Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

751. Real Life: Toy Story

by four_legged_tripod on June 16, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Real Life: Toy Story by four_legged_tripod 6-16-12
Wasn't that a great toy store? I guess. What happened to the rest of its name?	What do you mean? What happened to the "L.M." that used to be at the front of the store's name?	There never was an "L.M.". So the store has always been called "Fucking Ass Off Schwarz"?

752. DP2

by four_legged_tripod on June 10, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

DP2 by four_legged_tripod 6-10-12
		So then I had one black guy all up in my downstairs and a young black guy coming in my backdoor. Hell, sweetie, that's a normal Thursday at Bingo for me.

753. Rent

by four_legged_tripod on June 10, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Rent by four_legged_tripod 6-10-12
I can't make the rent this month. All you need is love.	I'll be a little short on the rent this month. All you need is love.	I don't have all the rent this month. Get out in 30 days.

754. Back? Ground

by umfumdisi on June 7, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Back? Ground by umfumdisi 6-07-12
grandfather? clock	fish? bowl	one? night stand

755. 555: The Number of the Comic Contest

by umfumdisi on May 21, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

555: The Number of the Comic Contest by umfumdisi 5-21-12
I'm gonna catch you, Pac-Jesus!	Not if I make it to the conversion pellet first, suckah! {}	{} This game is stupid.

756. The Amplification of Bucky Masturbate

by biped on April 5, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

The Amplification of Bucky Masturbate by biped 4-05-12
Have you wondered why I'm unusually quiet today, Dick? It's because my penis, testicles, and anus are receiving radio transmissions, and I am endeavoring to discern-- I...AM...TRYING... TO...TAKE...A... PISS...BUCKY!!! YAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA!!!	The adjustments are complete, boss. We've realigned the satellite feed for maximum output. Well then, turn that cocksucker up to full power and let's blast the motherfuckin' doors off.	HOLY GOOD GRIEFITY FUCK FUNGUS!!! I'M EJACULATING THE 4TH MOVEMENT OF BEETHOVEN'S 9TH SYMPHONY AND DEFECATING THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE!!! MOM-MEEE!!!

757. Default

by choadwarrior on January 15, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Default by choadwarrior 1-15-12
My daughter has blue eyes. I hope she keeps them and takes after her father.	Yeah, people look at me and see my blue eyes and blond hair and would never guess that I'm Mexican. But you're not Mexican.	I know; nobody ever thinks that.

758. CC493 - Pull its ... er?

by lukket on December 29, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC493 - Pull its ... er? by lukket 12-29-11
Wait...the plane is crashing and I'm yelling at the phone?	I shouldn't yell at that innocent phone. It's not to blame for this plane crash.	It's probably the very long cable I attached to it that drags us to the ground.

759. Captain Lunch

by biped on December 18, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Captain Lunch by biped 12-18-11
SWOOSH! POW! I'M CAPTAIN LUNCH! "Captain Lunch"? What's your super power?	It's, err...reminding people to have a GOOD LUNCH! It's the MOST IMPORTANT MEAL of the day! Nuh-uh. Everybody knows breakfast is the most important meal of the day.	What? But, I... uhh...it...erm... GRRRRRRRRR!!! YOU ARE MY ARCH-ENEMY NOW!

760. The Adventures of Arwin Nunderstern feat. Santa Claus

by biped on December 9, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

The Adventures of Arwin Nunderstern feat. Santa Claus by biped 12-09-11
I was just passing by on my way to the Arctic Circle, and I thought you should know that I find you and everything you stand for offen-- SUPER SANTA THOUGHT POWER--INCINERATE!		Sorry...that's just something I do sometimes.

761. If Mandingo Had a Catchphrase

by four_legged_tripod on August 29, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

If Mandingo Had a Catchphrase

go rape a kite!

by four_legged_tripod, 8-29-11

762. Silent But Deadly (2)

by ZMannZilla on August 28, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Silent But Deadly (2) by ZMannZilla 8-28-11

763. Randumfum 8-28-11

by umfumdisi on August 28, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Randumfum 8-28-11 by umfumdisi 8-28-11
Light the fuse in my bottom so I can take off!	I - I only see a sausage...	LIGHT IT!!!!

764. Smell My Finger!

by four_legged_tripod on August 24, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Smell My Finger! by four_legged_tripod 8-24-11
Up against the car sir. We got you on soliciting a prostitute. Have you been drinking? Why don't you just smell my finger?	*sniff* Your finger smells drunk to me. Looks like you'll be spending the night in the slammer. Fuck you pig. You can go smell my finger!	Hey sweet stuff. Wanna party? Wouldn't you rather just smell my finger?

765. Smell My Finger!

by four_legged_tripod on August 24, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Smell My Finger! by four_legged_tripod 8-24-11
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, and one more thing... Smell my finger! Okay people, that's a wrap. We start shooting again in the morning.	Listen J.J., could you talk to the writers and see what we can do about my catch phrase? "Smell my finger" just isn't working for me. Come on now Peter, it's a great catch phrase that can be used in any situation. Just try it tonight and I'm sure you'll agree.	Hey baby. Wanna party? Are you kiddin'? Smell my finger!

766. Chicken of Destiny #2

by Ranger77 on June 27, 2011
Rating: 7.14 (7 votes)

Chicken of Destiny #2 by Ranger77 6-27-11
So....what exactly does a "Chicken of Destiny" do? It's quite simple actually. I speak and lesser beings hang on my every.....		"Your every...." Word. HA! Peasant.

767. The Brickening

by FactoryRejects on June 8, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

The Brickening by FactoryRejects 6-08-11
We sure have collected some awesome things, hard drive. We're going to be friends for life.	***MOUNT ERROR*	Damn you to hell, you miserable bastard.

768. CC472: Fantasy Dude Ranch A-Go-Go

by ZMannZilla on March 30, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC472: Fantasy Dude Ranch A-Go-Go by ZMannZilla 3-30-11
Oh, boy, I'm so excited! This fantasy dude ranch is going to be the best vacation ever! Yup! Two weeks of driving cattle through hostile terrain is sure a great way to relieve the pressures of cubicle life!	Hey, Mel, I just got word that our trip is going to be delayed. Seems the cowboys in charge of our cattle drive haven't returned from their vacation yet. Well, that's a fine howdy-doo! What exactly would cowboys do with a vacation anyways?	I landed th' dad-gum Emerson account fer $85K! YEE-HAW! Im'a put that bad boy on th' Q1 spreadsheet right now!

769. Expanding The Mushroom Kingdom

by ZMannZilla on February 17, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Expanding The Mushroom Kingdom by ZMannZilla 2-17-11
Oh, Mario! Thanks to you, our kingdom has defeated the Koopas at Donut Valley! Thanks, Peach! Now raise their tax another 10 Coins a year and put the little fungus brains to work building a Fire Flower farm!	But the people are already over-taxed, both physically and financially! They'll certainly rebel! Send Luigi and four units of Yoshi Riders over there to secure the border. I'll allocate some Coins into a propaganda campaign.	I'm not sure I like the direction Sid Meier is taking the Mario franchise.

770. Physical

by lukket on February 12, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Physical by lukket 2-12-11
Sorry Butch. I like you as a friend, but I'm just not attracted to you! But what about Newton's law of universal gravitation?	What do you mean? Can't we agree that my mass is bigger than yours?	So, is Samantha attracted to you? Theoretically, yes.

771. CC 469 - IV

by lukket on February 7, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC 469 - IV by lukket 2-07-11
♫ what so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last reaming♩	We have to find someone else than Christina Aguilera. She messed it up completely. What about Britney Spears? It would be great for her career.	♫ what so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last reaming♩

772. Relative Dimensions

by choadwarrior on January 3, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Relative Dimensions by choadwarrior 1-03-11
You never pay attention to me anymore.	All you do is sit there and write your Doctor Who fanfic.	Why don't you write something about me? Her box is like the T.A.R.D.i.S.

773. Ask A Cherokee Medicine Woman About Mistletoe

by ZMannZilla on January 3, 2011
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Ask A Cherokee Medicine Woman About Mistletoe by ZMannZilla 1-03-11
O Great Cherokee Medicine Woman, there's nobody else I can turn to. In your professional opinion, does mistletoe also cure soul cancer, or is it only just regular cancer?	I ask you, Wise One, because you Cherokee medicine folk are in touch with life itself, and I'll be damned if those money-grubbing hospitals get a hold of my baby girl. Ah, yes, Silva... it's nice hearing from you after all these years... and while I weep for the tragedy of your offspring's cancer, I must first warn you...	...I've changed a bit since college.

774. Whitney Dates the Undead Again

by four_legged_tripod on December 28, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Whitney Dates the Undead Again by four_legged_tripod 12-28-10
I love the way you nibble my earlobe. It's so sexy. Uhhhhh.	Yes! Moan for me! Eat me you magnificent bastard!

775. Part of a Nutritious Breakfast

by four_legged_tripod on November 30, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Part of a Nutritious Breakfast by four_legged_tripod 11-30-10
The problem with kids' cereal is that kids are too mature. We need a more mature spokes person like a dirty stripper or something instead of a stupid toucan. Bullshit! The problem with kids is that they know we're lying. If there's a tiger on the front of the box, there'd better be dehydrated tiger meat in the box!	Good point Johnson. I'm putting you in charge of this operation!	Hey, Pop! Have you seen Crackle anywhere?

776. D&D: Zombie Showdown 3

by Lord_Vodek on August 10, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

D&D: Zombie Showdown 3 by Lord_Vodek 8-10-10
Ok So the wizard and ranger have wasted their turns what do you want to do with your rogue Reggie? I want to hide You cowardly faggot	Ok your roll of 18 was successful you are now hidden from the zombies what next? I want to steal a zombies pants	I fucking hate you guys I rolled a natural twenty!

777. Pay no attention to the man behind the merkin!

by ladyjdotnet on July 12, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Pay no attention to the man behind the merkin! by ladyjdotnet 7-12-10
Pssst. I'm a newbie and I'm creating 75 contests that involve adding a panel to two previously created panels in various combinations! *hmph*	*grrr* Pssst. I'm posting every single one of my comics to the Read My Damn Comics forum, and misspelling every eighth word!	I'm done creating my sock puppet accounts to harass ladyjdotnet and crabby. Here's Mr. Wanky back. I'm going to go... um, wash my hands. I did my best to add a little extra spunk to your characters. I hope they weren't too stiff!

778. OPC #51: What they do when you miss a payment

by ladyjdotnet on June 12, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

OPC #51: What they do when you miss a payment

Netflix made a mistake. They sent us Adhikar, a 1971 Bollywood drama. A Bollywood drama? So that means only two big musical numbers.

by ladyjdotnet, 6-12-10

779. Loosely based on a real conversation

by ladyjdotnet on June 12, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Loosely based on a real conversation by ladyjdotnet 6-12-10
Ironman is the best! Ironman sucks donkey dick!	*Gasp* I'm telling mom what you just said! Whatever!	Mom! Eric said Ironman sucks donkey dick! Eric! You know better than that! Ironman is awesome!

780. FML

by ladyjdotnet on June 9, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

FML by ladyjdotnet 6-09-10
There's a really popular new website where people post about the little obstacles in their lives so other people can laugh at their pain. Sounds interesting. Read me one.	"Texted my boyfriend: 'I need a nap,' but my iPhone changed it to 'I need anal.' I sent it. FML" What's the FML stand for?	Fuck My Life Oooh. I have one. "Just spent life savings opening what was to be a modeling agency called Fashion Marketing Limited. FML"

781. Sheep in the Schity

by four_legged_tripod on June 8, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Sheep in the Schity by four_legged_tripod 6-08-10
I'm the "Farmer Fucker!" I'll make you my ewe! Well, I'm no farmer, but I'm game.	Dear god, they're right!	I'll be a black sheep from now on.

782. This Is Tech Support

by ZMannZilla on June 6, 2010
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

This Is Tech Support by ZMannZilla 6-06-10
Hey buddy, is this an American? Am I talkin wit an American? I don' wanna talk ta some Injun. *sigh* Yes, sir, you're talking to an American.	How do I know y'ain't one'a dem Injuns? Prove yer American, boy! Sir, if you can understand me when I talk, it shouldn't matter. Now if you'll tell me the nature of your problem, I can-	NICE TRY BOY, now PROVE YER AMERICAN!!! I hate you and want you to die based solely on your shitty English. Is that American enough for you?