Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2901. What's Under YOUR Pillow?

by attitudechicka on May 31, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

What's Under YOUR Pillow? by attitudechicka 5-31-10
So how did tooth fairy duty go? Well...	ButUncleDansaidthe toothfairycan'tbeseen byparentsandDaddy saidthatthetoothfairy onlyleavesfiftycents soIdon'tknowhowyou knowIonlygotadollar! Um, well, I was friends with the toothfairy before I had you?	I've discovered that when using a cover story, you should be sure everyone is telling the same one.

2902. Nothing To Lose ...

by william_wraithe on May 27, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Nothing To Lose ... by william_wraithe 5-27-10
Even dreams can get crazy .... Hellooooo Stanley! Oooooooh! What the Fuck! Who are you!!???	I am your lost kid ... Stanley! I am the sperm you wiped on your sock! NO FUCKING WAY! Th- Th-That's IMPOSSIBLE!	Especially if you go to sleep right before you whack off ... YES! EVEN NOW I AM ALIIIIIVE!!! OH GOD! HOLY SHIT! WHY, OH, WHY!??? WHY DIDN'T I JUST USE TOILET PAPER AND FLUSH YOU DOWN THE TOILET LIKE A NORMAL PERV!

2903. 2d6

by LuckyGuess on May 27, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

2d6 by LuckyGuess 5-27-10
The party, still reeling from the tragic and senseless death of Rochestette I didn't find it tragic. That chick was a whore.	Still reeling from the untimely death It was very well timed. I thought it was hilarious.	Still somewhat amused by the comically swift death of Rochestette, discovers a stowaway among the ship's cargo. ROCHESTER THE FOURTH, BEST GNOME EVER

2904. Never Ending Death Screens

by brycekain on May 21, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Never Ending Death Screens by brycekain 5-21-10
You can't be serious. Why would you do that? I've always wanted a library full of computer books and such.	You replaced every single book with science and tech books?? Of course.	But we just put in a Goosebumps section! What did you do to that?? Upgraded to Goosebumps Vista. Now they can enjoy big, scary blue screens of death!

2905. Typo negative

by ladyjdotnet on May 6, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Typo negative by ladyjdotnet 5-06-10
Where I got the crotchless business suit pants is immaterial. That was a terrible pun, sir.	Regardless, the important thing is that you look at my exposed crotch. Um, why?	The manual for the broken copier said to examine the ball barings. Two puns in one strip, sir? I quit.

2906. Absentee

by gabe_billings on April 28, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Absentee by gabe_billings 4-28-10
Where the hell have you been? Secret black ops CIA shit. I've been deep undercover in Kandahar for the past 18 months.	So pretty much been sitting at home watching online porn nonstop, huh? Guilty.

2907. Because KFC Cares...About Your Tits...

by brycekain on April 23, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Because KFC Cares...About Your Tits... by brycekain 4-23-10
For Mary... For my cousin Jane...	For every pink bucket of chicken you buy... KFC will donate 50 cents to fight breast cancer.	Bill? It's Doctor Bob. Take all my money out of mutual funds and dump it into liposuction clinics! We’re about to hit PAY DIRT!!

2908. Ziggy's Golden Years: The Cone of Shame

by four_legged_tripod on February 17, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Ziggy's Golden Years: The Cone of Shame by four_legged_tripod 2-17-10
I'm sorry sir. The economy has been so bad we have had to drop from 51 flavors to only two flavors of ice cream.	And what are those flavors?	"Suck" and "ass"?

2909. Christmas, Christmas

by mandingo on January 16, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Christmas, Christmas by mandingo 1-16-10
that's not what i asked for! it isn't?	no, i said i wanted Guitar Hero, not a guitar hero! but, sweety, Guitar Hero was $80. that's pretty pricey for your father and i right now. Richie Sambora was $4 and a pack of Camels	top bunk.

2910. BYOA

by four_legged_tripod on December 23, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

BYOA by four_legged_tripod 12-23-09
		I brought my axe just like the invitation said.... oh, this ain't gonna end well. Tell me about it.

2911. Grammar Ninja: Regretfully Yours

by monkeyknifefight on December 10, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Grammar Ninja: Regretfully Yours by monkeyknifefight 12-10-09
Yeah, finding the perfect match is tough. Imperatives are too bossy, clauses can become dependent all of a sudden....	Prepositions often form tense relationships, and apostrophes never seem to know where they belong.	You want my advice, little ninjas? Don't fall in love with grammar.

2912. Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa (w)

by four_legged_tripod on December 9, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa (w) by four_legged_tripod 12-09-09
He showed it to me, then sat it up on the shelf.	He said, "KY's only for the nice,"	so I pissed myself! That only makes you sexier to me.

2913. Outlining the Details

by four_legged_tripod on November 20, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Outlining the Details by four_legged_tripod 11-20-09
No, no, no! You've made his head all wrong! And he was much fatter than that.	Sorry. I'll start over.	Is this better? Hey! Who the fuck assigned me to work with Ginormous over here?

2914. Disengaged Debbie 2

by biped on November 13, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Disengaged Debbie 2 by biped 11-13-09
Well, here we are in your apartment, Foofy. Oh, this is so romantic. I really feel like I could-- Pardon me while I slip into my clown suit, Debbie.	Ahh, that's much better. Well--let's get funny.	ZOOT!!! DING!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!

2915. H1N1 vaccine with a dash of wine

by FactoryRejects on November 11, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

H1N1 vaccine with a dash of wine by FactoryRejects 11-11-09
Brothers and sisters, I have here the true path to salvation.	GlaxoSmithKline and FaithCo are proud to present a breakthrough in vaccination technology.	Liquid Jesus.

2916. Window's Errors.

by NOComedy on October 19, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Window's Errors. by NOComedy 10-19-09
Windows 98 Okay, there is a slight problem, we're working to get it fixed, but continue your program as useal.	Windows XP Alright, we have a problem, we tried are best to fix it while you didn't notice but we now have to close this program. Do you want to send an error report?	Windows Vista OMG OMG OMG! Alright, something is wrong and I don't know what! It maybe just a line of unneeded code but we can't be too careful...CLOSE EVERYTHING DOWN UNTIL IT IS SORTED!

2917. Imaginesugiru

by Scyess on October 7, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Imaginesugiru by Scyess 10-07-09
I get so nervous talking to girls. The trick about imagining your audience naked only makes things worse. Why not try imagining them taking a wallpaper-peeling, tile-melting, lamb-vindaloo-and-pickled-garlic mega-shit instead?	Hi. GROSS!!!	Holy shit. I had no idea girls were so disgusting. Oh, yeah. Why do you think they give them their own special bathrooms?

2918. CC 430:

by four_legged_tripod on July 27, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

CC 430: by four_legged_tripod 7-27-09
After being molested by not 1, not 2, but 10 ice cream men in a back alley, he still used the experience to make an anal raped flavored ice cream that feeds millions of children in Africa each day.	Not one to discriminate, he molests all of his step-daughters, not just the red headed one, using his penis and a sock to reenact Shakespeare to help them with their homework while he does it.	Being confused about relationships and sexuality has not stopped him from giving back to society as he secretly volunteers at a farm giving the animals there prostate exams with his fist. When I'm not drinking Draino in an attempt to kill myself, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty.

2919. Sylvia Plath Meets Death

by four_legged_tripod on July 15, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Sylvia Plath Meets Death

I got your poem. Time to go. You took that seriously, man? I was just kiddin'.

by four_legged_tripod, 7-15-09

2920. Evel Knievel Meets Dr. Evil VI

by four_legged_tripod on July 8, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Evel Knievel Meets Dr. Evil VI by four_legged_tripod 7-08-09
Well, since I'm here, I might as well tell you about a guy up top who's putting together an evil army and is looking for recruits. Go on ...	Just take this pill and you'll be transported to the secret meeting place. Okay. What the hell.	3 days later ... Where the hell am I and why does my mouth taste like sweaty ball sac? Easy Mr. Satan. You can relive it all again on YouTube.

2921. Evel Knievel Meets Dr. Evil V

by four_legged_tripod on July 8, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Evel Knievel Meets Dr. Evil V by four_legged_tripod 7-08-09
The only way I'm going to get out of this mess is to drive off this canyon and kill myself.		What the hell am I doing here? I thought I was good enough to go to heaven. I've got a YouTube video that says otherwise.

2922. Oggy And IceDaKlown See A Play

by Ogyaf on June 29, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Oggy And IceDaKlown See A Play by Ogyaf 6-29-09
I don't say he's a great man. Willie Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived.	But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid. He's not to be allowed to fall in his grave like an old dog.	Tonight: Death of a Salesman I had no idea Billy Mays' real name was Willie Loman. Man, this was the weirdest funeral I've ever been to. Seventh weirdest, for me.

2923. Robots Gone Wild

by four_legged_tripod on June 29, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Robots Gone Wild by four_legged_tripod 6-29-09
Waz up bee-otch? Bring your sweet ass over here and give daddy some sugar.	Yo my brotha! Where the hell's the 40s at? I needs to get my drink on after my night with that skanky ass hoe.	Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Scene 2, Take 5 What's up with you Mudflap? Where were you all weekend? You look like hell. Uh ... Method acting Skids. Method acting.

2924. Days Past

by gtc3000 on June 29, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Days Past by gtc3000 6-29-09
		We'll always have Rumschpringe.

2925. Blonde Joke Set to Comic Strip

by four_legged_tripod on June 25, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Blonde Joke Set to Comic Strip by four_legged_tripod 6-25-09
52! Woo Hoo! 52! Ma'am, I'm sorry but the other customers are complaining about the noise.	Oh. Well I'm just really excited. I just completed a puzzle and it only took me 52 days. 52 days? That doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment.	I thought it was. The box said "3 to 5 years."

2926. Simian Says: God's Plan

by four_legged_tripod on June 24, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Simian Says: God's Plan by four_legged_tripod 6-24-09
Here's the deal monkey, you and I both know you can't stay here and keeping you out of hell really pisses off Satan ... So what then, purgatory?	No. Purgatory's a myth I created to keep the Catholics busy. I'm talking reincarnation. It's a myth as well but I have the power to do it. You're going to send me back to Earth as someone else to teach me a lesson?	You'll be seen by a lot of people but you'll have a face that no one will love so you'll be doomed to be around people but not have sex. So am I coming back as Clint Howard or Steve Buscemi?

2927. Family Man #16

by bike on June 16, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Family Man #16 by bike 6-16-09
I think that you should join more extra-curriculars. It would be good for you to have more team activities and make more friends and... here comes the wharrgarbl...	Are you even listening to me?! Frak this, I'm gonna go play Mario Kart...	I just do not know how to communicate with her anymore! It's like she just ignores anything I say - like it all goes in one ear and... wharrgarbl time again...

2928. My Kind of Barbershop

by lima on May 5, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

My Kind of Barbershop by lima 5-05-09
I'm sorry but if you want a haircut you'll have to pay in cash. I can't take "A bottle of wine, oral sex, mouthwash and some laxatives" as a replacement. I mean why on earth... It'll be fine! Drink the wine first and then decide. Thats what its for.	And the mouthwash? For after the oral sex	Do I even want to know what the laxatives are for? Probably not

2929. Reign Man

by biped on April 27, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Reign Man by biped 4-27-09
Better to REIGN IN HELL than to serve in Heaven! Right, motherfucker? HAW HAW HAW! (GASP!)	Later... Well, here I am! When does my reign begin? Err...excuse me?	Well, I only got assraped 10,000 times today, so I can't complain. How's about you? It's my birthday, so I get to drink a million gallons of diseased dog piss! Mmm-boy!

2930. Sally's acting lesson

by HCRoyall on April 24, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Sally's acting lesson by HCRoyall 4-24-09
Class, we have a special guest today! Acclaimed actor Jeremy Irons! And he's going to give you a demonstration of how to act in a film! Actually, I'm porn actor Ron Jeremy.	Er... What? Now kids, the first thing to remember about working in adult films is flexibility...	Mommy! Guess what we learned in class today! -Sigh- Just go clean up for dinner, Sally.

2931. The Game of Kings

by lima on April 16, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

The Game of Kings by lima 4-16-09
Whats this? Its the Najdorf variation of the Sicilian defence. I'm going for control of the centre of the board.	My game is a tour de force against the so-called 'Hungarian Attack'. Gary Kasparov has nothing on me.	I never knew Connect 4 was so complicated Then you've never played it properly

2932. Esoteric

by Aylear on March 21, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Esoteric by Aylear 3-21-09
Morals and values. I tend to not like it when you have these insights.	Just musing. You must admit, the only reason we even have those words is so that the majority can impose them upon the minority. Our society, our rules. The majority getting what they want is the basis of society, and most of what we want we do because of genetic programming. Reproduction, habitation, self-preservation...	I stopped believing in evolution when I realized the most prosperous humans are the brainless ones. I can never decide if you're a genius or a dumbass.