Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1551. Let's roll, ya dobber

by andydougan on July 4, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Let's roll, ya dobber by andydougan 7-04-07
John Smeaton, the bravest man alive So these terrorists are comin at us wi fuckin petrol boambs. An ah'm like, ah'm no havin this, an ah fuckin set aboot thum, know?	Ah booted that cunt's cunt so hard ma fuckin Achilles tendon snapped. Now thae cunts know no ae fuckin mess! Yas! I've never been north of the Chilterns, so I have no idea what you just said. But this'll have to do. I have a baccarat game in half an hour.	At least we know that we are a strong people who will not be cowed by such craven acts. Next: we were going to show Die Hard 2, but that's got airports blowing up so it might make our viewers cry. Here's Fried Green Tomatoes instead.

1552. corndog8

by mandingo on June 8, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

corndog8 by mandingo 6-08-07
GET OUT HERE AND TAKE MY ORDER		go way!

1553. your bartender hates you: don't let me choose, really.

by mycatdrinkswine on June 2, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

your bartender hates you: don't let me choose, really. by mycatdrinkswine 6-02-07
gimme a shot of 151. we don't have that.	uh then give me some jager... er no, tequila - wait you only have cuervo? um... just give me a shot of your stongest liquor. everything i have is roughly the same proof.	i don't care then, whatever you want to give me. well, then. let's see which liquor has barflies in the pour spout.

1554. Political correctness?

by Xion on April 9, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Political correctness? by Xion 4-09-07
Hey, do you think it's ok to make jokes about rape yet?		You make a compelling point.

1555. Retronarcissus 4: Boss odb-3 bass overdrive

by 0401040 on January 25, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Retronarcissus 4: Boss odb-3 bass overdrive by 0401040 1-25-07
And then, on Thaylar Prime... Any life signs? I can't tell. The tetracorder seems to be malfunctioning due to the radiation.	Yo, sexy-pants, run an orbital scan for me sweetie.	What? Captain, I must insist you stop referring to Lieutenant Brian Selkirk as sexy-pants.

1556. You're a Book Store, Aintcha?

by christopher7murphy on January 15, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 1-15-07
Mam? Let me get this correct...	Before you read a book, you go through it with a magic marker and cross out all the dirty parts?	Oh heavens, no! I CIRCLE them!

1557. Not quite.

by Xion on January 14, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Not quite. by Xion 1-14-07
Being as you are, an actress in pornographic films, we want to know... which thick white fluid you like the most?		I love yoghurt if thats what your trying to insinuate.

1558. happy feel good comic

by mandingo on January 6, 2007
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

happy feel good comic by mandingo 1-06-07
Marital Aids have you been a bad little penguin? so bad. oh god, so bad	Marital Aids i just got back from the doctor, Frank. your infidelities have killed us both i'm so sorry, Ellen!	i don't know what's more depressing - the middle frame of this comic or the fact that i caught you masturbating to it pregnant chicks are hot

1559. Totalmente a mano

by kramer_vs_kramer on December 7, 2006
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Totalmente a mano by kramer_vs_kramer 12-07-06
Excuse me. Where could I find some orange juice? I'd guess at a fake tan shop in Jerusalem.

1560. CC 334: Torment Rides A Ball

by biped on October 7, 2006
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

CC 334: Torment Rides A Ball by biped 10-07-06
I told you fucking pigs already--I'm not gonna talk. I don't care what the fuck you do. Okay tough guy, you asked for it. Al, send him in.	HEE HAW!!! ME DOG-ON-BALL!!! WHO AM YOU, BUTTFACE? BEEP-BEEP!!! ME RACE CAR!!! GRRRRRRR!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! MEOW!!!	One minute later... ...so, was that before or after you axe-murdered and dismembered the entire Burton family? Oh, before. See, I hadn't even finished running the Wilsons through the woodchipper yet.

1561. bill kill

by mandingo on July 19, 2006
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

bill kill by mandingo 7-19-06
hey, Bill, guess who came out of the closet today? you better have had a search warrant!		i mean "who?"

1562. Zombies!

by Injokester on March 24, 2006
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Zombies! by Injokester 3-24-06
Crap, this is not good, we're out of boards and this won't hold the zombies for long. What else can we use? Hmmm...

1563. Thoughts on 9-11

by HCRoyall on September 12, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Thoughts on 9-11 by HCRoyall 9-12-05
Man, it sucks having 9-11 as my birthday. I've got you beat.	How is Christmas worse than the anniversary of such a tragedy? On my birthday, I have to give presents to everyone else.	You win.

1564. evil eats alone

by mandingo on August 15, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

evil eats alone by mandingo 8-15-05
grand lord of the dark dominion, party of one, grand lord of the dark dominion		be nice if she gave a last name

1565. WoW!

by Splunge on August 11, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

WoW! by Splunge 8-11-05
In local news, Splunge cancelled his World of Warcraft account today.	He explained," Well it was getting really boring. I've been playing since beta and I just couldn't take the grind anymore. But I am kind of sad about it."	Other players of the game were quite sympathetic, saying,"Can I have your stuff? Fucking L4M3r. And, OMFG!!!111!!!2 LOLZOR WTF NOOB."

1566. poker glossary: Sit n Go

by mandingo on August 6, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

poker glossary: Sit n Go by mandingo 8-06-05
what are you doing? playing a Sit n Go	a Sit n Go is a single table poker tournament where 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places all finish in the money who are you talking to?	no one you're creeping me out

1567. To Serve Robot-Kind #6

by ZMannZilla on July 29, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

To Serve Robot-Kind #6 by ZMannZilla 7-29-05
Somewhere In Coal Mine #E2-47T... Hey, BrianTron! I just decided to stop by the ol' coal mine and see how you're doing... How am I DOING?! How do you THINK I'm doing!! That last batch of human slaves you sent me were utter CRAP!	How so...? The smaller ones wouldn't stop crying, the largest of them can't even crush a boulder with his hands, and I swear they're planning a revolt!	*snicker* Did you say the humans were revolting...? BobTron, seriously, not even RetardoTron would laugh at that punchline...

1568. adoption

by mandingo on July 12, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

adoption by mandingo 7-12-05
nnnn... nnn hey! little man's trying to say his first word! go ahead, white chocolate, you can do it!	nn... n... nigger	HE SAID MOMMY!

1569. a very brady christmas

by mandingo on July 5, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

a very brady christmas by mandingo 7-05-05
merry christmas, greg merry christmas, dad	merry christmas, peter merry christmas, dad	merry christmas, bobby FUCKOFF

1570. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on June 9, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 6-09-05
The interviews continue.... I'm The Pimp, baby. My powers are mackin' plain and simple. Women love and fear me. It's the skills, baby. The skills. 1...2...3... Maintain...Maintain....	I'm a specialist, baby. You see, you bring me in when you fight hoochies, hos or "Sailor Moon" lookin' bitches like you.... *SNAP*	Nice to see you showed restraint. They say he'll be eating solid food again in a few months. Hey, what can I say....pimpin' ain't easy.

1571. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on May 26, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 5-26-05
I know it sounds weird, Toro, but I think we should just let Captain Justice continue to act....well, normal. Things have gotten better, I must admit. Still....	I know, it's sounds wrong. But Orgo said as long as we prevent another serious blow to his head for at least a couple months, this new personality will take over. *sigh* Ok. OMNIBUS.....where is Captain Justice right now?	....CAPTAIN JUSTICE IS CURRENTLY RESCUING PEOPLE FROM A ROCKSLIDE IN CALIFORNIA. HE WAS IN SUCH A HURRY HE FORGOT HIS HELMET.... Dammit. Oh yeah right, like you didn't see that one coming.

1572. The God Couple - Episode 5

by fuzzyman on April 16, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

The God Couple - Episode 5 by fuzzyman 4-16-05
What the hell? JESUS! Get over here, dammit! You rang, Buddha?	The laundry came out pink! My favorite robe is ruined! Any idea how that could have happened? Nope! *snicker*	YOU CHANGED THE WATER INTO WINE AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU!!?? Guilty! *snck*

1573. White Guys

by four_legged_tripod on September 23, 2013
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

White Guys by four_legged_tripod 9-23-13
So who did you vote for? I, OF COURSE, VOTED FOR OBAMA! TWICE!	Why are you talking so loud? Oh! There's a black guy sitting at the table behind me isn't there? Yep.	We should move tables. Totally!

1574. Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!"

by Ranger77 on February 28, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!" by Ranger77 2-28-05
"Monkballahtology is really gaining popularity. Did you see all the movie stars with empty vanilla yogurt cups last night at the Oscars?" It's a travesty. These monks are con artists and we who follow the Kabbalah resent this cheap pseudo religious ploy. As a representative of the Church of Scientology, I can say we are not amused by celebrity induced fakery.	"In all fairness some have accused your respective faiths with using the same tactics." We've been around longer my friend. Same here and we don't engage in cheap theatrics and devious reactive-mind oriented marketing.	"You may be right....I've just learned that the monks are auctioning their rights to Monkballahtology on Ebay. I guess they were in it for the money after all. Do you think....Hey!" Dammit, what was my PayPal password.... Now maybe Travolta will stop bugging us about those damn monkeys.

1575. Life on the Set #7: SAG Awards Intro Rehearsal

by IHMAWTD on February 5, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Life on the Set #7: SAG Awards Intro Rehearsal by IHMAWTD 2-05-05
When I was in 4th grade, a girl I liked kissed me during recess. Immediately following the kiss, I vomited all over her brand new dress.	I then fell to the ground and started spasming uncontrollably. I told her I was suffering an incurable disease, and my reaction was not because of her. She believed me.	My name's Curtis, and I'm an actor.

1576. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on January 9, 2005
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 1-09-05
Captain, this whole OMNIBUS thing is just strange. Who did you BUY an sentient computer system from anyway? Did you run a security check on them? Security....check. Hmmm...that would have been a good idea I suppose.....	Brilliant. I can't believe that the Defender's League's new AI system was purchased from DEMONient. It was from one of our resellers actually. It's also being financed by us. Our special 17.5% APR.	Of course, I did my part as well. The underlying OS of OMNIBUS is WindowsME. Egads! Mr. Gates you are truly more evil than I....

1577. Ranger's World presents: "Yep, It's True!"

by Ranger77 on September 15, 2004
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "Yep, It's True!" by Ranger77 9-15-04
Hey guys....I'm just trying to figure out this campaign and was wondering if you can help me? Of course young person. It's folks like you that will help us at the Kerry campaign get that Nazi Dubya out of office.	This Swift Boat thing....smells like a smear campaign to me. Of course it is. These vets going after Kerry's records are just a bunch of RNC cronies using deception and untruths to tarnish a reputation.	Ok. Now tell me about these CBS documents....lot of people are saying those Bush papers were forged. Dude, that was a misunderstanding. Don't worry about it. It'll blow over. So they didn't have PCs, HP printers and inkjet paper in the early 70's. Who knew?

1578. True Tales of Job Interviews (10)

by choadwarrior on May 12, 2004
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

True Tales of Job Interviews (10) by choadwarrior 5-12-04
My name is Eric, I'll be conducting your interview. Nice to meet you.	So why did you leave your last job? That's a funny story, Kevin.	Actually, my name is still Eric. I really have to get off the liquor.

1579. Merry Commercemas, Morons Everywhere

by Scyess on December 22, 2003
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Merry Commercemas, Morons Everywhere by Scyess 12-22-03
♫Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock. Jingle Bell Time, to... ♫	BUY A CHRYSTLER!	♫ Fa la la la la, la la la Hefty brand trash bags.♫ Even though I'm long since desensitized to the condescension of it all, it still galls me to think this kind of shit actually sells products.

1580. Ranger's World: A Distant Breaking Wind (Part 8)

by Ranger77 on September 5, 2003
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World: A Distant Breaking Wind (Part 8) by Ranger77 9-05-03
B, I didn't mind much when you decided to make me the "geek" in this strip but this is just too much. I'm the Sys Admin for this strip not D&G. They don't own us yet! Eugene, I'm sorry but before they allow us VPN access to their network, D&G Info Security had to run an audit on us. I must say what they found is disturbing.	So I don't use any anti virus or client firewalls. I have an wireless access point and a Linux server running an old copy of Sendmail....but come on I'm a Sys Admin! I know what I'm doing!! They say your systems had been comprimised by so many malicious agents and spyware it was just a matter of who you weren't giving out information to.	"That's ridiculous. Who'd want to spy on me?!" This just in, Director. Eugene has renewed his subscription to bootygirls.com, downloaded a blurry version of Two Towers, and obtained a bunch of Babylon 5 soundtrack mp3s. How predictable. Felkins, contact our friends at the RIAA and the MPAA. Find out his password and post it on one of those trading message boards and oh yes, delete a few random files.

1581. Ranger's World: A Distant Breaking Wind (Part 2)

by Ranger77 on August 28, 2003
Rating: 8 (5 votes)

Ranger's World: A Distant Breaking Wind (Part 2) by Ranger77 8-28-03
"Well I'm glad to see everyone back in one place and normal again. Hope you guys don't mind my staff meetings." B, as long if it doesn't involve energy weapons and Microsoft products, I'm cool. I'm just glad to be myself again. Watching all that Lifetime television was making me loopy.	"Good. Today we have a bit of a situation that I'm not quite sure how to take. A major corporation wants to sponsor the strip." That's....interesting. I say go for it....its about time we get paid around here. Who's the company?	"A conglomerate called....let's see....D&G. Stands for Diss and Genuous." Should I get worried now or what? I would.