All comics by DH-01

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by DH-01
1-13-02
My mom's coming to visit, Suk. Be nice to her, alright?
Sure thing.
She doesn't do anal, right?
Stop asking me that.
Awww, you can share.

 

by DH-01
1-14-02
We'll always be together, Suk, no matter what.
I know.
Now go away and never come back.

 

by DH-01
1-14-02
They say we leave the world the same way we came into it.
That's a big, fat lie.
I wasn't born with a squash wedged up my crack.

 

by DH-01
1-15-02
Needs more sodomy. Anal rape! Mansex! Colon destruction!
Diamond-studded cockring! BLING-BLIIIING!
You're not funny.
AH-HAH! SO we *do* have something in common!
It would seem so!

 

by DH-01
1-16-02
To explain the rules of this contest, here's your hosts: Fuk and Suk, the Sick-Ass Bunnies!
... er...
... okay, that didn't work... CUT!
It's time for... um... sodomy?
Why is it always sodomy with you?! Can't we just cuddle sometimes?! Huh?! HUH?!

 

by DH-01
1-16-02
Alright, guys, one more shot. Places.... ACTION!
...
Yes, Fuk?
... can't fight it...
C'mon, spit it out!
God DAMMIT. CUTCUTCUT!
SODOMY!
... I give up.

 

by DH-01
1-16-02
Alright, I'll just have to do this myself, with the aid of my lovely assistant, NeoVid.
Nnnnn.
Well, the rules be simple, yo. You get to make a strip with a Burma Shave-like style to it... a jingle comic, if you will.
DH, this idea is totally fucked, and you know it.
Vidders, do I have to show you my cockring again?
... I'll be good.

 

by DH-01
1-17-02
It is a dark time in the Stripcreator land. Evil has raised its ugly head, and the comickers cower in fear, begging... *PLEADING* for a hero... and now... their prayers have been answered!
I am... CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN PACKAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
... and this is my youthful sidekick BUTT BOY!
Captain Package touches me in the bad place.

 

by DH-01
1-17-02
Sucky sucky!
Fi' dolla'!
Look! The EXPLOSION background! It's...
I am... CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN PACKAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!
The Captain tosses my salad.
There will be no lame default asiangirl comics as long as I'm on the job!
I love you, Captain.

 

by DH-01
1-19-02
RARRRRR! TOBOR IS ABOUT TO GENERATE GRAVITONS IN YOUR COLON!
What the fuck are you taking about?
Look! The EXPLOSION background! It's...
I am... CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAIN PACKAAAAAAAAAAGE!
Can I be Dr. Smith anf you be Will Robinson this time, Captain?
Anal sex and physics jokes do not mix! They are meant to be enjoyed separately, in the comfort of one's home, lair or dungeon!
I love you, Captain.

 

by DH-01
1-21-02
Dammit all... now I'll never be pretty enough for the big dance... oh, I would do anything... ANYTHING!!!
"Anything?"
YES, ANYTHING!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH BOYYYYYYYYYEEEEE!!!
... my only hope for a happy ending is... Flava Flav?! What the *FUCK*.
Damn right, hotass. Now you wanna deal with the Flav-o-Godfather or not?

 

by DH-01
1-24-02
Mwahahahah! I am making comics that insult those who dare not recognize my complete and flawless sense of humor!
*make a comic*
... so lonely.

 

by DH-01
1-24-02
Well? I'm waiting for the thinly-veiled insult, DH-01.
Sorry hon, but you're not worth my jokes anymore.

 

by DH-01
1-26-02
... man, the Enron thing's getting nastier by the day.
Please. I just wonder how they got all those guys to ignore all the red they were in.
Well, you can ask Tobor. He was their financial advisor before he got the CFO job here at Stripcreator.
... he was?
"Damn, that explains EVERYTHING."
Either ignore Enron's glaring debt, or Tobor will have to make a deposit in the First Rectal Bank of YOU.
... debt? I don't see any debt! Do you?!

 

by DH-01
1-29-02
... so I said "What the fuck are you talking about?!"... and then I stabbed him in the gloyven!
...fzzzzrk...
... Fuxxxie?!
KER-TRANS-FORM!
... Decepticons! Oooh, are you going to tie me up and use me until the break of dawn?
... actually, no, I wanted your booze, but the sex sounds like a good idea, too! Now where's that rope...

 

by DH-01
1-31-02
To save you all the trouble, we'll skip the stupid monochrome shit and get to the story... so! The Wicked Witch of the East goes SPLAT.
*SPLAT!*
... and then...
... this not my secret dungeon. Where am I?
... this... is the... land of Oz... mmm, nice and tight.
... five seconds, and I get an eyeful of midget necrophilia. Lovely world, this Oz.
Sorry, ma'am, hard to pass up a piece of tight witchrump like that. Anyway...

 

by DH-01
1-31-02
Sachiko talks with the Munchkins!
Alright, let me get this straight. I just crushed some witch with my house, and now I'm to be treated like a queen.
Yep! We Munchkins have been under the Wicked Witch's control for ages! We thank you for your help!
So, if I asked you all to line up and give me rimjobs, you'd do it?
For you *and* your loyal, faithful pet, as well!
... but I don't have a pet.
Yes you do, actually. And, come to think of it, getting rimmed sounds rather nice...

 

by DH-01
2-04-02
Cpl. Apathy, no longer caring about even vaguely caring, hops a cab...
...I mean, hell, Redundant's gonna get himself killed and I don't even really care. You understand where I'm coming from, right?
Yeah, yeah... hey, fella? Do you prefer barbeque or honey mustard sauce?
Why should I care?! What does this have to do with... oh, nevermind. And stop feeling my breasts. I don't swing that way... or any way, for that matter.
We will feast well tonight, my precious...
... while Redundant fails miserably.
... I can't believe it's not WORKING! This is horribly, disturbingly and astoundingly unnerving and demoralizing!
Oooh, baby! After I rob the bank, wanna go out and get our scrotums stapled?

 

by DH-01
4-12-02
Hi, DH.
Hey, Vid.
How's life been?
Pretty shitty, but I'll manage.
... oh, that reminds me. Where the fuck have you been?
Should I start with the anal bead incident or skip that part?

 

by DH-01
4-12-02
And now a word from DH-01.
I've had some time to think, and I do believe it's time to clean up my act a bit. Therefore I make the following resolutions.
I resolve to make far fewer crude anal-related jokes and to try and attempt actual true humor.
... technically, I'm resolving to suck horribly, but here's to hoping.
Hey, boss? We're starting a pool to see how long it'll take for you to crack and make a sodomy joke. Just to letcha know.

 

by DH-01
4-12-02
AAAAAAAAAAAIEAAAAAAAAEAAAIIEAIIEIAIELALALALALAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
IEAEEEEELALA--
Damn, bitch, we know you can shred metal with your voice... you can STOP SINGING NOW. JESUS.
But I thought everyone loved my singing...
Nope. They just like staring at your tits.

 

by DH-01
4-18-02
Ten...
... well, I guess it's time to go out with a bang, huh?
pfffft. hE dOEsn't hAvE thE bAlls tO gEt rId Of Us. wE'rE lIkE smAck, bAby. EAsy tO stArt, hArd tO stOp.
Nine...
Time to make at it like bunnies, I guess.
But I'm still sore from last night...
Eight...
[ It thinks that it has found true peace. Or a true piece of ass, either or. ]
RARRRRRRRR! Tobor want you to put your finger up there again!

 

by DH-01
4-18-02
Seven...
Do you remember this part of Revelation, Cthulhu-dear? I seem to have misplaced my omniscience.
Christ, what a fuck-up.
Six...
I barely got a chance to extol the virtues of pure, innocent love to all those who adore CAPTAIN PACKAAAAAAAAGE!
I love you, Captain!
Five...
... so lonely.

 

by DH-01
4-18-02
Four...
Holy shit, he's really gonna do it!
dUdE, whAt thE fUck Is wrOng wIth yOU?! yOU nEEd Us As An OUtlEt fOr yOUr rEprEssEd pErvErsIOns!
Three...
The pain... ends.... SOON!
Two...
You FOOL! Change me back to normal before I am anally violated by this throbbing tentacle!
I like girls.

 

by DH-01
4-18-02
One...
So... this is it, hon. Game over. Sad that it's gotta end this way. Any last requests?
cAn I jIzz All OvEr yOU whIlE yOU lIE dOwn And prEtEnd yOU'rE AslEEp?
... zero.
... eh, what the hell. Go for it.
lOvE yOU, bAbEs.

 

by DH-01
4-18-02
I hate fags and queers... but I don't really! You might be a fag and that's kay, but you're gonna get punked by someone like me... or not like me!
And ME? A fag like you?! (which I do not hate, let it be known) HAH! I scoff at the very thought of someone trying to stick their wang up my ass!
I'm sorry. I am weak.
Awwww... Tobor no get cuddly-wuddly?

 

by DH-01
5-02-02
DH-01 looks for sodomy-free ideas!
Sodomy.
... no.
Sodomy.
No.
DH-01 needs sodomy-free friends, first!
Sodomy.
NO!

 

by DH-01
5-02-02
DH-01 consults SC.com's CFO for aid!
See, you have to first relax and feel that deep within you are capable of creating an idea most beautiful...
... and then, when this idea is born, you must coddle and cuddle and love it so, like a wee little babe in your arms...
... before you RAM your porkblade of creativity right up its receptive rectal ring of humor and pump it like your dad taught you!
I am never asking you for advice again. EVER.

 

by DH-01
5-02-02
... no ideas. Damn, this sucks.
Suddenly, momentary insanity strikes!
AAAAAAAGH!
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGE, LITTLE BOY?
... y-yes. I like sausage.
I'm sure you do, my child. Will twenty dollars be enough?

 

by DH-01
5-02-02
... alright. How did I get arrested with that priest, and HOW did I end up with this intense burning sensation in my ass?
Suddenly... BEAR STRIKES!
AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!
YOU LIKE THE SAUSAGE!
YES! YES! I like the sausage! Are you HAPPY NOW?!
Sorry, DH, you're not my type. Now c'mon.

 

by DH-01
5-03-02
Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon I SMELL BACON!
No, what this is is a special doggie treat processed to look and smell like bacon. But it's actually horse nipples, asses and teats.
THAT! What you're holding in your hand! In that plastic thingie! It smells like BACON!
Nonono... this isn't a bag of bacon, it's a bag of bacon-like dog snacks made by the Choke-o-Pup company. Their name stands for quality and frequent vet visits!
It's BACOOOOOOOOON!
... just eat the fucking treat already. Stupid dog.

 

by DH-01
9-04-02
... so there I was, trapped in the Ninth Ring, fighting off the horde of angry soccer moms wiht nothing more than a wet sponge, a six-pack of Zima and my trusty army of trained attack lesbians...
... but finally, *FINALLY*, I found my way back to the hallowed halls of SC.com! I have returned to claim my rightful place as a comic GOD! What say you?!
Um... I don't wanna seem like I'm a wet blanket or anything, but... erm. Who in the hairy, blood-encrusted Tobor-caliber and extremely rough (yet oddly satisfying) anal fuck are you again?
... oh, never mind. I'm gonna go put on my Pink Donkey cosplay outfit and sulk.

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
Um... hey. Nice too metcha. My name's Dizzy, I'm a divorced mother of one adorably little sweetie of a girl, and I'm an upwardly mobile office manager.
Yeah! Mommy's the best!
Seeing that Funfun Time has *finally* run its course, I would at least be nice enough to show the lot of you what the cast members are up to.
Even Uncle Tobor?
... okaaaaaaay, mebbe not *all* of the former cast.
He said he wanted to take me around to some parks in his unmarked white van today! Isn't that neat?

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
Hey, handsome. Do you by chance have an abnormally large penis?
... er. Um, n-no, I don't.
Shit. Oh well. Sorry for wasting your time.
No problem.
... the *fuck* just happened?

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
Hey there. By any chance, do you have an abnormally large penis?
Actually, yes. Yes, I do.
That's nice. Well, seeya later.
Alright. Seeya.
... alright, I missed something right there.

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
So, how was school today, honey? Didja learn anything special in class?
I learned that boys have a penis!
... er. I think it's a little too early for you to be learning about that sort of thing, dear.
Well, that's what the principal called what I kicked when Robby tried to kiss me during recess. Mommy, do all boys cry like little babies when you kick them in the penis?
Actually, yes. Yes, they do.
Oooooh, so *that's* what happened to Daddy!

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
... Leslie, I can no longer deny my needs. I need dick.
No you don't, and you know it... geez, you think that Mr. Slimeball that you kicked to curb would make you a lesbian or something.
Women don't have dicks. That is perhaps the only thing stopping me.
You act as if there aren't... other means to sate your blazing urges, Dizzy.
Ah, good old-fashioned cold, vibrating comfort. Of course you'd be well-versed in that field, Queen Strap-On.
At least they don't bitch at you when you tell it you have a headache.

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
Well, helloooooo, cutie. What brings an innocent little boy like you to a loud, sweaty club-type place like this?
I'm looking for a nice lady to maybe share a few drinks and chat with.
Shame, that... I could offer you a long night of wet and sticky monkeylove, but it seems that you're looking for something more lasting.
So, whaddaya say?
Blessed by thy name, O Lord.

 

by DH-01
9-06-02
Good morning, Les! Isn't it just the most wonderful day today? I feel like singing!
Judging by the stupid grin on your face and the way you're swaggering, I'd say you felt alot of things last night, Diz.
Aw, come on, Leslie... I was gentle with him. I'm sure he's back in his dorm now, telling his friends about the hot older chick that sucked him dry.
There's a problem there, Dizzy. Your concept of gentle... isn't.
And after the handcuffs... and t-t-then... s-she put her tongue up my... up m-m-my... oh, God, I feel dirty again! GET THE BLEACH! MUST CLEANSE MYSELF!
Dude, chill. Take a deep breath, sit down... and gimme this chick's digits!

 

by DH-01
9-11-02
Wow, they're right. Porn actually is kinda bearable when you turn down the volume.

 

by DH-01
9-11-02
Oh, my! Isn't that the Loin Blaster Deluxe with Real Squirting Lovelove Action(tm)?
Yep, Leslie. Just got it in today. As usual, I was thinking of you when I ordered it.
... I must have this device. I'll take three!
Certainly. I'll make sure to throw in the free bottle of Joy Jelly.
Oh, if only all of my were customers were like her...
Excuse me, sir, but do you have a shoehorn? I can't quite seem to remove something from my orifice.

 

by DH-01
9-13-02
Meet Dizzy's boss, Mr. Zebub!
Sir, I hate to sound like I'm overly concerned, but I think that you've sold your soul to some dark power.
Nonsense! I've maintained this company for the last thou--twenty years with hard work, determination and well-planned alliances.
Did any of those alliances require your employees to drink from the Morale Chalice every week?
No, that just happens to be a friendly, non-demonic means of building team spirit! It has nothing to do with some far-fetched notion as blood-oaths with Grand CEO Asmodeus.
Then explain the bleeding pentagram on your hand.
A frighteningly artistic bacterial infection.

 

by DH-01
9-13-02
Anyway, what club are we gonna hit tonight? The Sexhole, or Daddy's Little Secret?
Either or... hey, Diz? You always seem to have time to go out... who's babysitting your daughter?
... anyway, that was how Tobor and your mommy came to know each other. Wanna go out for pizza now? Tobor got his van fixed!
Yaaaaaaaaay! You're the bestest babysitter ever, Uncle Tobor!
He's cheap, he loves kids, and *damn*, but he is a good lay.
... um, Dizzy? I know I shouldn't be asking you this, but what in the monkey HELL is wrong with you?!

 

by DH-01
9-13-02
Hey, Tobor! It's Dizzy... how's Hope treatin' ya tonight?
Really good. Tobor's pleased to say that she's been quite the little angel. Hope's asleep now.
That's my girl... so, did you two go out for pizza like you said you wanted to?
Tobor changed his mind and called out instead. Gave the delivery boy a big tip, too.
... Tobor, sweetie? We're gonna run out of delivery boys willing to come to my house if you keep doing that.
Sorry, Dizz, but Tobor can't help it. Tobor likes a man in uniform.

 

by DH-01
9-14-02
This has not happened to me. Yet.
Right... I'd like to buy this CD.
... that's Testament, sir.
I am well aware of the fact. I would still like to buy this CD.
...
If I say that my skin tone is due to a horrible childhood paint factory incident, would you stop staring at me dumbly?
...

 

by DH-01
9-18-02
So I just said to the lady, "Don't worry, I'm a master in tantric and metaphysical techniques! Hell, I can even project a ki representation of my erection!"
Hehheh!
Just what the fuck were you talking about again?

 

by DH-01
9-18-02
Oh, how are the weekly employee reports going, Dizzy?
Well, it looks like Carter, Bishop and de la Rosa have no-showed for the past week, so they're canned.
Ah, those three. They were fat, beefy and useless, anyway. I've already dealt with them personally, and I'll be hiring more overweight individuals at a later time. Quotas to fill and all that.
Huh. I just wonder why it's always the larger employees that quit around this time... discrimination, maybe?
No, I'm sure their fate guided them elsewhere. Oh, do make sure to announce that we're having our monthly Employee Bar-B-Q soon! We're gonna have lots of ground beef and ribs this time around!
.... is it too late for me to say that I'm a militant vegan?

 

by DH-01
9-18-02
I understand you find me attractive, and I appreciate your compliment... anyway, I'm gonna go find a really hot guy and gargle his semen. Wanna join me?
...
Dizzy learned "Rabid Dyke Deterrent"!
Oh, now that was just too easy.

 

by DH-01
9-18-02
...but right now 'm gonna go find a really hot guy and gargle his semen. Wanna join me?
Oh, really? Sure, I'd love to!
... w-wuh?
Dizzy learned "Attract Gay Guypals"!
I heard that you're a literal dick magnet, and I decided to hang around you to see if I'd get lucky.
... I dunno whether to feel flattered or kinda dirty.

 

by DH-01
9-18-02
DH-01 gets gifts for the occasion!
Here you go, bloke... your own birthday picture by yours truly!
It's beautiful! I love the way you depicted Tobor assaulting me as I bend over to grab the soap! Such class!
... some gifts are... quaint and quirky...
Gotcha some spraypaint until the forumuser character's made for ya. Hope it's the right color.
... "Mandingo Man Brown". Were I not amused by the color's name, I would violate you mercilessly with the can.
... others are quite unexpected!
... for you, just this one time.
Wow. So it *is* true!

Showing page 4.

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