Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2051. Randomly Appearing Snowman

by El_Phen on August 28, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Randomly Appearing Snowman by El_Phen 8-28-07
It is said that when travellers in the desert are in dire need, a Randomly Appearing Snowman will come to their assistance . Hmmm is this the way to Amarillo?	Nope. Amarillo's THAT way. Thanks Randomly Appearing Snowman!	Unfortunately this is only so he can distract them long enough for his brother, Psychopathic Car Driving Stick-man, to build up speed.

2052. Smoke Break

by fraod on August 27, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Smoke Break by fraod 8-27-07
Having a smoke break, Donald?	Oh yeah. Nothing to do with that tour bus of japanese school girls in short skirts across the street?	Nope.

2053. CC 365: The Nundiscovered Country

by TheGovernor on August 21, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

CC 365: The Nundiscovered Country by TheGovernor 8-21-07
So, this planet is inhabited entirely by nuns? Yes we're a very chaste society	Just so Im straight on this, you're all entirely celibate? No-one has casual sex whatsoever? Thats right

2054. Stabby Things 4 (alternate)

by ivytheplant on July 14, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Stabby Things 4 (alternate) by ivytheplant 7-14-07
"The fantastic growth of Buck Knives, Inc was no accident. From the beginning, management determined to make God the Senior Partner."	"In a crisis, the problem was turned over to Him, and He hasn't failed to help us with the answer."	Kershaw is trying to cut into our hunting knife market. What should we do? Stab the motherfucker.

2055. Ed's Knife's Edge X

by RedfeatheR on April 13, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Ed's Knife's Edge X by RedfeatheR 4-13-07
Dear Dad, I think it's time you knew something. I love you. And I mean that in more than a daddy-daughter way Let's have rough sex to celebrate this love! Love, Your waiting Daughter, Kasey

2056. The Spelling Bee

by RedfeatheR on October 28, 2006
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

The Spelling Bee by RedfeatheR 10-28-06
Hmm fuck? uuuuhh F... U... H Very good... Children please go outside for recess		Look, I don't know who you are or what you want but I'm calling the police.

2057. Political Debate

by Ekirh on May 22, 2006
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Political Debate by Ekirh 5-22-06
EXTREME LEFT WING OPINION THAT SPARKS OF SOCIALISTIC IDEAS AND BORROWS FROM GORE VIDEL!!!! EXTREME RIGHT WING IDEAS THAT HITS NATIONALISM AND BORROWS FROM WILLIAM BUCKLEY!!!	Centerist view point that pleases both sides, makes loads of sense, and will help move America forward and do a lot to bring us together.	What the fuck are you talking about? That's some dumbshit That's dangerous thinking, lets shoot him.

2058. Pika! Pika!

by Hari_Nezumi on January 3, 2006
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Pika! Pika! by Hari_Nezumi 1-03-06
Pikachu! Team Rocket has stolen the pricelss gem that controls all the Legendaries in the world! They'll destroy the entire planet! Pikachu!	You know what? I'm fuckin' tired of your attitude! You've always gotta make it all about YOU, don'tcha? Well fine then, jackass!	Pika?

2059. ICC 4: Invaders from Space!

by mandingo on October 17, 2005
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

ICC 4: Invaders from Space! by mandingo 10-17-05
GLORGLE SPEW! we are approaching Earth, Commander. excellent! tune in their human broadcasts so we can get a feeling for these "humans"	oh no you din't. girlfriend, you can't be callin a sister fat when your saddlebags so big you flap when you walk! UH HUH! JERRY! JERRY!	Commander, are you okay? 600 million miles, Johnson. 600 million miles we came.

2060. 227.31-859

by QUOX on December 27, 2007
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

227.31-859 by QUOX 12-27-07
Thanks again for the coffee...	...UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE...	..and, uh, sorry about your dog.

2061. CC297: The price of a geek's heart.

by DexX on September 18, 2005
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

CC297: The price of a geek's heart. by DexX 9-18-05
Every Star Wars action figure from the original production runs, still in the packaging, plus every officially licenced vehicle and playset ever released, also still in the_original_packaging...	Swap you all of them for a handjob. What? No! This collection was started by my dad when he was a kid. I've spent years filling the gaps, hunting down mint condition items...	Blowjob? Sold!

2062. Randumfum 5

by umfumdisi on April 1, 2005
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Randumfum 5 by umfumdisi 4-01-05
Look, coppers, I'm loitering. Right in front of the NO LOITERING sign!	Yo, pigs, I just won the loitery, and I'm spending my prize right here.	There's no justice in this world.

2063. Hedonism

by batFucker on June 19, 2004
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Hedonism by batFucker 6-19-04
so, yeah, she was really reluctant at first. i mean, my **** was hanging out, pants were down, and she was there on her knees, just kinda looking like she wasn't too thrilled with the whole idea...	i wasn't sure what to say, but i really wanted her to go on, i mean, jesus... but yeah, finally she got to work. took me a bit of reassuring though... but, you know, the means justify the ends. yeah, i hear you man. damn good for you though. what'd you finally say to get her to finish?	well, i just said, "look grandma, i can turn this car around and go straight back to the old folk's home. is that what you really want?"

2064. True Tales of Job Interviews (9)

by choadwarrior on April 28, 2004
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

True Tales of Job Interviews (9) by choadwarrior 4-28-04
I haven't been able to find anyone for your warehouse clerk position. I'm desperate. I'll take anyone--what about that last lady you interviewed?	Trust me--she wouldn't have worked out...	Flashback to an hour earlier... What kind of jobs have you had in the past? Mostly nigger work.

2065. Kendal Mint Cake

by TheGovernor on April 22, 2003
Rating: 7.78 (18 votes)

Kendal Mint Cake by TheGovernor 4-22-03
Ive made some bad choices in my life For example?	1991 I'd sell my soul for a Game Boy Done. See you in 57 years time	1993 I'll give you my Game Boy if you let me touch your breasts Okay

2066. Steak to the heart

by TheGovernor on January 9, 2014
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Steak to the heart by TheGovernor 1-09-14
Cucumber sandwiches check; mini hot dogs check; chicken nuggets check, single size quiche portions check....	Aha! Take this deli meat platter and corn-on-the-cob you undead fiend! Aghhh!	That's right, never mess with "Buffet the Vampire Slayer"

2067. Cup of Coffee

by Injokester on October 22, 2013
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Cup of Coffee by Injokester 10-22-13
I broke a mirror today and got 49 years bad luck.		Worth it to stop the little bastard from yapping.

2068. Overdose

by TheGovernor on January 14, 2013
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Overdose by TheGovernor 1-14-13
These pills should help with your moustacheitis, I have to warn you though that side effects include Amnesia and Alligator hand, but Ive been taking them myself without problems Cool I'll try one right now	Me too, just remember not to take more than one each day Im not sure if they're having an effect but I do like the piranha urine aftertaste	These pills should help with your moustacheitis, I have to warn you though that side effects include Amnesia and Alligator hand, but Ive been taking them myself without problems Cool I'll try one right now

2069. Son of Catches-on-fire-in-the-second-panel-man

by boloboffin on January 2, 2012
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Son of Catches-on-fire-in-the-second-panel-man by boloboffin 1-02-12
Yes? At long last! I don't mean to interfere with your life, but you're my father!

2070. With a taco

by evil_d on July 18, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

With a taco by evil_d 7-18-11
The pay here is crap. The only reason I don't turn to mugging is because I can't afford to buy a gun! Hell, don't let that stop you. Most people will be scared if they even think you might have a gun.	I'll bet you could hold somebody up with a taco. Just keep it in your coat pocket, point it at them, and say "Give me your wallet!"	The next day: BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

2071. King of the World

by four_legged_tripod on June 16, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

King of the World by four_legged_tripod 6-16-11
I'm the king of the world! No, I'm the king of the world!	You've been running the "earth" program for how long and they're still fighting? I know. It's ridiculous. I'm just going to restart the program from the beginning. [Control-Alt-Delete]	I'm the king of the world! No, I'm the king of the world!

2072. CC476: The Hind of Ceryneia

by evil_d on May 31, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

CC476: The Hind of Ceryneia by evil_d 5-31-11
Okay, Hercules. For your third labor, I want you to obtain the Hind of Ceryneia. No problem!	Hey, Ceryneia! Lemme see that sweet hind of yours! King's orders!	You idiot. A "hind" is a female deer. And Ceryneia is a town fifty miles from here. How hot are the women there?

2073. FTC 153: Homeward Bound

by four_legged_tripod on May 24, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

FTC 153: Homeward Bound by four_legged_tripod 5-24-11
Not many people showed up at your protest	Yeah, I know, disappointing... What are you even protesting?	Agoraphobia.

2074. FTC 153: Just Say "Ehh"

by biped on May 22, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

FTC 153: Just Say "Ehh" by biped 5-22-11
Not many people showed up at your protest	Yeah, I know, disappointing... What are you even protesting?	Apathy.

2075. No Longer Blood Sisters

by four_legged_tripod on April 25, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

No Longer Blood Sisters by four_legged_tripod 4-25-11
Ok. Here it is. "Thelma and Louise 2"! I don't know. There needs to be a catch. A hook.	How 'bout "Thelma and Louise 2: The Post-Menopausal Years"! Say, you might have something there. I kinda like it.	I'll do it! I've been quite tired of financing period films anyway.

2076. The King's Screech

by biped on April 22, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

The King's Screech by biped 4-22-11
Now that I am k-k-k-king...I must m-m-make a b-b-big speech...but I st-st-st-st-st-st... Stink?	No! I st-st-st-stammer! And you must h-h-help me learn how to sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp... Spackle? Spin-kick? Spear fish? Speed read? Spay or neuter a cat?	Your husband must be a wonderful speech teacher. I've never heard Bertie scream and curse so fluently. Speech teacher? He's here to fix the toilet, fuckhead!

2077. I remember when we used the nun as the telephone

by mandingo on March 17, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

I remember when we used the nun as the telephone by mandingo 3-17-11
hey boss, it's Stevey. i'm out here by the bridge. just whacked the guy and was about to bury him when... well, it hit me, boss. do you ever feel ashamed? like god's looking down judging us? sometimes i do, Stevey. sometimes i do. but then i blow my load in this 16 year old's mouth, hold her chin closed till she swallows and then i remember, "Oh yeah! i AM god!"	HAHAHAHAHA	bury the fucking body, Stevey.

2078. Muscles

by Beeko180 on February 20, 2011
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Muscles by Beeko180 2-20-11
I don't have a single muscle in my body. That's not true!	You have a very good jaw muscle.	Have you been eating out?

2079. Wise Guy

by choadwarrior on December 13, 2010
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Wise Guy by choadwarrior 12-13-10
Mary and the baby are resting...if you just want to drop off the gold, frankincense and myrrh that would be great. Well, we sort of came a long way. Sure would be a shame if we didn't get to see the little messiah.	Oh, I suppose you can adore him a little. By the way...did you two settle on a name?	Jesus. No way--you guys are Mexican?

2080. A Date With Herbert 3

by biped on December 7, 2010
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

A Date With Herbert 3 by biped 12-07-10
Actually, I'm not really very hungry. I don't think I'll have anything. Uh-huh...yes. That's probably for the best. Mmm-hmm. Splendid.		Looks like a surprise aerial bombardment.

2081. This Hasn't Actually Happened. Yet.

by Scyess on September 27, 2010
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

This Hasn't Actually Happened. Yet. by Scyess 9-27-10
I think I've held up pretty well over the years. I've... wait, what is that there?	What the... HOLY CRAP!!!!	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA What the hell is Jon doing in the bathroom? It sounds like he just found his first gray hare.