All comics by fpd

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by fpd
1-22-05
You had no right! You can't just throw me in as part of a bribe! Couldn't you just persaude him with your mind control powers?
He's not your average mortal, sis. Each of the seven deadly sins has such a hold on him, I could not appeal to him through only one.
But he's really just a kid. I would be guilty of statutory rape if I gave him what he wants.
So? We're already guilty of bribery. What's a little statutory rape on top of that?
Gosh, when you put it that way, it really makes a lot of sense. Say, you're not trying to mind control me, are you?
Would I do that to my own sister? If you can't trust your own family, who can you trust?

 

by fpd
1-22-05
Am I ever glad you're here, Kapitän Übel. The Cheeseburglar ran off with my Gleefully Gay Meal.
Have no fear, Mule. I am the world's greatest superhero, and I will stop that dastardly Cheeseburglar.
Cheeseburglar, did you think you could steal a Clown King Gleefully Gay Meal without paying for it? Prepare to pay now, you cad.
I couldn't help myself, Kapitän Übel. I was just dying for a Clown King cheeseburger, grease fries, and a diet Dr. Upper, now available without a prescription.
Let that be a lesson to you, foul villain. You pay one way or the other.
That Gleefully Gay meal was so delicious, it was worth even this! What a fool I was not to pay the low, low price of only ten dollars.

 

by fpd
1-22-05
I'm your host, Arb-el, and our guest tonight is Dam-ed, the inventor of the remotevision.
Hello, Arb. It's a pleasure to talk to you, as always. But I'm afraid I have some very bad news tonight.
Ha, ha! Don't you always. They don't call you Dr. Doom for nothing.
The bad news is that our beloved planet Crapton is going to blow up within the year.
Dam, that's quite a bold claim. Can you tell us what will cause our planet to blow up?
In hindsight, Arb, it was a really bad idea to use the core of the planet as a global septic tank. Ol' Mother Crapton is soon going to be letting out farts all over the planet.

 

by fpd
1-22-05
Besides predicting the end of the world, what else are you doing with that remotevision device of yours, Dam?
Well, Arb, I've been viewing this planet in another solar system, known to its inhabitants as Earth. It looks like it might make a great place to flee to before the world blows up.
But, Dam, how could you get to another planet? The idea of space travel has never been anything but science fiction on planet Crapton.
I've been viewing the technology of this planet. They can speed around the universe with warp drives, slipstream drives, jump gates, and stargates. It's really quite amazing.
And are you telling me that you are going to duplicate some of this technology to go there?
Well, I haven't found the plans to any of this really cool stuff, yet. But I did get some of their plans for building rockets, and I'm currently working on building one of those.

 

by fpd
1-22-05
So, Dam, you've been viewing this other planet, called Earth, with your remotevision device. What is it like there? Do the people there look anything like us?
As a matter of fact, they do. And it turns out that the Earth people know many other alien races that look much like us too, such as Vulcans, Bajorans, Sebaceans, Menbari, Centauris, and many more.
Wow, this is really fascinating. But let me get back to my other question. What is it like on Earth?
Earth is a beautiful paradise where people frolic along the coastline wearing next to nothing, and the women there are out of this world.
Yes, I'll bet. But does Earth have a seemy side of any kind? It's kind of hard to believe that it is just one big paradise.
Well, sure. But it's not nearly as bad as we have it on Crapton. Whatever problems they face on Earth, they can usually solve them before the planet has finished one 48th of its revolution.

 

by fpd
1-24-05
Ooh la la, reverend. With that goatee, you look just like Anton LaVey! I am so excited. You have to do me right here and now. Now, now! Do me now! Right on the altar!
Um, you do know that LaVey was a Satanist, whereas this is a Christian church, don't you? Perhaps we should have a little talk about this with your parents.
Hey, Father, I can see why you became a priest. With a chrome dome like that, I bet you just couldn't score with any of the ladies.
Actually, I'm a happily married Anglican priest.
Ho, ho, ho! I bet I know what you want for Christmas. A full head of hair.
If it weren't for my vow of silence, I could tell this doofus that I shave my head every day.

 

by fpd
1-27-05
Dr. Van Pelt, I'm in a dilemma. I could marry Patricia, who says she loves me, or I could chase after the beautiful red-haired woman I have always been nuts about.
Mr. Brown, you suffer from hair envy. You don't love the red-haired woman. You just fetishize her hair. Notice how you describe her by her hair instead of saying her name.
Wow, you sure are smart, Dr. Van Pelt. So you're saying I should just forget about her and marry Patricia, right?
No, she is a lesbian in denial. Any straight woman would know the difference between a truly handsome man, like my Schroeder, and a blockhead like you.
I don't know why I never saw it before. She has always been a tomboy, and she has that weird relationship with that creepy Marcie. So what should I do, Dr. Van Pelt?
Since you're at least a step above Pigpen, put on a wig and pretend to be my date tonight. Schroeder is giving a concert of Vince Guaraldi's music, and I need to make him jealous.

 

by fpd
1-27-05
Bro, I got some problems, I think I kinda might need help.
I'm gonna let you in on the secret of my success as a man.
Yeah? What's that?
Whenever I have my down days, and things get rough, I ask myself, 'What would Howdy Doody do?'
But, George, Howdy Doody is a puppet.
Exactly right, Jeb. Remember that, and one day you too could become President.

 

by fpd
1-28-05
Bro, I got some problems, I think I kinda might need help.
I'm gonna let you in on the secret of my success as a man.
Yeah? What's that?
Whenever I have my down days, and things get rough, I ask myself, 'What would Winnie the Pooh do?'
So, what would I do, Mr. Hoff?
Do? You would do by not doing, Pooh. Action through inaction. Lao-tse calls this Wu Wei, but we will this the Pooh Way.

 

by fpd
1-30-05
Hey mister, I lost something around here the other day. Can you help me find it?
Depends on what it is, and what's in it for me.
I lost the bionic visor I wear to help me see. I'm blind without it, and if you help me find it, you won't have to watch a rerun next time Reading Rainbow comes on.
Reading Rainbow? Is that like a TV show? What kind of geeks are so into reading that they would watch a TV show about it?
Not into reading, huh? But you know, lots of kids your age rave about it. Since I like you, let me give you a free sample. Green Eggs and Ham. No strings attached.

 

by fpd
1-31-05
Bro, I got some problems, I think I kinda might need help.
I'm gonna let you in on the secret of my success as a man.
Yeah? What's that?
Whenever I have my down days, and things get rough, I ask myself, 'What would Jesus do?'
You know, Fred, you and your Westboro Baptist Church are always picketing people for being fags. But when did Jesus ever picket people for being fags?
You need to learn a lesson in grammar, boy. I was speaking subjunctively. What Jesus has done has nothing to do with what he would do, and he would picket fags if he were here today.

 

by fpd
1-31-05
So, Robin, you're telling me that if I take these herbs, it will blow my mind, and I will see the face of Mars.
That's right, Richard. You will grok like you've never grokked before.
Oh my goodness! I knew there were artifacts on Mars, but to meet an actual Barsoomian! This is incredible!
Please join me in the sharing of water. It is our most sacred ceremony. And after that, we may play a game of Jetan.
I'm Art Bell, and you're listening to Coast to Coast AM. My guest tonight is Richard C. Hoagland. How are you, Richard?
Oh, Art, I have had the most incredible experience. I now know beyond any doubt that NASA is keeping all kinds of things from us. Not just Cydonia, but real Martians!

 

by fpd
2-02-05
For a woman qua woman, the essence of femininity is hero-worship -- the desire to look up to man.
Oh my goddess! How can you say such patriarchal nonsense?
I am a woman. I know this through my own introspection. As a woman, I worship the metaphysical concept of masculinity as such.
Dear Athena and Diana! Femininity is just being yourself, being the woman that Gaia made you. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Any truly feminine woman will naturally long for a truly heroic man she can worship. No woman is complete without a man, and any woman who seeks to lead men does so at the cost of her femininity.
Do you dare to question the femininity of Hilary Clinton and Margaret Thatcher? I'm not going to listen to you anymore. La, la, la, la! La, la, la!

 

by fpd
2-03-05
And I'm a graduate student in Classics and English Lit. I'm writing a dissertation on a feminist perspective of the Iliad.
When a woman has scholarly inclinations, there is usually something wrong with her sexually.
I don't know where you get off saying that, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Woman has so much reason for shame; so much pedantry, superficiality, schoolmarmishness, petty presumption, petty licentiousness, and immodesty lies concealed in woman.
Well, you have some nerve! If you think so poorly of women, why did you even agree to go on this blind date?
Everything about woman has one solution: that is pregnancy.

 

by fpd
2-03-05
Lur-ed, Crapton has started to heave and convulse. Planetary flatulence is in the air. It is time to send Cal to Earth!
Just Cal? What about us, Dam-ed? Surely our baby will need his parents.
Well, you see, Lur-ed, I thought it would be romantic for us to die together as the planet exploded. So I didn't make the rocket big enough for us.
Now I know why mother didn't want me to marry you! You're a damned fool!
Bye bye my little poo poo! I hope you grow up to have more brains than your good-for-nothing daddy!

 

by fpd
2-05-05
Look here, Mary. It's a rocket ship.
Goo goo, ga ga* (*translated from Craptonian).
And look, Joe, a baby. It is just as the angel foretold. I will be a virgin and a mother. His name shall be Immanuel.
But then his name would be Immanuel Kant. When he got to college, the kids in his Philosophy class would make fun of him.
Okay, let's call him Kirk, because it means church.

 

by fpd
2-05-05
Excuse me, Mr. Kant. I'm investigating reports of a crashed U.F.O., I mean weather balloon. Have you seen anything?
What's unusual about a weather balloon?
Uh, nothing, I guess. What I meant to say was that we were investigating an outbreak of swamp gas.
Well, no, I ain't seen any weather balloons or swamp gas.
Let me give you the number for the Foreign Technology Division at the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base just in case you do see something, okay?
Sure thing. If I find any weather balloons, I've give you guys a call.

 

by fpd
2-09-05
Did you know that most females are not even human? Most females are just lower on the evolutionary scale.
What?! Did I hear you right?
So many females are mere insects, to be stepped on or swatted.
You're just a male chauvinist pig!
And so many females are pigs too, not to mention cows, chickens, and asses. And so many females are dogs. Bow wow. Woof woof.
Miss O'Jenny, Willy is saying such awful things! Tell him to stop!

 

by fpd
2-10-05
Yo Yolanda, the johns I'm sending your way are complaining that you're not putting out. Wha's up?
I've been reading Marx, and I got to thinking that prostitution is alienated labor.
I don't care if you've been reading Groucho, Harpo, or Zeppo Marx. You're my ho, and you'll do as I tell you.
That's just it. A human being is not a commodity. This is what is wrong with capitalism, the way it reifies people into objects to be bought and sold.
I ain't no egghead sociologist. What does all this mumbo jumbo mean?
It means your time is up, bourgeoisie, because I have attained the class consciousness to know we are in a class struggle with each other. It is time for the dictatorship of the proletariat.

 

by fpd
2-12-05
Marcus Jive, Minority Relations Secretary, 2041-48.
Back in 2040, when Booby McAleister was running for President, Communism was ancient history. The Cold War had ended when the Berlin Wall fell.
And Red China had given up Communism when it merged with Wal*Mart. We had even ended the Crusades by forcing democracy on the middle east.
We thought the world was safe.
But soon after President McAleister came to office, he was faced with the most terrible threat to American freedom yet.
Over the years, the gays had been converting people with shows like Queer Eye. With a militia made of gays barred from the U.S. military, they attacked Las Vegas, the American marriage capital.
The threat was twofold. Within a few generations, their victory could depopulate America. But even worse, God might go Sodom and Gommorah on us if they won. It was up to Booby to decide what to do.

 

by fpd
2-12-05
Booby, I don't think you should see Dexx anymore. He's really too old for you.
But, Mom, as a Sociology professor, you must surely acknowledge the cultural relativity of your own social mores.
Dexx, you're sick and demented. I mean it takes a real weirdo to like someone as jerky as my little brother. And you're too old too. So stay away from him.
Oooh, I'll bet you're just jealous, Joke, because he likes me better than you.
I hate you, Joke. You told Dexx to stay away from me, and now it's all your fault that I found him stripping with another boy.
Believe me, Booby, I did you a favor. In 35 years or so, you'll look back on this moment and thank your lucky stars I saved you from a serious political scandal.

 

by fpd
2-13-05
Hey, Corny, check out these photos of Joke and Mousy.
Oh no! I thought Joke loved me! How could he screw me over like this?
Oh, I thought he was screwing Mousy in these photos, but anyway I know how you can get revenge on Joke for doing it with Mousy.
Right now, I would do just about anything to hurt that two-timing fink. What do you have in mind?
Hey, Joke, check out these photos of me and Corny doing it!
You son of a ... Wait, we have the same mother. But she is a bitch. You son of a bitch, Booby, you knew I liked Corny more than Mousy. How could you do this?

 

by fpd
2-13-05
Corny McAleister, First Lady, 2041-48.
After they hit Las Vegas, the gays continued their attack on marriage by bombing churches and doing drive-by shootings at weddings.
Booby knew how insidious the gay agenda was. He had almost been seduced by one of those NAMBLA freaks as a boy. Fortunately, his brother Joke and I had helped set him straight.
It was a very scary time for us, because we cherished our own marriage, and the gays were threatening to destroy it.
But Booby had an absolute inspiration. If we were to fight terrorists, we had to fight them with terrorism.
To kick things off, he had his gay uncle executed on live TV. That showed the gays he really meant business.
He then had anyone who looked gay put in concentration camps, where aversion therapy was used to make them hate gay sex, violence, and the music of Queen. Booby had saved American freedom.

 

by fpd
2-17-05
My gosh, Mary, young Kirk is quite rambunctious. With his superpowers, he gives the terrible twos a whole new meaning.
Our suffering only gives glory to the Lord, but still, we need help. We need some kind of Supernanny.
You mean like that woman on TV?
I don't know what you mean. Since Kirk is supposed to be an adult during the present, this must be the past.
Yes, you're exactly right. This must be the early 1980's, a golden age time of TV before Satan invented the reality show.
Indeed. So when I said Supernanny, I was speaking generally and did not mean someone from a reality TV show.

 

by fpd
2-17-05
Hi, I'm Sensation Siren of the Justice Sorority. What's the problem you needed our help with?
We need a nanny who can handle our superpowered two-year old.
Well, we don't usually do that sort of thing. We're usually busy saving the world from menaces like the Injustice Fraternity.
But surely women have no higher calling than to look after children.
But we're liberated women. That's why we frolic around in skimpy outfits while fighting crime.
Oh please. You really would be saving the world. Without the right guidance, Kirk could go wild and destroy the world.

 

by fpd
2-17-05
Well, okay, if you really need a nanny so bad, we could probably spare Blonde Crow.
Blonde Crow? Isn't she just one of those martial arts types who don't have any superpowers?
No, she has a high pitched scream that can shatter glass.
I don't think that's really going to cut it with my boy. He has super strength, invulnerability, heat vision, and can fly.
Then I'm the one you need. I have the strength of Hercules and the speed of Hermes.
Hercules? Hermes? Dear Lord, you're a heathen!

 

by fpd
2-20-05
There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet.
I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Ah, Jesus Christ, greatest of all created beings, only begotten son of the uncreated God, I humbly accept your sacrifice for my sins.
Begone foolish follower of the Arian heresy. I and my Father are one.
I once ran a stripcreator contest in which I encouraged people to commit blasphemy.
Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

 

by fpd
2-20-05
Tim Berners-Lee
I created the World Wide Web, and in so doing I enabled an explosion of internet porn and online predators of children. Can you forgive me?
You are forgiven. You brought the world together like no one before you, and the web has served to spread brotherhood and democracy.
Carl Sagan
I didn't believe in you, and I taught people to question religious dogma and think for themselves.
You exercised the mind I gave you, and you spread the gospel of the wonder of my creation. Go enjoy your heavenly reward.
Fred Phelps
I spread fear of fire and brimstone and hatred of fags, all in your name Jesus. I await my heavenly reward.
Without charity, Fred, you have nothing. Since you failed to love your neighbor as yourself, you are banished to the outskirts of Hell.

 

by fpd
2-21-05
What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
But Aswan is in Egypt. I can't get you there in 30 minutes.
No, it stands for Association of Suckers Who Are Nearby. I just need to bring a $1000 award processing fee, and it is right here in town.

 

I've been dealt a losing hand. The cards are stacked against me. But as they say, lucky at cards, unlucky at love, eh cherie?
Yes, you're very lucky that you're not being stalked by some lovesick psycho. I wish I was so lucky.
by fpd, 12-26-05

 

Oh symmetry, oh symmetry, how great it would be if this strip were number 330033.
And if this strip shall be number 330034, I shall have nothing left to live for.
by fpd, 12-26-05

 

Oh no! It's the end of the world as we know it!
I know you won't believe me. This is the newest and most unusual feeling I've ever had. But, for the first time in my angst-ridden life, I feel fine.
by fpd, 12-26-05

 

Hey Grim, what's the meaning of life?
What do you think it means, Billy? It means I'm not doing my job.
by fpd, 12-26-05

 

Isn't life wonderful?
There you go again, always thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
by fpd, 12-26-05

 

by fpd
12-29-05
Dr. Ken Abel was a go-getter.
This Soylent Green stuff is great. It's hard to keep up with the demand.
Don't you worry about that. I've just replenished the supply.
He had a plan for the future.
Doc, don't you ever feel guilty about what we do? Don't you worry that we're going to hell?
Not a problem! I've got it all covered.
He was going to rule hell.
Welcome to hell, loser! You thought you were better than us, did you? But you weren't! We got you!
PWND!!!1

 

by fpd
12-29-05
You're listening to Cat Smell on Cats to Cats AM. Let's take a call from the 2006 predictions line.
Hi Mr. Smell. It's a great honor to talk to you. Some said the world would end in 2000, and some say it will end in 2012. I would like to offer the compromise position that it will end in 2006.
That's very interesting, caller. And how do you think the world will end?
It will end with a period.
A period? A period of what?
Like a woman's period. You know that women lose iron when they have periods. Well, ol' Mother Earth is going to spew the whole iron core out a giant volcano in the South Pole.

 

by fpd
12-29-05
Welcome to Entertainment Tomorrow. 2006 is a very special year for the movie industry.
That's right, Jon. Movies have long used roman numerals for the year, and this is the first year in movie history that can be pronounced movie.
You heard it here first folks. MMVI, the roman numeral for 2006, can be pronounced movie.
In honor of this, Hollywood is planning to put out its best movies ever this coming year.
Here's a scene from one of 2006's most exciting new movies, Memoirs of a Sucky Sucky Girl. I'll be in line for it on New Years Day.
You are not a true sucky sucky girl until the mere sight of your clothed and breastless body can drive any man wild with passion.

 

by fpd
12-30-05
Only two more days until the new year.
Let's see. There's tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow. Oh my cocking cock-a-doodle-doo! The day after tomorrow is New Years Day!
Donkey, oh donkey! We have to prepare for the coming global superstorm! The day after tomorrow is New Years Day, and that's just two days away!!!
Hee Haw! Hee Haw!
This is no time for laughter, donkey! The end is upon us! This is a matter of the utmost gravity! We must tell everyone!!!
Hee Haw!

 

by fpd
12-30-05
Mouse, oh dear little mouse! The day after tomorrow is only two days away! The world is going to end on New Years Day!
Squeak. Squeak.
Cocking doodle-doo! Do not mock me, mouse! Don't you understand the seriousness of all this! The world is going to cocking doodle end in only two days. We must tell everyone!!
Squeak.
Penguin! Oh lady penguin! The ice age is on its way! Glaciers will be here on New Years Day, for it is the day after tomorrow! And that's only two days away!!!
Wahoo! That's incredible news! Such tidings fill my heart with joy, for glaciers are my natural habitat.

 

by fpd
12-30-05
Oh owl! Wise old owl! The world is going to end in just two days, for New Years Day is only two days away, and it is the day after tomorrow!!
Hoo! Hoo!
Oh owl! I thought you of all animals would most understand! Your reputation for wisdom reaches far and wide, yet all you can do is question me.
Hoo! Hoo!
Oh owl! You just don't understand! The world is coming to an end! This is a time for action, not for wasting time questioning dire warnings of impending emergency!!
Hoo!

 

by fpd
12-30-05
Roar! Roar!
I feel your pain, bear! The end of the world is the worst news ever! But we must act, not just bemoan our fate!
Oh horse, strong old horse! The world is ending in two days! The day after tomorrow comes on New Years Day!!
Neigh! Neigh!
Nay? I wish it were so, horse. But the facts are undeniable! The day after tomorrow is only two days away! The coming global superstorm arrives on New Years Day!!!
Neeiigghh!!

 

by fpd
12-30-05
Oh my dear sweet cock and doodle! The ice age is upon us already! This poor man has already fallen victim to the coming global superstorm!
Oh coyote, wily coyote! Surely you have the wile to know what to do about the coming global superstorm, which will be here on New Years Day!
Indeed I do! Come with me to my cave. We'll be safe from the storm, and I'll have you for dinner!
It has sure been a long day. I have been warning that the end is nigh all day, and my warnings kept falling on deaf ears. It's such a relief to meet someone as reasonable as yourself.
Oh boy, oh boy! I'm going to feast on chicken dumplings tonight! I wish I could find such a dumb cluck everyday!

 

It is, um, flattering to know how much you like us and all. But we don't understand this bit about us being the meaning of life for you. It's a bit, how shall I put this, ...
Creepy! You're creeping us out! Stop fantasizing about that three-way with us right now! It's not going to happen. You're never going to be the meaning of life for us, and -- hey! zip it up now!
by fpd, 1-02-06

 

by fpd
1-02-06
Hey kids! I've just become an atheist, and now I have no morals!
Surely you jest! Several humanist and atheist philosophers have demonstrated that you don't need to believe in God to have morals.
No, you're wrong. Atheists have no morals! The Revised Standard Version, which is God's inerrant word, says so, and I'll prove it with a demonstration!
Now, now, please remember WWJD: "What would Jean-Paul Sartre do?"
Where were we? Oh yes, it's time for communion. In rememberence of Pastor McNugget, let us now partake of the blood and body.
As deacon of this church, let me remind y'all that most atheists are good, moral people. Satan has clearly possessed the Easter Bunny to malign the good name of atheism.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
I pledge allegiance to the flag of Great Britain, and to the empire for which it stands, one commonwealth, unsunsettable, with taxes and no representation for all colonists.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Confederate States of America, and to the confederation for which it stands, one nation damned by God, divisible, with liberty for whites and justice for none.
I pledge allegiance to no flag, for that would be idolatry, but to the ideals of justice, liberty, and democracy that unite the states of America into one nation, with freedom of religion for all.
Young lady, your disrespect for the flag clearly marks you as a terrorist. Thank Him under whom this nation stands that we now have the Patriot Act.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
Hey, Butch... oooh, what's in the box?
I'll show you what's in the box if you show me what's in the bag.
Deal!
Wow! Between us, we have everything we need to party!
No, no, I'm going to build a woman with these. I'm not a pervert like you.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
Lucy, do you ever think we're just a Calvin and Hobbes rip-off?
Oh, don't be silly, Danae. We're both girls, which makes it totally different.
Yeah, girls are so much better than boys.
They sure are. Why, I don't even know what we need that dog Petey in this strip for.
So, uh, now that we're so much more sophisticated than we were as kids, you wanna, like, do it?
Eeew! Have you looked in a mirror recently, Danae? You're much too frumpy. Now, Kate, on the other hoof, is one fine filly.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
I'll be your waiter for tonight, sir. Are you ready to order?
This is so WRONG! At the Playboy Club, I should have a sexy female waitress in a bunny suit, not some fat guy.
How very sexist of you! Haven't you heard of equal rights? Men and women have equal rights to wait tables at the Playboy Club.
But Playboy is all about catering to fantasy. I want to be waited on by a female bunny, or I'm going to leave!
Hello there, big boy, I hear you want some fantasy with your dinner.
You know what, I think I'll just take an early flight back home and spend some quality time with my wife.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
Yuck. I think I need a drink.
Barf. I still need a drink.
Perfect. I don't need to drink anymore.
Well, I sure could use a drink.

 

by fpd
1-03-06
There were three sisters who lived in a well. They were all quite happy, because it was a booze well.
Happy? But weren't they malnourished, stinky, sticky, and living in their own vomit?
Of course they were. But they were happy, because they had all the booze they needed to chase away their blues.
And let's not forget, it was always happy hour, because their watch had stopped at 6:15.
Say, it's happy hour now. Let's switch bar stools and have some more booze.
Count me out on this one. I've had enough happiness to last me the whole day.

Showing page 8.

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