This contest is about time. You should use time as a plot device, subject or whatever.

I will judge this contest Sunday the 15th of august at 10pm GMT. I will then choose three favourites, and habnem will decide which one wins (it could even be habnem!)

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC 253: Dog Shit 1 by biped 8-07-04

With my new time machine, you can go back in time and meet a dinosaur! Oh, boy! I would like to meet a dinosaur. Mom, I will not be home for awhile. I am going to go back in time and meet a dinosaur. You MEET IT -- it EATS YOU! That's what I'M worried about! Mom's right -- I may get eaten by a dinosaur. This may be the last time I ever see my home, and sleep in my own bed. So what? Billions of people have died throughout the ages. To history, you're just a worthless piece of dog shit.

CC 253: Dog Shit 2 by biped 8-07-04

Are you ready, Bobby? Yes. I realize now that I'm just a worthless piece of dog shit, so if a dinosaur eats me then history won't even care. What the fuck was he talking about? RAAAAAR!!!!!! Go ahead, eat me. History won't care.

CC 253: Dog Shit 3 by biped 8-07-04

RAA -- huh? Eat me. Did you hear that? The creature told Bo-Bo to eat him. But...no one WANTS to be eaten. My mind... my...mind... Everything we know is wrong. We must all jump off a cliff and die. It's THE END...THE END OF EVERYTHING. YAAAAAA!!!!!

CC 253: Dog Shit 4 by biped 8-07-04

They're all dead. But at least I got to meet a dinosaur. Well! You met a dinosaur, and you didn't get eaten! No, the dinosaurs all committed suicide. Do you think history cares that I caused all the dinosaurs to kill themselves? Nah. To history, they were all dog shit, too. Everything's dog shit to history.

CC 253: Dog Shit 5 by biped 8-07-04

And now, Bobby, you can tell the class what YOU did over summer vacation. Well, I went back in time, and -- Oh, by the way, Bobby, I hope you don't mind if I turn into a dinosaur at some point during your presentation. Go ahead. We're all just dog shit, anyway. RAA -- huh? Eat me.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 253: The Story of Mr. Feetforhands by kaufman 8-08-04

Hollywood, 1929 I've decided to go with Mickey. I'm very sorry, but YOU'RE FIRED. But Mr. Disney, you're making a big mistake. Who in their right mind would want to buy a wristwatch with a MOUSE on it? I can't believe he chose that stupid mouse. I'm the best wristwatch model in the land. He just kicked me out because I'm UGLY. Excuse me, did you say you were a wristwatch model? I've been looking high and low for someone's face to put on a watch. How'd you like to work for me? Really? You mean it? Oh, believe me, you won't regret it, Mr. uh... The name's Dali. Salvador Dali.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The Adventures of Evel Knievel, Time Traveler by lmharmon 8-08-04

Forgive me, I just jumped the Grand Canyon on my bike, and went through some kind of dimensional door into the future... Mm-hmmm. Where am I? What year is it? Sweet Jesus, is this a nuclear war in the future? World War Three? It's the fourth of July & you're in the hospital run by the Sisters of Mercy. Now get back into your wheelchair and watch the nice fireworks before I stick a gross of firecrackers down your unitard.

CC 253: Armchair Philosophy. by Gabu 8-08-04

You know, life is a lot like time travel. No, wait, no it isn't.

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Blue is the color of victory.

Time And Time Again - Part 1 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

Whoa! Dave, I'm you from the future. I've got a very important warning for you. Dude, we've got a time machine? How many chicks have you picked up with it? I'd forgotten how stupid I was back then. I bet we could get, like, two of them.

Time And Time Again - Part 2 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

Look, just shut up for a minute and listen. I could do that, or since I'm younger, I could beat you up and take the time machine for myself. Hey! Ow! What about--? In retrospect, I should have seen this coming.

Time And Time Again - Part 3 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

David, I'm you from the far future. I've come with a warning. Your younger self is going to beat you up and-- Oh. Sorry. Un-fucking-believable.

Time And Time Again - Part 4 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

Look, we don't have much time. There's no telling what damage that moron could do with a time machine. Relax. It's a complex piece of technology from a civilization he's never seen. I doubt he'll even be able to figure it out. Well... Did you just hear something? Let me tell you, finding out that you've reached your intellectual peak is much less satisfying than one would think.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Time And Time Again - Part 5 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

So you travelled back in time and used your knowledge of the future to set yourself up as ruler? That's right. I'm the king of the world. Don't you realize how dangerous that was? Even the tiniest change could have an incredible impact. But I created a utopia. I've singlehandedly eliminated disease, famine, war... No war, eh? So you'd be defenseless if I beat you up and take back my time machine? In retrospect, I should have seen this coming.

Time And Time Again - Part 6 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

All right, I got the time machine. Now I just need to travel back and prevent this whole thing from happening. Yes, but how do you stop him from taking it long enough to deliver the message? I think I've got an idea. You know that costume shop on 3rd street? Dave, I'm you from the future. I've got a very important warning for you. Holy fuck!

Time And Time Again - Part 7 by BigEvilDan 8-09-04

All right, Doc. I've delivered the message. I've tracked the changes to the timeline. It seems you were successful in your attempts to prevent Pauly Shore from making another movie. I felt a little odd lecturing my younger self on changing the past while doing exactly that. Well, you managed to do it without any side effects. Well, just one. Personally, I'd call it an improvement.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 253: When a Man Makes Love to a Woman ... by kaufman 8-10-04

Excuse me, miss, how would you like to have a good time? Wait a minute, I recognize you, you're Ahmet Naharopian, the famed Indian male prostitute. I hear you're great. Tell me, what are your rates? $2500 for a three minute quickie, $750 for 20 minutes, and $3.50 for the full hour. Whoa, what a bargain! I think I'll take a full hour with you. That's incredible. You really had a date with Ahmet Naharopian! But one thing I don't get, why that inverted price scale? Three words: Bed of nails.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC-timeline by xxausrottenxx 8-10-04

remember that one time when you hammered a nail in your head? five minutes earlier ow! fuck! fuck!  no

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xx( o Y o. )xx

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC253: Time (Clock of the Heart) by UnknownEric 8-11-04

You just spend 30 seconds waiting for a joke that didn't happen, sucker.

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I has a flavor!

CC 253: But Wouldn't Some Genesis have Been More Sensible? by kaufman 8-11-04

God created the entire earth in six days. That doesn't seem that hard for God to have done. Let me put it this way: He made the land and the seas and the fish and the birds ... ... and while doing that, God could only play Stairway to Heaven 1073 times before he finished. Whoaaaaaaaa.

CC 253: You've Got Me on My Knees! by kaufman 8-11-04

Maybe God could have several stereos hooked up, so he could have a bunch of different Stairway to Heavens playing at once. Yes, I suppose that's possible. Though he might have trouble deciding which one to air-guitar to. But hold on, there's a problem. What is it now? Wasn't God more of a Clapton fan? Fine! 1214 Laylas, and boom, the world is done. Happy?

CC 253: Rock and Rule by kaufman 8-11-04

I think I've got it. The Big Guy sets up all sorts of high-end digital equipment, and simultaneously runs... 1073 Stairways, 1214 Laylas, 370 Dark Stars, and 22,539 Her Majesties. Right? Right. Not to mention 1460 Bohemian Rhapsodies and over 520 In-A-Gadda-Da-Vidas. And you're telling me that after all that, he only rested for ONE day? That would take some serious miracles! You're right. He must have also had 2864 Tears of a Clowns running.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 253: Untitled by Rabid_Weasle 8-11-04

Know what time it is? No, what? Time to not win the Comic Comptetion! lewl! lewl!

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Poop.

666.41 by DrMorton 7-12-07

Hey, guys! I say, we go for the 400,000th strip on Stripcreator! Somebody come up with a good joke fast! Omg! Omg! Omg! I can´t think of anything! Count me out, folks. I don´t want to have anything to do with you freaks. Grrr? I got one! Also I´m not dead. Here it comes: The Pope, a mobster and a headless horse walk into a barbershop to get their hair cut. The Pope says to the horse: ... Fuck! Time is up!

yet!

Oprah after the joke by qwertyuio 8-12-04

You know I don't find that funny at all you jackass. Like I give a rat's ass what you think. I'm a guy. Please exit the premises. Yeah whatever, screw all of you. Damn that Oprah joke you made was hilarious. On her own show even.

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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids. I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me: YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'

CC 253: Pre-dicked 1 by biped 8-15-04

I am Predicto, the great and wise seer of all things. I can predict the future. Really? Yes, really. Did you predict this?

CC 253: Pre-dicked 2 by biped 8-15-04

I am the ghost of Predicto, the great and wise seer of all things. BEGONE, SPIRIT! GET THEE HENCE BACK TO THE NETHER WORLD! I hate it when the fucking bus is late.

CC 253: Pre-dicked 3 by biped 8-15-04

I am the twin brother of Predicto, the great and wise -- This is my bus. Oh. Um...does it go to Jefferson Avenue, by any chance? Yes, it does. Heh...it wasn't really my bus. And it goes in the opposite direction of Jefferson Avenue.

CC 253: Pre-dicked 4 by biped 8-15-04

I am Predicto, Jr. I believe you killed my father with a shotgun earlier today. Yeah...I sorta did it to prove that he wasn't really all that good at predicting things. WRONG! He was EVERY BIT as good at predicting things as I, MYSELF --

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Motherfucker by qwertyuio 8-15-04

Marty goes back in time thirty years. Oh shit! That's mom! Hey cutie, wanna come party with me? Well ok. Groovy! My parents are out of town, so we can get really wild. I'm sure nothing will happen. But she's so freakin hot when she's not 300lbs. shit