Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1301. They love em!

by GuyInBoxers on May 22, 2007
Rating: 8 (25 votes)

They love em! by GuyInBoxers 5-22-07
So I met this hot chick at a bar last night. Should I sent her a text message? Ya, send her a picture of your ass. Chicks dig that.	I don't have a camera phone...	I like how thats the only thing stopping you.

1302. No Form Letter

by umfumdisi on February 8, 2007
Rating: 8 (25 votes)

No Form Letter by umfumdisi 2-08-07
Dear Occupant, It has come to our attention that you suck. Regards, Management

1303. Meanwhile, Leon leaves the back way.

by ObiJo on November 21, 2006
Rating: 8 (25 votes)

Meanwhile, Leon leaves the back way. by ObiJo 11-21-06
Down by 6, 14 seconds left, here's the snap... it's a Hail Mary! Ball's up... jumping for it...	Incomplete! Leaving me to wonder once again if that longshot play has ever worked!	2000 years earlier... I know we haven't had sex, Joseph, but it's God's baby. A MIRACLE!

1304. Half & Half

by Scyess on May 12, 2005
Rating: 8 (25 votes)

Half & Half by Scyess 5-12-05
Hey you! What do you think you're doing? This is a nudist colony! ...but...	...but nothing! Get naked or get out!	Sir, you are required to cover your genetalia in public. Get some pants or get out. IS THERE NOWHERE I FIT IN?!

1305. RIP Patrick Swayze

by Injokester on September 14, 2009
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

RIP Patrick Swayze by Injokester 9-14-09
Earlier today actor Patrick Swayze died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.	And so we here at Channel 3 pay our respects in the only way we can.	Ms Goldberg, has he contacted you yet? Go away!

1306. CC418: Bar Talk

by LittleRocker on February 24, 2009
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

CC418: Bar Talk by LittleRocker 2-24-09
I raped a little girl last night. Really.	She was seven years old, at first she was pushing me away, but then I punched her until she was unconscious and then began to do her up the ass. Wow.	What? Oh no, I just thought you were a homosexual thats all.

1307. I'm going to Hell

by The_young_scot on April 26, 2008
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

I'm going to Hell by The_young_scot 4-26-08
Tom, we're thinking of doing a podcast, to illustrate how our company helps out in the Jewish community Ok	We'd like you to come up with a name The Jewcast?	Hrm, no. We need a name that brings to mind the history of Jewish people The Holocast?

1308. CC 380: Free Fallin'

by umfumdisi on February 10, 2008
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

CC 380: Free Fallin' by umfumdisi 2-10-08
Goodbye cruel world.	You will hurt me no longer.	This is taking longer than I thought it would.

1309. #2 With Extra Cheese

by nragemachine on January 10, 2008
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

#2 With Extra Cheese by nragemachine 1-10-08
Now remember, We were eating at Burger King when a mexican hit your car in the parking lot. Don't tell her you lost control of the car and ate shit! Burger King, mexican, eat shit....got it.	Hey, hun. Where have you been? We ate shit at a mexican Burger King.

1310. Christmas Eve Press Conference

by mandingo on December 24, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Christmas Eve Press Conference by mandingo 12-24-07
every year, NORAD tracks jolly old Santa's sleigh as it flies over American airspace	unfortunately, our targetting systems accidentally shot good Saint Nick down tonight. but i want to STRESS he's perfectly fine and will be on his way again as soon as he complies complies?	TELL US THE NAMES OF THE NAUGHTY CHILDREN!!!

1311. Dear John letter

by mandingo on December 19, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Dear John letter by mandingo 12-19-07
she says you're too slow. too "GODDAMNED slow" in fact. then she starts making fun of the fact that you're illiterate.	after that, she talks about how you're incompetent in bed.	i never asked you to read this to me. i know. then on page two...

1312. Cum on Feel the Silenze

by choadwarrior on December 1, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Cum on Feel the Silenze by choadwarrior 12-01-07
80's singer Kevin DuBrow was found dead in his Las Vegas home this week. The cause of death is not known. Poor metal health, I'd say.	I'll bang your head for that one.	Were you having a moment of silence there? No, I was having a riot of quiet.

1313. Try Licking the Tip

by christopher7murphy on September 12, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Try Licking the Tip by christopher7murphy 9-12-07
Hey, somebody?	I recreated the crime scene as close as I can. But....	I think this cat is out of ink.

1314. Incorrect conclusions

by JStrong on August 15, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Incorrect conclusions by JStrong 8-15-07
If you don't say something suave, and fast, you're getting nowhere. Goodnight, hun.	I shaved my balls before our date. You know. Just in case.	Note to self: Girls like hairy balls.

1315. YM IV

by RedfeatheR on August 6, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

YM IV

YOUR MOMMA'S SO DISLIKED THAT SHE HAS CONSTANT JOKES TOLD ABOUT HER TO YOU

by RedfeatheR, 8-06-07

1316. V.Pie.

by mandingo on July 12, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

V.Pie. by mandingo 7-12-07
i'm not going to point fingers, but you were the worst possible vice-president i could have picked		that's true. you did win the televised debate.

1317. looks that way

by mandingo on July 11, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

looks that way by mandingo 7-11-07
looks like you brought a knife to a gun fight looks like you brought elmer fudd to a ninja smackdown	god, i never knew it could be like that i've never come that hard without invoking oositsu	looks like you said you'd call but never did looks like you were emotionally unavailable

1318. New Comic

by Humpenstein on May 31, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

New Comic by Humpenstein 5-31-07
First rule of English: Mr. Hartley is always right.	I thought the first rule of English was never to refer to yourself in third person.

1319. The Toga Bar - What the hell.

by up4abeer on May 7, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

The Toga Bar - What the hell. by up4abeer 5-07-07
What are you doing here? I have come to remind people that sex is natural and war is not.	I'm here for karaoke. What are you going to sing?	"Onward Christian Soldiers" and "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" You are such an Asshole.

1320. For Personal Assistance Press Zero

by Hatrix on January 31, 2007
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

For Personal Assistance Press Zero by Hatrix 1-31-07
It's not that I'm unfriendly.	I just really hate people.	So do I get the job? Absolutely. Welcome to customer service!

1321. Schrodinger's First Date

by Smurph on May 10, 2006
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

Schrodinger's First Date by Smurph 5-10-06
Hey darlin, I brought you a present. Its a pet cat. Oh, that's so sweet!	Yeah... Yeah... Listen, don't open the box, else it was your fault.

1322. My God, it's full of R's

by boorite on January 29, 2004
Rating: 8 (20 votes)

My God, it's full of R's by boorite 1-29-04
You were right: You CAN see the stars much better, out here in the desert. Why? Transparency of the atmosphere from ground to space. It's calculated from the total amount of water vapor in the air.		Arrrrrrr.

1323. At Least it's not Bank of America

by ivytheplant on January 23, 2011
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

At Least it's not Bank of America by ivytheplant 1-23-11
2009 Hello, Bank? Why is my debit card not working anymore? Oh, someone hacked into Visa, so we issued you new cards, but didn't think to tell you about it.	2010 Hello, Bank? Why is my debit card not working anymore? Oh, we saw a transaction at a legitimate business and decided it was fraudulent, so we inconvenienced you by shutting down your card and not telling you about it.	2011 Hello, Bank? Why didn't you flag 10,000 transactions for Xbox Live made on the same day as suspicious? Your call is very important to us...

1324. Never Forget

by choadwarrior on September 11, 2009
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Never Forget by choadwarrior 9-11-09
It's your birthday today? Yeah.	That's so creepy. You mean because today is associated with so much tragedy and suffering?	No. You're like old.

1325. CC 407: Obama will win

by TheGovernor on November 16, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

CC 407: Obama will win by TheGovernor 11-16-08
A few months Back, Republican Convention Ahh Screw this then, Im going to give the Vice President nomination to the next person who walks through that door	Hi Senator McCain is this the way to the Lipstick Hockey Moms Fundermentalist Christian, Gun-Toting, pro-life, 'We hate the poor, gays, arabs, and the evolution therory Club' ?	God Dammit

1326. Pearls Before Swine Physics

by UnknownEric on April 8, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Pearls Before Swine Physics by UnknownEric 4-08-08
So I says, "This comic strip isn't going to produce cynicism by itself!" Ha ha!		Fuck you.

1327. Even lil William

by mandingo on March 28, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Even lil William by mandingo 3-28-08
you know, if i could make any porno, you know what i'd do? what?	i'd hire a dude that had a sex change to become a girl, and a girl who had a sex change to become a dude... right, right...	and i'd have them beat the Baldwins to death with rebar that's how all your movies end

1328. Incorrect

by gabe_billings on March 9, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Incorrect by gabe_billings 3-09-08
Forget it. Wait! Take the chicken across, come back and get the dog, swap the dog and chicken, get the corn, leave the chicken, then finally bring the chicken over.	Wow. I'm impressed. Didn't think I had it in me?	No, because you kept... Then when I'm done I stick the chicken up my ass.

1329. Vegan Perspective

by Scyess on February 28, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Vegan Perspective by Scyess 2-28-08
Damn, Jon! This is the tastiest vegan cabbage I've ever eaten! What's your secret? Well... butter. Lots of butter.	Also lamb bones and bacon fat.	I would slap you for desecrating your fellow living creatures if they weren't so damned tasty. I'm sure they'd understand if they knew just how tasty they really are.

1330. Inner City

by mandingo on January 8, 2008
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Inner City by mandingo 1-08-08
how's the brothel buisness, my man? good. i just hired a couple real smart guys to manage it so i'm expecting profits to skyrocket	sales are down 80% damn. i was afraid of that	too many of us

1331. Grunt Work

by choadwarrior on September 29, 2007
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Grunt Work by choadwarrior 9-29-07
Wow, first time in six years that I've had to take a dump at work.	What if someone comes in here and smells this? They'll all know it was me, and Ive built a career on the illusion that my shit don't stink.	ATTENTION! ALL MALE EMPLOYEES TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM FOR AN IMPROMPTU STAFF MEETING. CHOP CHOP!

1332. Imaginary Friend

by kane2742 on September 27, 2007
Rating: 8 (15 votes)

Imaginary Friend by kane2742 9-27-07
Hey, have you met my imaginary friend, Abby? Mmm...No. Hi, Abby.	Hi. I'm not imaginary. Everyone can see me. Not EVERYONE.	Name one person who can't. Umm...Stevie Wonder?