Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1001. I Rebuke Thee

by choadwarrior on May 23, 2003
Rating: 8.17 (52 votes)

I Rebuke Thee by choadwarrior 5-23-03
Satan, I think I lead a good life. I'll do anything to get out of here.. Anything?	[Slurp. Slurp. Slurrrrrp.] Oh, this is great...	So do I get to go to Heaven now? Well, to be honest, that's God's call, not mine--and what you just did isn't going to help your case at all.

1002. God's Image

by squidrabies on January 9, 2008
Rating: 8.23 (31 votes)

God's Image by squidrabies 1-09-08
I'm working on an assload of cooler planets right now. Make it quick. Sorry, sir, but they seem to hate gay.	Hate gay? How do they hate gay? It pretty much means they can screw anyone they want. They think screwing anyone is bad. Especially gay screwing.	Wait, wait... I thought you got that guy to write it in that book. About how banging dudes or chicks is totally cool by me. Apparently it was lost in translation, sir.

1003. Domestic Battles

by ObiJo on June 9, 2001
Rating: 8.16 (79 votes)

Domestic Battles by ObiJo 6-09-01
I'm leaving you, Edward. You were away at war so long, I've fallen in love with another. I'd like to introduce you to him. My life couldn't get any worse.	I stand corrected.	It's the horse. And again.

1004. A Horrible Pun... A Tribute to BigFrank

by Injokester on May 8, 2005
Rating: 8.16 (49 votes)

A Horrible Pun... A Tribute to BigFrank by Injokester 5-08-05
Barkeep! Draw me a glass of your finest beer! Comin' right up!		And draw big tits on it. Already doing it.

1005. A Shocking Comic Trafficking in Stereotypes: DADT Repeal

by boloboffin on May 27, 2010
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

A Shocking Comic Trafficking in Stereotypes: DADT Repeal by boloboffin 5-27-10
Heaven preserve us! They're going to let gays serve openly in the armed forces! Well, if they want to serve their country...	They don't want to serve their country! They want to fellate unsuspecting soldiers while they sleep in their bunks! How awful!	Is this where I sign up to join the army?

1006. Fight For All the Wrong Reasons

by lima on April 28, 2010
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Fight For All the Wrong Reasons by lima 4-28-10
Bonjour! Et bienvenue au PFK! PFK? P. F. K.? That'd be, what, Poulet Fricosse de Kentucky, or some such, right?	Poulet Frit Kentucky, actualment, et pourriez vous parlez en francaise sil vous plait! Right... right. Because this is Quebec, and the French for 'KFC' is roughly 'PFK'. Madam, do you know what they call KFC in France?	Uh.. 'KFC'

1007. After Six Use Rear Entry

by AccentuateNegative on July 27, 2009
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

After Six Use Rear Entry by AccentuateNegative 7-27-09
When I told dad, all he said was, "Just tell me you don't take it up the ass."	What did you say?	I asked why he always has to compare me to you.

1008. Witcher

by Aylear on April 9, 2009
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Witcher by Aylear 4-09-09
I'm not scared of you! My friend Thorvald and I will beat the ugly out of you! Oh yeah, dipshit?		He can turn into a vacant chair at will.

1009. Meet the Dad

by biped on January 11, 2009
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Meet the Dad by biped 1-11-09
So... you're Debbie's boyfriend? Yep. Well...I fuck 'er more'n anybody else. Ha, ha.		Where's Kenny? Inside his own ass.

1010. Order Up

by choadwarrior on September 1, 2008
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Order Up by choadwarrior 9-01-08
Can I get your name? Certainly. It's Mister-I'm-the-only- fucking-customer- in-here.		Order for Asshole. Asshole? Hey, ASSHOLE!

1011. Inside Joke for Three-Year-Olds

by Scyess on June 22, 2008
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Inside Joke for Three-Year-Olds by Scyess 6-22-08
wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee	WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE	I hate taking your friend home. Yeah. That's why I stay here.

1012. Hayseed Horse 3

by biped on May 19, 2008
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Hayseed Horse 3 by biped 5-19-08
All I ever wanted to do was to make the little children hap-- Hey, aren't you Hayseed Horse?	WHY, I SHORE AM, LITTLE FELLER!!! HOO-EEE, THEM DAD-BLASTED CRITTERS IS A RUNNIN' ROUGHSHOD OVER MAH PETOONY PATCH, CONSARN-- Wait right here. I'm gonna go find somebody who cares.	Fourteen hours later... He must be gathering quite a crowd!

1013. It'sa Me!

by fraod on August 27, 2007
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

It'sa Me!

Mario slips up in bed Who's Yoshi?

by fraod, 8-27-07

1014. Runner on first

by mandingo on August 22, 2007
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Runner on first by mandingo 8-22-07
hey, you have any nudie pictures of your wife?	no, unfortunately, my wife was diagnosed with multiple myloma last year. she fought hard, but the chemotherapy changed her. she drowned both of our children in the bathtub before taking her own life	want some?

1015. I just saved a bundle on my health insurance

by boorite on August 15, 2007
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

I just saved a bundle on my health insurance by boorite 8-15-07
Give it to me straight, Doc. Look at it this way. What could be worse than living in this post-apocalyptic hell?	Ball cancer? Bingo!	Usually, I'm shit at guessing. No, that was very good.

1016. Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places

by Scyess on July 14, 2007
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places by Scyess 7-14-07
Searching... searching... searching... searching...	URETHRA!!!! I think you mean "eureka."	Obviously, you don't know what it is that I found. Ew.

1017. Sundays

by mmyers on January 17, 2007
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Sundays by mmyers 1-17-07
I think if someone stuck a gun to my head and said I had to have sex with a midget or a dwarf, I'd stick it in the midget.	You know, because at least everything would be proportionally cool. I think they prefer the term 'little person'.	Fine. If I had to stick my 'little person' in a midget or a dwarf, I'd stick it in the midget.

1018. Randomly Appearing Snowman

by The_young_scot on December 13, 2006
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Randomly Appearing Snowman by The_young_scot 12-13-06
Is it hot out here or did I just eat my testicles?	I'm sure you didn't! You probably just hallucinated it! Oh, thanks randomly appearing snowman!	Thats a relief

1019. Crazy Hippie

by theburninator on June 28, 2003
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Crazy Hippie by theburninator 6-28-03
Do you know anything about telepathy?		Darn. Stop staring at me.

1020. Death's Second Cousin

by Scyess on July 18, 2002
Rating: 8.16 (19 votes)

Death's Second Cousin by Scyess 7-18-02
**KNOCK KNOCK** Come in!	AAAHHH! NNNOOOO!!! It's the Angel of Death, coming to take me away! No, actually, I'm Death's second cousin, the Angel of Broken Knee Caps.	Ow. Maybe next time you'll find a way to pay back your loans more expediently, eh?

1021. Pricktiquette

by Scyess on January 11, 2008
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

Pricktiquette by Scyess 1-11-08
Isn't it amazing how much time and effort society puts into laying down rules about where you can put your own dick?	You CAN'T take it out in a restaraunt, but you CAN take it out in the restraunt's bathroom. But ONLY at a urinal. You CAN put it into your wife, but NOT your buddy's wife. What a load of shit, I say.	So did you find out why the neighbor's cat is walking funny? Some mysteries are better left unsolved.

1022. The Toga Bar - Soul Mates

by up4abeer on September 7, 2007
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

The Toga Bar - Soul Mates by up4abeer 9-07-07
		Knock it off you two. He didn't literally pour his soul into it

1023. Kiss the Dragon

by Boring on July 22, 2007
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

Kiss the Dragon by Boring 7-22-07
So, if I kiss you you will turn into a handsome prince? No, that´s cousin Frog Prince. In my case a blowjob will do the trick.	Is it worth it? We´ll see.	Slurp! It is worth it.

1024. Ziggy played guitar

by mandingo on July 12, 2007
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

Ziggy played guitar by mandingo 7-12-07
i know you took too much acid, Steve. i know that framed Gene Simmons photo you're so desperately clutching to your bosom represents your psyche's attempt to hold onto your sanity	but what if what you're really holding is your inhibitions? what if i were to tell you that letting go of them right now, right this instant, would lead to a life irrevocably content and happy	hey, did you hear about Steve? he stripped naked, ate every urinal cake on the floor, then jumped to his death singing Ziggy Stardust that fucking crab.

1025. CC359: School Stationary

by TheGovernor on June 25, 2007
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

CC359: School Stationary by TheGovernor 6-25-07
Okay class can anyone tell me what you get when you multiply four by seven? What about you Tabitha?, would you like to come write your answer on the black board?	Well done, gold star. Thank you miss	Erm Miss Crabfanny, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I agreed to be your teaching assistant.

1026. Dungbeetle Funeral

by smamurai on June 8, 2006
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

Dungbeetle Funeral

I think at the end his passing came as a shock to us all. One minute he was eating shit, the next minute he was gone. That's how I would like to go.

by smamurai, 6-08-06

1027. Halloween Frights

by christopher7murphy on November 2, 2007
Rating: 8.15 (27 votes)

Halloween Frights by christopher7murphy 11-02-07
Again! Again! But Halloween is over! You'll have nightmares.	I don't care! Read it again! Alright.	-shiver- Cut up one pumpkin, add three eggs, and a half a cup of sugar. Bake for 45 minutes at 350 degrees...

1028. Cowboy physics

by max on January 6, 2001
Rating: 8.2 (97 votes)

Cowboy physics by max 1-06-01
One day at the ranch... So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha, ha!		What the fuck are you talking about?

1029. Newlywed

by suicide_king on May 26, 2005
Rating: 8.14 (59 votes)

Newlywed by suicide_king 5-26-05
How's marraige treatin' ya? Great.	Fucked your wife in the ass yet? God no.	You should, she loves it.

1030. Of Course, Of Course

by umfumdisi on January 31, 2007
Rating: 8.14 (43 votes)

Of Course, Of Course by umfumdisi 1-31-07
You watching the Super Bowl? Hell Yeah! Who you for?	I'm a horse. I have to pull for the Colts. Yeah, I'm rooting for the Bears for the same reason.	You're a horse?

1031. How hung is god?

by choadwarrior on April 30, 2003
Rating: 8.14 (43 votes)

How hung is god? by choadwarrior 4-30-03
Jesus, is it true God created us in His own image? Yes, my child	And He also made us ashamed of our nakedness? Yes, my child	So He has a tiny wang too?

1032. CC 365: Where no nun has gone before

by TheGovernor on August 21, 2007
Rating: 8.14 (35 votes)

CC 365: Where no nun has gone before by TheGovernor 8-21-07
	Just thought I'd double check, no hand jobs either? Nope

1033. Nice ass.

by mandingo on July 3, 2007
Rating: 8.14 (35 votes)

Nice ass. by mandingo 7-03-07