Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

801. Wisdom Spaniard on nutrition

by evil_d on February 4, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Wisdom Spaniard on nutrition by evil_d 2-04-09
Hmm... I sure could go for some tacos right about now. No lettuce, though. I hear it has no nutritional value anyway. Actually, that's not true! Lettuce varieties are an excellent source of several nutrients, including vitamins A, C, and K! The darker the leaves, the better!	Wow, I never knew that! Thanks, Wisdom Spaniard!	So, uh... you got any tacos? Tacos are Mexican.

802. Groovy! - ELBOWS ETHAN IS INNOCENT!!!

by edoggydog on June 25, 2015
Rating: 7.86 (7 votes)

Groovy! - ELBOWS ETHAN IS INNOCENT!!! by edoggydog 6-25-15
There I was in the Charleston jail, being held for shooting those people in the church because I look like the guy in the video... So, why did they release you?		Because, they figured out there's no practical way I could fire a gun. Groovy!

803. CC 405: Number 1 to the Bridge!

by kaufman on November 7, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC 405: Number 1 to the Bridge! by kaufman 11-07-08
Ok, Cap'n, beaming you up.	Scotty, I don't feel right! I'm afraid we had a little transporter problem. Your left kidney didn't make it back. It's out there ... somewhere.	200 light years and 2 centuries away ... All right, who keeps pissing on Mr. Nimoy's corpse?.

804. New Comic

by Humpenstein on November 1, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

New Comic by Humpenstein 11-01-08
The bad news is that we tried to replace your kidney with a potato.	The worse news is it's Tuesday.	How the hell is it worse that it's Tuesday? We ran out of potatoes on Monday.

805. Happy Halloween

by FactoryRejects on October 31, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Happy Halloween by FactoryRejects 10-31-08
come on, I'm in a hurry dammit	the total was $4.91 and i gave you $5 and a penny so I get a dime back... this isn't that hard	jesus christ

806. You're a Book Store, Aintcha

by christopher7murphy on September 21, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha by christopher7murphy 9-21-08
I have an emergency. Could I use your internet to check my e-mail? I'm sorry, we're not connected to the internet.	But you have a computer. Yes, but it's only set up for our retail needs and information from our corporate headquarters.	Girl! You. Have. A. Computer. Let me start over: No.

807. Why the American Civil War was retarded

by RetardedHistory on September 17, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Why the American Civil War was retarded

No, for the last time, I don't see any logical flaws with my calling slavery a personal freedom! *Sigh* I'm not going over it again.

by RetardedHistory, 9-17-08

808. The Brain Does Strange Things At Night

by umfumdisi on July 25, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

The Brain Does Strange Things At Night by umfumdisi 7-25-08
And as you can see here on this prostitute bunny, garters are up while looks are down.	Waaaaaaay down.

809. vice president

by FactoryRejects on June 23, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

vice president by FactoryRejects 6-23-08
LZ_VCS.MPG --- 57.8% Well hey there, reader. You caught me in the middle of satiating my pornography addiction!	LZ_VCS.MPG --- 73.5% After this video downloads I was thinking about maybe giving in to my food and water addictions.	LZ_VCS.MPG --- 100% Oh, and before I forget... fuck you, society

810. WW57: What if homosexuality is genetic

by fpd on June 20, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

WW57: What if homosexuality is genetic by fpd 6-20-08
Thanks to your preaching against homosexuality, Father, I now have this beautiful son, whom I've named Gaylord, which means jailor, because staying with his mother is like living in jail. Take heart, my son. Your unnatural urges are of the flesh. When you pass on, your sacrifice in this life will be rewarded in Heaven, where you shall be free of the flesh's evil power.	I feel so confused, Father. I'm getting crushes on boys instead of girls, which is sinful, yet I don't want a loveless marriage like my parents had. What can I do? Celibacy has worked for many of us, little Gaylord. If you can't bear a loveless marriage, I recommend joining the priesthood and taking a vow of celibacy.	In breaking news, Father Gaylord McCrabby of St. Paul's Catholic Church was arrested today on charges of sexually abusing choirboys. I don't understand this kind of hypocricy. The Catholic Church condemns homosexuality, yet it seems to have homosexual clergy wherever you turn.

811. Sticky Situation

by choadwarrior on June 13, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Sticky Situation by choadwarrior 6-13-08
Did you hear about the guy who is suing Home Depot because someone put adhesive on the toilet seat and he got stuck to it?	No	Then you're in for a big surprise.

812. Twilight of Biff

by biped on February 17, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Twilight of Biff by biped 2-17-12
Have you seen the new "Twilight" movie yet? Oh, I just totally love vampires! (drool!) Hmm...Debbie loves vampires...	Maybe if I hang around in this cave long enough, one of the vampire bats will bite me and turn me into a vampire.	Biff, I'm afraid you have...rabies. Rabies, eh? Is that anything like being a vampire?

813. Incompetent Inc.

by LuckyGuess on June 6, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Incompetent Inc. by LuckyGuess 6-06-08
The new boss is giving me the creeps. Really? I think he's a model of efficiency.	Attention employees, DOO WAP A DOO WA DEE DOO DEE DOO DOO WAAAAAAAH!	That will be all. He does that with his pants down and his hands in the air. I wonder how he pushes the button on the intercom.

814. One for the Vault

by choadwarrior on May 29, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

One for the Vault by choadwarrior 5-29-08
I was kind of hoping there would be a lot of gangster related stuff to see in Chicago. Well, Wacker Drive was secretly named after Al Capone.	Really? Instead of naming it directly after an infamous mobster, they called it Wacker because he had a lot of people wacked.	Something tells me you made that up. You're right. It's because he was a notorious masturbator.

815. Best Week Ever

by choadwarrior on May 15, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Best Week Ever by choadwarrior 5-15-08
So you're really thinking about taking a job elsewhere? This isn't any kind of ultimatum or power play...it's just a good opportunity for me.		How about if we give you a lot more money and less responsibility. I love it here and would never think of leaving.

816. No One Likes Dave #8

by fraod on March 26, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

No One Likes Dave #8 by fraod 3-26-08
I had just about given up hope of rescue when a logging company came in and knocked down the tree I was sleeping in.	They wouldn't take me with them, but I followed their tread marks in the mud and found my way to a hospital eventually.	Turns out they make you get rabies shots if you've been bitten repeatedly by various woodland creatures. I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

817. Epilogue

by allenhenderson on March 21, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Epilogue by allenhenderson 3-21-08
Hey, there's my guy!	With James dead, you get to take over for him!	So get down to the lab and let them inject you with experimental substances until you explode.

818. DormZ 14 - meet the parents

by carefully_strange on February 29, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

DormZ 14 - meet the parents by carefully_strange 2-29-08
Wow, your room has a window? Sweet. Don't all the rooms have windows?	Ya, but my room doesn't have this window.	You don't happn to have any weed do you? I'm running low. I take it your parents are paying for your schooling.

819. DormZ 7

by carefully_strange on February 28, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

DormZ 7 by carefully_strange 2-28-08
I need some help moving in the last of my stuff. Would you mind helping me? Sure	I needed to move the desk out to make room for my craps table. What? Isn't gambling illegal in dorms?	You really are naive Are those kegs holding up your bed?

820. Chicago

by Scyess on February 22, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Chicago by Scyess 2-22-08
So what did you end up doing last night? I rented Chicago.	Hey, I liked that movie. Not the movie. The city. I thought it would be nice to have it to myself for a change.	Um... sounds like... fun. That reminds me: can you loan me several million dollars?

821. RCD 15: To Boldly Go

by Scyess on February 17, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

RCD 15: To Boldly Go by Scyess 2-17-08
I'm on the planet's surface, Spock. Do you read any signs of life.	Yes, captain. There is a large humanoid creature directly behind you. Do you think it's safe?	Nothing to worry about, Captain. Ah, good. And by the way, thanks for being so understanding about that electrified toilet seat gag the other day.

822. You're a Book Store, Aintcha?

by christopher7murphy on January 12, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 1-12-08
So...Mr. Durdyape...um... Please...call me Dan.	So...Dan, how do you feel that you are qualified to work at the Book Store? I can alphabetize and ballance spreadsheets. I'm a fast worker, ....and Oh! I'm a "people person."	Very impressive! I can skin and tan one before you can say, "I'll be a monkey's war bonnet!"

823. New job

by mandingo on November 5, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

New job by mandingo 11-05-07
hey, i heard you were out all night looking for a job. any luck? yup. i'm a pumpkin	sorry? i'm a pumpkin. it's not as hard as you might think, actually. besides the 2nd order differential equations, it's mostly just a lot of sitting around	i think maybe you're a little bit sleep depriv... HOLY SHIT! shift started

824. Two days after the hallucinations started

by mandingo on October 23, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Two days after the hallucinations started by mandingo 10-23-07
i think we're gonna die out here, hairband guitarist. ♫ CRAZY RABBIT, DEATH IS FOR THE WEAK, YOU DON'T KNOW, THAT OF WHICH YOU SPEAK ♫	did you just make a 'Trix is for kids' reference? ♫ MAYBE I DID, MAYBE I DID NOT, MAYBE YOU JUST THINK I DID, CAUSE IT'S SO DAMN HOT ♫	it is pretty hot. my feet are all blistered. i don't know if you saw earlier, but that's why i was crying. ♫ PUSSY ♫

825. Toilet Humor

by Hatrix on September 25, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Toilet Humor by Hatrix 9-25-07
Sir I think there's something wrong with the new Men's room...could you come in here a moment?	This doesn't seem right. Whaddya mean? The big one is for guys with a wide stance...	-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And that one's for uh... republican senate meetings!

826. Vickish

by GuyInBoxers on September 14, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Vickish by GuyInBoxers 9-14-07
Office of Pet Adoption So thanks for coming in today! What makes you qualified to be a dog owner? I like to beat the shit out of my dogs.	Office of Pet Adoption Is that it? No. I also like to beat the shit out of other people's dogs.	Office of Pet Adoption Are you going to get my new dog?

827. Office Equipment

by fraod on August 28, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Office Equipment

Fax machine's broken.

by fraod, 8-28-07

828. Honeymoon in Mexico

by fraod on August 28, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Honeymoon in Mexico

Drug Mule If the checkpoint guard asks, you're my wife and you don't even know what cocaine is.

by fraod, 8-28-07

829. Target of opportunity

by mandingo on August 25, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Target of opportunity by mandingo 8-25-07
excuse me, can you tell me where there's a hardware store? why? you need rope so you can hang a brother?	what a prejudiced thing to say! "all klansmen hang African Americans" is like saying, "all African Americans eat watermelon!" fine, whatever. there's a Home Depot around the corner.	rope, please, and hurry. he's getting away

830. Davy Jones' locker

by mandingo on August 17, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Davy Jones' locker by mandingo 8-17-07
arrrrr, welcome to Davey Jones' locker, ye sexy men. take off ye shirt and commence scrubbing me poop deck with baby oil	are you talking to me? no, eely. i be practicin	practicing for what? the glorious day the Gay Cruise line "goes down" and "plunders me booty"

831. Artificial inelegance

by boorite on August 9, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Artificial inelegance by boorite 8-09-07
Thank you for laying out my tactical stealth suit, Valetron!	Evildoers beware! Blindman AWAAAAAY!	*snicker*

832. Dracula!

by mandingo on July 27, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Dracula! by mandingo 7-27-07
i've come to suck your blooood! no please god! GOD PLEASE NO! I HAVE A FAMILY! PLEASE!	so i'm like, "try it, you fuck. i've beat badder fuckers' asses than yours, you simpering little bitch. remember Frankenstein? haven't seen him around lately, have you?" wow, dude. you're pretty hardcore.	well i'm not gonna let some little Transylvanian pussy... ... ...is that a dracula costume? what, this? just laundry. so what happened next? you show him who's boss by sucking his black cock?

833. Chic Norris

by andydougan on July 18, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Chic Norris by andydougan 7-18-07
const unsigned char * const bmprgb=(((BITMAP *)bitmaps[0][checkbmp].dat)->line[yyy-((yyy/((BITMAP *)bitmaps[1][checkbmp].dat)->h)*(bitmaps[2][checkbmp].dat)->h)]); Ugh. Why the shit won't this compile?	You need to cast that third dat member to a BITMAP pointer. But you shouldn't have got yourself into that mess in the first place. C++ is type-safe for a reason, you know.	Is there anything John Smeaton can't do?? Boot fuck!