Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1101. Kiss my grandpa's ass

by seanator on November 23, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Kiss my grandpa's ass by seanator 11-23-09
Dave is your run of the mill security guard...	except for one secret power, his kisses cure cancer!	but kissing people with cancer grosses him out. You can practically "sense" the dying...

1102. Monet Talks

by four_legged_tripod on November 20, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Monet Talks by four_legged_tripod 11-20-09
You've been staring at me for the past month. You got somethin' to say?	Well, do ya? I'm tired of all of this silent treatment bullshit.	Sorry dude. I can't hear you. My ears are Baroque.

1103. The Clown Brothers in "The Only Pun I Ever Made Up"

by biped on November 14, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Clown Brothers in "The Only Pun I Ever Made Up" by biped 11-14-09
I went to the circus yesterday. Oh? How was it?	It was in tents.	Goodnight, everybody! Please drive safely.

1104. Night Skills

by Scyess on November 9, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Night Skills by Scyess 11-09-09
For your information, I happen to know that I am absolutely fabulous in bed. Oh, really?	It's true. I can do any position I please, for five hours at a time...	...and still feel like I've slept for eight full hours! Even face down. You are a master.

1105. swelling of the extremities

by FactoryRejects on November 7, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

swelling of the extremities by FactoryRejects 11-07-09
Kill your wife. Kill your wife. Kill your wife.	Kiiiillllllllllllllllll your wife.	-and nausea. That's it. ......why are you asking about side effects anyway, Bill? It's just heartburn medication. You sure you're alright? I'm fine.

1106. Same thing.

by ojcme on October 22, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Same thing. by ojcme 10-22-09
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, that's good. That's good. Just like that, NO NO NO	Okay, this is working, oh damnit! What's with all the racket. You masturbatin' again?	No, dad. I'm making webcomics on stripcreator. Same thing.

1107. The Oldies Aren't Goodies 2

by biped on October 18, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Oldies Aren't Goodies 2 by biped 10-18-09
Mother's here for a visit. Try not to upset her.	YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTER!!!	Well, I hope you're happy.

1108. The Night Has Zesty Italian

by Namgubed on October 11, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Night Has Zesty Italian by Namgubed 10-11-09
Meanwhile, at the optometrist ... Our computer just finished the analysis of your ... unique vision corrective solution. Great. So, what have you got for me?	Unfortunately, each part of your multi-faceted eyes requires a different magnification strength, and we don't have any thousand-eye lens. That's OK, Doc ...	I prefer Ranch.

1109. Earth And Elsewhere

by Stevorama on September 29, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Earth And Elsewhere by Stevorama 9-29-09
Listen, if I let you crash here, can I trust you to be a good roommate?	Absolutely. I'm quiet as a mouse, I'm clean as a whistle, I shower twice a day, and I eat like a bird.	OK, get your stuff, I'll get your room ready. Who knew you could cross your hoof?

1110. you know, the Bern flag has a bear on it

by LuckyGuess on September 24, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

you know, the Bern flag has a bear on it by LuckyGuess 9-24-09
How much do you pay to send your family to the emergency room? Eight twelve packs of Tecate.		You measure medical bills in hypothetical beer purchases. Doesn't everyone?

1111. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

by kaufman on September 19, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! by kaufman 9-19-09
I wonder what Stephen Hawking does on Talk Like a Pirate Day?		Maybe he uses a chainsaw.

1112. Labor Day

by muffindance on September 6, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Labor Day by muffindance 9-06-09
DADDY, WHY DO BRITISH PEOPLE SPELL "LABOUR" WITH A "U"?	BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY	THAT MUST MEAN I'M BRITISH

1113. Work

by muffindance on September 6, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Work by muffindance 9-06-09
MY BOSS JUST ASKED ME HOW MUCH I ACCOMPLISHED THIS WEEK	I TOLD HIM I HAD DONE NOTHING BUT MAKE A HUGE POWERPOINT PRESENTATION OF ALL THE GAY PORN ON MY COMPUTER	THEN HE GAVE ME A PAY RAISE

1114. What if Rape Meant Smurf?

by four_legged_tripod on July 2, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

What if Rape Meant Smurf? by four_legged_tripod 7-02-09
Rape you, Jokey Rape! You had no right to rape me without asking my rape-ing permission!	Oh shut your rape hole Rape-ette! I'll tell Papa Rape about the other night and he'll rape his foot so far up your rape hole ...	Billy? Why is this door locked? Are you jerking off to those Rapes again?

1115. Bathroom Rules

by four_legged_tripod on June 26, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Bathroom Rules by four_legged_tripod 6-26-09
Hey kid. You didn't wash your hands after you used the bathroom. Yeah, so?	In the Army, they taught us to wash our hands after we used the bathroom.	Yeah, well in kindergarten, they taught us not to piss on our hands.

1116. Wikipedia Random Article Comic: Zemtly

by lima on May 19, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Wikipedia Random Article Comic: Zemtly by lima 5-19-09
Zemły [ˈzɛmwɨ] is a village in the administrative district of Gmina Mokobody, within Siedlce County, Masovian Voivodeship, in east-central Poland.	Half of its population reside in small purpose-built appartment blocks, built by the Soviets in the late fifties to house local farmers.	The other half are in a pub in Chelmsford.

1117. FUCK THIS SHIT LETS PLAY UNO

by RCCOLAMAN on May 15, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

FUCK THIS SHIT LETS PLAY UNO by RCCOLAMAN 5-15-09
My lord, I promise you I will emerge triumphant from battle this time!! I swear it! Godspeed my son, may the winds of goltana guide you to victory!	Connect Four! I win! NOOOOOOOO!!

1118. The Seuss Proposition

by biped on April 21, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Seuss Proposition by biped 4-21-09
Would you eat them in a bookstore? Would you eat them with a crackwhore?	I will not eat them in a bookstore. I will not eat them with a crackwhore. I will not eat them anywhere. I do not like them, Pubic Hare. Okay...fine.	How 'bout outta this guy's asshole?

1119. Get a Grip

by choadwarrior on April 18, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Get a Grip by choadwarrior 4-18-09
Know any good websites? No. You know I'm not into social networking sites, gaming sites, blogs, and I don't spend hours scouring the net looking for hilarious videos.	Then what do you do online? I've always taken a zen approach to the web.	What's that? The sound of one hand fapping.

1120. The Great Penguin Uprising

by AngryAmerican on March 31, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

The Great Penguin Uprising by AngryAmerican 3-31-09
OK, here's the plan. You know that human geological outpost a couple of miles south of here? Yeah, what about it?	We're gonna raid it, slaughter the inhabitants and steal their Xbox 360. The great penguin uprising begins tonight! I don't know man. I don't think its a good idea to let the humans know how smart we are.	They have weed. I'll get my chainsaw.

1121. Sam the Satanist (6)

by evil_d on March 25, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Sam the Satanist (6) by evil_d 3-25-09
I'm thinking about moving my bowels. If you keep telling me things like that, I'm going to Human Resources.	Sorry! It's just that they've been irritating me. I have too many now for the box they're in, plus it's all the way across the house from the altar I use for sacrifices.	Oh, come on, don't be so sensitive! It's not like I'm talking about human entrails! They're goats', mostly!

1122. What we all go to school for

by carefully_strange on March 22, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

What we all go to school for by carefully_strange 3-22-09
Wow. How'd you guess that? Just a shot in the dark. What are you taking here anyway?	I'm getting my BA in FA. They have a bachelors degree in Fuck All?	Fine Art Close enough

1123. Deadpan

by Aylear on March 19, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Deadpan by Aylear 3-19-09
Well, I apologise for keeping you waiting. I am used to it.		Was that humour? I am not sure. I could not tell over the sound of your aging.

1124. You're a Book Store, Aintcha

by christopher7murphy on March 2, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha by christopher7murphy 3-02-09
Did you order some more screw in lightbulbs for our booklights? It wasn't my screwin' job to order the screwin' bulbs!	um...Not "screwin' bulbs," I meant SCREW-IN bulbs...as opposed to plug-in bulbs. Ohhhhh!	It wasn't my FUCKin' job!

1125. Oggy and Dorian (A 21st Century Goofus And Gallant) V

by Ogyaf on February 28, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Oggy and Dorian (A 21st Century Goofus And Gallant) V by Ogyaf 2-28-09
Oggy likes to set mice free outside with little harm done to them after catching them in a trap... Run along now. Shoo!		...Dorian likes to torture mice for information after catching them in a trap NOW TELL ME WHO YOU'RE WORKING FOR!!!

1126. You're a Book Store, Aintcha

by christopher7murphy on January 11, 2009
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha by christopher7murphy 1-11-09
I'm a little busy right now! But I forgot the password to get into the customer orders!	Can it wait? I'm trying to take a shit!	No, that's too many letters!

1127. how to tell if your pedophile is a PE teacher

by areallystupidguy on October 29, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

how to tell if your pedophile is a PE teacher by areallystupidguy 10-29-08
hey little boy, how'd you like to come for a ride with me in my van? i dunno... do you have any candy?	that stuff's really unhealthy, wouldn't you rather have a protein shake? pass

1128. Crunchy #2

by TheGovernor on October 28, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Crunchy #2 by TheGovernor 10-28-08
Whats up Brian? You sounded desperate on the phone It's no good Bob, I've tried, but I just can't imagine any more money	Now calm down Brian just remember what they taught us at the NASDAQ, when you can't imagine money, just imagine stock bonds instead It's not working Bob, all I can think of are naked carnival midgets eating pop-tarts	Dear god, its like '87 Crash all over again I know, and its spreading. Bill from Fannie Mae said all he could imagine was Yoda being spitroasted by Chewbacca and an Ewok

1129. Captain Morgan Stanley Dean Whitter Interview

by umfumdisi on October 22, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Captain Morgan Stanley Dean Whitter Interview by umfumdisi 10-22-08
What would you say are your most important leadership qualities? A steady hand, a quick fist, and a lash o' the whip.	Hmmm. And what are the four cornerstones of a strong business? Rape. Rhyme. Rob. Pillage.	Three out of four -- not bad...

1130. Joe Dirt

by seanator on October 3, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Joe Dirt by seanator 10-03-08
One fine day... So did you hear? Heather Locklear didn't deserve to be arrested! A member of the tabloids called the cops. Just to get a story. what scum. Was she really drunk though?	No, she blew a zero. so?	what does David Spade have to do with anything?

1131. Uncle Vampire

by choadwarrior on September 15, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Uncle Vampire by choadwarrior 9-15-08
Aren't you going to invite me in? Dad says you're not allowed here anymore.	Listen you little shit, you'd better invite me in...I need a place to crash before the sun comes up and if you don't invite me, I'll... You'll do what? Have to stand outside until I do?	Don't make me use this. That power is also useless unless I pull it.

1132. Hope

by andydougan on September 12, 2008
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

Hope by andydougan 9-12-08
Will the horror ever cease?	Well, cosmologists posit that, in several trillion years, the universe will reach thermal equilibrium and reality itself will be unsustainable. So there's light at the end of the tunnel.	Ach! That's ages away! Well, it's not a perfect world, okay?