Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

851. Noah Aftermath

by ObiJo on February 11, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Noah Aftermath by ObiJo 2-11-04

852. Names Pt. 1

by HeuristicsInc on January 26, 2004
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Names Pt. 1 by HeuristicsInc 1-26-04
...so now I'm a superhero. But what I need next is a cool superhero name. You could call yourself "The Amazing Shark Boy."	That's no good. I'm a man, not a boy! Plus that name is kind of dumb. Oh. How about "The Amazing Shark Man"?	I don't think you get it. No? "The Amazing Shark Elderly Person"?

853. Vector? I hardly know her.

by thatsnotfunny on September 15, 2006
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

Vector? I hardly know her. by thatsnotfunny 9-15-06
4i + 6 What?	2i - 1 Huh?	What was wrong with the scale from 1 to 10? They're women. Rating them with irrational numbers is much more fitting.

854. CC 167: Anally Bleeing Guy |

by not_Scyess on January 27, 2003
Rating: 8.33 (6 votes)

CC 167: Anally Bleeing Guy | by not_Scyess 1-27-03
My anus is bleeding.		You're new to this whole "job interview" thing, aren't you? Well, if that doesn't set me apart from the other candidates, I'm not sure I want to work here, anyway.

855. Sort of like iron.

by lima on May 28, 2005
Rating: 8.3 (50 votes)

Sort of like iron. by lima 5-28-05
I'm allergic to Irony. When irony strikes, the muscles in my legs go limp. Wow. Thats kinda weird seeing as you also have a phobia of wheelchairs		sorry..

856. 5:15

by Scyess on February 21, 2002
Rating: 8.29 (38 votes)

5:15 by Scyess 2-21-02
*pant pant pant* I finally found you! Okay, here's the deal. The place has three security sub-systems and 20 armed guards. I'm going to go in the north way -- they'll expect that attack least.	But you have to get those security systems disabled by 1900 hours or else I'll be spending the rest of my life as the quadrapalegic love-bitch for some inmate named Spike. Okay! Let's move out!!!	In about two hours whoever that was is really going to wish I knew what the hell he was talking about.

857. You can change your shorts but you can't change your past

by boorite on July 26, 2007
Rating: 8.29 (35 votes)

You can change your shorts but you can't change your past by boorite 7-26-07
Let's see... programming homework or porn surfing? C'mon past self... do the right thing!	C'mon, c'mon, we don't wanna end up like this, do we?	Meh, programming homework. FUCK!

858. Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/11/07

by boloboffin on July 25, 2007
Rating: 8.28 (32 votes)

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/11/07 by boloboffin 7-25-07
Is this what it's like to be on a date, Daddy?	It depends. How much am I going to have to spend before you put out?

859. bad news

by mandingo on August 13, 2005
Rating: 8.28 (32 votes)

bad news by mandingo 8-13-05
i'm afraid i had to amputate your wife's leg	why??? it was the only way i could save her	BUT YOU'RE A DENTIST!!! no, sir. i'm the janitor

860. Catches-on-fire-in-the-second-panel-man

by dcomposed on September 17, 2008
Rating: 8.28 (29 votes)

Catches-on-fire-in-the-second-panel-man by dcomposed 9-17-08
Uh oh! It's Catches-on-fire- in-the-second- panel-man. That's right. And you're going straight to jail.		Continue the robbery.

861. God and Son: Detectives for hire.

by Ungreat on September 26, 2009
Rating: 8.27 (26 votes)

God and Son: Detectives for hire. by Ungreat 9-26-09
At a crime scene. It was that guy over there. How do you know?	I'm God.	Another case closed.

862. "The Godfather" on the Planet of the Horses

by DrMorton on February 18, 2008
Rating: 8.26 (23 votes)

"The Godfather" on the Planet of the Horses

Aaaaaaaah!

by DrMorton, 2-18-08

863. Gravity´s Raindrop

by DrMorton on October 23, 2007
Rating: 8.26 (23 votes)

Gravity´s Raindrop by DrMorton 10-23-07
Dear citizen! We are glad to inform you that the restauration of earth´s broken gravity field has been successfully completed.	Gravitation should therefore be reinstalled shortly after service of this notice. The City Council.

864. Quotas

by Hatrix on February 1, 2007
Rating: 8.26 (23 votes)

Quotas

You're kidding, right? Don't push me boy.

by Hatrix, 2-01-07

865. The Gay Agenda

by AccentuateNegative on January 22, 2006
Rating: 8.26 (23 votes)

The Gay Agenda by AccentuateNegative 1-22-06
Remember how the word "queer" used to mean odd? Then it was a gay slur, but now it's our word and you can't use it anymore.	We also took rainbows from you. Thanks to Brokeback Mountain, it won't be long before everyone assumes all cowboys are all gay, gay, gay.	Give us equal rights or we're going after puppies.

866. The Arf Side

by kaufman on November 3, 2009
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

The Arf Side

After a long, hard day, Rex likes nothing better than to go online and spend some quality time on Buttbook.

by kaufman, 11-03-09

867. Meatloaf Moose

by biped on May 20, 2009
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Meatloaf Moose by biped 5-20-09
Mmm-mmm...I sure wouldn't mind having some delicious meatloaf for dinner tonight. HELP US, MEATLOAF MOOSE!!!		Couldn't you just make some?

868. Victims of 9/11 part 2

by Creature_From_Beyond on June 12, 2008
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Victims of 9/11 part 2 by Creature_From_Beyond 6-12-08
9:04 AM September 11, 2001 WTC 2 Holy Shit! I just saw a huge fireball erupt out of the tower next door! Should we evacuate?	Now there are people jumping out of the building!	Let's go watch! Let's go watch!

869. Drunk priest

by mandingo on October 4, 2007
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Drunk priest by mandingo 10-04-07
you know what God would have created, if he wasn't such a miserly FUCK? piesicle. freeze a pie, jam a stick in it. that so hard, you omnipotent jew bastard? let me set the record straight. i read Da Vinci Code and let me tell you something, right here and now-- he was totally hitting that. a man's got needs. i know i do. your sons know i do too.	people on the right side of the church. you're skins. 21, win by 2. make it, take it, after 3. people on the left side of the church--ETERNAL DAMNATION! HAHAHA! seriously! yes, i can do that, Ms. Clarkson! check Leviticus, you old cow!	best. sermon. ever.

870. Historic Places

by Scyess on August 16, 2007
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Historic Places by Scyess 8-16-07
And here we have the tallest building this side of the Mississippi! Um, aren't you kind of stretching it to get to a superlative?	No. This is an historic tour full of significant and interesting facts. And I'll thank you not to ask obviuosly stupid questions like that!	...and here we have the longest bridge over a river whose name starts with "K" to ever have been walked over backwards by a left-handed dentist.

871. 100° at midnight

by mandingo on July 21, 2007
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

100° at midnight by mandingo 7-21-07
together, i think we can take him, Mr. Winky yeah?	unless the intense desert sun is making me hallucinate you. in which case, i'll go in thinking i have backup and get beaten retarded unless you're also hallucinating the robot	no chance. if i was hallucinating the robot, why would i make him so goddamn SEXY? sir, pull up your pants and step away from the ATM

872. The diagnosis

by Skin on November 5, 2006
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

The diagnosis by Skin 11-05-06
Well doc, what do the test results say? Mr. Johnson, I'm afraid you have a rather serious case of double pneumonia.	I... My God... Wait, there's DOUBLE pneumonia? We also find you at high risk of Supercancer.

873. The captive

by Skin on July 28, 2006
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

The captive by Skin 7-28-06
We marched for days across that desolate landscape. I knew that at the end of our journey my death awaited, and my bones would join those of the rest of my crew in uneasy rest far from home.	Appeals to the mercy of my tireless captor would go unheeded. The single baleful eye from which gazed out a vast alien intellect reflected not a glimmer of pity, nor of hope.	Man truly is but an insect beating its wings in an infinite night. Streaks of fire and matter may seem to mark our way through the darkness, but the vast spinning rocks shelter only madness and pain. Wanna play 'I Spy'?

874. Getting Replaced...

by Tterb on May 6, 2006
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Getting Replaced... by Tterb 5-06-06
Mr. G. Reaper? Yes?	It is your time. Come with me.	Wait.... what the fuck?

875. Missed Pick-Up Day Again

by Scyess on November 4, 2005
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Missed Pick-Up Day Again by Scyess 11-04-05
I've got it! What if -- insted of polluting the planet with landfills -- we just launch all our garbage on spaceships into the sun?	Well... for one that would eventually reduce the mass of the earth so much that we wouldn't be able to maintain orbit and fly off into space.	Erm... then... we could create a giant lasso to catch comets as they... Just take out the fucking recycling already, you lazy bastard.

876. Le Compartmentalist, ami de soi-disant connoisseurs

by evil_d on December 19, 2001
Rating: 8.25 (20 votes)

Le Compartmentalist, ami de soi-disant connoisseurs by evil_d 12-19-01
The other day, an ignorant friend -- acquaintance, I should say -- gave me a tape to listen to, saying it was the best death metal he'd heard in years.	When I played it, it turned out not to be DEATH metal at all, but BLACK metal! Can you believe that? Was it any good?	What the hell does that have to do with anything?

877. Bad News Gone Worse

by HCRoyall on September 10, 2005
Rating: 8.24 (74 votes)

Bad News Gone Worse by HCRoyall 9-10-05
So what's it say? Blue stripe is positive and red is negative, right?	Yeah. So what does it mean if it's a neon green pentagram and smoking slightly?	It means the kid'll take after your side of the family.

878. Personnel Jesus

by umfumdisi on March 29, 2007
Rating: 8.24 (37 votes)

Personnel Jesus by umfumdisi 3-29-07
I know you're a bit behind on your monthly reports, but in business, we each have our own	... uh ... "cross to bear?"	Take your time...

879. Plate Pandemic

by RedfeatheR on July 25, 2007
Rating: 8.24 (34 votes)

Plate Pandemic by RedfeatheR 7-25-07
Damn these things. I can never remember my license plate number I have one of those custom tags	yeah? ...hm... what's yours say? HAS * HIV	I will never forget that

880. Spoiler

by ladyjdotnet on July 21, 2007
Rating: 8.24 (34 votes)

Spoiler by ladyjdotnet 7-21-07
I got a sweet new spoiler installed on my car. Oh really?	Yeah, it says "Hermione dies on page 73!"

881. Family matters

by Skin on August 9, 2006
Rating: 8.24 (34 votes)

Family matters by Skin 8-09-06
...and I don't care how many science fairs you win, Jared, if I hear about you swearing again, I will smack your mouth, mister. Sounds real good. Hey, while you were talking, I took the house into orbit.		Wanna go ahead and set us back down, champ? Wanna go ahead and raise my fucking allowance, Dwight?

882. CC469: Untitled Comic Competition Entry

by ZMannZilla on February 5, 2011
Rating: 8.24 (17 votes)

CC469: Untitled Comic Competition Entry by ZMannZilla 2-05-11
Saturday, November 12th 1955 10:03:57 ...and DONE! Prepare to go back to the future! No Doc, STOP! There's something I HAVE to tell you!	Saturday, November 12th 1955 10:03:59 I told you, Marty, I can't know about the future, it's too dangerous! No, asshole, it's about me - you set the flux capacitor for three seconds into the paaaaaaast!!!	Saturday, November 12th 1955 10:03:57 ...and DONE! Prepare to go back to the future! No Doc, STOP! There's something I HAVE to tell you!

883. International House of Puncakes

by ladyjdotnet on April 29, 2010
Rating: 8.24 (17 votes)

International House of Puncakes by ladyjdotnet 4-29-10
I ordered the German pancakes, but I don't know what these are. That is the correct meal, sir.	But they're all dark and dense. What were you expecting?	I guess I kind of thought they'd be light and Aryan. Might I interest you in some luftwaffles, instead?

884. Just Rub My Face in it Won't 'Cha?

by four_legged_tripod on March 22, 2010
Rating: 8.24 (17 votes)

Just Rub My Face in it Won't 'Cha? by four_legged_tripod 3-22-10
...so then we decided to go camping down by the lake where my uncle keeps his motorboat so we could go jet skiing and Rachel said that she couldn't...	...so finally we used the oak leaves to wipe away the poison --- Hey! I feel like all you've done tonight is stare at my tits. Have you even heard a word I said?	Motorboat.