Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1151. If you are happy and you know it, suck my cock!

by shank on October 14, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

If you are happy and you know it, suck my cock! by shank 10-14-07
If you are happy and you know it, suck my cock!	If you are happy and you know it suck my cock!	if you are happy and you know it and you really wanna blow it, if you are happy and you know it suck my cock! I am happy and you know it!

1152. Touch Therapy is shit

by ojcme on September 19, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Touch Therapy is shit by ojcme 9-19-07
I'm trying to stop being gay. Come to the therapy sessions with me! We do stuff like touch therapy.	Oh, what's that? It's where we hug and one of us pretends we're the supporting father figure we never had growing up.	How is that different from when we were fucking?

1153. No One Likes Dave #7

by fraod on August 30, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

No One Likes Dave #7 by fraod 8-30-07
Can you feel it? Feel what?	The office...It's so quiet. So peaceful. Everyone's working in harmony... Hey, I can feel it! I wonder what's changed...	They're probably doing helicoptor sweeps of the area. I'll be rescued any minute now.

1154. Maidens' Primer : For that not-so-fresh feeling (part 2)

by themushroom on July 29, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Maidens' Primer : For that not-so-fresh feeling (part 2) by themushroom 7-29-07
The next day... So Bill, how are you feeling today? Wow! I'm really with-it and feeling 'fresher' than I have in ages!	Did you get the "Sweet Love" tuna sandwich douche from Dollar Bin? Nah, I went to Thrift City and bought a vinegar douche and a baking soda douche, and tried both of them out.	Never thought of that before. So how did that work out? Two words, Steve: scrubbing bubbles. Hoo hoo hoo!

1155. Orange Soda : Bjork

by finn34 on July 24, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Orange Soda : Bjork by finn34 7-24-07
Just think about this :	What kind of sounds does Bjork make while fucking?	You've just imagined the sound of Chaos

1156. related madness from the lead that's in the sealing wax

by mandingo on July 21, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

related madness from the lead that's in the sealing wax by mandingo 7-21-07
what do you want for dinner? how about bacon and eg...	! ...eg...egxtra bacon	you were gonna say eggs, weren't you! why, you feel a couple stirring?

1157. The Final Harry Potter Book

by Intoxicatious on July 4, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Final Harry Potter Book by Intoxicatious 7-04-07
How does your final book end? I'm sadden to tell you that two major characters die.	You don't have to cry. They're only story book characters. They aren't real. YES THEY ARE! I have Daniel Radcliffe in my closet right now. It's the only way to keep him safe from Lord Voldemort.

1158. goat dumping

by mandingo on June 27, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

goat dumping by mandingo 6-27-07
*dumping: $100 fine* what are you doing?	holy crap, you're alive? i thought you were some statue someone dumped here illegally. nope, i'm alive alright. a-live. 100% living. goatus non-mortis	*loitering: $200 fine* but alive can mean so many different things. i think Kant put it best when he said...

1159. Girls

by areallystupidguy on March 27, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Girls by areallystupidguy 3-27-07
hey, YOU'RE a girl! maybe YOU can help me! huh? what do you need?		what's menopause like?

1160. Random Fathead

by gabe_billings on March 26, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Random Fathead

Cleetus is not impressed with avant garde modern art Well fuck, I could shit on a canvas and smear it around with my cat, too. BUT I DON'T, 'CAUSE MY MOMMA RAISED ME RIGHT!

by gabe_billings, 3-26-07

1161. jungle gym & juice

by mandingo on March 21, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

jungle gym & juice by mandingo 3-21-07
time to come in, Billy awwww, mom	don't "awwww, mom" me. i gave you lots of time to play. now say goodbye to the Dogpound bye, guys.	does he have to, Mrs. J? *sniff* it's kinda hard bein snoop d-o-double-g

1162. Someone should say something.

by Xion on January 6, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Someone should say something. by Xion 1-06-07
I wanted to apologize to you for calling you those horrible names when you said Pastor Ben was a pedophile.		Did he... It was horrible.

1163. Why share?

by Xion on January 5, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Why share? by Xion 1-05-07
... I'm having an abortion.		Would you like onion rings with your abortion?

1164. Learning from past mistakes...

by pita on October 11, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Learning from past mistakes... by pita 10-11-06
And who was this loose woman you were with? Tina? Mary? Angela? I can't tell you, father... I promised I wouldn't tell.	I admire you for keeping confidence... but you've sinned and now you must atone. You cannot be an altar boy for two months.	Later... You TOLD him??? What did you get? A two month vacation and three good leads!

1165. Back to the Present

by RedfeatheR on October 9, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Back to the Present by RedfeatheR 10-09-06
Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?	ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP	Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?

1166. Greetings

by Skin on July 27, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Greetings by Skin 7-27-06
Hey buddy! Who's a good kitty? You touch me and you're pulling back a bloody stump.	Hey! Where's the love?	Now I don't know if you're being playful or being an asshole. Yep, sounds like a tuffy.

1167. Dungbeetle Elementary

by smamurai on June 8, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Dungbeetle Elementary

A new term begins at Dung F Beetle Good morning everybody. EAT SHIT AND DIE! You have all graduated Captain my captain

by smamurai, 6-08-06

1168. Life In The Office - Ep. 59 "Know Thy Client"

by Chi_The_Cynic on April 25, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Life In The Office - Ep. 59 "Know Thy Client" by Chi_The_Cynic 4-25-06
...and that's the end of the demo. So can you see an area of your business where this product would come in useful? Well, I can't, but I'm sure Tony can. He's an expert with this product.	Erm... so why did you request a demo of the product, given that you already own it and have an expert in-house? I didn't	Then why am I here giving this demo today? Well, your salesman kept ringing me up asking if he could schedule a demo, and so I agreed, just to get him off my back.

1169. Chat Up Lines

by The_young_scot on March 24, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Chat Up Lines by The_young_scot 3-24-06
Excuse me, I'd like to get past you so I can talk to that fine piece of ass over there Thats my wife		Don't cock block me

1170. I love to work at nothing all day

by kaufman on March 5, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

I love to work at nothing all day by kaufman 3-05-06
Wal-Mart announced that it will allow its pharmacists to be conscientious objectors and not dispense medicine against their religious beliefs.	Honey, I'm finally going to get a job. I'm going to be a pharmacist. A pharmacist? You can't do that. You know nothing about medicine!	I don't have to. I'm converting to Christian Science.

1171. Acoustic Guitars Instigate Bad Stuff

by Scyess on January 10, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Acoustic Guitars Instigate Bad Stuff by Scyess 1-10-06
Yo, dude. Wanna buy my CD? What kind of music is it?	It's a bunch of songs about my political views featuring -- ... just you and your acoustic guitar?	Dude! How did you know? Lucky guess.

1172. RACIST!!!

by ojcme on January 8, 2006
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

RACIST!!! by ojcme 1-08-06
Prison....OF RACISM! ...so black person number one and black person number two..... Wait a minute here....	...black people look different from each other?

1173. One way to get a wake

by kaufman on December 2, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

One way to get a wake by kaufman 12-02-05
I'm feeling thirsty, Caesar. Got something to drink? Sure, Brutus. All sorts of sodas. What kind would you like?	I'm feeling sleepy. How about something with lots of caffeine? A Dew, Brute?

1174. Boy Toys

by AccentuateNegative on September 24, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Boy Toys by AccentuateNegative 9-24-05
What do you think I should get my friend's five year-old son for his birthday party. Do they still make My Lil Pony?	Um...maybe a game would be better. How about Mystery Date?	Do you have any idea what boys like to play with? Of course, but he already has one of those.

1175. Ask A Gay Man Anything

by AccentuateNegative on September 14, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Ask A Gay Man Anything by AccentuateNegative 9-14-05
dear vaginally challenged male, if gays are born gay, why aren't their first words always "PAlease?"	Dear Confused, for the record, no vagina has ever chalenged me and won, but to answer your question...	whatEVER!

1176. Cigar butts

by mandingo on August 13, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Cigar butts by mandingo 8-13-05
Mr. Smith? yes	i'm afraid we had to amputate your wife's legs you must have the wrong Mr. Smith. my wife is in labor	we couldn't save the baby's legs either

1177. Ranger's World

by Ranger77 on August 5, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Ranger's World by Ranger77 8-05-05
And so, later at the B00by Trap... So what do you think? Nice place, eh? We just paid $20 for parking, $7 for coat check and $25 for the cover and two drink minimum. We haven't even sat down yet.	Dude, you're, like, being too negative. Look around at these babes. Table dance heaven! So let me get this straight: your solution for my being frustrated with my wife is to come here and get aroused and frustrated by a $20 lap dance.	You're not getting into this are you? And they only have Pepsi! No Coke! Just SEVEN DOLLAR Pepsi!

1178. am i getting bitter?

by mandingo on August 3, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

am i getting bitter? by mandingo 8-03-05
	nope! still tastes like heaven! better check again

1179. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on June 23, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 6-23-05
Are we really a bunch of delusional power fanatics? I don't believe that. We serve a purpose. We protect and serve. We're heroes, not violent sociopaths. Hey EnergyGrrl, do you have any spot remover? Stupid perp bled like a stuck pig when I hit him in the face. And then he tried to pull a knife on me. Fucking idiot.	Don't worry, I didn't kill him. At least I don't think I did. He might not be able to use his legs anytime soon, but who knows with the recent advancements in prosthetics he might actually....	What?

1180. The God Couple - Episode 7

by fuzzyman on April 27, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The God Couple - Episode 7 by fuzzyman 4-27-05
Damn, what in the world is that smell? Myrrh. Did I put on too much? I've got a hot date tonight.	It's a little strong. Say, wasn't myrrh used as an accompaniment to the ancient Hebrew meat-offering at the temple? Yeah, baby!	I don't want to know. Once you go Jesus, no other meat pleases!

1181. Castling

by evil_d on March 22, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Castling by evil_d 3-22-05
________________________________________________________________________________________	________________________________________________________________________________________

1182. Sportsman

by Scyess on November 11, 2007
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Sportsman by Scyess 11-11-07
Got 'em! And only wounded, too!	Okay... I sterilized the wound, removed the bullet with my forceps, then sutured the whole thing closed. You're good to go.	Reckon I'll give him a few minute's head start before I go after him again. Hunting with vetrenarians is so weird.

1183. Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!"

by Ranger77 on February 1, 2005
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "It's a Monk's Life!" by Ranger77 2-01-05
So you're saying you've divorced yourself from pop culture. Dude, you know it. We're being marketed to constantly. It's like a fungus that feeds on our wants and desires.	Wow, that's....um....pretty insightful. I refuse to be swayed by petty claims and plastic smiles.	Interesting. By the way, I've got these Limited Edition Activist 3000 Birkenstocks for sale on eBay. It comes with a certificate of authenticity.... DUDE, does it have a reserve?!