Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

701. Back with an Announcement...

by DaveMonkey on May 22, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Back with an Announcement... by DaveMonkey 5-22-07
Hello again one and all! Thank you for being patient with a new comic? What's new? Well, I'm now married! Me!	She's a fuckin idiot to marry you, you limp-dicked cocksucker! BOOOO!! Now that's not fair! You don't know my wife.	I AM your wife! Love you too, hon.

702. your bartender hates you: the truth about domestic beers

by mycatdrinkswine on April 19, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

your bartender hates you: the truth about domestic beers by mycatdrinkswine 4-19-07
hey, do me a favor before we open for business... which beer tap is which beer? i can never remember what handle goes where. we sell bud, bud light and miller lite. does it matter?	good point. tonight, let's make this tap bud.	he'll never know. duuuude i need a bud. a BUUUUD. don't give none of that miller crap. oh, of course not.

703. the fugitive

by mandingo on April 5, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

the fugitive by mandingo 4-05-07
your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. i want a search of every warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, doghouse, courthouse, jailhouse, house of blues, house of pancakes, houses of the holy cd	house of cards, fullhouse, straight flush, and three of a kind in the area. i also want Hugh Laurie taken behind the treeline and shot

704. Good Lookin' Out Ma!

by Matchbook_Romance on October 18, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Good Lookin' Out Ma!

I'm the girl you're mother warned you about. Oh, so you're the one with the diseases.

by Matchbook_Romance, 10-18-06

705. HCRoyall's Pick-Up Lines

by Zaster on October 9, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

HCRoyall's Pick-Up Lines by Zaster 10-09-06
Hi there. I couldn't help noticing you're here by yourself.	You know, "Power Word Kill" has no saving throw and doesn't allow for spell resistance...	And neither does my lovin'! Gah! That weird convention is in town, isn't it?

706. that letter E is made out of iron

by xxausrottenxx on October 28, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

that letter E is made out of iron by xxausrottenxx 10-28-05
so you say you died trying to save people on 9/11?	and you're in Hell...	man, you must have had one hell of a porn collection

707. to put it delicately

by mandingo on August 18, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

to put it delicately

why does everyone always call me cockspray? i think it's because you spit when you talk and you're a dick

by mandingo, 8-18-05

708. Mr. Optimism at the ranch

by mandingo on August 11, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Mr. Optimism at the ranch

♫ where have all the cowboys gone♫ chemotherapy!

by mandingo, 8-11-05

709. Mr. Optimism

by mandingo on August 11, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Mr. Optimism

i'm really self-conscious about this mole on my neck maybe it's cancer!

by mandingo, 8-11-05

710. Sam the Satanist (4)

by evil_d on August 2, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Sam the Satanist (4) by evil_d 8-02-05
So, Sam, does your religion require you to dye your hair that color, or what? Yes. I dye it once a week using the blood of innocents.	Nah, I'm just kidding you. It's all natural.	By which I mean that I use my own blood.

711. that's my girl?

by mandingo on July 28, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

that's my girl? by mandingo 7-28-05
hehe. you can tell which comics you wrote drunk because your spelling and grammar are terrible yah	and because you're funnier

712. 2 cups of sugar

by mandingo on July 26, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

2 cups of sugar by mandingo 7-26-05
what did i say at the time? you said 'WHY WHY WHY'	and what did you say? i said 'BECAUSE I CAN'	and do you remember my response? you said 'ok, but don't come knocking on MY door asking for a cup of sugar'

713. MySpace Has Low Security

by Intoxicatious on November 10, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

MySpace Has Low Security by Intoxicatious 11-10-07
Welcome to Lake MySpace. What's your username? I'm Alicia Keys, man. Can't you tell?	I'm so sorry, Miss Keys. Please, enjoy your phishing trip. Thanks. We brought you a gift, man.	Hey, guys. Wheel over that big wooden horse.

714. Mister Monkeybottom

by squidrabies on July 25, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Mister Monkeybottom by squidrabies 7-25-04
What do you find most rewarding about teaching 6th grade english? The sex. Definately the sex.	I'm sorry... did you just say "the sex"? S-E-X. That's how you spell it. I've been a teacher for 40 years. So I know how to spell sex. I know how to do it too. Want a quick lesson?	I need something to vomit in. And possibly a clean spot to lay down and die. That's natural. You'll feel better afterwards when you see the shiny gold star I put in your progress report.

715. Untitled

by batFucker on June 19, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Untitled by batFucker 6-19-04
targeted marketing is so fucking stupid. who the fuck falls for it? jesus christ, people are so fucking stupid. so as a teacher, when i get a headache, what else do i reach for? excederine. the headache medicine.	wake up around bout noon n beat off ta kiddie porn. throw on the same fucking clothes i juz done fuckin' worn. da da ta da daaa i'm lovin' it. mc donalds.	yeah, uh, i'd like one big mac please.

716. Ranger's World presents: "The Ranger Years"

by Ranger77 on May 14, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "The Ranger Years" by Ranger77 5-14-04
1986: "The relationships I had in college were best described as near misses. You THINK you get to know someone, get up the nerve to ask for a date and then...." Hey, are you ok? You seem a little distracted today. Nope I'm fine.	You sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm sure. With what I spend on therapy and medication, I shouldn't have to solicit any outside advice.	"Years later that true story would end up in a comic strip. Funny thing....I don't think any SC character could convey the fucked up expression I had on my face...." Uh....ok. Nothing personal.

717. Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life."

by Ranger77 on April 14, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life." by Ranger77 4-14-04
Look at those monks over there. They look like they're having a pretty intense conversation. What do you think they could be talking about? Religion? Politics? Philosophy?	Here's one....I read somewhere that the longest case of someone resisting the urge to defecate is 19 days. No shit?	They're probably talking about all that and more. It takes years to get to their level. Sometimes decades. No shit....

718. Bad Pun

by HeuristicsInc on January 23, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Bad Pun by HeuristicsInc 1-23-04
I apologize in advance for what I am about to do. I hate waiting in line! I'm going to blow this whole place up if I don't get my way!	You know, a civilized being would just wait their turn and not have a temper tantrum. Maybe not...	...but a dino might!

719. Lucky?

by lukket on August 19, 2003
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Lucky? by lukket 8-19-03
Have you heard that Steve nearly died in that car accident. Yeah. But I think he was lucky.	Lucky? He's paralyzed from the neck and down. I don't think that's lucky. Well, his insurance paid off so well that he doesn't have to move a finger ever again.	He CAN'T move a finger. Yeah. Could you get a more bulletproof excuse?

720. THE GLAD LADS starring Blaine Rivers and Floyd Reynolds

by biped on April 16, 2002
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

THE GLAD LADS starring Blaine Rivers and Floyd Reynolds by biped 4-16-02
Look! Me found kitty cat! Me glad you found kitty cat!	Me glad you glad me found kitty cat! Me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat!	Six hours later... ...me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad... ...you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat!

721. Trailer Taylor: Sports

by four_legged_tripod on April 24, 2018
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Trailer Taylor: Sports by four_legged_tripod 4-24-18
You really played high school football? I sure did.	What was it like? A lot like my first time having sex.	I was bloody and sore by the end, but at least my uncle came.

722. Not My Joke, But I Found it Funny

by four_legged_tripod on April 12, 2018
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Not My Joke, But I Found it Funny by four_legged_tripod 4-12-18
And God made dogs Okay, so you're gonna be man's best friend. Well that's pretty sexist.	No, I meant "man" as in all... Ah fuck it! You know what? You can't speak! ........	And chocolate kills you!

723. Random Game Night

by ivytheplant on January 14, 2018
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Random Game Night by ivytheplant 1-14-18
Welcome to the Great Library of Askendore. Here you may ask questions that will help you on your quest. I roll to eat some books so I can gain knowledge through osmosis. I roll to loot the rare book room.	Guys, you're supposed to ask the library a question. I roll to ask the library if I can eat some books for gaining knowledge through osmosis. I roll to ask the library to look over there for a minute.	The Great Library of Askendore is revoking your library cards. I roll to eat my library card. I roll to steal the DM's book.

724. Town Spirit!

by four_legged_tripod on August 16, 2017
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Town Spirit! by four_legged_tripod 8-16-17
I keep finding these painted rocks around town. Those are town spirit rocks. See, they have #ourtownrocks written on the back of them.	Oh I get it. Our town "rocks" with rocks. What am I supposed to do with them? You hide them so others get town spirit when they find them. And I think I know just where to hide one!	Harold! Some little shit just chucked a painted rock through our window! I hate this fucking town!

725. CC670: The Marxes

by evil_d on July 8, 2017
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC670: The Marxes

I can't believe you slept with that floozy from down the street, Karl! I'm leaving you! I'm sorry, baby! But my principles dictate that I must give my love to each woman according to her need!

by evil_d, 7-08-17

726. Appointment

by evil_d on April 28, 2017
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Appointment by evil_d 4-28-17
Hello, can I help you? yeah i gotta appointment for the 22th	Um... today's only the 19th. yeah thats right i gotta appointment for the 19th for 22th	I'm not understanding. Are you saying you have a 19th appointment and a 22nd appointment? i think yer dentist is gonna need longer'n twenty second to look at my twenty tooth

727. You Gotta Have Faith

by four_legged_tripod on December 26, 2016
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

You Gotta Have Faith by four_legged_tripod 12-26-16
You are Linda Danvers, aka Supergirl, correct?	Yes, officer. What's this about? I'm afraid that I'm going to have to arrest you for the murder of George Michael.	Wait! That dude had a problem with heroin, not heroines.

728. Steve's Got Jobs

by four_legged_tripod on April 11, 2016
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Steve's Got Jobs by four_legged_tripod 4-11-16
And what are your qualifications? To be honest, I've never really had a job.	But I'm good at telling my wife I'm looking for work while staying home and playing video games. Plus, I'm a fan of living off other people's money.	Good enough for me! Welcome aboard! I hope to make the unemployment office proud as along as I work for it!

729. Simian Says: H.I.T.V.

by four_legged_tripod on December 2, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Simian Says: H.I.T.V. by four_legged_tripod 12-02-15
Charlie! I got here as soon as I heard. Monkey! So good to see you.	So, it's true then? Yep. The ol' HIV.	Was it drug related? To be honest, I've slept with a lot of ♫Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, meeeeeeeeeeen.♫

730. Your Mime is Up

by four_legged_tripod on October 7, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Your Mime is Up

You're a great listener. I just wish you'd give more advice.

by four_legged_tripod, 10-07-15

731. Lordy, Lordy

by four_legged_tripod on September 15, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Lordy, Lordy by four_legged_tripod 9-15-15
Dude! A flying fish!	Ouch! Hey, who just pinched my ass?	Where have you been all day? Out. By the way, here's your magic ring back.

732. He lives in shadows. He feeds on fear.

by mandingo on August 4, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

He lives in shadows. He feeds on fear. by mandingo 8-04-15
In the beginning, God created the Earth and placed man on it.	God eventually realized that he had not done something right.	So God created light. Why's my ass hurt? Zip Zop Za Bebop! J-E-L-L-O

733. Lights! Camera! Daaaaaamn!

by kaufman on August 3, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Lights! Camera! Daaaaaamn! by kaufman 8-03-15
In the beginning, God created the Earth and placed man on it.	God eventually realized that he had not done something right.	So, God created light and confirmed it! Ok, next batch I use less clay and add in some pigment. Albinos was a bad idea.

734. cc616: 50 to go

by mandingo on July 14, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

cc616: 50 to go by mandingo 7-14-15
i think we should rename Wednesday, "Friendsday," Reg. the world needs more of that.	just good friends hanging out, enjoying each other's company, you know? doing what friends do.	and you know what friends don't do, Reg? bend each other over the FUCKING SALOON DOORS. AND RAPE THEM. IN THE ASS. Jesus, FINE! i'll be Luigi!

735. Horse Play

by TheGovernor on June 29, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Horse Play by TheGovernor 6-29-15
So for 50 clams you'll get the full Scandinavian. I'll take you to the final furlong and leave you with Norwegian Wood if you know what I mean? Well I Say!	Hey if that's not your thing then you can wear the saddle and I'll do the riding. Im a trojan horse baby, I'll be inside before you even know it. Ahhh yeah!!!! That's it, I demand to speak to Orson the manager	Sir, the lewd language of your staff is intolerable Of course! What did you expect at Orson Borsen's Coarse Norse Hoarse Horse Whores Inn?