Top Rated Comics Archive

2101. Thumbs Up

by choadwarrior on September 9, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Thumbs Up by choadwarrior 9-09-09
My friend posted on Facebook that his dog was run over and killed last night...	By the time I read the post, there were 35 comments...	And one person, "Likes this."

2102. The Insights of a Delicate Mind

by pinkyswear on August 16, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

The Insights of a Delicate Mind by pinkyswear 8-16-09
Death...how can you stand taking the lives of so many innocent people? Simple. I'm a solipsist.	Which means? I believe that my mind is the only one to exist and others are mere fragments of my imagination.	Thank you for thinking me up. Yes, well, I do believe in a good joke.

2103. How Taco Changed From Food to Vagina

by four_legged_tripod on July 15, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

How Taco Changed From Food to Vagina by four_legged_tripod 7-15-09
Hey Juan, where did ju go? I wanted to give ju some time alone with the burrow so I went to see jour sister.	Man, jour breath smells really bad. What have ju been eating? Uh...	Tacos.

2104. How Cock Changed From Rooster to Penis

by four_legged_tripod on July 15, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

How Cock Changed From Rooster to Penis by four_legged_tripod 7-15-09
See dad, I'm working smarter, not harder. Instead of carrying a heavy pail of chicken feed, I just keep the chicken feed in my pockets. I'm not sure how smart that is. Those chickens can get rather aggressive around feeding time.	You'll see dad. I think I'll feed my rooster first. Here chicky chicky. Bawk?	Oh dear God dad! Please come quick and help me with my cock!

2105. Guitar playing tips set to scenes of rape.

by seanator on June 24, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Guitar playing tips set to scenes of rape. by seanator 6-24-09
One fine day... When you are grabbing the neck make sure you are holding it firmly enough to maintain control without cramping your hands... Mister? What are you doing in my bedroom?	Now finger A minor, if your fingertips start to bleed a little, just relax. Force isn't as important as you might think. WAHHHHH I WANNA GO HOOOOME!	Randall let me out of here THIS INSTANT! You can tell you are rockin' it hard enough if your mom finally comes and tells you to please take it down a notch.

2106. carp off

by dcomposed on June 18, 2009
Rating: 8 (10 votes)

carp off by dcomposed 6-18-09
i kissed a girl and I liked it no big deal mate you're meant to		i kissed a carp and I liked it don't worry that's normal too

2107. Simian Says: TMI

by four_legged_tripod on June 17, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Simian Says: TMI by four_legged_tripod 6-17-09
OK. Thanks for sharing Vincent. I know that pimpin' ain't easy and sometimes you've just gotta smack a hoe.	We have a new member in our Sex Addicts group today. Tell us why you're here.	A nun threatened to call the cops cuz I was with her little brother. Maybe she knew about the Thailand tranny or the midget who pleasured me while I wore the diaper too. This is confidential right? Wow! We're going to cut group short today fellas so I can go home to take a shower, refill my Xanax prescription and call my therapist.

2108. Inspired by the Title of my Previous Comic

by Beeko180 on June 11, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Inspired by the Title of my Previous Comic by Beeko180 6-11-09
Why are there so many idiots on the road these days? .....	And god said "Let there be idiots on the road". And there were idiots on the road.	And god said "Oops"? I was getting to that...

2109. Pimpburger VI

by Ogyaf on June 10, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Pimpburger VI by Ogyaf 6-10-09
Swerve, I appreciate you visiting me at work, but you either have to order something or get out of line. You got yourself a Crocadile Done-Deal!		I fuckin' hate you.

2110. 1-800-43S-EX34

by seanator on May 28, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

1-800-43S-EX34 by seanator 5-28-09
One fine day... I've never used a phone sex line before... what are your turn-ons? Honestly? I love it when a guy firmly puts my butt in his mouth and sucks. Hard.	I like what I'm hearing so far, what would be the first thing you would do to me? I am going to give you a nasty case of oral fixation.	OH SWEET JESUS THAT IS BONER INDUCING! What do you look like? I'm a slender white brunette and I am smoking hot.

2111. Dogs are dogs.

by seanator on May 28, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Dogs are dogs. by seanator 5-28-09
One fine day... Hey boy, so what do you think about gay marriage? It's a slippery slope that would eventually lead to mandatory buttfucking classes in public schools.	Really? Well lets change the subject, how is your lady friend? She's a total and complete woman, I don't even know why I ever started humping her.	You are one judgemental pooch. Well I only see things in black and white.

2112. Flaming Homo: brain fart edition

by RCCOLAMAN on April 1, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Flaming Homo: brain fart edition by RCCOLAMAN 4-01-09
Dad I need to tell you something, I'm...I'm on fire. Son, don't say stupid things like that. I didn't raise my son to be a flamer!! So get that nonsense out of your head	Dad I've been on fire for years, you just never paid attention!! All the signs were in front of you! Look at me, do I look like someone who's not on fire?! Huh? Excuse me for wanting to have a normal 'not on fire' son!! And don't you dare tell your mother, it would break her heart!	I'm going to tell her and everyone, I'm telling the whole world! I'm tired of hiding who I really am! I'm on fire and i'm proud of it! You're not telling anyone! You're just confused thats all! Hey listen, the Fire department has this fire prevention program that can help you extinguish these feelings you're having...

2113. Parting is such sweet sorrow

by Aylear on March 25, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Parting is such sweet sorrow by Aylear 3-25-09
By and by, I come:— To cease thy strife, and leave carefully planted landmines 'neath thy feet. Wha--		There has got to be a better way to break the news. I'm open to suggestions.

2114. Paradox

by Aylear on March 23, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Paradox by Aylear 3-23-09
The alternative is, of course, to construct an Alcubierre drive. Though I share your boundless enthusiasm for theoretical propositions, I feel I must inquire about your sudden interest in advancing space flight propulsion.	A Nobel Prize coin in a velvet box would make a nice paperweight. Well, unfortunately for us an Alcubierre drive would be impossible to construct without an Alcubierre drive. Joseph Heller, I believe, called this a Catch-22. Your noble goal may have to wait.	I don't mind breaking the laws of physics. Neither do the breasts of women in videogames, and they're not winning any Nobel Prizes.                    Unfortunately.

2115. Park Creep

by LittleRocker on March 22, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Park Creep by LittleRocker 3-22-09
Hey Mom, I'm going to the Park. Your not going to visit that horrible drug addicted pervert are you?	Err.	Dad sleeps near McDonalds now.

2116. Ninjas

by Ungreat on March 1, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Ninjas by Ungreat 3-01-09
		Black was so last season.

2117. Alex Trebek's mustache

by mandingo on February 10, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Alex Trebek's mustache by mandingo 2-10-09
the killing spree continues, america, as Alex Trebek's mustache claimed its 36th and 37th victim today we go now live to our own Kelly Johns who procured an exclusive interview with the murderous manhair	Kelly, you there?	38.

2118. Steve and Steve

by mandingo on January 14, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Steve and Steve by mandingo 1-14-09
man, i had the most emasculating experience of my life the other day. i uppercut this dickhead, caught him on the chin just perfect. his head snapped back and he fell to the ground unconscious yup, pretty effeminate	no, no, but i wanted to teach him a lesson. so i whipped my dick out to piss on him. only i couldn't go. but then it became a pride thing. i refused to put the bad boy away until some pee came out	so there i am, standing over this guy, holding my dick, shouting, "COME OUT, DAMN YOU! COME OUT!" a hundred people must have seen it. definitely everyone on my mom's church bus. it even made the paper YOU'RE THE CELLULOID GAYPIST??!

2119. Game Night

by HCRoyall on January 8, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Game Night by HCRoyall 1-08-09
What kind of crazy cult do you belong to that you can't eat bacon? I'm Jewish.		Can't you quit?

2120. Free banana

by FinnNYC on January 7, 2009
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Free banana by FinnNYC 1-07-09
There's a lady in the training room giving out bananas. Nice! what's the catch?	What do you mean? When's the last time you just got a banana? You know, without having to endure some kind of procedure or perform some test.	I don't remember... I just woke up a bit numb in the legs and she gave me a banana. I'll pass.

2121. Punography

by seanator on November 20, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Punography by seanator 11-20-08
One fine day... I am so horrible at my job. You're horrible? I suck at my job way more than you do.	You're really that bad? No, I'm a prostitute. I'm excellent!	You're really cocky. You have no idea.

2122. CC407: You're Gonna Die Up There

by biped on November 19, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

CC407: You're Gonna Die Up There by biped 11-19-08
Yikes! What an awful name for a comic! Oh, I like it. It saves me the trouble of saying it myself.		(tinkle)

2123. Don't Fear the Goblin in the Restroom

by AccentuateNegative on November 16, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Don't Fear the Goblin in the Restroom by AccentuateNegative 11-16-08
Whoa, did you read that about the goblin in the restroom?	You're going to love the goblin in the restroom. I am?	Gobble, gobble, gobble. The man knows his goblin.

2124. #26 - THIS COMIC IS X-RATED

by SirBelfin on November 8, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

#26 - THIS COMIC IS X-RATED by SirBelfin 11-08-08
TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE DANGERS OF PORNOGRAPHY IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY let us begin by discussing the basic definition of pornography		YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE PICTURES oh

2125. how to tell if your principal is a pedophile

by areallystupidguy on October 23, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

how to tell if your principal is a pedophile by areallystupidguy 10-23-08
*BZZZT* ATTENTION STUDENTS. THIS IS PRINCIPAL SANDERS.		I HAD SEX WITH MY PREPUBESCENT DAUGHTER LAST NIGHT.

2126. Author Unknown

by Hatrix on October 7, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Author Unknown by Hatrix 10-07-08
Sure I can help find this book for you. It may take me a while. We don't have a computerized system. Oh that's fine, take your time. I'm just going to browse.	So which title did you task that unsuspecting part time clerk with? "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying"	Heh heh. What is it with you? People who don't read should not work in book stores. Now c'mon, let's go move religion books to the fiction section while he's gone.

2127. Famous Debates

by seanator on September 11, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Famous Debates by seanator 9-11-08
One fine day... I won. No you didn't, you finished last.	I won. No, you came in dead last.	Thats only your opinion. I won. YOU HAD TO EAT THE FUCKIN COOKIE DUDE! YOU LOST!

2128. Endora!

by choadwarrior on September 2, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Endora! by choadwarrior 9-02-08
I think you are treating me unfairly. I'm just holding you accountable for your perfomance.	It's like you're on some sort of witch hunt. It's not like that at all.	It rhymes with witch, though.

2129. Give and take

by TheGovernor on August 4, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Give and take by TheGovernor 8-04-08
Sure I'll go down on you, but only if you do my cock first Umm, ok	Great, one moment	*cluck*

2130. Comma Sutra: The Sex Life of a Grammar Nerd

by not_Scyess on June 23, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Comma Sutra: The Sex Life of a Grammar Nerd by not_Scyess 6-23-08
"Use a comma + a little conjunction (and, but, for, nor, yet, or, so) to connect two independent clauses." "One of the most frequent errors in comma usage is the placement of a comma after a coordinating conjunction."	"It would be a rare event, indeed, that we need to follow a coordinating conjunction with a comma."	*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*

2131. Return of The Jesus: Do You Feel Lucky?

by DIN0 on April 30, 2008
Rating: 7.78 (9 votes)

Return of The Jesus: Do You Feel Lucky? by DIN0 4-30-08
Can I be the disciple that kills you Jesus? Pleaseeeee Yes, Judass you can be my 8th desciple as of this moment.		Well.. make a move, punk.

2132. CC 386: CARRIE--Life Goes On