercrombie sweatshirt, Old Navy Shorts, Adidas sneakers... Fad following whores! I need to get some drawstring cargo pants, and some heavy-ass sandals with lug soles...	Yes, this is a different kid I just saw some Khaki's over at the Gap, maybe the guys would like to go get some... Yet another one... I'm glad I'm into Goth... I can be an individual. I can be with people that are individuals. I need to find a concert...	At the concert... Ah, finally I'm with my own people Hey man, bad ass concert, huh?

 

Rube and Satan's Phone by norielX 5-31-01
Anytown, 7:00 PM *RING* Come on, answer me... Oh, a phone call right before dinner, it must be important!	Good evening sir, you've been approved for a Platinum Credit Card! (Talking faster) You'll have a $10,000 limit as long as you have a pulse, and an Introductory APR of 0%... Oooooh, sounds so good, sure! My name is Rube, and my Social Security number is...	Credit Card Headquarters... ...which will increase to 200% the moment you use your card! Oh, hold on, 356, okay, uh-huh... Oh, and I'll be taking your soul the moment you make a late payment. HAHAHAHA! Oh, okay, sure, but only as long as I can have Cash Advances!

 

Kalifornia Energy Krisis Konversation by norielX 5-31-01
Helmut confronts Tex... You Texans are dicking us Kalifornians around! We're going through blackouts while "y'all" keep pumping oil and killing the environment! Huh? How 'ya figure, pardner?	Hey, we do a lot for this country! We need federal money to help us out! Our power companies are bankrupt and "y'all" are price gouging us! Y'all screwed yourselves with your Deregulation, y'all haven't built a powerplant in decades, and y'all want all of us to pay for your electricity! You wanna blow me, too?	Well... heh, heh, I thought you'd never ask... Yeah, I figured -- the way you've been eyeing my crotch this whole time... Like you even care about the blackouts!

 

Helmut Heckles the Ecology Convention by norielX 5-31-01
After a 3 Hour Speech... ..The Earth will burn us all up if we do not stop eating cows, flatulating in public, and driving gas guzzling SUV's!!! Oh come on, you're full of it, and you know it!	Gauntlet is thrown... What do you mean? We're in for armageddon! I back this up with Scientific Data! I am irrefutable! Oh yeah? Tell me, Doc, will it rain in Phoenix, AZ two weeks from now?	Let's get it on!!! Um, well, heh, *AHEM* Anyway, the Ionoshpere will kill us if we continue watching TV on big screens! I'm gonna kick your ass... Yeah? Bring it, you doomsday pencil neck!

 

Palindrome by norielX 5-31-01
Hello Goodbye	HUH? HUH?	Goodbye Hello

 

Why People Stay Fat by norielX 5-31-01
Pre-Workout Intentions Oh man, I need to quit drinking and work off this gut! Let's hit the gym, I'm gonna change my life, starting with this body! Oh hell yeah! I'm gonna get really buff and defined, then I'm gonna get a Harley! I know where the gym is, let's go!	At the Gym... Oh my God! Look how huge those muscle are! I need to add some weights so I don't embarrass myself here! I don't think an extra 20 lbs will hurt... You're not kidding, there's girlies here that curl more than I can squat! You wanna spot me while I bench press this 10 lb dumbell? UGH!!	Two Days Later... So, wanna hit the gym tonight? I am so sore...I hear you're supposed to have a couple of days rest, so maybe I'll skip tonight and go drinking... Like hell I'm going back! I pushed way too much! Look at me, my arm's stuck in this ridiculous position, and my eye keeps twitching from all the strain! Maybe I'll go back next week.

 

Poppin' Tabs - Indecent Proposal by norielX 5-31-01
Hey man, I got a couple tabs of X, you wanna try it out? WHAT!?! Come on man, that shit's suppose to make you horny as hell! With just the two of us, we'll be locked in a '69 scarfing down Snausages!	hmm... yeah...	Okay...so I'm taking one...what the hell.. Hey, gimme the other, I hope my mom doesn't come home soon, this stuff only lasts 20 minutes, right?

 

Euro vs. Yank by norielX 5-31-01
You Americans think you are so great... We Euros have culture, we are thin... You all are just FAT! America, Land of the FAT, oooh-la-la... Heh, you all have outrageous gas prices, the reason you're skinny is because food costs so damn much, your women don't shave, and nobody over there knows what soap is!	*grumble* *grumble*	I am moving to America, because chicks dig this accent... oooh-la-la... Like hell you are, I'll meet you at the airport with a burning cross!

 

Just Another Day In Jerusalem... by norielX 5-31-01
Jakob: door-to-door salesman Hi there, I'm going door to door, selling these exquisite Torahs... oh my, I'm sorry... You infidel, you have knocked on my door and tried to convert me to Judaism! The Koran is the only book I read! Honey, give me my TNT vest!	I know women only "LALALA" No, really sir, this was a mistake, I'll just go on my way... No, I cannot excuse this, I am on a Jihad! Allah, let me purge this country of these interlopers! LALALALALALALALAL!	Are you fucking happy now? Infidel! You still speak to me! For Allah, I will dislodge my femur and knock your jaw off!

 

When It's Gone, It's... by norielX 6-01-01
Diablo and Jon, on the street Jon, isn't that Chloe, your ex? Chloe?! I hate that bitch! All she ever did was cause me grief! She cheated on me, and stole my credit cards! 'To the curb, Bitch!	Who's that? Who's moving on? What's it been, a week? She didn't waste any time getting over you. What the...who is that guy? Bitch...I hope he gives her an STD.	Lonely...I'm Mr. Lonely... Hey-- oh, forget it, you're hopless... I...must have...her...I love her, I know she still loves me...Chloe...

 

Games Girls Play at Clubs...Or, Why Clubbing is Hell by norielX 6-03-01
After serious flirting, Roger decides to make his move... Hey, uh, after all the times you've grabbed my ass and bit my neck, did you want to dance? Oh, wow, um, actually, (hee hee, I love this part) I'm uh, actually here with someone...	Oh, really? Who's that? HER NON-DANCING BOYFRIEND WHO'S HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK AND IS ITCHING TO KICK THE ASS OF ANYONE MY GIRL FLIRTS WITH!!! NOW I MUST TURN YOUR SCROTUM INTO A BOWTIE!	Roger lies in a pool of blood, alcohol, and cigarette butts, as the trap is set again... I'll grab this one's crotch, but make sure you get here faster! That last one actually talked to me! Okay, okay, I'll just go to the bar and have some more tequilla shots...

 

At the Auto Show by norielX 6-03-01
Wow, Jon, I am impressed that you were able to get your Civic into this show. Yeah, well when you've put in as much work as I have, it feels good to be included.	But have you seen all the cars? There's Ferrari's, classic racing Vettes, Lambo's, F1 cars --you sure your car's good enough? What? Oh, I'll be fine...The show producers knew what they were doing when they chose my car as The Representative Import Compact Example...	The R.I.C.E, huh? What have you done to your car? Well, on Mom's car I've color-coordinated the interior and exterior lighting, floor mats, and wires! On top of that, I've installed the stickers of all the aftermarket companies I could find...

 

Sometimes, You Can Coordinate Too Much... by norielX 6-04-01
Phillip and Jon, loading up the bike rack... Oh, wow, you have the same bike I do... Yeah, I liked your bike so much, I got one myself. Kinda cool, eh? Like we're on a team!	Uh yeah, a team of homo's! Don't you realize that when we drive around with matching bikes on a VW Beetle, people will think we're married!? Oh shit, really? Then I'll drive the beetle...	Heh, FUCK THAT! I can kick your ass, I'll be the butch... Fine, as long as I get to hold your hand!!!

 

Kettle, Black: CC34 Entry by norielX 6-04-01
Eeewww...that is so gross! You've got Bitch Tits! Oh yeah, get a load of the Camel Toe you're sporting!	Hmph! Boy Mamms, Guy Knockers! heh, Chick Scrots...Whore Rocks...	...Man Boobs...so there... I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.'

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