Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1451. Harping on

by TheGovernor on March 18, 2015
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Harping on by TheGovernor 3-18-15
We're having an Irish Party for 'Paddys day, you're supposed to be wearing something green, not any old fancy dress. Well I thought I'd dress as something that exemplifies the Irish experience,	so I've come as a Pint of Guinness

1452. Obama Ain't Here

by four_legged_tripod on March 10, 2015
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Obama Ain't Here by four_legged_tripod 3-10-15
ALIEN!!! ALIEN!!!	I'm not an alien! You are! Am not! You are! And I can prove it. On the count of three, we'll both take off our suits. 1... 2... 3!	Damn it!

1453. Martian Jesus Oonga Boonga'd for your sins.

by Pandeist on March 8, 2015
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Martian Jesus Oonga Boonga'd for your sins. by Pandeist 3-08-15
Jesus!! What are you doing here on Mars? Oh, I'm not Earth Jesus, I'm Martian Jesus.	So you died for Martian sins? Yep. And believe me, it's a weird bag. Like, on Mars, it's a sin to frottage your neighbor's cerebellum. Or to contemplate cottage cheese.	Wow, you were crucified here for shit like that? Oh, there's no crucifiction on Mars. Only death by oonga-boonga.

1454. Christmas Pun

by four_legged_tripod on December 18, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Christmas Pun by four_legged_tripod 12-18-14
Excuse me. Yes sir?	There's a problem with my order. And what problem is that sir?	You served my eggs benedict on a hub cap. Why? Cuz there's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.

1455. Oh, Deer

by four_legged_tripod on December 16, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Oh, Deer by four_legged_tripod 12-16-14
Somewhere in Russia... Comrade Rudolph, could you settle an arguement for me? Sure. What about?	My husband said it was raining last night but I was sure I felt snow. It was raining.	How can you be so sure? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.

1456. B.O.A.T.S. - I Suspect My Daughter Was Sent By Cthulhu (1)

by ZMannZilla on October 12, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

B.O.A.T.S. - I Suspect My Daughter Was Sent By Cthulhu (1) by ZMannZilla 10-12-14
Mmmmm, spicy liver sausage with onions! Now I'll just put it on the plate and... DADDY I WANT SOME	You SAY you want some, honey, but like every other time I let you try some, you just spit it on the floor and cry. PRECISELY, fat-man! 'Tis not the flavor of your favorite foods I desire, nay - it is the thrill I get from squeezing every last drop of joy out of your life!	I... what? Er... DADDY HUG?

1457. The Drunken Muse

by Murica on October 6, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

The Drunken Muse by Murica 10-06-14
Alright, this is going to sound crazy, but stay with me. Lay it on me, man.	Alright, instead of Voltron being made up of lions....he's made up of fleshlights. Clean ones or dirty ones?	What kind of a sick fuck would make Voltron out of dirty fleshlights? Clean ones. I think you're on to something.

1458. It's a good strategy

by evil_d on July 31, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

It's a good strategy by evil_d 7-31-14
Today's game continues a big rivalry between you and the home team, Jesse. Rumor is you've devised a new play for the occasion. That's right. See, we hike the ball to the quarterback, then he deflates it and eats it. Then he walks to the end zone and craps it out.	Then we leave the stadium, find a phone book, look up all the home team's grandmas, go to their houses, and crap on them.	Uh... and what do you call this new play? The Aristocrats!

1459. Comics about post-game interviews write themselves

by evil_d on July 25, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Comics about post-game interviews write themselves by evil_d 7-25-14
Tough loss today, Jerry. Where do you think you went wrong?	Well, do you remember the part where I threw the ball to the guy on the other team, and then we couldn't tackle him, and he got a touchdown? Yeah, I remember that part.	We shouldn't have done that part.

1460. Groovy! - Foxy Lady

by edoggydog on July 24, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Groovy! - Foxy Lady by edoggydog 7-24-14
Welcome back to Fox News... Groovy!	Today, President Obama did everything RIGHT! Meghan? As promised, I will now flash my boobies!	TA-DA!! Nice.

1461. CC548: They Also Lined Up For Beer In Alphabetical Order

by ZMannZilla on January 9, 2014
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

CC548: They Also Lined Up For Beer In Alphabetical Order by ZMannZilla 1-09-14
"The Brothers Who Have OCD", a limerick by ZMannZilla	When Brian O'Ceedee died / His septuplet siblings cried / But even a wake / is no place to vacate	The family traditions and pride Everyone grab a coaster!

1462. that old joke

by Trippingbillee on August 24, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

that old joke by Trippingbillee 8-24-13
Aw shucks. I guess I can tell you.	I crossed the road because	MAN THAT IS LIKE THE NINTH CHICKEN THAT I HAVE RUN OVER THIS MONTH

1463. FTC 164: One Way

by four_legged_tripod on August 6, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

FTC 164: One Way by four_legged_tripod 8-06-13
Kiss me, ya wench! I'd rather not...	Then what would you rather do? I'd rather just sit with you in my cabin and listen to my 1 Direction CDs.	So you threw her over board? You wouldn't have?

1464. Giving Charities a Black Eye

by four_legged_tripod on May 6, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Giving Charities a Black Eye by four_legged_tripod 5-06-13
Can I help you? I'm collecting money to help stop domestic violence. Would you care to donate a dollar?	I'm sorry, but not today. But it's only a dollar.	I know, but the answer is still no. LISTEN LADY, IF YOU DON'T DONATE A DOLLAR TODAY, I WILL BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN! UNDERSTAND?

1465. Helping the Victims Means Getting Off Your Ass

by brycekain on April 26, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Helping the Victims Means Getting Off Your Ass by brycekain 4-26-13
Good afternoon, sister. I am going door to door collecting for the victims in Boston.	Oh yes, I saw that on the news. I'll be praying for them. Or you could do something that'll actually HELP them and donate a dollar to the Red Cross...?	Mr. Christ, your followers are selfish, lazy cunts.

1466. Eh Hole

by choadwarrior on April 14, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Eh Hole by choadwarrior 4-14-13
How were the other people on your cycling tour? I was surrounded by Canadians with no sense of irony.	So either they didn't understand my nonsense, or they were just politely accepting it without comment.	It was just like being at work.

1467. CC526: "The CC526 Hoax" Now Available On Netflix Streaming

by ZMannZilla on January 31, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

CC526: "The CC526 Hoax" Now Available On Netflix Streaming by ZMannZilla 1-31-13
-----------------------THIS----------COMIC--------- Real simple: create a comic making fun of any famous hoax you you want, past or present (or even future, if you think you can foresee one). Judging probably sooner than later. Cheerio! (oh boy i hope i get like a million pages of entries)	------------IS-----------------BASED-----------------ON----------------A-------- >click preview then save >log out as RandomComicLayoutGuy >feel itchy >get up >scratch my nuts >nuts are moist >fingers are moist >sniff fingers UGH WHY'D I DO THAT?! >rub hand on my pants	----------TRUE---------STORY---------------------- (only like 4 entries and none of them are ZMannZilla?!) >log in as edoggydog Boy, this CC is clanking off the front of the rim like a Dwight Howard freethrow! Good job, RandomComicFag!!

1468. Out of Left Field

by four_legged_tripod on October 3, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Out of Left Field by four_legged_tripod 10-03-12
What's this? It's your outstanding balance.	It says I still owe $5000.00! Yes. And?	What's so fucking outstanding about that?

1469. Yes I went there

by TheGovernor on July 4, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Yes I went there by TheGovernor 7-04-12
I'm afraid Lord Vader that the Death Star plans are not in the main computer anymore Where are they?	They were uploaded and released on wookieleaks on the galactic internet, everyone has a copy, here I have it on my 'droid phone I can't seem to get it working on my iPad,	You need to have Jawa enabled

1470. The Twelve Punkeys

by TheGovernor on May 30, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

The Twelve Punkeys by TheGovernor 5-30-12
2065 AD - Shelter QX1, Ottawa, Canada We've traced the beginning of the end of civilisation to fifty forum comic contests on that website . We need to send you back in time to stop this ever happening I think I recall the ones you mean, send me back.	2012 AD - Brad's House *CC500: Wirthling Returns and still sucks ... CC512: Rotor Turbines! ... CC524: Cornholing for beginners... CC538:- Kajun and Andy's Happy hour... CC549 : Spankling eats a cucumber* Dear lord it's worse than I remembered	*Forum threads deleted* *Date stamps rearranged* Humanity is saved

1471. Real Life: Old Folks Home

by four_legged_tripod on May 11, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Real Life: Old Folks Home by four_legged_tripod 5-11-12
Just got off the phone with mom. She's doing her will. Really?	She said if she ever can't take care of herself she will not go to a home and she refuses to live with my brother. She said she wants to live with us. Wow.	What the hell did we ever do to deserve that kind of punishment?

1472. Real Life: BFF

by four_legged_tripod on May 5, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Real Life: BFF by four_legged_tripod 5-05-12
Have I ever told you that you're my best friend?	Aww. That's so sweet. Thank you. No problem.	Of course I don't have much of a choice since you won't let me hang out with any of my other friends anymore.

1473. The Two "Birdso" Malones

by biped on May 2, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

The Two "Birdso" Malones by biped 5-02-12
They call me "Birdso. "Birdso" Malone. What a coincidence. They call me "Birdso" Malone, too.		You knew it had to happen someday, "Birdso."

1474. Slipped Update

by biped on April 22, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Slipped Update by biped 4-22-12
And now, the latest updates on the case of George Zimmerman and Trayvon-- OH MY GOD, I AM GETTING SO... FUCKING...TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT THAT SHIT!!!	Uh (ahem)...said Rush Limbaugh on his radio show recently. Back after these messages.	Nice save. Thank god for Rush Limbaugh.

1475. Hubert's Continuing Quest For Love

by biped on March 16, 2012
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Hubert's Continuing Quest For Love by biped 3-16-12
Speaking of music, one of my favorite bands is Genesis. That is, before Peter Gabriel-- Oh, I just LOVE "I Can't Dance" and "Invisible Touch"! They're my favorite pop band!		Well? How did this one go? Fine, Mother. Right up until the point when I had to kill her.

1476. Bad News/Good News

by boloboffin on November 22, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Bad News/Good News by boloboffin 11-22-11
Well, the bad news is that my car radio got jacked back in the spring and I haven't been able to replace it.	The good news is I'm not hearing "Christmas Shoes" five times an hour.

1477. Sally in: "Why?"

by biped on October 22, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Sally in: "Why?" by biped 10-22-11
Mommy, why is there so much hate and killing in the world? Uh...well...I guess it's because there are so many bad people, sweetie.	I hate bad people. Why can't they just kill them all? Kill them all--and let God sort them out?	Awww...our little girl's growing up.

1478. A Pun Based On The Star Trek TNG Episode "Chain Of Command"

by ZMannZilla on October 15, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

A Pun Based On The Star Trek TNG Episode "Chain Of Command" by ZMannZilla 10-15-11
Cardassians make horrible bartenders... I have completed your drink order. That will be $10. But I ordered 4 Bud Lights. At $2 each, that should be $8.	Oh, but I think you are mistaken, sir. I strongly suggest you look again. Nope, still the same amount of Bud Lights. I think you're trying to rip me off.	It would be most unfortunate if my bouncer was forced to get involved... THERE! ARE!! FOUR!!! LIGHTS!!!!

1479. But That's Not All

by choadwarrior on October 11, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

But That's Not All by choadwarrior 10-11-11
Since nobody big has died recently, Sir Elton John has blessed us with an appearance and a new song written in tribute of the dearly departed... ♫♫Goodbye Don Lapre, even though I didn't know thee, when I was up late you tried to sell tiny ads to me...	♫♫And it seemed to me, you lived your life like an infomercial dope; But I never thought you'd twist in jail hung by your own rope.	♫♫ And I would have liked to know you, but I was just a kid. You made more money off your customers than those who followed your system did.

1480. If I Had a Dollar

by choadwarrior on September 11, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

If I Had a Dollar by choadwarrior 9-11-11
for every time Your	I heard this birthday	I'd give it to 9/11 survivors. Sucks.

1481. Smell My Finger!

by four_legged_tripod on August 24, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Smell My Finger! by four_legged_tripod 8-24-11
Good news Pete! I spoke with the writers and they agreed to change your catch phrase! What is it?	"This is my bowl of happiness. Don't fuck with my bowl of happiness!" I don't know J.J. Let me try it out and see how it feels.	They need you on set in five Mr. Godwell. This is my bowl of happiness! Don't fuck with my bowl of happiness!

1482. Smell My Finger!

by four_legged_tripod on August 24, 2011
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Smell My Finger! by four_legged_tripod 8-24-11
Hey, Peter baby! How'd it go last night? Peter? Come on. Talk to me.	It couldn't have been that bad could it? Care to smell my finger?	*sniff* So ass rape smells like copper tubing and the tears of an eight year old huh? Who knew?