Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

501. the zombies are unified

by FactoryRejects on March 22, 2008
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

the zombies are unified by FactoryRejects 3-22-08
I can't believe zombies have me trapped in here with this black lady	...I guess I shouldn't think of her like that. I mean some of those zombies were black but I didn't think of them as "black zombies"...	...what does that say about me as a person

502. Planet Of The Apps

by Pudge on February 21, 2008
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Planet Of The Apps by Pudge 2-21-08
MISSION OBJECTIVE COMPLETE. ALL HUMAN LIFE ERRADICATED. AWAITING NEXT COMMAND. MISSION OBJECTIVE COMPLETE. ALL HUMAN LIFE ERRADICATED. AWAITING NEXT COMMAND.		3000 YEARS LATER

503. The honeymoon is over

by ladyjdotnet on January 26, 2008
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

The honeymoon is over by ladyjdotnet 1-26-08
I'm just saying that I don't think we should be having so little sex just because we've been married for five years. I think you may be operating under a misapprehension.	What, you think it's normal to have so little sex at this stage of the relationship? No.	What's the misapprehension, then? That we're still in a relationship.

504. You're a Book Store, Aintcha?

by christopher7murphy on December 21, 2007
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 12-21-07
I don't have the book you want in stock, but I can order it for you. Can you get it by Christmas Eve?	Sir, there is only ONE more delivery day before Christmas. Are you telling me that I can not get it in time for Christmas?	I'm sorry. It takes at least a week. Amateurs!

505. First day

by mandingo on October 4, 2007
Rating: 8.57 (14 votes)

First day by mandingo 10-04-07
there's 4 things you need to know to succeed here, Jeremy. 1. i'm your boss. 2. i'm gay. 3. there's no sex in the champagne room. 4. this isn't the champagne room.	shall we begin?	*gulp* good, you can swallow.

506. Family Man #7

by bike on September 6, 2007
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Family Man #7 by bike 9-06-07
Parent-Teacher Conference Day Hello, I'm Mistress Poisontears. I'm your daughter's new teacher... umm, hello	Your daughter is very talented. Last week during arts and crafts, we made paper maché mausoleums and hers was the best! well, I suppose that's nice...	So, how did it go? we need to start going to school board meetings

507. Why Jesus died on the cross

by G0dItself on August 27, 2007
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Why Jesus died on the cross by G0dItself 8-27-07
Why did Jesus have to die for our sins? His death , if you accept him as your savior, erases the original sin which was punishable by your mortality - thus allowing you to have everlasting life in heaven.	Couldn't you simply have forgiven the original sin and given us everlasting life without Jesus needing to die on the cross? ???	Yeah Dad!!! Why is that?

508. Fun With Government Workers

by up4abeer on August 1, 2006
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Fun With Government Workers by up4abeer 8-01-06
U.S. Office of Immigration Race? Car	We're not playing the word game. How does that make you feel?	WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FUCKING SKIN? African Canadian

509. Chronoctopus 17: Divider of the sorrow

by 0401040 on March 20, 2006
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Chronoctopus 17: Divider of the sorrow by 0401040 3-20-06
I feel so alone.	So I made myself a clone. So I made myself a clone.	I feel so alone.

510. Breakup Redux

by ObiJo on February 5, 2004
Rating: 8.46 (13 votes)

Breakup Redux by ObiJo 2-05-04
Dialogue Balloon, I think it's over between us.	Dialogue Balloon, I think it's over between us.

511. Conundrum

by gabe_billings on September 30, 2001
Rating: 8.45 (42 votes)

Conundrum by gabe_billings 9-30-01
You've got a bag of corn, a chicken and a dog to get across a river. You have one boat and can only take one thing at a time.	If left alone, the chicken will eat the corn and the dog will eat the chicken. How do you get them all across safely? Can I stick the chicken up my ass?	No. Then I'm fresh out of ideas.

512. Groovy! - A Space Oddity

by edoggydog on April 9, 2012
Rating: 8.24 (17 votes)

Groovy! - A Space Oddity by edoggydog 4-09-12
	BOO!! AAAAAAAAA!!!	My pratical-joking Uncle has invented a space portal which he uses to startle aliens on other planets with a hand puppet... Groovy!

513. Big Dog

by TheGovernor on August 6, 2010
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Big Dog

Im the brightest star in Canis Major! Wait, you can't be Sirius!

by TheGovernor, 8-06-10

514. Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout?

by four_legged_tripod on May 28, 2010
Rating: 8.53 (17 votes)

Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout? by four_legged_tripod 5-28-10
Doctor, Gary Coleman just died from a brain hemorrhage. Are you sure it wasn't an ischemic?	Yep. It was a brain hemorrhage. What about a hemorrhagic, thrombotic, embolic, or uh, uh, uh...	What's wrong doctor, can't think of the word? No, I just can't think of any other diff'rent strokes.

515. I am this close to taking the xbox away, young man

by FactoryRejects on September 3, 2009
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

I am this close to taking the xbox away, young man by FactoryRejects 9-03-09
Lord, how can I be a better Christian? Just trust in the holy word, and give yourself fully unto-	Don't you tell me to hold on. I pay for half of that bluetooth, kiddo. Yes and I pay for the other half and I am A GROWN MAN and I really wish-	Lord? -A GROWN MAN

516. Atheist in a Foxhole

by lima on August 14, 2009
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Atheist in a Foxhole by lima 8-14-09
Christians have a stupid saying that I don't understand: 'There's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole' It means that everybody - even atheists - turns to god when facing danger.	Bullshit. Foxes live in foxholes. You mean to tell me they have a religion? Foxes are protestant	What? Orange bastards

517. Michael Jackson Six Pack

by lima on June 25, 2009
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Michael Jackson Six Pack by lima 6-25-09
BAD news: Michael Jackson died today Medics suggested he suffered a heart-attack whilst dancing. They blame it on the boogie.	He just can't, he just can't, he just can't regulate his beat. So he was hit by *bum bum* he was struck by *bum* a car-diac arrest.	He was fifty years old. He is survived by his eight and twelve year old sons, ten year old daughter, and four year old nose. Wait, with all that plastic, shouldn't we recycle him?

518. The Unreported Scan

by biped on April 4, 2009
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

The Unreported Scan by biped 4-04-09
Captain, I've finished my preliminary scan of the planet and found it to be extremely rich in-- Let me guess, Spock. "Dogshit." You have found the planet to be extremely rich in dogshit.	This is most distressing. Every time I attempt to make a report to the captain lately, he finishes my sentences with the word "dogshit." Oh, I told him to do that. As ship's clown, I felt it would relieve much of the pent-up tension around here.	"Ship's clown", indeed. I must say without reservation that I am entirely-- Let me guess, Spock. "Dogshit." You are entirely dogshit.

519. Redemption

by seanator on February 18, 2009
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Redemption by seanator 2-18-09
One fine day... Man, I love my girl, but what a pain! All she does is nag! Sucks man...	Tell me about it, it's EXACTLY like dating my mom!	So the sex is great?

520. Exploring the Heavens

by choadwarrior on September 8, 2007
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Exploring the Heavens by choadwarrior 9-08-07
At last we meet. I'm your half-brother, Klingon Jesus. B-b-b-but, I'm God's only begotten Son!	The old man puts Jesuses on every planet He creates. Wasn't Star Trek created from Gene Roddenberry's imagination?	Who wrote the Bible again? I'm telling Black Santa on you.

521. Super Friends

by mandingo on August 22, 2007
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

Super Friends by mandingo 8-22-07
are you sure this is an evil headquarters, Ninja Tyrone? it looks like a regular house	are you sure this is their Weather Disrupter we're stealing? it looks like a plasma tv	okay, what's a Super Meteorologist doing working in a pawn shop?

522. My Christmas Featuring Gran Marie!

by attitudechicka on December 28, 2006
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

My Christmas Featuring Gran Marie! by attitudechicka 12-28-06
Gia, can I talk to your parents? Uh, Gran, they left a while ago for your house.	I know, but it's snowing and I have to talk to them. Gran, they left. They're not here.	No, I'm calling on the CELL PHONE. Let me talk to them.

523. The Gift

by Scyess on November 6, 2006
Rating: 8.44 (16 votes)

The Gift by Scyess 11-06-06
I'm going to volunteer for the Get Out the Vote campaign. Want to come? Oh, absolutely!	I think it's a great idea to encourage people too ignorant to form their own opinion to go out on election day and pull random levers that help determine my future.	How do you always manage to make doing nothing seem like a noble cause? It's a gift.

524. Blockin' Out The Scenery, Breakin' My Mind...

by UnknownEric on September 10, 2003
Rating: 8.43 (35 votes)

Blockin' Out The Scenery, Breakin' My Mind... by UnknownEric 9-10-03
Hey, look at that sign. Fick for mayor. Let's change the "i" to a "u"! No, no. Change the "F" to a "D".	I TO A U! F TO A D!	LATER... Does that sign say "Duck for mayor?" I didn't even know I was running.

525. cc556

by mandingo on June 3, 2012
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

cc556 by mandingo 6-03-12
Ben, i'm you 30 years from now! in the future you become a prodigious child rapist! no way!	way! well not anymore i don't! thanks for the warning, future me!	i'm not here to warn you.

526. When God Punishes Cartoons

by four_legged_tripod on November 16, 2009
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

When God Punishes Cartoons by four_legged_tripod 11-16-09
For acting too blonde	For dry humping the Sea World worker	For chronic masturbation

527. To catch a predator....squared.

by Ungreat on September 19, 2009
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

To catch a predator....squared. by Ungreat 9-19-09
.....Dateline NBC. This is 'To Catch a Predator', that was me posing as a young girl in the chatroom.	For what twisted reason did you think it was okay to meet a thirteen year old girl? Err.....I'm thirteen?	...enter stage left. I'm also TV's Chris Hansen, so you admit to posing as a young girl to lure this child here. WTF!?!

528. Water Cooler.

by Ungreat on February 26, 2009
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

Water Cooler. by Ungreat 2-26-09
You've got to be forceful if you want to get ahead here. Suppose your right.	Now get the hell in there and show Smith you're regional manager material. Eye of the fucking tiger.	Little while later.... He raped me.

529. You're a Book Store, Aintcha?

by christopher7murphy on December 29, 2007
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 12-29-07
Which book is better? "What your Doctor Won't Tell You About Menopause" or "Menopause and Me?" Mam...do I LOOK like I would have read either of those books?		"Menopause and Me." -sigh-

530. Tard Boy and Finkelman - The School Daze (A Tribute)

by DrMorton on October 26, 2007
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

Tard Boy and Finkelman - The School Daze (A Tribute) by DrMorton 10-26-07
A penny for your thoughts! I call and raise 5!	Fold. A wise decision, Sir!	So what were you thinking? I forgot.

531. An honest mistake

by ladyjdotnet on October 16, 2007
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

An honest mistake by ladyjdotnet 10-16-07
I'm home! I brought home a bucket of legs and thighs like you wanted. It's in the kitchen. Awesome! I haven't had KFC in ages!	KFC? Oh. What?

532. Marge Sleeps Around

by choadwarrior on September 15, 2007
Rating: 8.42 (19 votes)

Marge Sleeps Around by choadwarrior 9-15-07