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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » Comic Cup XII: Semi-Finals Match

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graykane
as if i knew what i was talking about

Member Rated:

CCXII: Grand Opening Of "God's Lonely Eggs" by graykane
1-20-05
In this week's news of the weird, local hippie Sky Imafag Rainbow temporarily closed his organic market & reopened to sell specifically the eggs that appear to be hatching.
That's right, John. It seems that the word "fertilized" should have appeared in more than the home garden section.
Thank you for the lame pun, Cindy. Realizing the mistake, Sky reopened his store under the name God's Lonely Eggs in an effort to find the future chicks a good home.
If you're looking for chicks, then Sky's the limit at God's Lonely Eggs.
God's Lonely Eggs? That sounds like your ovaries, Cindy. What are you, 38? No wonder you jumped at the "Let's Hang the Fertilized Sign Over Here" joke.
After CRACKING that one, you won't have access to MY EGGS, & whether or not you go to Sky's store, I doubt you'll be getting any CHICKS without having to pay. Speaking of Sky, let's go to the weather.

CCXII: "Niggardly" In Good Graces, Early Returns by graykane
1-20-05
Since each word in the dictionary went public, until today stock in the word "niggardly" has steadily declined since its Initial Public Offering. Standing with me is the new CEO of Niggardly, Jim Quin
Yes. Thanks for having me, Phil. Strangely enough, this Scandinavian word somehow became wrongly associated with a racial slur. Yet, in English the word appears even before the Wycliffe Bible of 1384.
Very interesting, Mr. Quin. So, the word has no affiliation with any racial slur?
Gosh no. The Old Norse "hnøgger" meaning "stingy" couldn't even be applied to another race due to the lack of racial diversity. Today it gets confused with another word taken from the French "nègre.
The publicly traded company Niggardly hires Jim Quin to save its image's integrity. If you're an investor, can you say, "'Niggardly' In Good Graces, Early Returns"? Now back to you, John.
Yo, Quin. What's up with the threads? You's a Niggardly nigger in more ways than one tonight, my man.

CCXII: Greasy Rectums In Mean Youths by graykane
1-21-05
I can't even say it. I'm going to have to give you the lead chair for this one.
A new study identifies greasy rectums in mean youths. The University of Indiana compiled random samples from a 150 youths living in trailers in the woods only to discover that
Cindy takes the lead chair from John
100% of those with criminal records had greasy rectums. Scientists believe that the aggressive youths tend to tense up more than nonviolent youths, thereby creating a greasy discharge.
I've been smelling aggression from you all these years and had no idea.
Cindy returns the lead chair to John
Thank you, Cindy. At times like these, I'm grateful for your expertise. And now, time for the winning lottery numbers. Cindy, go ahead & lift your skirt & shoot out the pingpong balls.
The first winning lottery number is...

CCXII: China Hijacks Eazy E's Sexual Energy by graykane
1-21-05
Infatuated with rap culture & intrigued by rumors of Eazy's E's immense Rigor-Mortis-infected penis, China ordered a glass coffin for the late rapper as well as funded an Asian tour for the deceased.
In Thailand, after somehow discovering that upon jerking the Rigor-Mortis-infected penis it ejaculates puss, the Thai people refuse to return the body & have proclaimed Eazy E one of their gods.
Cindy, I'm standing here amidst a group of Thai school children. I don't know where the body is, but the children seem overly fascinated with my microphone. I must admit, I'm afraid for my life.

CCXII: FLAT-CHESTED LESBIANS by graykane
1-22-05
Flying Little Acrobats Teach China Hurting Eazy's Stiff Thomas Ends Diplomacy Leaving Europe Sinfully Biased In Arms Negotiation Standoff
Cindy, do you want to report this one?
I ain't touching this with a ten-foot pole.
We know you've severed the penis.
¡î Ç廪ÃÀÔº¼Ó
Give us Eazy E's penis & nobody gets hurt.

---
i want to piss on you

1-22-05 12:49am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

Since Spankling is obviously not thrilled to be resurrected, I am going to pass his mantle onto dcomposed. To dcomposed I will give a few extra days to come up with his entries. Like, until Friday. It is now Sunday here in North America.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

1-23-05 10:00am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

But that was one of my better entries!

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

1-24-05 5:38pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

If dcomposed does not come up with an entry by Friday, I will begin taking nominations to bring back someone else.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

1-25-05 6:27am (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

i will.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

1-25-05 7:21am (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

hey don't kick me out k

i'm writing comics on a newspaper and i will have them done by the end of friday (today)

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

1-28-05 7:45am (new)
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graykane
as if i knew what i was talking about

Member Rated:

ooooh, you're strategizing!!!

ladies and gentlemen, something tells me i'm about to get my ass kicked.

sincerely and without hard feelings as i approach my gruesome demise-- soon to be testicularly plucked in my prime like an apple from a tree beneath a cool Washington breeze-- i tip my hat to the great state of stripcreator as well as to this venerable albeit decomposed founding father who stands before me with an axe in his hand and a smirk that says that he unforgivingly will not tell a lie because by God he enjoys inflicting the pain of God's Truth on another man's scrotum. ta-ta, i bid you all farewell. grendel has had an accident, so may you all.

yours truly,

the inevitably late and perhaps never great
graykane
of the massachusetts graykanes

---
i want to piss on you

1-28-05 8:44am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Spankling

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

1-28-05 10:03am (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

Comic Cup XII: Giamatti Offers Other Gents Large Erections by dcomposed
1-28-05
Hi, I'm Paul Giamatti. Since none of my movies are ever nominated for any awards, I decided to take up a new job.
I am now working as a recruter for a company who aims to help fight erectile dysfunction with a new, untested method.
So who wants to make a sex tape with Paris Hilton?
Comic Cup XII: Newly Inducted Greens Give Everyone Rabies by dcomposed
1-28-05
Now that the Green Party is officially in power, things are going to change around here.
For starters, everyone in America will be given Rabies.
Then we will hold a vote to release the antidote. We may decide to listen to the votes in twenty years.

Comic Cup XII: Gang Raid In Mayoral Yacht by dcomposed
1-28-05
Earlier this week police found three hundred gang members in Belfast Lord Mayor Tom Ekin's private yacht.
When asked to comment the Lord Mayor had to say
"My wife kept yelling at me to buy her a bloody boat, so I did".
Cup XII: Candidate Holds Elaborate Electorate Sex Exposition by dcomposed
1-28-05
I can count on your votes now, right?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

1-28-05 11:43pm (new)
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dcomposed
C3H5N3O9

Member Rated:

Comic Cup XII: First Lady Assists Terrorism by dcomposed
1-28-05
Hey is George around?
He's on the toilet.
Oh. It's Bin Laden. He said let me ship a million crates of edible diapers to America but I wanted to check with him again before I send them. I guess I'll call back later.
No it'll be okay. Just send them and I'll tell the post office to let it go through.
XII: Clinton Hesitates Eating Scabies Tainted Edible Diapers by dcomposed
1-28-05
Edibled diapers, eh? Where'd you get them?
They're imported from Afghanistan.
Isn't that where terrorists come from?
No I think that's where camels come from.
Hmm. Well I do enjoy camel toes, maybe I'll like their diapers too.
Cup XII: Limbaugh Eats Scabies Because It's Also Nutritious by dcomposed
1-28-05
We have traced the Scabies epidemic back to a shipment of edible diapers from Afghanistan. The diapers were allowed in the country by a lack of judgement and those involved will be tied up and spanked
There will be no more Scabies in America.
Damn!
Hey Osama! It's Rush! I need a fix!

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

1-28-05 11:44pm (new)
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flickguy
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Yet another tough choice.

I think graykane just squeaks by.

**stomp**

Damned mouse.

---
This is not my empire.

1-31-05 7:56am (new)
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EvilZak
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

ba da dah dah dah... i'm lovin dcomposed

---
AFROMANS MOVE

1-31-05 11:39am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

Please vote, people. I'll call this match next time I'm back online, which may be in 2007.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

1-31-05 2:37pm (new)
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CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

dcomposed

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

1-31-05 3:08pm (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

candykane.

1-31-05 3:37pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

dcom

By the way, is Chubby's vote going to count or no? He's not officially entered in this contest.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

1-31-05 5:06pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

The kane mutiny.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

1-31-05 6:43pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

Spankling!

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

1-31-05 8:23pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

graykane

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

1-31-05 8:41pm (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

If I were blind, I'd have a graykane to help me find my way around. Don't play tricks on me and get a purple one just because I don't know the difference.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

1-31-05 9:16pm (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

Big Daddy GrayKane

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

2-01-05 7:36am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

CHUBBY, are you in this competition? Unless you signed up for it, you can't vote.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

2-04-05 5:56am (new)
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umfumdisi
Forum comment:

Member Rated:

dcom kills bugs dead

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

2-09-05 9:16pm (new)
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Ewwwww
Dickmouth.

Member Rated:

I vote for Dcom.

PS: Dont listen to me, I eat babies.

---
"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

2-10-05 6:44am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

This has gone on long enough. I win. Game over.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

2-10-05 8:45pm (new)
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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » Comic Cup XII: Semi-Finals Match


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