Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

151. But I Bought the Bumper Sticker

by four_legged_tripod on December 23, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

But I Bought the Bumper Sticker by four_legged_tripod 12-23-09
We're going down! I can't believe I'm gonna die!	That was amazing! Does this make me an official member of the mile high club? You know it! Hey.... what's going on here?	Ah dammit! I forgot, I was that guy's copilot.

152. Hair Club for Men

by four_legged_tripod on November 24, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Hair Club for Men by four_legged_tripod 11-24-09
Sorry kid, but to join this club you have to have facial hair; a moustache, a beard. Great! Then I can join!	What are you talking about? I have a beard.	I don't see a beard. That's cuz I left her at home.

153. Parks and Recreation

by four_legged_tripod on November 18, 2009
Rating: 8.89 (9 votes)

Parks and Recreation by four_legged_tripod 11-18-09
Hey, who installed the stripper pole behind the bench? I did. It's kinda fun to see who uses it plus it has a special feature.	What?	It glows in the dark.

154. FTC 145- Nobody's Home

by four_legged_tripod on July 9, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

FTC 145- Nobody's Home by four_legged_tripod 7-09-09
If it doesn't ring soon, I'm going to lose my mind.	Hmm....	I suppose that I may have already lost my mind since I'm waiting for my dick to ring.

155. McPeople's

by four_legged_tripod on July 6, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

McPeople's by four_legged_tripod 7-06-09
So, that's one Asian wrap, a Polish sausage, and a Caribbean jerk salad. Will that be all? Yeah. Hey, the people products you use in your food, were any of the females menstruating during slaughter?	No sir. All of our people products are clean. We check each female for possible traces of PMS.	Good. I'm highly concerned about mad cow disease.

156. This is in a bookstore.

by Rabid_Weasle on April 25, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

This is in a bookstore. by Rabid_Weasle 4-25-09
Hey, where would I find books by James Jo- Cooking books aisle 5.	No, I don't want- AISLE 5!

157. Fulsome

by AccentuateNegative on April 21, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Fulsome by AccentuateNegative 4-21-09
After all these years of watching Kevin Smith movies, I finally got to see Jason Mewes naked. He had a nice dong too. Yeah, but you know he chubbed up before the scene.	You think he chubbed up? What would you do before appearing in a full frontal nude scene?	I'd chub up. You'd chub up.

158. A Father Speaks With His Son

by muffindance on April 18, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

A Father Speaks With His Son by muffindance 4-18-09
SON, NOW THAT YOU'RE BEGINNING TO REACH PUBERTY, WE NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK	LESSON NUMBER ONE: WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH... I ALREADY KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM, DAD	LESSON NUMBER TWO: ALWAYS BURN PROSTITUTES AFTER RAPING THEM

159. Ab-so-lutely (Tim's dad)

by mandingo on April 14, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Ab-so-lutely (Tim's dad) by mandingo 4-14-09
look at those homeless children sleeping under the bridge. christ, the world is an ugly place. i wish i had the power to make it prettier	what the hell?? hello, Dan! i am Smyla, a magical jinni! 3000 years have i waited to hear those words! i grant to thee a single wish! use it wisely!	in other news, around the globe today people watched transfixed as millions of homeless children were magically hovered away from their lowly living conditions and flung into the sun

160. Music to My Rear

by AccentuateNegative on March 2, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Music to My Rear by AccentuateNegative 3-02-09
It started out consentual...I just wanted to have a good time. Don't blame yourself. You're the victim here.	The next thing I knew, I was bent over with two fists forced up my ass and I had to hand over $10 to get them out. Ten bucks, you say?	It was called...a convenience charge. TICKETMASTER!

161. Amana plan, a canal, Panama

by mandingo on August 28, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Amana plan, a canal, Panama by mandingo 8-28-08
hey, Joe, how's it going? not good. my appliances keep evolving sentience. some of them "wake up" pretty pissed too. the toaster stuck my dick in the outlet then jammed a loaf of rye up my ass	the blender stabbed the dog. the food processor set fire to my den. and the coffee pot is running a meth lab. i was actually relieved when all the microwave did was steal some money from me	but then he used it to buy the toaster more rye

162. I am in awe of the Tech Guy's knowledge

by kramer_vs_kramer on August 1, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

I am in awe of the Tech Guy's knowledge by kramer_vs_kramer 8-01-08
Hi. You sold me this telling me it would give me high speed wireless, but it turned out to be a loaf of bread. Ah, but that's no ordinary bread.	No? It's special 2Ghz bread with 512Mb bus. It'll help you surf the interweb faster, download free movies and play all the latest games.	I see. And why did you sell me a dead hooker and tell me she was an inkjet printer? I hanged her with a USB cable and now I can't get the knot out.

163. No One Likes Dave #9

by fraod on July 23, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

No One Likes Dave #9 by fraod 7-23-08
I wonder how nutritious paperclips are.	Oh, thank you! The door got stuck, I've been here for hours! Didn't anyone hear me yelling?	Oops, the door locked behind you! ...Okay, well... I'll wait here while you go get help!

164. Preferences

by Scyess on June 22, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Preferences by Scyess 6-22-08
Hi there. I'm Jon. Before we continue this pick-up, Jon, I should let you know that I'm biceptual.	That's okay. I'm confident enough to date a girl who also likes girls. No, not bisexual. I like men with actual muscle tone. Unlike, for example, yourself.	So anyway. You were saying?

165. Twenty Years of Mom Jokes and Counting

by choadwarrior on January 27, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Twenty Years of Mom Jokes and Counting by choadwarrior 1-27-08
Your mom is like Denny's because she lets kids eat for free on Tuesdays. Your mom is like Denny's because it doesn't cost much for a Grand Slam.	Your mom is like Denny's because she's full of drunks and stoners after two a.m. Your mom is like Denny's because she's always open.	Your mom is like Denny's because she gives slow, sloppy service. My mom is a saint.

166. CC 378: Seconds

by HydeGuy on January 26, 2008
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

CC 378: Seconds by HydeGuy 1-26-08
3:23:42 p.m. I refuse to believe your machine can create a 10 second time loop. I´ll just push that button and expose your fraud! Don´t!	3:23:32 p.m. I refuse to believe your machine can create a 10 second time loop. I´ll just push that button and expose your fraud! Don´t!	3:23:22 p.m. I refuse to believe your machine can create a 10 second time loop. I´ll just push that button and expose your fraud! Don´t!

167. Sneak A Peek

by boloboffin on December 5, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Sneak A Peek by boloboffin 12-05-07

168. Anger Management Inc.

by Hatrix on September 16, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Anger Management Inc. by Hatrix 9-16-07
Morning Bitch fairy. Morning Dave.	Morning Bitch fairy. Hey Sandy.	Morning Bitch fairy. FUCK you Melvin you creepy ass son of a whore! I avoid your desk for a REASON asshole!

169. A meeting with my publisher

by ladyjdotnet on July 3, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

A meeting with my publisher by ladyjdotnet 7-03-07
The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection for the Living Dead	Didn't Max Brooks already write this? No, that was complete protection from the Living Dead, this book is for the Living Dead.	It's just 48 pages of the word "RAAAGGHHH" over and over. So, you think I should flesh it out a bit more?

170. Saskatchewan Has a Rising Population

by Intoxicatious on June 29, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Saskatchewan Has a Rising Population by Intoxicatious 6-29-07
I'm happy to report that Saskatchewan's population has finally risen from 1 to 2.	Welcome to Saskatchewan. I think I took a wrong turn.	Correction. It's still just me. Lonely old me.

171. Translation Part - 2

by up4abeer on May 7, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Translation Part - 2 by up4abeer 5-07-07
He guessed your password to be GoTitans. He used it to take out a loan in the name of Richard Nixon.	You should also be concerned with unrestricted and unmonitored communication channels to external digital resources resulting in a reduction of internal assets.	A couple of your employees are using your PCs to sell office supplies on ebay.

172. Goals

by ladyjdotnet on April 16, 2007
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Goals by ladyjdotnet 4-16-07
What's up? Well, I weighed myself today and discovered I'm 296 pounds. Think I should go for an even 300?	That's not exactly a healthy goal, but hey... why not? It's not like you've ever finished anything else in your life. That's not true!	...I finished that pie.

173. Whacks On, Whacks Off

by choadwarrior on November 5, 2006
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Whacks On, Whacks Off by choadwarrior 11-05-06
What's up? I've spent the day cleaning house.	Ugh. I could totally kick Ralph Macchio's ass right now.	Because you've been perfecting your scrub-the-floor technique? No, I could totally kick Ralph Macchio's ass.

174. sam i am 2

by mandingo on July 18, 2006
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

sam i am 2 by mandingo 7-18-06
I lov’d Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers could not, with all their quantity of love, make up my sum. O, he is mad, Laertes!	look, i'll make you a deal - eat that sucky Hamlet and you don't even have to finish your greenbeans	sucky Hamlet?! madam, i'll have you know i once UNDERSTUDIED Hamlet during summer stock at GREYHOUND COMMUNITY THEATER! and he'd have gone on too if the lead hadn't found that free clinic at the last minute!

175. Surreptitious

by choadwarrior on June 20, 2006
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Surreptitious by choadwarrior 6-20-06
Did you figure out why my computer is running so slow? Yeah, an application had installed nine different programs--all of which were running in the background.	That sounds dangerous. It is, and your virus scanner and spyware blocker won't protect you from it.	What's it called? AOL.

176. Octopus's Garden

by BobCheeseburger on June 15, 2006
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Octopus's Garden

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Do you ever feel that life's a bit repetetive?

by BobCheeseburger, 6-15-06

177. After They Were Famous - Lionel Richie

by Kevin_Keegans_Perm on December 7, 2005
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

After They Were Famous - Lionel Richie by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 12-07-05
The suspect is 5'8, black, with a short afro haircut. May be armed and dangerous.	Hello! Is it me youre looking for?	No.

178. The God Couple - Episode 1

by fuzzyman on April 15, 2005
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

The God Couple - Episode 1 by fuzzyman 4-15-05
On November 13, Jesus was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. I've had enough of you! Get out, now! I'll be back!	With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Buddha. Several years earlier, Buddha's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can I move in? Sure, if you do the cooking.	Can two religious figures share an apartment without driving each other crazy? What's for dinner? My body and blood. Here, have a thigh.

179. Squatty Potty

by four_legged_tripod on July 17, 2017
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Squatty Potty by four_legged_tripod 7-17-17
Brenda in accounting said she keeps finding footprints on the toilet seats in the ladies bathroom. It's that new Asian intern. They all just squat over a hole to go the bathroom over there. They don't know what the hell to do with a toilet.	You know, I think I remember seeing a documentary about that.	Or maybe it was just porn.

180. Untitled

by batFucker on June 20, 2004
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Untitled by batFucker 6-20-04
i wonder what the fuck that guy is looking at. jesus christ, he looks like he's fucking entranced by something, but what the fuck is there to look at?	oh, i see! look at that fucking ass! damn... that's fucking nice! i'd love to just fucking rub my hands down those pants, and fucking smother my face in those fucking cheeks.	wait, fuck, he can't see his own ass...

181. Real Life: Rhyme Time

by four_legged_tripod on June 23, 2009
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Real Life: Rhyme Time by four_legged_tripod 6-23-09
The word is "shoe." Shoe. Blue. Read me another word.	You are such a good rhymer. We need to tell your daddy. One more word. This toy reads, "Made in China."	Daddy! Daddy! China Vagina! China Vagina! Aw crap! She's found my Asian porn collection!

182. Homeless Terrorists Part 15

by Drefsab on January 5, 2003
Rating: 8.75 (8 votes)

Homeless Terrorists Part 15 by Drefsab 1-05-03
Bush is replacing Medicare with a Missile Defense System	Makes sense to me	When America is covered in a radioactive cloud, no one will need medicare anyway I don't know, I could use some prescription drugs