Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2751. Left Holding the Bag

by four_legged_tripod on October 28, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Left Holding the Bag by four_legged_tripod 10-28-09
Dad, this hobo costume is making me hot and my candy bag is getting heavy. Here, let me hold your sack while you ring this next doorbell.	Hey dad? You holdin' my nut sack ain't doin' nothin' for my candy bag situation.

2752. Obviously, A Sand Witch

by umfumdisi on October 21, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Obviously, A Sand Witch by umfumdisi 10-21-09
How the hell am I going to get off this island?	Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat? Uh, here, have a coconut.	I should have asked her for a ride.

2753. CC 434 - also they tend to stink

by lukket on September 27, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

CC 434 - also they tend to stink by lukket 9-27-09
I'm so law abiding that I don't dare watch any movies with a 3.1 rating on IMDB.	With so few decimals, how can I know they're not Pi-rated?

2754. First mate Garth

by seanator on September 13, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

First mate Garth by seanator 9-13-09
One fine day... Yarr, first mate Garth, have ye' finished peeling the potatoes? I finished putting my cock in your potatoes	Excellent.. Wait what? I rubbed my johnson all over your potatoes, deal with it.	Deal with it? What the fuck? This is a DICTATORSHIP! Heh, more like a Dick tater ship.

2755. Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (2)

by biped on September 12, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Flakey Nakerson in: "Half-Bakey Flakey's New Snakey" (2) by biped 9-12-09
...and you can still here it in there, sort of crying a little... Holy SHIT!!! And you mean to tell me you didn't even TRY to grab, like, a knife or something, and CUT IT THE FUCK OUT? PFFFT!!!	Mommy, I had a great idea today if baby's still alive in the snake, and, and we could, like-- Flakey, you are a man now. It's time for your extensive sexual "joining" with the oldest living member of our clan.

2756. The Big Letdown

by biped on August 18, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

The Big Letdown by biped 8-18-09
Well...what with you getting that big promotion... and me winning the big church raffle... I just thought...well, I just thought... I know, dear. You thought that maybe...just maybe...we might finally get a visit from Congratulations Horse.	Well...goodnight... Goodnight, dear...	Ed? What if they lied? What if...what if there isn't really a Congratulations Horse at all? What if-- SHUT UP, EDNA!!! YOU KNOW HE CAN HEAR YOU!!! CONGRATULATIONS HORSE HEARS EVERYTHING!!!

2757. Sleezeball Snail: Cross Walkers

by four_legged_tripod on August 9, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Sleezeball Snail: Cross Walkers by four_legged_tripod 8-09-09
Forced to walk the earth for all eternity, Sleezeball encounters many people...	He could, if he wanted, use these encounters for the good of all mankind... Would you help a poor old woman across the street?	Or not... Are you nuts? I'm a snail for fuck's sake! Our two slow asses in the middle of the road just begs the title "Dead Dumb Asses Walking."

2758. How Pussy Changed From Cat to Vagina

by four_legged_tripod on July 15, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

How Pussy Changed From Cat to Vagina by four_legged_tripod 7-15-09
Baby, are you sure you're okay with me being blind? Other than the way you dress yourself, I love you for who you are. Meet me in my bedroom and I'll prove it. I'll go get more comfortable.	Oh yeah, baby. There you are. I love the way you're purring for me. Rawr?	10 minutes later John! What the fuck did you do to my pussy?

2759. Road Trip to Hell

by Beeko180 on June 15, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Road Trip to Hell by Beeko180 6-15-09
I told you we shouldn't have taken a left turn you idiot.	Larry???	Oh.

2760. Mighty Morphin' Menage a Trois

by TheGovernor on May 14, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Mighty Morphin' Menage a Trois by TheGovernor 5-14-09
Come Silver Power Defender, let us combine our bodies and form Super Ultra Mega Power Defender Yatta!	Perhaps we can also invite your friend, Gold Power Defender, to join us tonight aswell?	For the last time Red, Im not into Threesomes

2761. Save money everyday!

by seanator on May 13, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Save money everyday! by seanator 5-13-09
Money saving hotline... if you wanna save money and get your fast food even faster, just walk through the drivethrough!	Hide behind a car and time it so when the cashier is handing the food over you can swipe it and run.	Be careful, one time I went too soon and accidentally paid for the guy.

2762. Desperate Horsewives 2

by biped on April 25, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Desperate Horsewives 2 by biped 4-25-09
I think you'll find our reservation under the name of Long. Mrs. Gladys Long. Or, it could be under the name Long-Horsedick. Mrs. Anita Long-Horsedick.	Oh honey, you're going to be getting horrified stares like that for the rest of your life...! I don't care, Mom. If Horsedick doesn't suit them, they're just going to have to suck on it.	Oh my god! I could've died when they announced "LONG-HORSEDICK! TABLE FOR LONG-HORSEDICK!" Mother, you're just making it worse.

2763. Desperate Horsewives 1

by biped on April 25, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Desperate Horsewives 1 by biped 4-25-09
Hi, Anita! Just dropped by to see how the new Mrs.--err--Horsedick is doing today. Hi, Mom. You just missed Harry. Oh, did you see the new mailbox with our name on it?	Oh, yes. The pink daffodils are a lovely touch. And it says "HORSEDICK" in such nice... big...letters. That's Old English. Just like the towels and bed linens. And soon, our shrubs will spell it out across the lawn.	We'll have the marriage annulled. We'll move away. Or, we could have him killed-- Mother, we've had this discussion before. I'm a Horsedick now, and that's final.

2764. Penguins are racists

by evil_d on March 31, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Penguins are racists by evil_d 3-31-09
Why did the penguin cross the road? I don't know, why?	I don't know either, but at least he wasn't a chicken! Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one!	*sniff*

2765. CC419 - Bad thing, Worse thing.

by biped on March 6, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

CC419 - Bad thing, Worse thing. by biped 3-06-09
Bad thing... (groan)... I'm experiencing shortness of breath, and...and chest p-pains... Oh, my god, Dave. This could be serious. I'll drive you to the emergency room right away.	Worse thing... (groan)... I'm-- FOOD FIGHT!!!!!

2766. Screw you, I stretched the panel

by Hari_Nezumi on March 2, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Screw you, I stretched the panel by Hari_Nezumi 3-02-09
Maybe I'll check Facebook again...	No! I have a report to write! No more time wasting on this infernal machine! I will not let my mind wander any more! I am in control of my own destiny!	Oh! Bill's commented on my status!

2767. Santa Clause is cumming to town.

by Ungreat on February 27, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Santa Clause is cumming to town.

At the north pole.... Creeping into sleeping kids rooms and emptying your sack. You'll burn for that you sick bastard. But good boys and girls want my little presents.

by Ungreat, 2-27-09

2768. Zap

by FinnNYC on February 25, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Zap by FinnNYC 2-25-09
So, I was strapped to the table while the technician waited for the capacitors to charge... Seriously, why can't they charge that thing before they bring us in!?!	That's what I'm saying. The room is cold, I'm dying of boredom, those straps are NOT built for comfort. Totally. A little padding wouldn't kill them.	Not to mention the lights. RIGHT in my eyes! A fortune spent on that equipment and they can't afford a lampshade!?! Lights!?! ... Oh my god I'm blind!

2769. Subtle

by CanadianCheese on February 2, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Subtle by CanadianCheese 2-02-09
	Penis.	When you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever.

2770. Roommate Hunting Would Be Easier With A Gun

by attitudechicka on January 14, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Roommate Hunting Would Be Easier With A Gun by attitudechicka 1-14-09
Let's see... desperately seeking roommates. FREE RENT!	Hmm, free, eh? ...SHARE HOME... MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL ARRANGEMENT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...	EWWWWWW! I touched the ad. I touched the ad! Will the creepiness rub off on me? WAIT, DON'T CLICK THE BACK BUTTON!

2771. Fun Fact #1

by seanator on December 16, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Fun Fact #1 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! Because of the angle that the esophagus enters the stomach, horses are physically unable to vomit.	This phenomena is used to explain a horse's calm demeanor during a beastiality film.

2772. HENTAI XXX LOLITA CUMSHOT PUSSY FUCK PORN PR0N FISTING

by seanator on December 11, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

HENTAI XXX LOLITA CUMSHOT PUSSY FUCK PORN PR0N FISTING by seanator 12-11-08
One fine day... Now son, the new computer is mine, so I don't want you on it. okay dad...	later... WelCUM back Hentai4Eva! Who the hell is Eva? MOOOOOM!

2773. Hiccup

by AccentuateNegative on November 6, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Hiccup by AccentuateNegative 11-06-08
Do you think the Democrats will overturn Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell? Yeah.	So an 18 year-old gay kid could die for his country without the right to drink a beer or get married.	Then again, why would someone get married if they couldn't drink beer?

2774. Potato PoTAAAAAAAAAHHHto!

by Hatrix on November 2, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Potato PoTAAAAAAAAAHHHto! by Hatrix 11-02-08
Uh... I replaced your kidney with a baked potato in a radical new experimental surgery? No. I don't think so.	How about.. You were hanging kitchen curtains in the nude and fell on it. Yeah! That'll work, put that on the form. Thanks Michael. You're really saving my ass. Literally.	Right! Heh. Let me just extract that for you... Ok but ... take your time.

2775. Why the Wilberforce Abolitionists were retarded

by RetardedHistory on October 21, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Why the Wilberforce Abolitionists were retarded by RetardedHistory 10-21-08
And how the Americans treat their negroes! It would make you cry, Horace, honestly. I know!	They should look to a country like Britain for lessons on how to treat every man with fairness and personal liberty!	Pardon me boss, ah bin working for 35 hours straight, can I 'ave me lunch break now please? Do you want me to have you whipped again?

2776. Alpha Versions - The Bible

by Creature_From_Beyond on October 11, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Alpha Versions - The Bible by Creature_From_Beyond 10-11-08
On second thought, I don't want to die for your sins. Could someone please let me down from here?	Guys?	...

2777. Anxiety

by FinnNYC on June 5, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Anxiety by FinnNYC 6-05-08
Hey Gene, I've got a joke for you. Shoot.	How many scientists does it take to clean up some monkey poop once in awhile? ...um, I don't know. How many?	More that we've got around here, that's for damn sure! ...You need to get out of this Paxil trial. You're losin' it.

2778. Why LOL Catz R Only 1un PanL

by Hatrix on May 17, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Why LOL Catz R Only 1un PanL by Hatrix 5-17-08
I can haz cheezburgr?		bitch?

2779. You're a Book Store, Aintcha

by christopher7murphy on May 4, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha by christopher7murphy 5-04-08
Somebody help! She after the Justice League! I did not kill ROBERT Jordan...and now everyone will think I killed HAL Jordan, the Green Lantern.	Meanwhile...back at the Book Store. Can I help you....EGADS! It's Lex Luthor, greatest criminal mind of the century! Hello. I'm looking for a book on how to kill a Green Lantern.	I think it has a yellow cover.

2780. Calm a llama down

by mandingo on April 24, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Calm a llama down by mandingo 4-24-08
no gang signs!	then i burst out of there just as quickly as i'd burst in! you should've seen the look on the coroner's face! ...i grabbed you on the way out. i had to have you. so vibrant and full of life	not literally of course

2781. Several American Ways

by Scyess on April 9, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Several American Ways by Scyess 4-09-08
Torture you all me want, American! This body feels pain, but it is only a dwelling place for my soul, which you cannot touch. Well, actually...	Your soul moved out three weeks ago into my brand new, fully-furnished, high-rise apartment complex. Sorry, man. The terms were really good. You can keep the security deposit.	I knew that no pets policy was going to bite me in the ass someday. Now let's get back to business. Tell me where you hid my Scrabble board, or else.

2782. CC 384b

by habnem on March 25, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

CC 384b by habnem 3-25-08
It's 3 a.m. in America... Honey, I have a really bad headache. OK. I'll go get you an aspirin.	Your family is sound asleep... !@#$% aspirin bottle! Why do these things have to be so hard to open?!	Who do you want in the White House? I'm John McCain, and... hey, is that about me?

2783. FTC 129: Oh brother

by lukket on March 1, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

FTC 129: Oh brother by lukket 3-01-08
I had the craziest weekend, bro. We snuck into mexico for a weekend of debauchery. I woke up with a condom in my ass, and I think I'm missing a kidney. I'm honestly sorry to hear that.	Wait, aren't you the stone cold older brother that never take your younger brother seriously? That might be.	But we do share blood type, and I had my eyes on that kidney.