Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

451. History of the space race: the middle ages (3)

by mmyers on September 26, 2006
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

History of the space race: the middle ages (3) by mmyers 9-26-06
*THOOP!* Maybe if we waited until the moon was full so the monkeys would have a bigger target. Brilliant!	*THOOP!* Maybe if we used a bigger catapult? Brilliant!	*THOOP!* Maybe if we duct taped two monkeys together and-- Just shut the fuck up and let me think, OK?

452. Attack of the Server Penguin 4

by HCRoyall on August 23, 2006
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Attack of the Server Penguin 4 by HCRoyall 8-23-06
All right. Here's fifty bucks. Excellent.	So when will everything be back the way it was? By the next panel.	I hate you. So much.

453. Meanwhile, in the past...

by Skin on August 11, 2006
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Meanwhile, in the past... by Skin 8-11-06
We seem to have arrived sometime in the early 21st century. Sir, I'm reading extremely low levels of thick bitches on our lumps.	Unacceptable. Fuck the whole place down as soon as I finish this sentence. Bumpity POW!	Oh man, being from the future is so awesome I can't even TAKE it. When to next?

454. Tard Boy and Finkelman

by squidrabies on March 31, 2006
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 3-31-06
We must never reveal our forbidden love. Why not?	They wouldn't understand. You're probably right.	Assfucking rules. I thought our forbidden love was Pokemon.

455. W.W. President

by four_legged_tripod on September 29, 2016
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

W.W. President by four_legged_tripod 9-29-16
Why the fuck does it always happen that the lights go out when I'm in the shitter?	Now where's the toilet paper? There it is! Uh, Mr. President? I think you just wiped your ass with the Constitution.	I did? I don't remember making another policy speech.

456. How Did He Get That Letter?

by umfumdisi on November 16, 2007
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

How Did He Get That Letter? by umfumdisi 11-16-07
Bernard, I hope life on the Moon is treating you well. We all miss you and admire your bravery. Love, Ann	PS - Even here at the Mauna Kea Observatory in Hawaii using a super-powerful telescope, I could not see your penis.

457. Hell is other people

by ladyjdotnet on June 30, 2005
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Hell is other people by ladyjdotnet 6-30-05
You know what kind of people I hate the most?	You know... whaddayacallem... Oh yeah!	Others.

458. Kattgrrl #1

by mattiekitty on April 5, 2005
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Kattgrrl #1 by mattiekitty 4-05-05
So I puked on her bed this morning. You sure that was a good idea?	Well... she said she was sick and tired of cleaning up puke off the carpets every day.	I figured she'd enjoy the change. I'm outta here..

459. That Would Be Telling

by choadwarrior on March 30, 2005
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

That Would Be Telling by choadwarrior 3-30-05
How are you adjusting to civilian life? I'M DOING REALLY WELL, BUT SOME THINGS ARE JUST DIFFERENT.	Like what? I NEVER HAD TO WORK WITH HOMOSEXUALS BEFORE.	Really? I thought you were in the Marines. I WAS. WAIT A MINUTE...WHAT?

460. Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille"

by Ranger77 on April 29, 2004
Rating: 8.18 (11 votes)

Ranger's World presents: "HeroVille" by Ranger77 4-29-04
I hope you're finding everything you need, uh, M.O.U.S.E. You need lower urinals.	Yes, well I'll look into that. Incidently, why are you called The Incredible M.O.U.S.E instead of just "mouse." It was my experimental designation. It stands for Marsupial Overmind Utilizing Skills and Enhancements.	Ok...but wouldn't people already gather that you.... I like the periods okay! Geez. I suppose you think that calling yourself "Captain Justice" is pretty clever, huh? Nice underoos, by the way.

461. More of Dubya's Stand-Up Comedy

by Externalization on April 4, 2004
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

More of Dubya's Stand-Up Comedy by Externalization 4-04-04
Did you hear the one about the unjustified war that killed 500 American troops and cost over 10,000 civilian lives under false pretenses?	Looks like y'all misunderestimated my misarticalations about that'n, eh?	Oh, you people just have no sense of humor at all!

462. Worst thing to say after sex

by ObiJo on February 12, 2004
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Worst thing to say after sex by ObiJo 2-12-04
Are you sure you didn't used to be a man?	How much do I owe you?	Like father, like son.

463. Kramer = F4G0T

by kramer_vs_kramer on June 9, 2002
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

Kramer = F4G0T by kramer_vs_kramer 6-09-02
On Friday 7th June 2002, I did possibly the most stupid thing ever. Do you want to have a threesome with me and my flatmate?	No.	Hold on...

464. Rite of passage

by andydougan on December 29, 2001
Rating: 8.48 (92 votes)

Rite of passage by andydougan 12-29-01
By the seventh sepulchre of obsidian... ...by the eldritch wastes of Tartarus...	...by the lachrymose shrieks of the never-born... ...by the chthonic depths of the lightless river, and the time-forgotten sentinels who speak not...	...and then it's third on your left. You can't miss it. Thanks.

465. how to make a comic

by FactoryRejects on October 11, 2009
Rating: 8.48 (23 votes)

how to make a comic by FactoryRejects 10-11-09
The first thing you'll see is us. We are a subliminal training program to help you be creative. When you see foreign children on a screen, you immediately want to change the image. Just like your TV at home! Go on, try it out!	Ah. I see you've changed the background. Very good. It would have been better to get rid of both asian girls. Remember that for next time. Now try a joke. I think I like multiplication more than division	Hey man I just walked in on your little sister math-debating It's that easy!

466. Narcolepsy

by lima on June 12, 2009
Rating: 8.48 (23 votes)

Narcolepsy by lima 6-12-09
I've been diagnosed with Narcolepsy	Meh	I won't lose any sleep over it

467. cc405: Potato guns don't kill people

by mandingo on October 29, 2008
Rating: 8.48 (23 votes)

cc405: Potato guns don't kill people by mandingo 10-29-08
GIVE ME YOUR POTATO KIDNEY OR GET SHOT IN THE BACK WITH MY RAY GUN! and if i turn to face you?	what? if i turn to face you, you can't shoot me in the back, thereby thwarting your entire plan. sure, you can still shoot me, BUT ON MY TERMS, MOTHERFUCKER! ON MY TERMS!	so i shot him on his terms delicious

468. On the Run

by scotchromanian on January 17, 2005
Rating: 8.47 (72 votes)

On the Run by scotchromanian 1-17-05
Dude, I just stole a bunch of shit from the mall, and now the cops are after me -- We gotta switch shirts! OK.	Dude, thanks! No problem.	Did you really think you'd get away with it?

469. New comic

by Humpenstein on September 24, 2006
Rating: 8.48 (82 votes)

New comic by Humpenstein 9-24-06
My mom called me fat yesterday.	Then she bought me an extremely oversized t-shirt to illustrate her point.	So I bought her an extremely oversized tampon to illustrate mine.

470. Circumvention

by Aylear on March 25, 2009
Rating: 8.46 (26 votes)

Circumvention by Aylear 3-25-09
So, how's the quest for understanding humans? Perpetually fascinating. For instance, do you know what anal beads are?		So, how's your ability to recognize when someone is desperately changing the topic? Still underdeveloped. Why?

471. Pet Improvement |

by Scyess on December 15, 2005
Rating: 8.46 (26 votes)

Pet Improvement | by Scyess 12-15-05
Hamsters are cute, but they're not cuddly. They're just too small.	If you're going to have a soft, furry pet, you really need more surface area.	I found out why all those hamsters were sewn together, but you probably don't want to know.

472. World's Worst Talk on Campfire Safety

by four_legged_tripod on November 4, 2015
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

World's Worst Talk on Campfire Safety by four_legged_tripod 11-04-15
Hey kids. It's me, Smokey Bear. How many of you know how to use tinder? Well, that sure is a lot of you.	When using tinder, if you see a very wet bush, stay away from it. They only lead to trouble. Now boys, how many of you like to get wood? That's great!	And remember, if you see a flamer, kick sand on it. Now, who wants to watch me pitch a tent?

473. Side Pie Effects

by four_legged_tripod on January 9, 2013
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Side Pie Effects by four_legged_tripod 1-09-13
And here is your new prescription. Let me guess. There's a huge list of sexual side effects including but not limited to: erections that last more than four hours which lead to hypersexuality	causing orgies with multiple coeds and a skanky hooker found off the interstate and after having sex with said hooker will remind you of the many times you were molested by that babysitter so you kill the hooker, chop her into pieces and leave her remains in a Denny's bathroom at three in the morning.	No. The side effects are just slight fatigue. Whatever. Just write what I said on the prescription pad making it legible enough for my wife to read it and post date it for last Thursday.

474. Alternate Jewniverse

by choadwarrior on January 24, 2012
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Alternate Jewniverse by choadwarrior 1-24-12
Wow, that guy makes a pretty good Original Series Klingon. Dude! I think it's Hitler!	That's not Hitler, he has a goatee. OH MY GOD!	IT'S EVIL HITLER!

475. Blood Moon

by LuckyGuess on September 15, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Blood Moon by LuckyGuess 9-15-11
You're telling me you're the only guy in a house full of hot chicks? Yes.	That is awesome. That is like a porno movie. Have you ever seen nine girls sync up their periods? Do you know what that's like?	Imagine a werewolf movie where the monster is some dude and everybody else is a werewolf.

476. Yes, I Said It

by AccentuateNegative on August 13, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Yes, I Said It by AccentuateNegative 8-13-11
We're out here today, inviting people to a really cool series of lectures my church has put together. You're from the Church of Latter Day Saints?	Yeah. Your people are against pre-marital sex?	Yes. Well, all the sex I have is premarital because of your church's support of Proposition 8, so fuck off.

477. The things you learn at a pub quiz...

by ladyjdotnet on May 13, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

The things you learn at a pub quiz... by ladyjdotnet 5-13-11
Question number 9: What sexual act is practiced by humans, porpoises, and fish? I know this! It's fellatio! Really? Fish suck dick? Weird.	Yeah, totally. What else is there to do but swim around all day and eat and poop and suck some dicks? I guess that's why they have that mouth pucker thing going on all the time.	Did you know that fish also sleep with their eyes open? With all the other fish swimming around waiting to have their dicks sucked, I would too!

478. Isn't "free-thinker" a categorization?

by ladyjdotnet on May 8, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Isn't "free-thinker" a categorization? by ladyjdotnet 5-08-11
How would you describe yourself? I hate boxes.	Hmm? I hate boxes, and labels, and categorizations.	Well, that's what I'd expect from your type.

479. A Tribute To All You Kids Doing SC.COM Homework Strips

by ZMannZilla on May 2, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

A Tribute To All You Kids Doing SC.COM Homework Strips by ZMannZilla 5-02-11
So what does it mean when a credit card has "interest"? RAAAAAR TOBOR WILL EXPLAIN THAT INTEREST IS THE PRIMARY WAY THAT CREDIT CARD ISSUERS GENERATE REVENUE!	OK, so I understand that card issuers need to make revenue, but how do they do this with interest? TOBOR ELABORATES BY EXPLAINING THAT INTEREST MAKES A BORROWED AMOUNT INCREASE BY A PERCENTAGE OVER TIME!	Oh, I see! So the longer people take to pay their credit card bills, the more money the card issuers get! What if people borrow more than they can ever hope to pay back? TOBOR WOULD LOVE TO BOTH TELL YOU AND SHOW YOU IF IT WERE NOT FOR THIS $@&#!*% OBSCENITY FILTER!!!

480. What a Prick

by four_legged_tripod on January 21, 2011
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

What a Prick by four_legged_tripod 1-21-11
So, I've led you here to tempt you and you've resisted all temptation. The only thing left to do is crucify you. Crucify me? Are you nuts? You didn't even bring a cross.	Turn around. Why?	______________________________________________________ Oh...

481. Can You Read My Mind?

by boloboffin on December 10, 2010
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Can You Read My Mind? by boloboffin 12-10-10
Not having a very good year here, folks.	My imaginary lover forgot my birthday.	Whoa, I thought that was next month. You have ONE JOB. ONE.