Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2401. In Dependence

by choadwarrior on May 22, 2005
Rating: 7.67 (15 votes)

In Dependence by choadwarrior 5-22-05
Do you still smoke weed, man? Nah, I just can't anymore--my wife won't let me.	I always thought you'd marry an enabler. Well, I love her, but secretly, I thought I could turn her into an enabler.	Now the best you can hope for is to make her a co-dependent. I'm not sure if she watches too much or not enough Dr. Phil for that to happen.

2402. High-ennui physics

by boorite on April 7, 2005
Rating: 7.67 (15 votes)

High-ennui physics by boorite 4-07-05
I'd like you to meet my friend, Fred. I don't see anyone.	He's made of dark matter. You can't see or interact with him in any way. Then how do you know he's there?	The math proves it.

2403. Dolph Lundgren Party Robots That Vomit On You -- 1

by biped on December 28, 2004
Rating: 7.67 (15 votes)

Dolph Lundgren Party Robots That Vomit On You -- 1 by biped 12-28-04
I am sorry, ma'am. We do not make "Dolph Lundgren party robots that vomit on you." WELL, then -- this ain't much of a damn ROBOT FACTORY, now IS it?	Arthur...I'm building my OWN damn robot factory! Then I can make any kind of damn robots I WANT! Oh. My.	And I can make Dolph Lundgren's TITTIES as BIG as I want! And he can VOMIT on me as MUCH as I want! Please... go...away...

2404. Spam W0rld (re: your order)

by Ranger77 on December 28, 2003
Rating: 7.67 (15 votes)

Spam W0rld (re: your order) by Ranger77 12-28-03
Somewhere in Iraq.... Ok, Listen up for mail call. Harris, you got a letter. Johnson, you got a box of cookies.	Smith you got a penis enlarger, some herbal viagra, a Paris Hilton video and a free 'Gold' MILF pass for 30 days.	Smith, you sure you don't have internet access out here. Internet? Why....what ever do you mean....?

2405. The Holy Trinity

by suicide_king on February 17, 2005
Rating: 7.66 (32 votes)

The Holy Trinity by suicide_king 2-17-05
We don't communicate. I'll answer anything you want to know.	Tell me 2 things you like about me. Your left tit and your right tit.	Ughhh -- can't you think of anything deeper? Your vagina.

2406. Me and my Robot

by MaKK_BeNN on June 6, 2004
Rating: 7.66 (32 votes)

Me and my Robot by MaKK_BeNN 6-06-04
What do you get when you slice a baby open?		An erection! Inputting data

2407. Aim Low, Shoot Low

by choadwarrior on May 9, 2003
Rating: 7.66 (32 votes)

Aim Low, Shoot Low by choadwarrior 5-09-03
How come you aliens keep abductin' us and cornholin' us with anal probes? It's phase one of our evil plan.	To take over the Earth? No, to make southerners seem stupid.	We believe in setting realistic goals.

2408. HOHOHO HO

by AccentuateNegative on December 18, 2003
Rating: 7.65 (51 votes)

HOHOHO HO by AccentuateNegative 12-18-03
Hey, would you like to sit on Santa's lap and take a picture for eight dollars?	Sorry, I don't have eight dollars on me.	No...would you like to make eight dollars?

2409. bad joke updated!

by boinky33 on June 16, 2003
Rating: 7.65 (51 votes)

bad joke updated! by boinky33 6-16-03
Knock, knock! Who's there?	Interupting cow-	Got a dollar? FUCK OFF! I'M BUSY!

2410. Hooker Line and Sinker

by choadwarrior on April 14, 2005
Rating: 7.65 (34 votes)

Hooker Line and Sinker by choadwarrior 4-14-05
Psst--Hey, mister...you want some fine ass pussy?	I can make these bitches do whatever you want, yo. Good heavens! What sort of a man are you?	They call me the whores whisperer.

2411. Request from a Donkey

by Braze on May 2, 2001
Rating: 7.65 (34 votes)

Request from a Donkey by Braze 5-02-01
Hey Jesus... uh, I need a little help. I am listening, my son.	Well, a witch turned me into this donkey, and if it's not too much trouble... You want to be changed back? No problem.	Good...... but can I keep the cock?

2412. Space Seed

by TheGovernor on February 28, 2008
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Space Seed by TheGovernor 2-28-08
On behalf of the Federation, Id like to personally welcome the planet of voluptuous maidens into our club. Now shall we get on with the mating rituals? Ok, but do you have protection?	Mr Spock could you please beam me down a packet of your condoms Are you sure they are safe?	They should be, they're made from Vulcanised Rubber

2413. RCD #15: Cuties

by 100Faces on February 18, 2008
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

RCD #15: Cuties by 100Faces 2-18-08
When I twinkle three times, I can see flower fairies flying above our heads. The one in the white dress is called Arabella. She is the prettiest of them all and she can ride on the sunbeams, ...	... the one in the purple dress is the keeper of the rain. Her name is Roberta. And her sister Apollonia paints all the flowers in the most beautiful colours. Her dress is green of course, and ... Children are so cute! I do adore their imagination. Even Laura's older sister's still got a lot of it and she's almost sixteen.	30 minutes earlier ... Do you think it's safe to keep those LSD tablets in the cookie jar? Sure!

2414. CC 380: Objectified

by NeoVid on February 11, 2008
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

CC 380: Objectified by NeoVid 2-11-08
DAMN! I'M SO $#@%ING PISSED!	I SIT HERE, BRINGING IN FRESH AIR EVERY DAMN DAY, BUT DO I EVER GET APPRECIATION!? HELL NO!	....sorry about that, I'm just venting.

2415. Pneumonia Drug as Effective as Injection

by Intoxicatious on January 4, 2008
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Pneumonia Drug as Effective as Injection by Intoxicatious 1-04-08
Did you know that pneumonia is the world's leading child killer? Really? I've never heard of the guy.	No, it's a sickness, but they're saying that oral treatment is just as effective as an injection. Dude, I'm not going to give a kid oral. Now, THAT'S sick.	I'll do it. Shut up, Pneumonia.

2416. Hungary

by biped on September 2, 2007
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Hungary by biped 9-02-07
Mommy, I'm Hungary... Oh, well, I'll make you some nice milk and cookies then, sweetie.	Ha, ha! No, silly--I'm Hungary in our school play about Geography! Ha, ha! OH, HA HA! My, how cute!	Mom...I'm horny. Is that in Europe?

2417. Death 'n' The Eye of a Needle

by Hatrix on August 29, 2007
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Death 'n' The Eye of a Needle by Hatrix 8-29-07
Look I'm a minister. A loyal servant of GOD. If I have passed on then I SHOULD be in heaven! Well I'm sorry to burst your 'holier than thou' bubble, but heaven is a myth. So is god. The afterlife is a neutral place.	There MUST be a final judgement! There simply MUST be. There isn't. And I can prove it.	Oh? Well you got in didn't ya?

2418. Overtime

by ivytheplant on August 20, 2007
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Overtime by ivytheplant 8-20-07
Did you come into work last night? Yeah, I had some stuff I wanted to do.	Why would you want to work on your day off? You work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.	So? I needed a headstart on cleaning up the messes you'll make this week.

2419. what high drama was like before the fire prop was created

by mandingo on July 8, 2007
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

what high drama was like before the fire prop was created by mandingo 7-08-07
*BURN CRACKLE*	*BURN CRACKLE* *BURN CRACKLE*	HELP! MY BABY!

2420. Smartin shit

by RedfeatheR on November 7, 2006
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Smartin shit by RedfeatheR 11-07-06
Fuck all y'all ! It's said, "Fuck you all" or alternately, "Fuck all of you"	*sniff*	How do you know so much abou- S' what I do for a livin' nigga!

2421. I heard my name

by boorite on April 10, 2006
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

I heard my name by boorite 4-10-06
Oh goodie, more spam.	"Cum on my tits."	Did you call me?

2422. Christmas Wish

by Scyess on January 2, 2006
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Christmas Wish by Scyess 1-02-06
And what do you want for Christmas? I want the disco version of Beethoven's 5th never to have existed.	Christmas magic is powerful magic, my son, but that kind of evil can only be defeated by a higher power.	Sorry, but my hands are tied. THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING!

2423. Hail to the Creep.

by suicide_king on September 15, 2005
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Hail to the Creep. by suicide_king 9-15-05
Dick, how are the nomination hearings going? Are we gonna get our boy Roberts on the Supreme Court, or what? I'm not sure Mr. President. The Democrats want to know his position on Roe versus Wade.	Who cares how them coloreds get outta New Orleans. Right Mr. President.

2424. Mate

by FinnNYC on January 4, 2005
Rating: 7.65 (17 votes)

Mate by FinnNYC 1-04-05
Alright, today's the day I meet my sign language trained mate. Sweet! Do you think you'll be able to teach your offspring to sign?	I'm in this for the mating. I'll leave the teaching to the mother. I hear ya. I don't think I could bother teaching a baby all the stuff I've learned either.	What are they training you to do? To pee in the coffee over at the physics lab.

2425. Number 3 - Darren and Hank

by Choobychooby on February 20, 2005
Rating: 7.64 (36 votes)

Number 3 - Darren and Hank by Choobychooby 2-20-05
So, Hank, how do you know my son? He's the guy I have sex with.	I mean, how did you two meet? I just woke up one morning and he was here.	Lovely, and what it is you do, exactly? Well, first there's a coin toss, then one of us gets some handcream...

2426. Political

by NeoVid on April 18, 2004
Rating: 7.64 (36 votes)

Political by NeoVid 4-18-04
Finish your dinner. Don't you know there are children starving in Africa?	I heard that they're starving because Americans eat twice as much as we need.	Right! So finish dinner before those kids in Africa get it!

2427. CC 199: Prepare for disappointment

by NeoVid on July 24, 2003
Rating: 7.64 (36 votes)

CC 199: Prepare for disappointment by NeoVid 7-24-03
My blind date should be here any minute.	I hope "Has a good personality" means "thin and sexy."	Hey, where'd this gigantic shadow come from?

2428. Fistmaster plays Agony Uncle

by kramer_vs_kramer on October 22, 2001
Rating: 7.64 (36 votes)

Fistmaster plays Agony Uncle by kramer_vs_kramer 10-22-01
God I've been feeling so depressed since I came out. Nobody will accept me because I'm gay. Hey there little buddy. Cheer up! Life's not so bad. People should just learn to respect you for who you are.	Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks Mr... Fistmaster. They call me Fistmaster.	And... you'll be wanting to fist me? God no. What do you think I am, some kind of dirty faggot?

2429. Tard Boy and Finkelman

by squidrabies on August 9, 2002
Rating: 7.64 (36 votes)

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 8-09-02
Gee, what a beautiful. day. And how.	A day like this makes me want to experiment with homosexuality, which psychologists assure me is completely normal in this stage of my sexual development.	Be gentle.

2430. God: Year One

by squidrabies on September 14, 2005
Rating: 7.63 (38 votes)

God: Year One by squidrabies 9-14-05
Here's the deal, Eve. I made you from Adam's rib so you can show him a good time. That's harassment.	Whatever. There's only one rule. You guys can do anything you want, but don't eat the apples. Ooh yeah, I so want your stupid apples. I can't go on living unless I eat a dumbass apple.	What a cunt. I want an apple.

2431. Fashion Forward

by AccentuateNegative on September 17, 2003
Rating: 7.63 (38 votes)

Fashion Forward by AccentuateNegative 9-17-03
So why did you finally decide to come out? I just got tired of pretending.	That you liked girls?	No, that I liked the clothes people bought for me.

2432. Contest 196: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Simpson?

by il_schmucko on July 9, 2003
Rating: 7.63 (38 votes)

Contest 196: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Simpson? by il_schmucko 7-09-03