Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1601. NOT RANDOM (breakin the law, breakin the law)

by mandingo on September 24, 2005
Rating: 7.95 (22 votes)

NOT RANDOM (breakin the law, breakin the law) by mandingo 9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!! why 40 days?	because that's how long the jews wandered in the desert that was 40 YEARS	40 years later... no one is sure where the white gooey substance came from, but it seems to be completely covering the earth reports have kids making snow angels in it, and moms putting it in their soup

1602. The God Couple - Episode 3

by fuzzyman on April 15, 2005
Rating: 7.95 (22 votes)

The God Couple - Episode 3 by fuzzyman 4-15-05
Loaves and fishes again? Jesus Christ! Yes?		You know, if you're going to do that every time I swear, I'll have to ask you to move out. If you'd swear in your own religion, this wouldn't be a problem!

1603. Obedience

by choadwarrior on May 17, 2005
Rating: 7.94 (51 votes)

Obedience by choadwarrior 5-17-05
Are we going to cross? We need to wait for the signal.	There's nobody around. Trust me.	Why should I trust you? If there's one thing I know, it's not to break seemingly petty laws when you're carrying as many drugs as I am now.

1604. Cheeseburger

by BobCheeseburger on May 29, 2006
Rating: 7.94 (34 votes)

Cheeseburger by BobCheeseburger 5-29-06
Tell me, if you could have one wish, what would it be? Hmm. You could take the nails out of my feet?		No. I like the nails. Then I'd like a pony.

1605. Hank Watches Television 1 : Message From God

by ComedyGeek on April 7, 2009
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Hank Watches Television 1 : Message From God by ComedyGeek 4-07-09
And now, a message from God.	QUIT FUCKING AROUND.	That was God, your Lord and Creator. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... Jessica Alba sings! Finally!

1606. Water Cooler #5: Meeting

by Ungreat on February 27, 2009
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Water Cooler #5: Meeting by Ungreat 2-27-09
At the morning meeting.... The person chosen for the regional manager position will go through the same tried and tested process the company has always used.		Now if you will please gather up your weapons we can proceed to the ring of death.

1607. Tee Hee Shirt

by vagrancy on December 3, 2008
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Tee Hee Shirt by vagrancy 12-03-08
I met a guy yesterday and his shirt said something funny. What did it say?	It said, "I give hugs not drugs." That's pretty clever.	He also asked for my number and wanted to know if I was free this weekend. Maybe his shirt should've said, "I smoke cocks, not rocks."

1608. By Jove I Think He's Got It

by Hatrix on July 16, 2008
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

By Jove I Think He's Got It by Hatrix 7-16-08
Mom there's a moron at the door! ?	What do you want? Well first of all I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We're Mormons. You may want to correct your son.	Why?

1609. Spartan Trickery

by The_young_scot on February 20, 2008
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Spartan Trickery by The_young_scot 2-20-08
SPARTANS!! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!?!	AWWOOUUUGH! AWWOOUUUGH!	AWWOOUUUGH! PERSIAN SPY!

1610. Oh, Donna 4

by mandingo on February 11, 2008
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Oh, Donna 4 by mandingo 2-11-08
boy, i gotta be honest with you. i was a bit worried when you said you'd been in a mental institute, but you've seemed perfectly sane to me and the sex has been FANTASTIC i can see why you'd be nervous, but trust me, i'm all better now. no more imagining murdering blondes. no more trying to save Neptune... and you're right, the sex HAS been great!	especially that threesome with Rick! threesome with Rick?	can't she see you? no, John. only you can see me. only you can save Estonia

1611. Alright... Let's SETTLE this score!

by Cre8tive13 on December 23, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Alright... Let's SETTLE this score! by Cre8tive13 12-23-07
HEY... you and I have a score to settle!!! Oh yeah, darn right we do!	2 mins. later.... So in the final scene, I figure if the main character, Ben sings "La, La, La, Fa-la-laaaaaa' from forte to pianissimo, that would work. In the key of D minor, right?	Of course. I think that would sound wonderful! Good job!

1612. Ray-Ray The Ex-Gay

by boloboffin on October 30, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Ray-Ray The Ex-Gay by boloboffin 10-30-07
Hi. I'm Ray-Ray. I'm an ex-gay. A what?	An ex-gay. That means I used to submit to same sex attraction, but through the power of Jesus, I have been liberated from my sin! Praise Jesus! So, Ray-Ray, do you not want to suck cock at all, or do you still get that itch in the back of your throat?	I... Uh... I confess that Satan can still tempt me, but that just means I'm -- Gay.

1613. CC 368: Only One of Them Has the Magic Fingers

by Boring on September 16, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

CC 368: Only One of Them Has the Magic Fingers by Boring 9-16-07

1614. Death 'n' Semantics

by Hatrix on August 29, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Death 'n' Semantics by Hatrix 8-29-07
I am not dead. If I were dead I would be in HEAVEN where all the faithful go. The LORD will show me the way I am SURE of that. Why do I get all the crazies?	Fine, believe what you like. I'm just a greeter. No one said anything about sticking around to help you with your mental illness.	It's not a mental illness it's called FAITH. Potato, poTAHto...

1615. Golgotha

by mandingo on August 17, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Golgotha by mandingo 8-17-07
my god, my god, why have you forsaken me?	ACK! BEES!	hehe do me right now.

1616. Life Is Funny

by Hatrix on August 16, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Life Is Funny by Hatrix 8-16-07
	Would you believe I paid off my house AND started a great new job today? Yup.

1617. The apocalypse ain't what it used to be.

by JStrong on August 14, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

The apocalypse ain't what it used to be. by JStrong 8-14-07
Hey, what's wrong, buddy? I dunno... When I found out that I'd survived the apocolypse, I thought I'd get some sort of radiation induced super power.	But you do, little buddy. You have the power to make me smile.	Was that too forward? I just... I just think you're nice. Please put your pants back on.

1618. Family Man #2

by bike on August 7, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Family Man #2 by bike 8-07-07
These new birth control pills are totally messing with my period	Yesterday, all I did was spot, but today my flow was really thick... almost like mucus.	So, what do you want to do for dinner?

1619. double-wide cubicle

by mandingo on July 3, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

double-wide cubicle by mandingo 7-03-07
why are you looking at your feet? i'm trying to remember what they say about the size of a man's feet. i thought if i saw mine, maybe it would help.	any luck? unfortunately, i can't see them past my enormous cock.

1620. war of attrition

by mandingo on July 3, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

war of attrition by mandingo 7-03-07
	so how long you gonna balance that stupid book on your head? i guess until you take off that ridiculous blue cape.

1621. New Copmic Pt. 1

by Humpenstein on June 7, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

New Copmic Pt. 1

Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you know the odds of escaping a pursuing police police officer in a high-speed automobile chase?

by Humpenstein, 6-07-07

1622. Ralph

by AccentuateNegative on March 3, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Ralph by AccentuateNegative 3-03-07
I can't believe I threw up in your bed last night. You were pretty drunk.	I'm SOOOOO sorry. It's okay.	So you're not mad at me? I was when you were making the puke angel.

1623. Retronarcissus 1: My bluesy tuesday

by 0401040 on January 22, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Retronarcissus 1: My bluesy tuesday by 0401040 1-22-07
Meanwhile, far above the Planet Earth. So, yeah, I'm sorry I missed your call, but I was... Captain, I'm over here. You don't have to keep talking to me on the communicator.		Listen, I'll have to call you back later.

1624. 2007 Sports Prediction

by choadwarrior on January 1, 2007
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

2007 Sports Prediction by choadwarrior 1-01-07
Superbowl Sunday: In a break from tradition, President Bush did not call the locker room of the winning Superbowl team...	Instead, he called the team losing at halftime to congratulate them on their victory.	He also advised them to put more players on the field.

1625. Top Five Ways to Get Kicked Out of Book Store: ONE

by christopher7murphy on November 29, 2006
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Top Five Ways to Get Kicked Out of Book Store: ONE by christopher7murphy 11-29-06
Stand at the counter and give away the endings of any books that are purchased. Oooo! In that one, the lawyer did it. ARRRRRG!!!!!!!	In that one the wizard dies. ARRRRRG!!!!!!!	In this one, Sam eats the green eggs & ham. Waaaahh!!!!

1626. CC 303

by mandingo on November 2, 2005
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

CC 303 by mandingo 11-02-05
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, YOU FUCK! YOU NO GOOD, FUCK! YOU BOUNCED CHECK AT THE SPERM BANK!	YOU WHORE OF A NEIGHBOR, YOU BITCH OF A MAN, YOU CRUSTY COCKRING ON THE DONG OF THE AIDS MONKEY!	not a fan of Snickers, i take it

1627. Sabbatical

by choadwarrior on April 27, 2005
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Sabbatical by choadwarrior 4-27-05
Why do you drink so much coffee?	Coffee helps me get away from my desk from time-to-time to clear my mind.	Ahh, piss and quiet.

1628. Pimpburger

by Ogyaf on February 5, 2004
Rating: 7.94 (17 votes)

Pimpburger by Ogyaf 2-05-04
Welcome to Pimpburger. May I take your order?	I'll have Meal Number Three	Would you like bitches with that?

1629. My Fucking Neighbors

by choadwarrior on November 24, 2003
Rating: 7.93 (46 votes)

My Fucking Neighbors by choadwarrior 11-24-03
THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK One thing all my neighbors have had in common is the noise they make when they fuck. First it starts off slow...	THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK Then it gets really fast and she lets out two or three moans. OOOOOH! OOOOOH!	I don't think I've ever heard it go on for more then three minutes. That apartment must have been built on an old Indian premature ejaculation ground.

1630. Senioritis

by choadwarrior on June 13, 2006
Rating: 7.93 (41 votes)

Senioritis by choadwarrior 6-13-06
My son finally graduates from high school on Friday.	I suppose I should have known that, since you talk about him constantly.	Time really flies when you don't give a shit.

1631. YOU MONSTER

by mandingo on July 11, 2005
Rating: 7.93 (41 votes)

YOU MONSTER by mandingo 7-11-05
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?	i'm sawing our first born in half I KNOW!	EVER HEARD OF NEWSPAPER?

1632. Canadian Bears

by Rabid_Weasle on September 22, 2003
Rating: 7.93 (41 votes)

Canadian Bears by Rabid_Weasle 9-22-03
Hey, where are your arms? Well... I'm a Canadian bear.	So....?	I don't have the right to bear arms.

1633. cc375: Rat tail

by mandingo on December 3, 2007
Rating: 7.93 (29 votes)

cc375: Rat tail by mandingo 12-03-07
THERE WAS A RAT TAIL IN MY FRIES!!! rat tail	THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!! rat tail, rat tail	RAT TAIL, RAT TAIL, RAT TAIL! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, CLYDE?? looking for it on the register so i can charge you for it