Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

201. You're a Book Store, Aintcha?

by christopher7murphy on September 6, 2007
Rating: 8.67 (15 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 9-06-07
I'm Looking for "BFG: The Big Fukin' Giant" by Roald Dahl. "Friendly!"	What? It's "BFG: The Big FRIENDLY Giant." And I'll go get it for you.	No...I don't want it anymore. -sigh-

202. Watch this!

by ladyjdotnet on May 13, 2007
Rating: 8.67 (15 votes)

Watch this! by ladyjdotnet 5-13-07
Now? Nope.	Now? Nope.	Now? Dude!

203. McDonalds

by Injokester on July 6, 2004
Rating: 8.67 (15 votes)

McDonalds by Injokester 7-06-04
Do McDonalds french fries count as a vegetable? No.	What about the potato they cover in apple sauce to make the apple pies? No, it's artificial potato.	Does anything from McDonald's count as a vegetable? Only if it's wearing a uniform.

204. and it's still funny!

by ladyjdotnet on May 9, 2001
Rating: 8.67 (15 votes)

and it's still funny! by ladyjdotnet 5-09-01
If you tell me a little bit more about your long lost son, perhaps I can help reunite you with him.	Well, he was the son of a carpenter, and very sweet and good, and he had holes in his hands.	Father?!?! Pinocchio?!?!

205. How we felt

by Skin on February 7, 2008
Rating: 8.65 (48 votes)

How we felt by Skin 2-07-08
Mark, baby, I know this isn't easy, but I feel strange... almost like I can't trust you. I don't... I can't understand... Janie, please don't leave...	I thought this might be difficult for you, but maybe you can talk to...	Mr. Handpuppy! Oh thank god. Mr. H, you've gotta cover for me, I think my girlfriend knows I screwed her sister.

206. OPC51: Radíkovice Council On Tourism

by ZMannZilla on June 11, 2010
Rating: 8.65 (26 votes)

OPC51: Radíkovice Council On Tourism

Radíkovice (Czech pronunciation: [ˈraɟiːkovɪtsɛ]) is a village in the Czech Republic. ...and that's our entire Wikipedia entry. No wonder we don't get tourists! Seriously? Nothing about the talking dinosaurs?

by ZMannZilla, 6-11-10

207. ...the remaining pages have been torn out.

by FactoryRejects on July 16, 2009
Rating: 8.65 (26 votes)

...the remaining pages have been torn out.

Nov 22 - The smiling nine-eyed creature appeared again today and followed me around - once in a while muttering "soon, John... very soon". My name is not John but this still causes me great concern

by FactoryRejects, 7-16-09

208. Five. Fucking FIVE.

by lima on May 7, 2009
Rating: 8.65 (26 votes)

Five. Fucking FIVE. by lima 5-07-09
The French word for 'now' has three syllables. Three! By the time you've finished saying maintenant its probably too late.	Spanish is the same! A hora! Why can't they all have a proper language, like English. We don't fuck around when we need things done quick eh? They should sort it out.	Immediately.

209. Why Aliens Never Decide To Invade Earth

by umfumdisi on April 13, 2008
Rating: 8.65 (26 votes)

Why Aliens Never Decide To Invade Earth by umfumdisi 4-13-08
Rock. Rock.	Damn! Damn!	Rock. Rock.

210. Pete's Skeptic Service

by Zaster on September 22, 2004
Rating: 8.65 (26 votes)

Pete's Skeptic Service by Zaster 9-22-04
Yes? I'm here from Pete's Skeptic Service.	I called for Pete's SEPTIC Service. Our tank needs draining. Oh, I rather doubt that. In fact, I find the idea ludicrous.	That'll be 50 dollars, please.

211. God's Image

by squidrabies on January 10, 2008
Rating: 8.67 (45 votes)

God's Image by squidrabies 1-10-08
I created everything and everone, right? So that's not enough for them now? Apparently not, sir. They'd like you to... you know... make things better.	Better than not existing? Don't they already have that? Specifically, they're not too excited about cancer. Or retarded kids. Or genocide.	I thought I gave them a sense of humor. It's not quite as refined as yours, sir.

212. A Baby Seal Walks into a Club

by four_legged_tripod on March 2, 2016
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

A Baby Seal Walks into a Club

by four_legged_tripod, 3-02-16

213. Kramer = F4G0T (Still)

by kramer_vs_kramer on February 23, 2015
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Kramer = F4G0T (Still) by kramer_vs_kramer 2-23-15
I can't believe it's been over twelve years since I turned down that threesome with the two goth girls at the student union. I know! What were you thinking?	In my defense, I thought it was some kind of prank. I was expecting one of them to reveal they were Ashton Kutcher in a mask, but I'd still have to go through with it. Ashton Kutcher? You mean you'd have to blow Jobs?	This is why everyone leaves.

214. Presidential Protein

by four_legged_tripod on October 29, 2014
Rating: 8.75 (12 votes)

Presidential Protein by four_legged_tripod 10-29-14
And on our left, you'll see our collection of 1990s memorabilia.	Including a swatch of Monica Lewinsky's blue dress.	______________________________________________________________________

215. The Terminator Goes To Kindergarten

by UnknownEric on August 8, 2014
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

The Terminator Goes To Kindergarten by UnknownEric 8-08-14
Okay students, it's time to pick roles for our class play of "Great Composers" Oooh, I'll be Beethoven!	I'll be Mozart. Ah'll be Bach.

216. Bite Me!

by four_legged_tripod on February 4, 2013
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Bite Me! by four_legged_tripod 2-04-13
So I saw the new Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunter movie and turned my mother's place into a candy house. I'll charge admission and it comes with its own witch! Sweet!	"Get a job!" This is my new job mom! Get off my back!	"I was talking to the black guy!"

217. new comic: why my girlfriend hates baseball

by Humpenstein on October 20, 2012
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

new comic: why my girlfriend hates baseball by Humpenstein 10-20-12
They were out of flowers and chocolate so I just picked up some beer and weed instead.	...and I think Cody, Rob, Alex, Lou, Max, Kyle and Andrew might come over to watch the game.	Happy Birthday babe!

218. The White House, December 8, 1941

by kaufman on September 14, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

The White House, December 8, 1941 by kaufman 9-14-11
Yes, terday, Decem, ber, 7, 1941, a date, What's the matter with the president? He sounds hesitant, not up to his usual oratorial skills. No kidding. If he keeps talking like this, he'll bore most of America to sleep, rather than mobilize them to war.	which, will, live in, in, famy, the United, And what's this dead Japanese guy doing by the typewriter?	States of, A, merica, was, sud, denly, ... He must have altered the speech! Oh my god, a comma-kaze attack!

219. cc485

by mandingo on September 10, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

cc485 by mandingo 9-10-11
holy shit, i'm tripping balls and he picks NOW to give me the father-son drug talk! ...and i know there will be temptation. there always is...	look at him, he's hideous! and this room! and look at ME!! DEAR CHRIST, IT'S TAKING EVERYTHING I HAVE NOT TO CLAW MY FACE OFF!!! ...but looking back, you'll be glad you listened to your old pop...	ah, good. it's wearing off. ...and proud you shunned drugs and stuck to the time-honored Klaxnaxian vices of forced prostitution and child murder. good talk!

220. The Adventures of Tommy the Renegade Mormon

by RCCOLAMAN on June 27, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

The Adventures of Tommy the Renegade Mormon

I'm sorry sir, but we don't carry off-white short sleeve shirts. Ah shoot.

by RCCOLAMAN, 6-27-11

221. Wilde party

by NickNumber on May 17, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Wilde party

Have you heard the joke about Dorian Gray? Yeah man, that one never gets old.

by NickNumber, 5-17-11

222. 6 Degrees

by four_legged_tripod on May 10, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

6 Degrees by four_legged_tripod 5-10-11
Weird Al made the parody "I Want a New Duck" from the song "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis. Weird Al made fun of a song by that crazy chick in "Natural Born Killers?"	No. He did not make fun of a song by Juliette Lewis. Thank god! That chick is psycho. I mean when she took that potion to make it seem she was dead, just to be with her forbidden lover. That's some messed up shit.	That wasn't Juliette Lewis. That was Juliet from Romeo and Juliet. That makes sense. I think I'd fake my death too if I had to be in love with a little black kid who sang poorly written raps about basketball.

223. 6 Degrees

by four_legged_tripod on May 10, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

6 Degrees by four_legged_tripod 5-10-11
Guinevere was not married to Lance Armstrong. She was with Sir Lancelot. She must have had a big butt, cuz you know how much he liked big butts.	That's Sir Mix-A-Lot, moron. Do you think he wrote "Baby Got Back" when that apple fell on his head?	That apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton's head! It did? I wonder if a white guy threw the apple and that's why he started the Black Panthers.

224. In a relationship with the modern world and it's complicated

by lukket on December 31, 2010
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

In a relationship with the modern world and it's complicated by lukket 12-31-10
How is your girlfriend? She dumped me. She didn't like that I poked her all the time.	And she wasn't happy with what I wrote on her wall on her birthday.	I didn't know she was on Facebook? Facebook?

225. Burger King

by mandingo on November 10, 2010
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Burger King by mandingo 11-10-10
small order of fries	holy shit, it's the Burger King! no, no, i'm just a homeless person dressed in the ragtag garb i find in dumpsters. and the crown is just to focus my thoughts into a beam to destroy alien invaders	still want those fries though

226. Dressed to Kill

by AngryAmerican on November 3, 2011
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Dressed to Kill by AngryAmerican 11-03-11
How ya doin kid? Did ya bring everything I asked? They say that talking to inanimate objects is a sign of insanity, you know.	That's all just psychobabble bullshit, kid. I talked to you first, remember? You were only being polite. But Staniskowski clearly states in his 'Principles of....	Hey whoa kid! I'm just a sweater here, not a philosopher. You bring the gun or what? *sigh* Yeah, I brought it.

227. The lukket standup show - And they suck

by lukket on May 5, 2010
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

The lukket standup show - And they suck by lukket 5-05-10
I don't really understand what vacuum cleaners are for.	According to wikipedia a "vacuum is a volume of space that is essentially empty of matter"	What is there to clean?

228. ill suited

by Zaster on January 3, 2010
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

ill suited by Zaster 1-03-10
I'm sorry, but it's not appropriate to wear that costume in an office environment, Stan. But this is no costume!	It's a flying mollusk that murdered my host body and is slowly feeding off its life fluid.	Thank God! I thought maybe you were a furry or something.

229. Mr. Ed's Fist-o-Rama

by ArtemisStrong on March 27, 2009
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Mr. Ed's Fist-o-Rama

Sorry I have to cut things short... er, I mean, I just have a small thing I need to- oh my... That is, a little commitment I have... oh jeez... You see, I have to take care of a tiny probl- SHIT! Dude. I'm black, not a midget.

by ArtemisStrong, 3-27-09

230. Pharmaco-logic

by Hatrix on January 25, 2009
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Pharmaco-logic by Hatrix 1-25-09
So how are the anti-anxiety meds working? Great.	Yeah? Oh yeah. Now that I don't have panic attacks...	... I can focus on my crippling depression full time.

231. Crossword puzzling when I heard you on the radio

by mandingo on December 15, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Crossword puzzling when I heard you on the radio by mandingo 12-15-08
2 Across. "Nailed" Jesus	no, not, "To a cross, nailed." i'm telling you the clue for 2 Across is "Nailed" oh right, right. sorry	4 Down. "Syndrome" you. heartless. bastard.

232. In Movies, They never use the word "Zombies"

by Tterb on August 3, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

In Movies, They never use the word "Zombies" by Tterb 8-03-08
I nailed all the doors and windows shut. We should be safe from them for now. What are we going to do?! If they get in here we are dead!	Well I have already been bit and figured I'll eat you alive slowly when I change into one of them...	Wanna play Monopoly until then?

233. I Lived in a House, a House, a House

by LuckyGuess on July 19, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

I Lived in a House, a House, a House by LuckyGuess 7-19-08
I hate being unemployed. All I do is sit around playing Oblivion all day, then I drop huge wads of cash for bills and rent. I can't survive like this. I just downloaded the Shivering Isles expansion pack for you.

234. CC 389 - Still Birth

by Shaneo39 on May 20, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

CC 389 - Still Birth by Shaneo39 5-20-08
Hey Thad, you know what today is? Sure do Chad, its My Birthday!!!	Which means, as triplets, its MY BIRTHDAY TOO!!! Hurray, we should go see Brad, its HIS BRITHDAY TOO!!!!

235. Look Out

by Scyess on January 2, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Look Out by Scyess 1-02-08
Shesh! Black people! They sure are hard to see at night! Watch it, Jim. I don't want to listen to any racist talk.	So touchy! It's not racist. Black people have darker skin, so it's harder to see them in low light. It's a physical fact. Well... that's okay, I guess. This time.	Jim's really pushing my buttons these days. Oh. Is that his car in the driveway with all the black people smashed into the radiator?