Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

301. L.A.ugh RIOT

by four_legged_tripod on June 18, 2012
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

L.A.ugh RIOT by four_legged_tripod 6-18-12
Hey, did you hear that Rodney King died? Stop right there!	What? Whenever a famous person dies you have to make some sort of joke about it. Plus I've already heard all of the jokes about it that I want to.	So you're saying that the Rodney King jokes have been beaten to death?

302. Double-Biff Clam Paradox

by biped on May 30, 2012
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Double-Biff Clam Paradox by biped 5-30-12
Biff, it's me--your future self. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT order the clams. But I love clams.	Chuh--I KNOW you love clams. I love clams. But take it from me--DO NOT order the clams. FUCK YOU, ME LOVE CLAMS. WAITER, ME WILL HAVE THE CLAMS.	EPILOGUE How did you know I was just pulling a funny time-joke on you? Because if the clams had killed me, you would not be alive to come back and warn me.

303. The Icing on the Cake

by four_legged_tripod on May 22, 2012
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

The Icing on the Cake by four_legged_tripod 5-22-12
So I came across your picture the other day. And?	No. I mean I literally came across your picture the other day. Ew. Gross. Why do you have to make my birthday so uncomfortable?	Oh, don't be that way, sis!

304. Bored at Work

by four_legged_tripod on February 21, 2012
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Bored at Work by four_legged_tripod 2-21-12
I'm ready for my close up!	Closer!	Too close!

305. Batty Betty Part III

by four_legged_tripod on February 15, 2012
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Batty Betty Part III by four_legged_tripod 2-15-12
Erin! I totally did it! I proved that Kevin was a vampire! I asked you to leave me out of this.	No, wait! You know how a vampire will die if you drive a wooden stake through his heart? Betty? What did you do?	wwwhhhyyy???

306. Athiests Across the year ...

by Culturejamming on December 25, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Athiests Across the year ... by Culturejamming 12-25-11
Atheist on July 4 "In god we trust?" what the hell does that mean? I don't trust god this is bullshit	Atheist on Thanksgiving I can't believe the president lead a prayer today this is bullshit. Why does our presisdent have to pander to an invisible sky man?	Atheist on Christmas What do you mean I have to work a half day today? IT'S CHRISTMAS!

307. Real Life: Ethnicity

by four_legged_tripod on November 23, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Real Life: Ethnicity by four_legged_tripod 11-23-11
Please pull your pants up. Don't be hatin' when I'm saggin'.	But you're not black. I feel a strong connection to black culture.	Name the blackest thing you've ever done. I once shopped at the Dollar Store.

308. Real Life: Pillow Talk

by four_legged_tripod on September 27, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Real Life: Pillow Talk by four_legged_tripod 9-27-11
Would you mind scooting over a bit? No problem.	*THUD* Ouch! You son of a bitch!	Oh. You meant scoot over the other way.

309. True Tales of Job Interviews (16)

by choadwarrior on August 1, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

True Tales of Job Interviews (16) by choadwarrior 8-01-11
I got my accounting degree at Brigham Young, which was the third-ranked business school by U.S. News and World Report when I graduated. I went to San Diego State University.	It was the third-ranked party school by Playboy my freshman year.	I'm the boss.

310. Guinness - Breaking Records in Inspiring Bad Business Ideas

by ladyjdotnet on July 30, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Guinness - Breaking Records in Inspiring Bad Business Ideas by ladyjdotnet 7-30-11
Okay. Okay. Okay. But listen. I gotta really great idea for a business. This oughtta be good.	Mmm-hmmm. It's an idea for a moving company name and slogan. Is this the one about "How Are You Gentlemen Movers - We Move Every Zig?"	No. No. Better! "Ex-Lax Movers - We'll Totally Move Your Shit!" Oooh, and a companion cleaning service! "Charmin Cleaners," for cleaning up the crap you left at the old place!

311. Two's Company

by four_legged_tripod on July 22, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Two's Company by four_legged_tripod 7-22-11
Damn baby, you got a nice rack! Did your penis just say something? No. It's my talking balls.	And I'm the best pair of looking balls you'll ever see. Your balls are hitting on me? They do that.	I'd offer to teabag you but I think I'd be way to big to fit in your mouth. They sure are full of themselves. They're just being ego-testicle.

312. Back to BASE

by evil_d on June 15, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Back to BASE by evil_d 6-15-11
You want to go BASE jumping? Absolutely not! It's much too dangerous! Aww! But all my friends are going to do it!	If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do that? I'm trying to!

313. B.O.A.T.S. - She Thought It Worked Like A Sewing Machine

by ZMannZilla on May 27, 2011
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

B.O.A.T.S. - She Thought It Worked Like A Sewing Machine by ZMannZilla 5-27-11
Welcome to Best Buy Geek Squad. I'm Zack and I'll be your geek. How can I geek you? I need a replacement foot pedal for my Apple IIe home computer.	Eh?! Oh wait... you think the mouse is a foot pedal? Wow, I thought I'd seen some stupid old people before, but you take the- By learning to operate the mouse with my foot, I am free to keep both hands on the keyboard at all times.	...actually, that's kind of brilliant, ma'am. I humbly apologize. Pwn3d.

314. CC476:What If Our Idea Of God Is Just Really Big Narcissism?

by ZMannZilla on May 19, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

CC476:What If Our Idea Of God Is Just Really Big Narcissism? by ZMannZilla 5-19-11
Aw man... I bet God is like, the biggest dinosaur ever, man. Like, just this huge thunder lizard party animal that only wants what's best for all living things. Oh totally. Except I bet God's more, like, a concept, or like an energy field or something. You want another hit of this awesomeness?	The next morning... *glub*	Father Noah, I just did a head count and I think we forgot the dinosaurs. Yeah, Our Bearded Lord totally said we could let those hippies drown.

315. Telephone Game 2

by mandingo on April 27, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Telephone Game 2 by mandingo 4-27-11
god watches Tenspeed and Brown Shoe	kill ze brown eyes and ze jews! HEIL HITLER!	what. the. fuck. haha, five bucks

316. Mystery Inc

by four_legged_tripod on March 30, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Mystery Inc by four_legged_tripod 3-30-11
Tell me again why we're doing this for our vacation? Because it will be fun. As the Velma character, you'll get the satisfaction of solving the crime, and as the Shaggy character I'll get to fuck a girl like Daphne.	But Shaggy doesn't fuck Daphne. Then who does he fuck?	Across town... Why did I just feel a creepy shiver run through my butthole?

317. "Laff-a-Day" Funnies #11

by biped on March 30, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

"Laff-a-Day" Funnies #11 by biped 3-30-11
Henderson...you're fired. Let me guess--this is about me screwing your wife, isn't it?	No, it's about your inexcusable mishandling of the Baxter account. Now get out.	Wait, what?

318. Being Tiger Blooded

by Smurph on March 26, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Being Tiger Blooded

How the hell did you manage to book us a holiday inside Charlie Sheen's head? Malkovich knows a guy.

by Smurph, 3-26-11

319. Avoiding Another Meltdown

by choadwarrior on March 18, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Avoiding Another Meltdown by choadwarrior 3-18-11
All of the cooling water is gone and we can't keep up with these hoses. Meltdown is inevitable if we don't come up with another plan.	The Americans said they know a Japanese radiation expert, but he has been in seclusion since they shamed him in 1962. If it's who I'm thinking of, he'll either destroy this place or save the day.	I told you, Kong, I'm out of the game.

320. Match.com fails again

by mandingo on March 1, 2011
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Match.com fails again by mandingo 3-01-11
man, my back is killing me. will you massage it for me? i'll massage the inside of your vagina with the outside of my cock		there. NOW will you massage my back for me? sorry. i would, but i don't wanna get whore all over my hands

321. A Date With Herbert 2

by biped on December 7, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

A Date With Herbert 2 by biped 12-07-10
Mmm-boy, me for some delicious spaghetti! Yum, yum, yum, spaghetti! Umm, actually, that may not be a good idea. You see, the spaghetti was a bit... err..."off" the last time I dined here.	Oh. Well then, I'll order the vermicelli. Can't go wrong with vermicelli, ha ha! Ha, ha.	...deadly viral organism. Usually exists only in vermin.

322. The Friendly Skies

by choadwarrior on November 17, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

The Friendly Skies by choadwarrior 11-17-10
Sir, before I let you on the plane, I'm going to have to ask you to enter the backscatter X-ray machine so we can look at your nude body to determine if you're a terrorist.	Can I chub up first? ...or, you can choose to have a pat-down.	Same question.

323. Extinction

by mandingo on November 10, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Extinction by mandingo 11-10-10
do say, Steve, is that an asteroid coming our way?!	you just want me to look up so you can pants me again DEAR GOD, IT'S ENORMOUS!! IF IT HITS US, IT'LL THROW UP SO MUCH VOLCANIC ASH, WE'LL BE EXTINCT WITHIN THE YEAR!!!!	THE YEAR?? *pants*

324. Weak end

by lukket on June 20, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Weak end by lukket 6-20-10
I think they have all left by now. Damn. What is the chance of locking yourself into the basement on a Friday?	What are the odds of my phone running out of batteries. Yeah.	Say, don't you have a company cell phone? Yeah. But it's strictly for business purposes.

325. More one-note characters

by ladyjdotnet on June 13, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

More one-note characters by ladyjdotnet 6-13-10
Mr. Mussel, the inappropriate schoolteacher... Hey, kid. Pull my finger!	...Stinky Willy, the hysterically funny homeless guy... I poop behind a dumpster!	...And the best one-note character of them all, Wilford Brimley! Diabeetus!

326. Suitability iii

by ladyjdotnet on May 29, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Suitability iii by ladyjdotnet 5-29-10
Would you be willing to take a case against one of the lawyers in the offices next door? The law is the law. If there's valid reason to bring suit, then to hell with professional courtesy. Which one are you suing?	Fink, from the offices of Fink, Fine & Gold. He didn't do a thing that he was paid to do, and tried to railroad me into a fraudulent suit! There's really no point in suing Fink. He's small time. You'd do much better suing Fine or Gold.	But it wasn't Fine or Gold that cheated me out of my money! Why would I sue them? You seem distraught. Did Mr. Fine or Mr. Gold touch you inappropriately, causing expensive- er, extensive, mental trauma?

327. 2d6

by LuckyGuess on May 27, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

2d6 by LuckyGuess 5-27-10
The barge floats quietly down the murky waters of the swamp. A feeling of creeping unease pervades the ship.	Inside the living quarters you find a young rogue. My name is Rochestette.	Since this is your third character this campaign, let's try and I give the captain a blowjob.

328. Spoiler #2

by ladyjdotnet on May 24, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Spoiler #2 by ladyjdotnet 5-24-10
Did you see last night's final episode of Lost? Nope.	Ever since you tried to spoil Harry Potter for me, I've been waiting for this! I'm going to spoil the ending of Lost for you! I wish I could help you get closure on a three-year-old joke, but I don't watch that show.

329. Let Me Scrub Up First

by four_legged_tripod on April 16, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Let Me Scrub Up First by four_legged_tripod 4-16-10
Wanna play doctor? Are you serious?	Yeah. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that.	Katie's mom just called. Do you know where Katie is? She's in the bathroom. Which reminds me, we need more ice for the bathtub and to find someone who needs a pair of 12-year-old kidneys.

330. New Original Flavor

by ladyjdotnet on April 13, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

New Original Flavor

There are no new ideas. I've heard that.

by ladyjdotnet, 4-13-10

331. God Gets An Idea

by four_legged_tripod on February 23, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

God Gets An Idea by four_legged_tripod 2-23-10

332. Living Next Door to Toms

by four_legged_tripod on February 11, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Living Next Door to Toms by four_legged_tripod 2-11-10
Wait for it...	Wait for it...	Woo hoo! Yeah baby! Nice tits! I really need to buy some blinds.

333. Sweets for the Sweet

by choadwarrior on January 24, 2010
Rating: 8.57 (7 votes)

Sweets for the Sweet by choadwarrior 1-24-10
Before we start our next round of Celebrity Jeopardy, why don't you tell us what charity you're playing for. Juvenile Diabetes.	And why did you choose that cause?	I told my publicist if I had to have a photo opportunity with sick kids, they couldn't have anything ugly or contagious.