Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2001. Happy Birthday xxausrottenxx!

by BirthdayThread on May 7, 2008
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Happy Birthday xxausrottenxx! by BirthdayThread 5-07-08
This comic is a pinata.	Go ahead, punch it.	Hope someone got you a new monitor for your birthday!

2002. CC 381: Planet of the ...

by umfumdisi on February 20, 2008
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

CC 381: Planet of the ...

Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty Abes!!

by umfumdisi, 2-20-08

2003. Jesus Sense

by mandingo on December 1, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Jesus Sense by mandingo 12-01-07
maybe you could use your Jesus Sense to look in the forest for the kidnappers i asked you to call it my Savior Sight	but i thought you closed your eyes when you did it? maybe	and wait. isn't your vision like 20/80 or something? stupid basketball

2004. A new branch of ornithology

by mandingo on October 20, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

A new branch of ornithology by mandingo 10-20-07
what are you doing? i keep a diary of every time someone's flipped me off	there's only half a page there. that's pretty good the other 26 books are on the shelf behind you	where? all i see are these blueprints of the high school one shelf down. next to the sawed off

2005. Humiliation

by JStrong on August 14, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Humiliation by JStrong 8-14-07
And this is the 3rd bedroom. I like it. I LIKE it!	Well, what do you say, would your like to live here? You know my condition.	*sigh* Werr, what do you say, would you rike to rive here. Haha! Now sing that "I'm Ronery" song!

2006. backwoods

by mandingo on July 13, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

backwoods by mandingo 7-13-07
be very still where did it come from!	the circus used to travel these woods. it must have escaped its cage and gone feral WE'RE GONNA DIE!	smell my flower smell my flower smell my flower smell my flower

2007. Iron Shiek and his thoughts on Hulk Hogan

by mcallister on July 13, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Iron Shiek and his thoughts on Hulk Hogan by mcallister 7-13-07
*munch munch munch* Yeah keep doing that, oh thats good	Whats good? Nothing, I just made it look like you were sucking on my cock	You sick fuck, everyone knows you suck my cock i'm sorry

2008. Mission Specialist Johnson

by mandingo on July 11, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Mission Specialist Johnson by mandingo 7-11-07
come on, Commander, let me down! messiah, Mission Specialist Johnson? really?	it was the peyote! and how do you get yourself crucified when you have a Transmogrifier 8000 that could have turned the entire Roman army into baby chicks	well i sorta used up its power on this water-wine bread-fish thingee i hope it got you laid, pal

2009. What Friends Are For

by Scyess on June 28, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

What Friends Are For by Scyess 6-28-07
My leg is a little sore today. Get a metal coat hanger, unfold it, and wrap one end around your leg. Then put the other end in the light socket.		That didn't really help. Never said it would.

2010. Sans-Vocal-Chords Steve II

by RedfeatheR on June 27, 2007
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Sans-Vocal-Chords Steve II by RedfeatheR 6-27-07
Hhh sht!!!	FF! Hm?	FF! fffF! FF! Fffff! OOoooOoh, I get it. A lawn sprinkler, right?

2011. night horror

by mandingo on September 11, 2006
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

night horror by mandingo 9-11-06
ALLAH AKBAR! oh no, not again!	joey, joey, it's okay! you were having that dream again! it's just a nightmare, baby *sniffle* okay mom... sorry	good, sounds like he's asleep again... hit it! ALLAH AKBAR!

2012. Tard Boy and Finkelman at the movies

by squidrabies on March 31, 2006
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Tard Boy and Finkelman at the movies by squidrabies 3-31-06
2001: A Space Odyssey		It's been 25 minutes. Can we start the movie now please? Shhh.

2013. Always Use a Peephole

by kaufman on December 2, 2005
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Always Use a Peephole by kaufman 12-02-05
Caesar, I've got a great knock-knock joke for you. Knock, knock! Oh, Brutus. Must we again? *sigh* Ok, Who's there?	Ed. Ed who, Brute?

2014. Telephone interview

by boorite on February 3, 2004
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Telephone interview by boorite 2-03-04
What makes you interested in working for our university? It's across from the train station.	How would you sum up your attitude to the phrase "customer service" in an academic setting? "Please give me a job."	What would you say is your weakest point? Definitely my balls.

2015. In Memorium

by choadwarrior on September 11, 2003
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

In Memorium by choadwarrior 9-11-03
This day will always be associated with the tragic events of September 11th.	And I will mourn for America every year on this day.	You remember September 11th also happens to be my birthday, right grandma? I know, dear, what were you thinking of?

2016. Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!"

by Ranger77 on October 15, 2005
Rating: 7.81 (16 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!" by Ranger77 10-15-05
You know I'd really like to take martial arts lessons from you, but how do I know that all that stuff I see in movies about monks isn't fake? Well consider this: I just did a soft spin kick into your abdomen. It will hurt severly in about 30 seconds. I also ate the bologna out of your sandwich.		Ow. I grabbed $20 out of your wallet for the trial lesson. Should I even ask why you're carrying around a picture of Condolezza Rice?

2017. CC 99: Gift Giving

by BigEvilDan on February 9, 2002
Rating: 7.8 (66 votes)

CC 99: Gift Giving by BigEvilDan 2-09-02
Dec. 24th, 11:58 PM What's wrong dear? Shouldn't you be out delivering gifts? I don't think I'm going to this year. My deliveries only detract from the real reason for the holiday.	That's very thoughtful, dear. You did the right thing. I sure hope Jesus appreciates it.	Dec. 25, 8:10 AM Where the #@%$@ are my presents?

2018. On a Roll

by smamurai on December 4, 2005
Rating: 7.8 (50 votes)

On a Roll by smamurai 12-04-05
It's bad news isn't it Doc? To put things into perspective. You had as much chance of catching AIDS from that toilet-seat as you do of winning the lottery.	You think I was worrying over nothing? No, I think you should buy a lottery ticket because YOU'RE ON FIRE!

2019. Financial Independence Day

by choadwarrior on July 4, 2004
Rating: 7.8 (41 votes)

Financial Independence Day by choadwarrior 7-04-04
Hey buddy, do you have any spare change? No.	I can hear it jingle in your pocket. That isn't spare change.	Then what is it? My change.

2020. Dirt

by seanator on August 23, 2008
Rating: 7.8 (25 votes)

Dirt by seanator 8-23-08
One fine day... So I'm in the elevator at work with some kid... yeah...	and I asked him where his mom was and he answered, "In Heaven" and it was so awkward... yeah	because for the rest of the elevator ride I had to explain to him, "You know... There is no such thing as heaven..."

2021. Bareback Mountain.

by UnknownEric on August 11, 2007
Rating: 7.8 (25 votes)

Bareback Mountain. by UnknownEric 8-11-07
Hey, aren't you film star Anne Hathaway? Yes.	I would just like to say that I do not, in any way, wish to have wild, passionate monkey sex with you. That's good to know.	Man, this "reverse psychology" bullshit doesn't work...

2022. My bird

by Skin on January 9, 2007
Rating: 7.8 (25 votes)

My bird by Skin 1-09-07
My bird can see years ahead. It teases me with information. Your only child will be abducted and abused on her half-birthday. How can I save her?	It hates its little jail, and me, its little jailor. You will try to hold on to your wife, but you will lose her to her grief. How can I console her?	My bird can see years ahead. You will kill yourself in your empty house. Ooh, how many bedrooms?

2023. Godzilla vs. Kasparov

by kaufman on November 22, 2005
Rating: 7.8 (25 votes)

Godzilla vs. Kasparov by kaufman 11-22-05
Hmmmmm ... he sure is taking a long time to make his move.	His clock's going to run out. I'm going to win by default!	Maybe I shouldn't have eaten him.

2024. Truth or Dare

by ObiJo on September 10, 2004
Rating: 7.8 (25 votes)

Truth or Dare by ObiJo 9-10-04
Truth or Dare? Truth.	I killed a waitress once using only my bare teeth. It was just outside Sioux City and Wait, I meant a truth for me.	It wasn't my fault really. She interrupted me. Kind of like you just did. IT'S NOT YOUR TURN!

2025. Cuticles

by habnem on July 28, 2003
Rating: 7.79 (61 votes)

Cuticles by habnem 7-28-03
Hey, you should see my cuticles. They're pretty.	Wow. It's not often that you hear a guy talk about his nail beds. Nail beds? Hell, no.	"Cuticles" is what I've been calling my balls since I started putting makeup on 'em.

2026. Two out of three

by boorite on October 8, 2003
Rating: 7.79 (52 votes)

Two out of three by boorite 10-08-03
Schwarzenegger's going to win. Schwarzenegger has won!	The Fed's going to raise the prime rate. The Fed has raised the prime rate!	I'm going to get laid tonight. A new Wal-Mart has opened in Odenton!

2027. One fish, two fish, red fish, screwed fish

by BigEvilDan on October 1, 2001
Rating: 7.79 (52 votes)

One fish, two fish, red fish, screwed fish by BigEvilDan 10-01-01
We've got to be careful here. This is the territory of the Australian Chameleon Trout. It tries to pass itself off as other species, then eats them.	Got that Bob?	Got it. Good.

2028. Bedroom Chat 5

by cpausti on May 17, 2005
Rating: 7.79 (43 votes)

Bedroom Chat 5 by cpausti 5-17-05
Hey Doc, what's up? I have created a device which enables invisibility! I will use it only to get a firm grasp on the greater good. Observe!	See?	I think you've mistaken the greater good for my boobies.

2029. Leap of Faith

by kaufman on March 15, 2006
Rating: 7.79 (34 votes)

Leap of Faith by kaufman 3-15-06
Come on, you know there's nothing to worry about. You're a three-time world champion. This'll be a piece of cake.	So what if the suits on the Olympic committee think we athletes are getting too good, and decide to raise the diving platform from ten meters?	You're going to ace this thing. Now get out on the board and just do it!

2030. Theme Restaraunt

by Scyess on January 16, 2006
Rating: 7.79 (34 votes)

Theme Restaraunt by Scyess 1-16-06
Welcome to the Psychic Cafe. Here's your spaghetti. Is that all you have?	No, but we knew that's what you were going to order. Which reminds me...	Then she kicked me in the nuts because I wasn't going to leave a big enough tip. Uncannily accurate.

2031. Praying

by boinky33 on May 11, 2004
Rating: 7.79 (34 votes)

Praying by boinky33 5-11-04
Dear God, please keep peace on earth and....	Looks like you're writing a letter. Click me for help.

2032. Art Freaks

by BigFrank105 on June 10, 2005
Rating: 7.78 (54 votes)

Art Freaks by BigFrank105 6-10-05
Art is dead. I know what you mean. All of this new modern art has reduced brilliant works of art to nothing but squares and squiggles.	No, I mean Art is dead. I stabbed him to death with a spork and buried him in my backyard.	But I do agree with what you said.