Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

2601. Random Game Night

by ivytheplant on August 13, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Random Game Night by ivytheplant 8-13-07
"Neil, you start repeatedly pounding yourself in the head."	"Bart, you get vaporized by an orc with a flamethrower." I'm sorry we called you a "rutting, scrotum-faced, nut-licking chimpfucker."	"You wander into the Village of Porcupine Sodomy where you meet Glory, the chief anal tickler." Chimpfucker.

2602. Snow Job

by Boring on August 1, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Snow Job by Boring 8-01-07
They say you can tell the size of a man´s penis by the size of his nose.	It´s true. Amazing!	Put that back!

2603. Subtlety receptors offline

by ladyjdotnet on July 31, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Subtlety receptors offline by ladyjdotnet 7-31-07
You done with that pregnancy test? Yeah... well, let me put it this way - the *good* news is I won't be having my period for a while.		...so what's the bad news? *sigh* The bad news is that our child's chance of being a genius is very, very low.

2604. Why I believe in Murphy's Law

by TheGovernor on July 29, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Why I believe in Murphy's Law by TheGovernor 7-29-07
There, Ive finally cleared enough space on my external hard drive. I can go home and backup my files and music on my home computer before re-installing everything	Hi Computer I'm here to backup my f.... *Initiate immediate unrecoverable corruption of Data Drive*	Damn you! *Initiate maniacal laugh*

2605. man's best friend

by mandingo on July 5, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

man's best friend by mandingo 7-05-07
i carved a little hole in his back. gave him a little pumpkin anus.	then i slathered my cock in peanut butter	let's see where the night takes us

2606. Your Life Is Over!

by Scyess on June 22, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Your Life Is Over! by Scyess 6-22-07
I need your help, Samantha. Do you have any cure for a hopeless romantic? I have two. Here you go.	Um, it's a wedding ring and a condom...? Yes. What's so hard about that?	I don't understand the condom part. It leaks.

2607. op35: dj's usually lose some of their hearing...

by mandingo on April 29, 2007
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

op35: dj's usually lose some of their hearing...

puffy just had kittens! do you want one? sure, i'm starving

by mandingo, 4-29-07

2608. No, Really

by Scyess on December 20, 2006
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

No, Really by Scyess 12-20-06
My love for you could fill every ocean in all the world. You're so full of shit.	This just in. A substance known only as "Jon's love" has seeped into seas worldwide, contaminating local water supplies and killing millions.	I hope you're satisfied now, unbeliever. You can be such a dick sometimes.

2609. Might be time to call it a night

by Skin on July 24, 2006
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Might be time to call it a night by Skin 7-24-06
101010101010100101...	...0101010101100101- Oh, is this the one where it turns out the guy's actually eating a fetus?

2610. Options

by DragonXero on June 10, 2006
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Options

So, those are your options.

by DragonXero, 6-10-06

2611. Tard Boy and Finkelman

by squidrabies on January 3, 2006
Rating: 7.14 (14 votes)

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 1-03-06
So I got down on one knee, showed her the ring and she said yes. Awesome.	And that's when I killed her.	Cold feet?

2612. what if ass meant voice

by mandingo on December 7, 2005
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

what if ass meant voice by mandingo 12-07-05
hi, Mr. Williamson. i'm Tommy's Choir teacher. i asked you in today to tell you i really think your son has a beautiful ass. really? i always thought my son's ass was a little flat.	oh no his ass is perfect. in fact i'd like permission to keep Tommy after class so i can give his ass my full attention. i'll work his ass so hard, he'll be hitting high notes he didn't think possible well i'll be. he must get that from his mother. she's got the prettiest ass to be found, as you might know since she goes around every christmas sharing it with the town. but Tommy's ass? really?	oh yes. it's quite exquisite. we should both try to tap into his natural talent. both give his ass the time and effort it deserves. after all, the more we put into his ass, the more we will pull out i agree completely. i'll tap that ass as soon as i get home tonight

2613. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on November 6, 2005
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 11-06-05
You don't see anything wrong with this? Nope.	We're suppose to be HEROES, remember? The whole "law and order", "defenders of justice" type of thing. I think you'll find I am a force of good and not evil. I may not like my enemies, but I respect them.	So why did you pee on the ashes of "Gumbol the Mighty" after you vaporized him?! Um....Because he was a dick?

2614. Ranger's World presents: "It's A Monk's Life!"

by Ranger77 on October 16, 2005
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "It's A Monk's Life!" by Ranger77 10-16-05
And now, a few words with Brother Monk #2 and his cat. We've been asked to talk about the FCC's "War on Obscenity" in the media and the assault on free speech. Unfortunately we've also been asked to do an opinion piece on the Iraq war at the same time.	Evidently the FCC has problems with the words "bitch", "ass" and the perennial favorite "fuck." And it seems that this war is taking an enormous toll on our country.	So in essence, we better hurry up and defeat those insurgent sons of BITCHES so we can get our ASS out of Iraq. Or we're FUCKED.

2615. The Jungle

by BigFrank105 on March 27, 2005
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

The Jungle by BigFrank105 3-27-05
o/ WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE! WE GOT FUN AND GAMES! o/	What kind of fun and games?	Scrabble... Monopoly... Jenga...

2616. Switcheroo

by AccentuateNegative on November 4, 2003
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Switcheroo by AccentuateNegative 11-04-03
My car is broken down, can you help me? I don't know much about cars.	Do you know anything about trannies? Not really.	Perfect, get in my back seat. Why does she have such a big Adam's apple?

2617. Marmadookie

by seanator on September 10, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (14 votes)

Marmadookie by seanator 9-10-09
One fine day... My kids want a dog, but I really don't know if they are responsible enough. Pfft! Anybody can handle a dog, all it takes is a bag of kibble! And what do you get in return? Man's best friend!	Yeah... I guess you are right. You won't regret it when you come home everyday to a big warm hello!	2 weeks later... That came out of an ass?

2618. Victims of 9/11 part 20

by Creature_From_Beyond on October 3, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Victims of 9/11 part 20 by Creature_From_Beyond 10-03-10
September 11, 3001 00100101101 a.m. Everyone knows Bill Gates died for our bugs. His return was foretold in the Windows 32 tech manual. It's all right there on page 932. Upgrade now. I don't give a damn about your religion, just stop manipulating our software and hacking our networks!	Noob, our software was handed down from the great Microsoft overlords. Your sad devotion to open source has not helped you conjure up enough users to fill a private room at a Denny's. How dare you! Linus Torvalds was a great man who created a flexible and open environment free to all.	ROFLCOPPTER!!!! Son-of-a-bitch. We'll see who's laughing after I crash your twin server towers!

2619. My Cat Looks Either Sad Or Bored

by UncleTerwilliger on August 18, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

My Cat Looks Either Sad Or Bored by UncleTerwilliger 8-18-10
Alright Lord, I've killed my family and smote their ruin upon the mountain. How will you reward me?		God?

2620. Why the Crusades were retarded, redux

by RetardedHistory on August 3, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Why the Crusades were retarded, redux by RetardedHistory 8-03-10
Sir Roland has been killed in Judea Ah, St Peter! I think you'll find my name on the list. Ah, good lad! So, you've turned the other cheek, let him without sin cast the first stone, done unto others as they should do onto you, all that stuff?	Well...not exactly. But I DID strike down the enemies of Christ with my holy blade, persecute and eliminate the infidels in the Holy Land and recapture Jerusalem for our Father in a river of blood. Uh...I see.	The bastards always get you on the fine print. It's unfair, is what it is.

2621. Tea for Tourette

by kaufman on April 13, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Tea for Tourette by kaufman 4-13-10
	Impressive, isn't it? To think of all the great men who've lived there. SPANK THE PFFFTPFFFT NIGGGAGGER POOOOOPPPIE TUSHY!	Hey, I read a comic about people like you. You're one of those guys with Tourist's Syndrome, aren't you? Huh? What? Oh no, I just can't stand Obama.

2622. Don't Click That Button!

by four_legged_tripod on February 8, 2010
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Don't Click That Button! by four_legged_tripod 2-08-10
Would you quit staring at me? I'm trying to fondle one of the authors of the "recent comics by donors."	Hey! Where'd ya go? There's no reason for me to be here anymore. Some asshole just clicked the "read this comic" button. Now the list of authors disappeared before I had a chance to fondle anyone.	...I'm still here...

2623. Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa (h)

by four_legged_tripod on December 9, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa (h) by four_legged_tripod 12-09-09
When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,	But the Kwanzaa King	with a 40 ounce beer. I'm back mother fuckers!

2624. The Education of Jesus

by kaufman on July 1, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

The Education of Jesus by kaufman 7-01-09
		Very well done. I'm giving you an A.

2625. RIP David Arneson: 1947-2009

by HCRoyall on April 10, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

RIP David Arneson: 1947-2009 by HCRoyall 4-10-09
So David Arneson, the co-creator of D&D and the one of that duo that came up with the single character concept, has passed from this world.	It is because of him that we have such a thing as Role-Playing Games, in all their forms from tabletop to PC to console. Godspeed, Mr. Arneson.	Three words, Dave: World of Warcraft. Fuck you, Gygax.

2626. Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 1/23/09

by boloboffin on February 10, 2009
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 1/23/09 by boloboffin 2-10-09
Who wants to admire my report card?		Who wants to tell me where my bastard family moved this time?

2627. cc409: Little cannibal in the big city

by mandingo on December 5, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

cc409: Little cannibal in the big city by mandingo 12-05-08
do i have any Korean food stuck in my teeth? barely noticeable

2628. Edutainment

by choadwarrior on November 13, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Edutainment by choadwarrior 11-13-08
Hey, Dr. Science, why does Saturn have rings?	Well, most scientists believe the rings of Saturn are primarily made from chunks of ice.	Are you sure it's not because dirty, filthy, greazy, Italians took a bath there? Dude, you gotta let me finish.

2629. Whole Mulatto Love

by AccentuateNegative on July 8, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Whole Mulatto Love by AccentuateNegative 7-08-08
Weren't you doing that guy over there for a while? Yeah.	He looks kinda black. His dad was half.	What do you call a gay, mixed-race guy? Barack Obottom.

2630. Navigator

by choadwarrior on April 14, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Navigator by choadwarrior 4-14-08
I be thinkin' of buyin' a carrrr.	Cutlass?	Yaris.

2631. Tightvagina Jones.

by UnknownEric on March 3, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Tightvagina Jones. by UnknownEric 3-03-08
You can't stop me, James Bond. What's your name, woman?	Tightvagina Jones.	*sigh* We... we're not even TRYING anymore, are we?

2632. CC:382 - Days of our Alien Lives (3)

by El_Phen on February 28, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

CC:382 - Days of our Alien Lives (3) by El_Phen 2-28-08
Oh Xanox! How can this be!? I never knew my father. My mother told me that he ran away to join the circus and was killed in a freak Jelliphant accident! No my dear, I was not killed. I was mortally wounded and my consciousness transferred into the body of the nearest host. That of a Pavlovian Ball Hound of the circus at the back of our house.	How did you become supreme ruler of Pavlovia? Why did you declare inter-planetary war on your own planet? How did you get to Interplanetary United Nations HQ? When did you learn I was your daughter? All in good time my dear. First you need to perform an important task. You must kill your mother!	Duh-duh-duhhhhhh

2633. Me Too!

by Shaneo39 on February 25, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

Me Too! by Shaneo39 2-25-08
I had the craziest weekend, bro. We snuck into mexico for a weekend of debauchery. I woke up with a condom in my ass, and I think I'm missing a kidney. I had a crazy weekend too. I went to Mexico too, got drunk, and woke up with a soar cock and a kidney in my pocket.		Touche.