Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

601. Going to the Mattresses

by four_legged_tripod on September 17, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Going to the Mattresses by four_legged_tripod 9-17-09
Daddy, can I have a pony? Hell no! Never again!	But why? Daddy's still in therapy working through what happened the last time we had a pony.	Shhhhh. My husband doesn't need to know.

602. Real Life: Family Bonds

by four_legged_tripod on July 13, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Real Life: Family Bonds by four_legged_tripod 7-13-09
Daddy? Can I have a sucker-- Punch?		Daddy! You hit me! What was that about? I know! It's weird! We're so connected that we're finishing each other's sentences.

603. I didn't start the fire.

by seanator on June 27, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

I didn't start the fire. by seanator 6-27-09
One fine day... Hey man, what are you doing?	I'm trying to upload my "Essential Billy Joel" CD to the computer, but it keeps giving me a "blank disc" error. At least we know your computer is working.

604. Superblind

by Beeko180 on April 26, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Superblind by Beeko180 4-26-09
STOP RIGHT THERE FIEND! Maybe you know I'm here. But if I completely fall silent you will lose all ability to know where I am.		SHOW YOURSELF!!!

605. You're an Adult Book Store, Aintcha

by evil_d on April 24, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

You're an Adult Book Store, Aintcha by evil_d 4-24-09
Excuse me. The sign outside says that this is an adult bookstore? That's correct, sir.	What makes it so adult? Can it have pages made of tobacco papers? Is it old enough to rent some rolling stacks? Can it consent to an intra-library loan? Its architecture is fully developed, and it's acquired the wisdom and maturity that come with age.	Also, it wants you to get off its property.

606. Resident Evil Rocks The Closet!

by skard123 on April 3, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Resident Evil Rocks The Closet! by skard123 4-03-09
Man, that new Resident Evil game rocks! Yeah.	I love the graphics, I love the gameplay, I love the gore, I love the zombies.... Yeah.	... I love you... Yea- wait, what?

607. Quit your day job

by Injokester on March 26, 2009
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Quit your day job by Injokester 3-26-09
Chen, we've decided to make you the project manager for Billing Control. You mean the project that's already 6 months past the deadline and 300% over budget?	That's the one. So am I the fall-guy or just being burdened with an impossible task?	So long as you intercept all the complaints from the rest of the project team before they get to me you can take your pick.

608. Xmas Traditions and Presents!

by Hatrix on November 8, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Xmas Traditions and Presents! by Hatrix 11-08-08
Don't cha just love xmas son? The lights, the music, the warmth of family. I know. It's so nice that the whole family can still gather for something as traditional as attending midnight mass together.	Yeah.	Well we should finish loading the truck and get out of here before they get back. Yeah let me just check the bedrooms for hidden presents.

609. Gifts Left On The Nightstand

by attitudechicka on April 27, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Gifts Left On The Nightstand by attitudechicka 4-27-08
So when I woke up in the morning, I found this note card on my bedside table. "A small token of my affection so that you will always remember the time we shared together." Kind of sweet. What was the gift?	Well, from what I can tell, pubic lice.	Elsewhere (or so I hope) What's in my hand? Flowers? Oh crap, if I still have the flowers, then that means...

610. I Get Away With It

by choadwarrior on April 26, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

I Get Away With It by choadwarrior 4-26-08
I'm a meat & potatoes kinda gal because of my Midwestern upbringing.	I didn't know you grew up there. Where did you think I came from?	Whales.

611. Godot

by CowTipper on March 24, 2008
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Godot by CowTipper 3-24-08
See this red light? There's no one around. I'm gonna run it just to prove a point. We spend way too much of our lives waiting... waiting for opportunity to come...	We wait for the right moment, for good news, for bad news, and we wait for the light to change when there's no-frickin-body around! While you were talking, it turned green.	Shit. Let's wait for it to turn red again so I can run it. Then let's blog about it.

612. Glad & Greasy

by AccentuateNegative on December 16, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Glad & Greasy by AccentuateNegative 12-16-07
Good news.	Your cholesterol and triglyceride levels are excellent.	Your HIV test is also negative. Looks like it's fried chicken and buttsex tonight.

613. CSI: Crime Scene Idiots #2

by fraod on August 28, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

CSI: Crime Scene Idiots #2 by fraod 8-28-07
This is gruesome...	Who could have done a thing like this? Yo momma.	That was only funny the first time. Knock it off.

614. Health Inspector

by mandingo on August 20, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Health Inspector by mandingo 8-20-07
what do you see?	a blowjob in my future if you want this place to stay open. we kind of expected. my mom's already disrobing in the broom closet	no need to bring her into this *gulp*

615. "...and then again a year later on stripcreator."

by Externalization on August 8, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

"...and then again a year later on stripcreator." by Externalization 8-08-07
So should we even bother going to see that Simpsons movie? Nah, why pay to see it now?	Just give it a week or two and we can hear all the same jokes for free on Family Guy.

616. Dirty Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

by kaufman on July 20, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Dirty Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by kaufman 7-20-07
I know what you're thinking., Voldemort "Did he fire six spells or only five?"	Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is the most powerful wand in the world ...	... and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

617. Drastic measures

by JStrong on August 15, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Drastic measures by JStrong 8-15-07
...and then Joey kissed Rachel because he saw Ross kissing his ex... Working here has become unbearable since the boss made discussing TV manditory while at the water cooler	...but Kramer put on the balm the Maestro gave him on the burn, so... I just need to wait it out, for the poison I put in the water cooler should take effect any minute now.	...and the difference between them was one was black on the right and white on the left, but the other was the other way around... Excellent. I can feel the life draining out or me.

618. Ad lib! Quick!

by mandingo on July 5, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Ad lib! Quick! by mandingo 7-05-07
shun me, will you??	THEN I SHUN YOU!	and that's why you never see any goats in support positions. but i asked why mommy died.

619. who looks forward to summer camp more than the parents?

by mandingo on June 27, 2007
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

who looks forward to summer camp more than the parents?

please, god, let them be promiscuous

by mandingo, 6-27-07

620. Cup of coffee

by Injokester on December 24, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Cup of coffee by Injokester 12-24-06
This year my new years resolution is to be kind to my fellow man, and spread joy wherever I go.		Also not to get caught with my penis in another cat whilst appearing on a reality show.

621. History of the space race: the middle ages (2)

by mmyers on September 26, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

History of the space race: the middle ages (2) by mmyers 9-26-06
*THOOP!* Monkey Away! Monkey Away!	Damn. 50 feet in the air, then straight to the ground. Say we actually get one of these little fellows to the moon, how do we get them back to Earth? Quite simple actually, we'll set up another catapult on the moon and...	Shit....Don't bother me with details!

622. Pinky and Mr. Pink

by Hari_Nezumi on June 26, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Pinky and Mr. Pink by Hari_Nezumi 6-26-06
Assanine: I'll give her face a two, and her assanine. Ha ha ha! Oh man, these Redneck vocabulary words are great! OK, my turn.	Butt rape: I'd like to butt rape that little girl over there.

623. The Official Don Adams Tribute

by biped on September 27, 2005
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

The Official Don Adams Tribute by biped 9-27-05
Brace yourself, sweetie -- Don Adams died. DON ADAMS!!! OH, NO!!! NOOOOOO!!! DON ADAMS DIED!!! DON ADAMS DIED!!!	Who's "Don Adams"?	...so I shot her.

624. Breakup 10

by ObiJo on February 3, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (12 votes)

Breakup 10 by ObiJo 2-03-04
Noah, I think it\'s over between us.

625. I'm sure I'm not the first person to make this joke

by evil_d on March 28, 2017
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

I'm sure I'm not the first person to make this joke by evil_d 3-28-17
I asked you to make something that I could award to the winner of our pinewood derby.	But what I unwrapped, in front of the whole troop and their parents, was a small statue of what appeared to be a feline's hindquarters.	Is that a problem? Problem?? It's a catasstrophy!

626. Lurve

by mandingo on November 23, 2015
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Lurve by mandingo 11-23-15
i know we're moving pretty fast but do you think it's possible to just KNOW?	your subconscious, your cells, your genes, whatever, just KNOWS. just realizes you've found the one?	Troy? what? oh, sweety, i'm sorry, were you talking to me? i tend to stop listening after they put out.

627. Groovy! - Lights! Camera! DAMMIT!

by edoggydog on August 3, 2015
Rating: 7.5 (10 votes)

Groovy! - Lights! Camera! DAMMIT! by edoggydog 8-03-15
In the beginning, God created the Earth and placed man on it.	God eventually realized that he had not done something right.	So, God created light and confirmed it! DAMMIT! What?

628. Sugar Plum Fairies

by four_legged_tripod on April 9, 2014
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Sugar Plum Fairies by four_legged_tripod 4-09-14
Aw Santa! What did you go and do now? The Sugar Plum faries were all dirty, so I washed them.	But now they're all wet. Go hang them out to dry. Fine!

629. CC575: Vielen Dank, Herr Hitler

by brycekain on March 24, 2014
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

CC575: Vielen Dank, Herr Hitler by brycekain 3-24-14
Jimmy, take a letter.	Dear Mr. Hitler. Thank you for patronage. The many years we have come to serve you have been a pleasure. We hope to serve you many more years to come. Sir? May I ask why we are thanking the most hated man in the known world?	Um... HELLO??? We ARE the GAS COMPANY!

630. Real Life: Lickity Split

by four_legged_tripod on October 7, 2013
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

Real Life: Lickity Split by four_legged_tripod 10-07-13
Dad? The dog's in the living room licking his privates again.	I wish I could do that. Uh...	You should probably ask the dog's permission first.

631. pillow talk

by four_legged_tripod on October 8, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

pillow talk

shut up you piece of sheet! fluff you!

by four_legged_tripod, 10-08-12

632. 555 (Random) - Max Payne 4: Jesus, Please Us

by umfumdisi on May 21, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

555 (Random) - Max Payne 4: Jesus, Please Us by umfumdisi 5-21-12
I'm ready to forgive you, Max. Even after all the senseless violence, bloodshed, whoremongering and killing...	in your video games? No, in your Bible.	Touché.

633. The Family Salt-Lick

by biped on March 12, 2012
Rating: 8.33 (9 votes)

The Family Salt-Lick by biped 3-12-12
Mom! Sally's hogging the family salt-lick! SALLY! YOU SHARE THAT SALT-LICK WITH YOUR BROTHER!	Way to be a big, fat tattletale, Bobby! Way to be a big, fat salt-lick hog, Sis!	Ed, we really need to get the kids their own salt-licks. PFFFT! When I was a kid, we licked the salt off our own arms and legs!